Scylla Rhiadra

Suffer the Little Children (Yes yes, this shows breastfeeding, but you can't actually see anything.)

The numbers I've seen suggest that it is indeed still relatively popular, although LeLutka dwarfs everything else now (I think I remember seeing 85% of heads are now LeLu?). My vague sense from things I've read is that there are reasons the Genus update has been so long in coming -- I seem to recall something about a new child, and there may be a Russian / Ukrainian connection or complication? If it does ever get updated, I'd be quite happy to stick with it. That said, I think the LeLutka Evo line is objectively a "better" head in many ways. But it does come down to personal preference. I've been working pretty hard to shape my LeLutka so that it looks as much as possible like my Genus, and I think it's coming along, but it'll never be a perfect match. What I want, of course, is my Genus -- but better and improved.

I can attest to this. I once IMed Lil and she IGNORED ME. /me sobs quietly. At least, I think I did. I sort of remember doing so once. Maybe. Either way, it's a good story. *sob*

And this, sadly, is why I've been experimenting with LeLutka. I love my Genus, and I love the look that I took literally YEARS to perfect with it, but honestly, how long as it been? And it's so glitchy: it really needs that update. As it happens (to get back on topic), I think the LeLutka (which I'm not yet happy with) looks a bit older than my Genus.

The fashion for extremely "curvy" women with large posteriors has a pretty old history, going back to at least the late 18th century in the West; its most recent manifestations are celebrities and artists such as Nicki Minaj and Kim Kardashian, of course. The discourse surrounding this off-and-on trend is highly racialized -- Sara Baartman, a South African (probably) woman who was "displayed" in Europe in the late 18th and early 19th centuries, is the earliest well known example, but think also of Josephine Baker, whose body type defied an age that was very much into "boyishly slim" women. There's an excellent podcast on CBC, featuring an interview with a woman who has just published a book on the subject of the history of "butts." It's really informative, entertaining, and manageably short (about 20 mins.). I have her book on order . . . https://www.cbc.ca/player/play/2126856771694

I think, based solely on my personal experience, that there is a great deal more variability in the ages men represent in SL. I see many more "older" men in SL than I do older women. There are reasons for that. First is that, for whatever reason, it seems to be easier to age male avatars well. I'd love to represent as mid or even late 30s, but it's difficult to find skins or add-ons that can catch that subtlety well. I wear crow's feet and eyebags, and I've tried wrinkles and laugh lines (which don't look great), but in general a woman can look in her 20s here, or in her 70s, with not a lot of play between those ages. The second reason is that, as a culture, we've decided that men age "better" than women. This is particularly evident in the fashion and film industries. Men over about 35 start to look "distinguished" and "craggy," while women, we're told, just look . . . old. Related to this second reason, and to what Rowan says above, is a tendency to sexually infantilize women. Older men with much younger partners are pretty acceptable; older women with younger men are derided as "cougars," or worse. That infantilization of women is particularly pronounced in parts of SL. PS. If you want to see this last dynamic at work very visibly, try visiting TikTok for a bit.

Oh **** . . .

There are new varieties of gachas, that aren't really gachas but that maintain some elements of the original game. They are not deemed to be "gambling" because, although they queue up items, you can see what you are actually purchasing.

With respect, Krystina, I think you are misreading, or at least omitting, things I have said, including in the post that you actually quote. Far from "white knighting" the OP, I've explicitly said that I don't think her case merits more than the tools already available. I totally agree that "rudeness" is not the same as victimization by harassment or stalking. I also agree that the OP's case seems not to be about harassment or stalking or griefing, but about her desire to merely "customize" her SL to the point of actually impinging upon the experience of others. Where, here, do you see me supporting, yet alone "white knighting," the OP's request? I am interested in this issue in the abstract, because it does relate to those who have been the victims of stalking. But I think I have been pretty clear that I don't think that that's the case here.

I didn't offer advice because there is no actual existing solution to the problem that she poses. And one possible "fix" -- making the "blocker" also invisible to the person blocked -- would be a gift to griefers and stalkers. And, finally, because the particular reasons she wants this don't seem to justify it. In this particular instance, anyway, the tools available are more than adequate.

Agreed.

Presumably because the OP has argued that it shouldn't be impossible. Although, in fairness, that view was answered fairly early on as well. And because people enjoy finding ingenious workarounds to problems, even if the problem they are responding to isn't actually relevant to the OP. I will plead guilty to the charge of being extra sensitive to this kind of issue, because I've known too many people (mostly women) who have been targeted by griefers and stalkers. That doesn't seem to be the case here, so I undoubtedly should just shut up, but it's given me a sort of visceral dislike of "solutions" that run along the lines of "So don't log in" or "So spend your SL in a fortified encampment built around your own parcel." I'd like to think we can find solutions that don't involve sending the person who is requesting some protections and/or privacy into a self-imposed exile. It's too much like telling women "don't dress like that" or "stop going out at night." Again, I'm very far from sure that the analogy holds in this instance. But it explains, even if it doesn not justify, my own responses.

Again. This is not what the OP is asking for. She does not want to be hidden from everyone. She's asking how to avoid being seen by certain people she's decided she doesn't want to see her, in a public place. Whether that's a reasonable request or not depends (so far as I am concerned) on context and motivation. Whether it's feasible is less so: it currently is not.

Hi Demichael, and welcome to the forum! A skybox is like any other possession or item: you generally require either land of your own, or permissions to rez objects on someone else's land, to set it out. So, you'll require either a parcel that you've bought or rented of sufficient size and prim allowance, or permission from someone else to set it out. A temporary and not very satisfactory alternative is to set it out in a public sandbox. The problem with this is that you won't be able to leave it out permanently there: you can only set it out when you want to use it, and then put it away in your inventory again (including furnishings) when you're done with it (or it will be returned to you after a certain period of time). And on a sandbox you won't have the kinds of privacy you might want. If you search for cheap rentals, you may be able to find a spot on the mainland or an estate that is affordable and suitable for this. Setting out the skybox generally involves rezzing it on the ground, and then changing the "Z" value of location to the height that you want. Or if you have a sky platform, you can of course set it on that as well.

While (as I've already noted) I have some sympathy for those who might want to remain unseen by stalkers, griefers, and harassers, there is a difference between that capability, and finding means to remain hidden from everyone. And that is what I was specifically referring to. I can see arguments for the former; I'd worry about the misuses of the latter, and don't understand why someone who was being harassed by a particular person or people would need to render themselves invisible to everyone.

You're right on all counts. And I don't want to seem to be overstating this: I don't think that griefers and stalkers are going to be lining up to read this thread for helpful hints. But the fact that those who do grief and stalk in SL may already know how to do it doesn't seem to me a good argument for providing that kind of information here. It just seems to me inappropriate -- and it could be misused by malicious actors who are not serial stalkers, etc. By way of analogy, I can pretty easily find information online about how to spoof email addresses and URLs, how to use Apple AirTags to stalk people IRL, how to build pipe bombs, etc. -- but I don't think any of us would think that is information that belongs in an easily-accessible public venue such as this. Again, I don't want to overstate this. I'm not even suggesting that such information be removed. But I sometimes wish people would think a bit more carefully about the possible uses and implications of things we post here.

It is maybe mildly disturbing that suggested remedies for the OP's complaint have shifted from her focus -- remaining unseen by certain people of her choice -- to how to hide from everyone. Apart from the fact that they don't address the OP's actual issue, don't these also sort of function as a "How to" for griefers and stalkers? I'm sure that's not the intent, but it's sort of the effect.

My alt Laskya has used a sandbox -- The Ivory Tower of Prims -- for this. And I am pretty sure there are places on the SLRR and public highways you can use. At one point, Laskya's "home" was a spot on the rails just in front of a station.

Oh, the laughter reaction is fine. He isn't at all evil (well, mostly), and generally uses it to evoke a laugh. He's a very nice man (with an execrable sense of humour). Which is why we are still very good friends after nearly 12 years.

My SL ex has his chat logs not merely preserved, but carefully organized. It can be more than a little unnerving at times: he has the ability to respond to an opinion I've expressed by noting "But that's not what you said in September 2010." It takes him literally a half minute to quote me back at myself. 🙄

I'm not sure how directly relevant it is, but there has of course been a fair amount of academic research on the subject of virtual or "synthetic" economies. Edward Castranova was a pioneer in that field, although I don't think he's produced anything on the subject in a while. Of course, with the advent of blockchain, cryptocurrencies, and NFTs, the picture has changed quite a bit over the past few years. You might also check The Journal of Virtual Worlds Research if you haven't already: it's online and free access. It's been on hiatus, however, since 2020. Second Life is unique not merely because it was the first really successful virtual world, but also because, astonishingly, it works. It's been around now for over 19 years, and, although niche and small, continues to make a profit, and has a very robust internal economy. Quite a while ago it went through many of the teething pains that other newer platforms are just now experiencing -- rampant land speculation, ponzi schemes and scams, and economic instability. Consumerism is a huge part of the in-world experience and appeal of the platform; I don't have numbers to throw at you, but I'm pretty sure that it's much more important now than it was, say, 10 years ago. Although it is out of date, a good place to get a sense of the social dimension of "owning things" might be Tom Boellstorff's classic anthropological study, Coming of Age in Second Life, which was first published, I think, in 2008 (coincidentally, my first year in SL). My general sense of "marketing" in SL is a bit hazy -- I did at one point long ago own a bookstore, but I didn't "market" it in any consistent way. There are, however, creators on this forum who do. Marketing is a bit haphazard, I think. It uses social media a fair bit, but there are relatively few tools in-world to assist with it, other than "groups" associated with particular stores or businesses. Flickr, Twitter, and Facebook are all common places to advertise. Many creators, especially the bigger ones, employ "bloggers" who, in exchange for free stuff, feature items from a store in photos on these platforms. Blogging goods is very big here. And increasingly over the past few years, "events" -- weekly, monthly, or annual shopping fairs -- have become very big and important, and now proliferate. Most (but not all) of these are features on Seraphim, which has (in Second Life) an enormous reach, and is unquestionably the most important non-Linden Lab site and resource. My own sense is that consumerism in SL is very peer-driven. Strictly speaking, there are very few (if any) things that one "needs" in Second Life -- you can have a relatively good experience here just using the default starter avatars and/or freebie goods fairly widely available (although sometimes hard to find). In practice though one's social status, and the degree to which one can successfully and fully integrate oneself into the communities one finds here, is very much dependent on how "good" and up-to-date one's avatar looks, so avatar customization is huge. The most important components of that are clothing (there are thousands of clothing stores, some very large and successful), mesh bodies, and mesh heads. The latter two tend, I think, to be particularly susceptible to peer pressure: they are dominated by a small handful of merchants, and the market tends to be very susceptible to trends and a desire to own "the new shiny." The success of mesh head makers like LeLutka (by far the most popular current creator of these), or mesh body makers such as Legacy, Kupra, eBody, or Maitreya (this latter still dominant, but now slipping) certainly owes something to conventional marketing, but more, I think, to peer pressure and the desire to be "up to date." I suspect you'll find that other VW platforms are very different in their approach to economics, consumerism, and marketing -- although there is some overlap: some creators here produce for other platforms as well. The irony is that what SL, as "old" and out-of-date as it is in some respects, has done works very well, and continues to sustain an economy that is actually larger, more robust, and more profitable than any of these other platforms. And I suspect that's because most of the newer ones are more interested in "real life" economics (and also, frankly, scams) than SL has historically been.

What I said about Rowan's pic, above, applies somewhat here too, Danielle! Great pose, and you look deeply engaged with the person taking the pic. I can totally imagine you saying this. You look like you're ready to jump out of the photo.

What I think I love most about his pic (and I do love it) is your expression, which is very simple, but very expressive and lifelike. I do love when avatars come alive in photos. 🙂

I agree with Miguel. Very nice composition! And yes, very cute. 🙂