How to be Your Own Best Friend in SL

[Spiffy Voxel]

19 hours ago, Imogen Bloodrose said:

and even after all the years on SL i still only got 6 friends on my list as random stranger requests will be ignored.

I'm a bit more liberal in accepting friend requests, but only a bit — I try to keep my friends list to people I know fairly well at least. Sadly, I had to prune that list last year as a lot of folks were no longer recognisable to me. 😞

[PheebyKatz]

On 3/10/2024 at 12:24 PM, Spiffy Voxel said:

I'm a bit more liberal in accepting friend requests, but only a bit — I try to keep my friends list to people I know fairly well at least. Sadly, I had to prune that list last year as a lot of folks were no longer recognisable to me. 😞

I prune now and then, and usually within a day or so I end up running into someone I removed. Sometimes they even ask if we had been on each others' friendslists before, lol.

I think most of them now are pretty much the same friends I've had for years, or people that I simply want to keep. I have a few newer friends, but they actually talk to me when they're on, so they're fine.

It's when you find a bunch of people on your list that you don't know, and can't remember friending, that it's gone too far, lol. Meeting someone once and never hearing from them again is a thing. It happens IRL all the time, we just don't usually keep records of it, lol.

[Ivanova Shostakovich]

   Love yourself. You're worth it.

[Zallia Creeley]

On 3/15/2024 at 11:58 AM, Ivanova Shostakovich said:

   Love yourself. You're worth it.

Indeed.

Show yourself gestures of care.

[Medusa Torok]

Oh I am so relieved to find this thread ...  I spend most of my sl time alone. I have never lived alone in rl.. I am  very happily married, with grown up kids, I guess being alone on sl kinda gives me the chance to just be me and do my own thing. It can be either very therapeutic, sometimes lonely, mostly the former.

The 16 year old avi that looks like I took a 15 year sabbatical and never updated it... yup, guilty of that. I took a few years away from sl, came back to find everything was mesh with separate heads and body parts and when you rez into a busy place, theres naked bits and false teeth and bare bums and items of clothing floating around in the air like a scene from a poltergeist movie. A well meaning friend whom I had not seen for many years tried to help me out and showed me where I could get a free body and head. Could I get it to look right? no... whats with the permanent tidemarks round the neck...why is a separate head even a thing..  I looked like a monster... frankenmedusa..  then I realised that the clothes I had lovingly collected years ago would no longer be suitable. Played around with the avi and finally figured out getting rid of the tidemark.I began to despair , thinking about the amount of money I would need to spend to reinvent myself. I think there is a way to make older clothing work but I have no clue.  I am not over keen on some of the new female avatars that all seem to have over-long legs, ridiculously floaty boobs, enormous backsides and they look like sex dolls  from a dodgy website... in the end I chose a non human avatar which has a limited range of clothing, played around with it by adding hairstyles etc., have been told many times it looks cool.  But, I still sometimes use my 16 year old avi and my beloved old clothes, it just feels awkward tho so I am pretty much always  a snake now.

I love having my own land and building whatever I want.  I love being able to spend my time just for me.  Most of my experiences with "friends" have not been great.. I do still have a few contacts from years ago, plus a few new friends since I came back to sl, about a year ago.. but I think the term "friend" doesn't really fit in most cases.. most are just casual or connections from shared interests and there is no one really that I could turn to if I needed help with something, or ask them to hang out with me and know they would want to do it. So I learned to be self reliant.. as you would in the real world, if you were single.  A lot people seem to be looking for a "partner".. or something more basic... nudge nudge wink wink.. I have had to deflect some very determined advances from males and females. 

Self care.. on sl... when you are alone,  is something you need to learn how to do, in your own way, make it your own life, not lived to please anyone else.  I found a few things that interest me and spend my time in pursuit of those interests.  I explore quite often.. just go on a road trip or ride the pods till I see something I want to stop and look at.  Sometimes I find interesting places in other people's avatar picks. 

sorry for the over long post.. this thread just hit the spot with me. 

[Persephone Emerald]

@Medusa Torok,

No need to apologize for a long post. I'm happy to see how people relate to this issue of self-care in SL.

You don't need to look like everyone else, but if you want a mesh body so you can wear mesh clothes, I recommend the LucyBody Atenea (free on their Midnight Madness board), then buy their Bakes On Mesh applier for $L 250. Then you can still wear all your old system clothes, although system skirts don't really fit right. This body fits most Matreya Lara clothes, and there are alot of free Maitreya Lara clothes in SL.

You can keep the shape and head you have now, just adjust the body shape a bit. The free Genus head sometimes shows a neckline. Wearing a system head with a mesh body will too. You can wear a choker to cover the line if it bothers you. When there are free or $L 1 mesh heads, grab them, but there is no need to use them if you don't want to bother. I resisted getting mesh heads for years myself.

Does your Medusa have a human body or a snake body? Jinx has some mesh snake lower bodies. Some stores have Medusa mesh "hair" too. I think Salt and Pepper has one, but also try hair stores. No.Match has a bunch of group gift hair with only a $ L 50 join fee.

For exploring, an attachable bicycle or the train lines in Bellisseria are nice. There's a $L 1 modifiable train on the SL Marketplace that I like. I removed a couple of the cars so it has a lower land impact.

[Medusa Torok]

"Does your Medusa have a human body or a snake body?"  no, neither... it's kind of a snake .. snokra by orange nova.  But I will take a look at your recommendations.. thanks for those I am always looking for decent medusa hair.  Years ago I had a full medusa avi which had eyes scripted to turn other avies into stone.. it had to be by consent, so not a griefer toy.. was fun now n then. ( I dabbled in roleplay in ancient Sparta,  I was in the Spartan  army,  but that's another story. )  Snokra is a complete avie with  the head included.... yayy..  I picked it because its fun, easy to set up, and I had hoped it would deter unwanted sexual attention but nuuuu, it doesn't do that, at all.  Nothing does that.  LOL.

[Kalegthepsionicist]

14 minutes ago, Medusa Torok said:

"Does your Medusa have a human body or a snake body?"  no, neither... it's kind of a snake .. snokra by orange nova.  But I will take a look at your recommendations.. thanks for those I am always looking for decent medusa hair.  Years ago I had a full medusa avi which had eyes scripted to turn other avies into stone.. it had to be by consent, so not a griefer toy.. was fun now n then. ( I dabbled in roleplay in ancient Sparta,  I was in the Spartan  army,  but that's another story. )  Snokra is a complete avie with  the head included.... yayy..  I picked it because its fun, easy to set up, and I had hoped it would deter unwanted sexual attention but nuuuu, it doesn't do that, at all.  Nothing does that.  LOL.

well tbh even u in medusa snake there always be pervert try to get,you seriously. 😁

some dude love beast lady.

try find something more scarry.. medusa still look like woman.

maybe bloop avi.. crocoach.. spider..

Edited April 29 by Kalegthepsionicist

[Persephone Emerald]

2 hours ago, Medusa Torok said:

"Does your Medusa have a human body or a snake body?"  no, neither... it's kind of a snake .. snokra by orange nova.  But I will take a look at your recommendations.. thanks for those I am always looking for decent medusa hair.  Years ago I had a full medusa avi which had eyes scripted to turn other avies into stone.. it had to be by consent, so not a griefer toy.. was fun now n then. ( I dabbled in roleplay in ancient Sparta,  I was in the Spartan  army,  but that's another story. )  Snokra is a complete avie with  the head included.... yayy..  I picked it because its fun, easy to set up, and I had hoped it would deter unwanted sexual attention but nuuuu, it doesn't do that, at all.  Nothing does that.  LOL.

I had a friend who was into ancient world fighting and was in the Spartan army too. That's one place where you don't need a mesh body. Just keep your avatar as low weight as possible, so you can move faster.