Bree Giffen Posted August 23 Share Posted August 23 PBR actually does make SL look really great for those who can run it. 5 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandorWren Posted August 23 Share Posted August 23 16 hours ago, Fluffy Sharkfin said: I just kept my avatar the same height and gave up hanging around with stupidly tall people. No matter how much you conform some people will never truly accept you until you're just an inferior version of them (because, of course, if you become too like them they'll begin to see you as a threat to their individuality and accuse you of copying them). It's only worth conforming if the others in question are willing to conform to us as well. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dorientje Woller Posted August 23 Share Posted August 23 Relationships in SL are like my 2 Labra ... oh look, a squirrel. 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BilliJo Aldrin Posted August 23 Share Posted August 23 5 hours ago, Dorientje Woller said: Relationships in SL are like my 2 Labra ... oh look, a squirrel. do your Labs make it feel like they dislocated your shoulder when they attempt to go after it? Thats the curse of having a beagle pit mix. 😂 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Zhaoying Posted August 23 Author Share Posted August 23 7 hours ago, Bree Giffen said: PBR actually does make SL look really great for those who can run it. Adding, Inconveniently: The EEP changes look pretty good with the new sliders..if you use them..if you knew to use them..if anyone told us we needed to use them so that old EEP didn't look like crud.. This was my main complaint about PBR, and I happen to stumble upon the "fix", inconveniently! (In fairness, I did see someone post a Firestorm article about how to fix EEP's for PBR, and remembered it enough to fiddle.) Inconvenient! And TRUE! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandorWren Posted August 23 Share Posted August 23 6 hours ago, Dorientje Woller said: Relationships in SL are like my 2 Labra ... oh look, a squirrel. It's the exceptions that make the rule!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna Bliss Posted August 23 Share Posted August 23 19 hours ago, Paul Hexem said: On 8/22/2024 at 7:54 AM, Luna Bliss said: In 1st life my ex-husband went through severe trauma because he wasn't super tall. He was harassed mercilessly in school by the super-jocks so prevalent in the rural area where he grew up, with lasting damage to his psyche. It's interesting to ponder how we came to see tall people as superior, especially men. And sending this unneeded aspect of socialization out the window would certainly benefit a lot of men who are condemned for being short. It's funny you should mention that. Just yesterday I was reading about men being insulted for their height being a huge thing online in the last several years, and how even before that there's always been a bias (tall people make more money, for example). Would explain why we see such overcompensation in SL. makes sense... I'd never heard that 'manlet' term you mentioned in another post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul Hexem Posted August 23 Share Posted August 23 7 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said: makes sense... I'd never heard that 'manlet' term you mentioned in another post. It gets worse. That's one of the nicer, forum friendly things I've heard said. Usually by college age girls on TikTok, so how serious an issue it is, that's up for interpretation. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandorWren Posted August 23 Share Posted August 23 19 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said: I don't have massive boobs or a big butt in RL, but I don't feel the need to compensate here. (And try being a tall woman, especially in your teens!) Awwww....Won't you compensate just a teensy bit? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna Bliss Posted August 23 Share Posted August 23 17 minutes ago, Paul Hexem said: 26 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said: makes sense... I'd never heard that 'manlet' term you mentioned in another post. It gets worse. That's one of the nicer, forum friendly things I've heard said. Usually by college age girls on TikTok, so how serious an issue it is, that's up for interpretation. Well that's discouraging -- I thought younger women more often relinquished placing such value on traditional masculinity (bigger being synonymous with strength, one of the defining characteristics of traditional masculinity). Maybe perceptions moved in that direction (valuing 'nerdy' or intelligent men, or emotionally expressive men, for example) but traditional valuations remain for most or many. In SL we certainly witness the inconvenient truth that it persists. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayashe Ninetails Posted August 23 Share Posted August 23 21 minutes ago, Paul Hexem said: It gets worse. That's one of the nicer, forum friendly things I've heard said. Usually by college age girls on TikTok, so how serious an issue it is, that's up for interpretation. Much like everything on TikTok... Old term. I remember first hearing it years ago, but I think it specifically refers to men who are short (like under 5'6" or so) and super buff. Like the guys who were always hanging out in the gym I used to work at. 😂 I adore short men, but I do not like big muscles at all, so I'm not into that type at all unfortunately. Short, thin dudes, tho...y'all know where I'm at. 😏 Inconvenient truth in SL - not enough short guys. Then again, I'm way too tall in SL, so that wouldn't work out so well when it comes to dance balls and whatnot. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandorWren Posted August 23 Share Posted August 23 9 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said: Well that's discouraging -- I thought younger women more often relinquished placing such value on traditional masculinity (bigger being synonymous with strength, one of the defining characteristics of traditional masculinity). Maybe perceptions moved in that direction (valuing 'nerdy' or intelligent men, or emotionally expressive men, for example) but traditional valuations remain for most or many. In SL we certainly witness the inconvenient truth that it persists. That's one thing we can't escape. The primal instinct to be able to survive and reproduce. My personal perception is that what we think of as discouraging or encouraging depends on the way society "thinks" at a particular time. And that can be highly contradictory even within itself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul Hexem Posted August 23 Share Posted August 23 34 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said: Well that's discouraging -- I thought younger women more often relinquished placing such value on traditional masculinity Absolutely not. 35 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said: Maybe perceptions moved in that direction (valuing 'nerdy' or intelligent men, or emotionally expressive men, for example) but traditional valuations remain for most or many. The biggest complaint I see younger men making these days is that they can't be emotionally expressive or they get dumped. We as a society keep saying we want change, but it seems like it's only as long as it doesn't actually affect us. That's an inconvenient truth right there. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna Bliss Posted August 23 Share Posted August 23 1 minute ago, SandorWren said: 33 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said: Well that's discouraging -- I thought younger women more often relinquished placing such value on traditional masculinity (bigger being synonymous with strength, one of the defining characteristics of traditional masculinity). Maybe perceptions moved in that direction (valuing 'nerdy' or intelligent men, or emotionally expressive men, for example) but traditional valuations remain for most or many. In SL we certainly witness the inconvenient truth that it persists. That's one thing we can't escape. The primal instinct to be able to survive and reproduce. My personal perception is that what we think of as discouraging or encouraging depends on the way society "thinks" at a particular time. And that can be highly contradictory even within itself. Yeah that's an important factor in what we value at any given time -- the ability to survive and reproduce. But basically the modern man just needs to have the physical strength to open that damm contrary jar in order for us to survive today...lol. So I don't agree -- we in fact do need to "escape" from this stereotype of physical strength being the defining characteristic of what it means to be a man. It's true that these stereotypes/preferences are based on the way a society "thinks" at any given time. My issue with this is that sometimes the way they're thinking is wrong and destructive for some, and so I want us to "think" differently. For example, my ex-husband was bullied and literally beaten up because he didn't fit the strong, athletic type so valued on the rural plains. His strength, utilized later in his life with an innovative and good-paying career via his intelligence, was not valued in the traditional community he grew up in. I"m glad to see the stereotypes changing to a degree, but they're not changing as fast as I'd like. Unfortunately, outdated thinking frequently need pressure to change -- activism or confrontation -- lest we stay rooted in a past that doesn't serve us anymore. Inconvenient truth: Yes SL is being utilized in this transition, but not enough! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Zhaoying Posted August 23 Author Share Posted August 23 Inconvenient Truth: You won't get away from the "Battle of the Sexes" (arguing about genders/gender roles) in Second Life. ..at least not on the Forums! 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna Bliss Posted August 23 Share Posted August 23 2 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said: Inconvenient Truth: You won't get away from the "Battle of the Sexes" (arguing about genders/gender roles) in Second Life. ..at least not on the Forums! But is it a 'battle' if I'm a woman arguing for men on this thread? Confused... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Zhaoying Posted August 23 Author Share Posted August 23 I keep seeing someone who supposedly has me blocked posting..I sure hope they aren't reading my posts and replying! OMG I see they reacted to one of my posts. What is this world coming to? * smh * <= This means, "shaking my head" WHY CAN'T I HAVE NICE THINGS?!? Inconvenient Truth: You can't control someone else on the Second Life and the Forums. You can only control YOURSELF. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandorWren Posted August 23 Share Posted August 23 15 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said: Yeah that's an important factor in what we value at any given time -- the ability to survive and reproduce. But basically the modern man just needs to have the physical strength to open that damm contrary jar in order for us to survive today...lol. So I don't agree -- we in fact do need to "escape" from this stereotype of physical strength being the defining characteristic of what it means to be a man. It's true that these stereotypes/preferences are based on the way a society "thinks" at any given time. My issue with this is that sometimes the way they're thinking is wrong and destructive for some, and so I want us to "think" differently. For example, my ex-husband was bullied and literally beaten up because he didn't fit the strong, athletic type so valued on the rural plains. His strength, utilized later in his life with an innovative and good-paying career via his intelligence, was not valued in the traditional community he grew up in. I"m glad to see the stereotypes changing to a degree, but they're not changing as fast as I'd like. Unfortunately, outdated thinking frequently need pressure to change -- activism or confrontation -- lest we stay rooted in a past that doesn't serve us anymore. Inconvenient truth: Yes SL is being utilized in this transition, but not enough! What we want, and what happens don't always match. Sometimes that's a good thing. We might think our perception of "good" is wonderful, when it really isn't. /me looks back at history. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zalificent Corvinus Posted August 23 Share Posted August 23 3 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said: But is it a 'battle' if I'm a woman arguing for men on this thread? Confused... Every battle has it's share of deserters and turncoats. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fluffy Sharkfin Posted August 23 Share Posted August 23 (edited) 21 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said: I"m glad to see the stereotypes changing to a degree, but they're not changing as fast as I'd like. Unfortunately, outdated thinking frequently need pressure to change -- activism or confrontation -- lest we stay rooted in a past that doesn't serve us anymore. I think part of the problem is due to the recent upheavals in the concepts of traditional gender roles which are now completely undefined and seem to be mostly down to personal preference. To be clear the old gender roles were completely archaic and were in dire need of change but the consequence of that change for a lot of people is a sense of uncertainty when it comes to fulfilling their partners expectations. Of course that sort of problem can be overcome with proper communication but that's a lot easier said than done, especially when one of the traditional gender roles that one or more of the individuals in question may be harboring is the concept that men are the "strong silent type". I suspect that over time as people become more accustomed to the new status quo they will adapt and find ways to define their own gender roles and then find someone with matching ideals but, regardless of how perilous navigating these types of issues has become in modern society, I still think it's preferable to adhering to traditional gender roles that have been used to justify all sorts of behaviour that should most certainly never be considered acceptable. Inconvenient truth: From most of the anecdotal evidence that's posted on these forums it seems like being in SL only serves to encourage that type of traditional stereotypical behaviour. For a place where you can be anything you want to be it seems that some people just want to be a more exaggerated version of their RL selves. Edited August 23 by Fluffy Sharkfin typo 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayashe Ninetails Posted August 23 Share Posted August 23 6 minutes ago, Paul Hexem said: The biggest complaint I see younger men making these days is that they can't be emotionally expressive or they get dumped. That doesn't sound like an issue they ought to be worrying about. They probably wouldn't mesh well with those women in the first place. There would likely be other incompatibilities along the way. Always are. It's like back when the whole "nice guy" thing was blowing up in the online dating space (I guess it still is, really, but I removed myself from that scene a long time ago) and frankly it all boils down to just finding your people. A woman who doesn't want someone "nice" or emotional isn't really someone an emotional guy should be aiming for. Read the signs. Consider the rejection a blessing and move on along. There are plennnnnnty of women who love an emotionally sensitive guy. It's one of the first things I look for (right after sense of humor - I need stupid jokes in my life). It's not much different in SL. Find your people. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna Bliss Posted August 23 Share Posted August 23 5 minutes ago, Fluffy Sharkfin said: Inconvenient truth: From most of the anecdotal evidence that's posted on these forums it seems like being in SL only serves to encourage that type of traditional stereotypical behaviour. For a place where you can be anything you want to be it seems that some people just want to be a more exaggerated version of their RL selves. I'm wondering if this problem is specific to media itself. I noticed this in the dance company I joined -- the dances were primarily constructed around memes (let me tell you, I did not like the 'sexy school-girl dance I was part of). I suppose we imagine adhering to these stereotypes makes us more known and so relatable -- we all want to be known by the other. It's especially important that a dance presentation be relatable to the audience. I'd like to investigate this further. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zalificent Corvinus Posted August 23 Share Posted August 23 7 minutes ago, Fluffy Sharkfin said: For a place where you can be anything you want to be it seems that some people just want to be a more exaggerated version of their RL selves. You sound surprised. That's been the standard for RP and many games since forever. Game involving RP in the Southern States in the 1860's? An African American probably isn't going to play as the "plantation owner", more likely to play as the "runaway slave who hunts plantation owners". Exaggerated version of them selves as they imagine they would be in that situation. A computer geek who plays a game as a "Leet Haxor", but who can't code worth a damn. The flat chested girl who's never owned a gun, who plays ass "Cara Loft, the Crypt Bandit", with her BIG "guns"! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandorWren Posted August 23 Share Posted August 23 (edited) 28 minutes ago, Fluffy Sharkfin said: I think part of the problem is due to the recent upheavals in the concepts of traditional gender roles which are now completely undefined and seem to be mostly down to personal preference. To be clear the old gender roles were completely archaic and were in dire need of change but the consequence of that change for a lot of people is a sense of uncertainty when it comes to fulfilling their partners expectations. Of course that sort of problem can be overcome with proper communication but that's a lot easier said than done, especially when one of the traditional gender roles that one or more of the individuals in question may be harboring is the concept that men are the "strong silent type". I suspect that over time as people become more accustomed to the new status quo they will adapt and find ways to define their own gender roles and then find someone with matching ideals but, regardless of how perilous navigating these types of issues has become in modern society, I still think it's preferable to adhering to traditional gender roles that have been used to justify all sorts of behaviour that should most certainly never be considered acceptable. Inconvenient truth: From most of the anecdotal evidence that's posted on these forums it seems like being in SL only serves to encourage that type of traditional stereotypical behaviour. For a place where you can be anything you want to be it seems that some people just want to be a more exaggerated version of their RL selves. Here is something interesting. I'm a switch. I have been both dominant and submissive as both male and female. I have been respected in both roles as a female. But no woman has ever wanted me to stay permanently submissive as a male, and I lose respect if I do. Edited August 23 by SandorWren 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fluffy Sharkfin Posted August 23 Share Posted August 23 6 minutes ago, Zalificent Corvinus said: You sound surprised. Hardly. More like wearily disappointed. 7 minutes ago, Zalificent Corvinus said: That's been the standard for RP and many games since forever. I don't roleplay. Not that I have anything against roleplay or roleplayers, I find the whole thing quite fascinating and have often thought it would be really cool to build and script some great big roleplay environments, I just don't seem to have any interest in playing a character. No matter what platform I'm on or what character model/avatar I'm using I'm just 100% me all the time. Everything I say and do, for better or worse, is just a direct result of me being me. I guess I can understand people wanting to portray an idealised version of themselves but personally I'm quite happy being the me I already am. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Facebook
Instagram
Twitter
YouTube
Flickr
Recommended Posts
Please sign in to comment
You will be able to leave a comment after signing in
Sign In Now