Derekmate Posted August 12, 2018 Share Posted August 12, 2018 (edited) So I'm thinking going out and dating again. What is great but I don't know how honest should I be in the beginning? Ok I know totally, is the best. But I don't want to start the whole thing that I go from Ha ha funny to loco in five sec. With out any sign what going to happen. Life with me is like a roller coaster. The hole world can go upside down any minute and the screaming and shouting is guaranteed. And i putted in the wrong place. Edited August 12, 2018 by Derekmate it is in the wrong topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sukubia Scarmon Posted August 12, 2018 Share Posted August 12, 2018 I don't think 100% honesty is something that can be archived. I mean, I strive to be as honest as possible, but I rather not hurt anyones feelings over something with no importance. I think, honestly has a lot to do with diplomacy. Sometimes it's best to not say something at all, sometimes you should absolutely say something. Figuring out what action is best in a given situation, is the challenge. Generally speaking - try to be honest about yourself, what you want, etc. Because people _will_ figure out lies after a while, especially in that regard. And in dating, you want someone compatible with who you are, not with who you pretend/would like to be. You also should not fall into the trap of explaining everything about you in an attempt to be honest. Some parts of a person should remain a mystery, some part's don't need to be understood, only accepted. Also, get the hell away from people who demand 100% honesty at all times and freak out by a single lie. Those are very likely to have issues. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nostoll Posted August 12, 2018 Share Posted August 12, 2018 7 1 14 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aboutfrozenwinter Posted August 12, 2018 Share Posted August 12, 2018 i saw so much people who says "I m always Honest,i m not into sweet words, never had alts,etc,i m brutally honest,etc". But my experience showed me,that this kinds of people lies much more(dont want to offend anyone or call everybody liars,just told about my expreience)/ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelindaN Posted August 12, 2018 Share Posted August 12, 2018 (edited) 2 hours ago, Derekmate said: So I'm thinking going out and dating again. What is great but I don't know how honest should I be in the beginning? Ok I know totally, is the best. But I don't want to start the whole thing that I go from Ha ha funny to loco in five sec. With out any sign what going to happen. Life with me is like a roller coaster. The hole world can go upside down any minute and the screaming and shouting is guaranteed. And i putted in the wrong place. So is it over? Are we finished? But it was so good while it lasted.....*wipes a tear*........ Just kidding........haha! Edited August 12, 2018 by BelindaN Emoticon 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talligurl Posted August 12, 2018 Share Posted August 12, 2018 2 hours ago, BelindaN said: So is it over? Are we finished? But it was so good while it lasted.....*wipes a tear*........ Just kidding........haha! Don't worry Belinda, I am available 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derekmate Posted August 12, 2018 Author Share Posted August 12, 2018 56 minutes ago, Talligurl said: Don't worry Belinda, I am available Hands off doll. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talligurl Posted August 12, 2018 Share Posted August 12, 2018 LOL, yeah right. Try to make me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derekmate Posted August 12, 2018 Author Share Posted August 12, 2018 30 minutes ago, Talligurl said: LOL, yeah right. Try to make me Rap battle ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talligurl Posted August 12, 2018 Share Posted August 12, 2018 No, a sword fight in our underwear while wearing floppy a hat. 2 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derekmate Posted August 12, 2018 Author Share Posted August 12, 2018 Three little problem 1. No sword 2. No hat 3. No underwear. I'm in commando always. 2 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelindaN Posted August 12, 2018 Share Posted August 12, 2018 I'll lend you my sword, hat and underwear........... I'll need a deposit........*blushes * 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelindaN Posted August 12, 2018 Share Posted August 12, 2018 27 minutes ago, Talligurl said: No, a sword fight in our underwear while wearing floppy a hat. Very nice, erm, sword..........haha. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talligurl Posted August 12, 2018 Share Posted August 12, 2018 46 minutes ago, Derekmate said: Three little problem 3. No underwear. I'm in commando always. Well, actually i never wear it under anything. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derekmate Posted August 13, 2018 Author Share Posted August 13, 2018 8 hours ago, BelindaN said: I'll lend you my sword, hat and underwear........... I'll need a deposit........*blushes * To be honest (just to stay on topic) I don'T think your hat will fit me. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derekmate Posted August 13, 2018 Author Share Posted August 13, 2018 13 hours ago, Talligurl said: No, a sword fight in our underwear while wearing floppy a hat. Ok you won as it turns out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talligurl Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 1 hour ago, Derekmate said: Ok you won as it turns out. But I was so looking forward to the sword fight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derekmate Posted August 13, 2018 Author Share Posted August 13, 2018 8 minutes ago, Talligurl said: But I was so looking forward to the sword fight. tough Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alyona Su Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 (edited) 22 hours ago, Derekmate said: So I'm thinking going out and dating again. What is great but I don't know how honest should I be in the beginning? Ok I know totally, is the best. But I don't want to start the whole thing that I go from Ha ha funny to loco in five sec. With out any sign what going to happen. Life with me is like a roller coaster. The hole world can go upside down any minute and the screaming and shouting is guaranteed. And i putted in the wrong place. Cute thread (after the OP that is) LOL Okay, well, I'll throw-in my response to the OP on-topic since I think it is an important question (OP: indulge me here LOL): Honesty and truthfulness are two different things. The cartoon that @Nostall posted is a perfect example of honesty, truthfulness (to me) is far more important, to not be truthful is to intend deceit and I think that's where the real problem lays in SL relationships: too many can be deceitful. As to the question of how honest (truthful) you should be nearest the beginning of any relationship is really a moot point the way I see it. Always be honest within reason (as in the cartoon, you can be frank about it or you can soften it politely). You should, however, always be truthful. The thing is that we are just so impatient and want that romantic thing NAO! I've tried the AVmatch thing (a general waste of time) and I am propositioned often for whatever, "do you role-play?" as code for "Do you *copulate* at the drop of a hat?* LOL Hell, they can't even ask the question directly (truthful, but in a gray area of honesty, I think). As for "romantics": I'm approaching it the RL way: Man-friends: show me you're worth it to me, friend me, spend time with me, take me dancing, take me boating or sim-hopping to do other G-rated activities before any kind of cuddling starts (an long before anything more happens, go ahead, say it aloud how you'd like to 'bed' me, just don't make any attempt to LOL). Let me decide when a cuddle happens, which I did with two of my friends recently - and it happens spontaneously; I said "sit here" and *I* picked the menu choices, then I asked him to take control. He earned my trust at that point. He told me he was very tempted to hit the buttons in the "Adult" menu, but "restrained" himself, to which I laughed, but also allowed my "trust-factor" to go up a notch. All we did prior was chat and he (both of them) never asked to come to me, I always (after a while) invited him to join me wherever I was; I was always to one to offer the TP. In simple terms: a long-lasting romantic relationship is when you start out slowly and just let things build up. I state in my picks outright: "I'm not a trollop, but my friends have benefits" - and all my man-friends know outright that I see others, I am not monogamous, but they also know I don't do cuddling at the drop of a hat, either, much less anything more intimate. Now I can see who respects me (and couple of them are definitely trying hard to win me over) - does that mean I'm "playing hard to get" - maybe, but whoever wins out in the end, it will be because we click, understand each other well, and know each other's limits with regard to everything, including and especially the level of separation between SL and RL information, etc. To summarize: Too many are in too much of a hurry to 'hook-up' with someone ( a stranger, really) romantically and all we have in the beginning are written words or voice. That leaves a lot of blind areas. So instead of making cuddling or anything more intimate such a high priority, just make friends. The cuddles, snuggles, and more will come later (or not) but it starts with respect and friendship. That's the glue that holds it all together. And respect starts with truthfulness. I never lie to anyone myself. If asked a question I will always answer it. If it's something I'm not ready to answer directly, yet, then I'll say so ("I'm not ready to answer that just yet"). Edited August 13, 2018 by Alyona Su 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talligurl Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 15 minutes ago, Derekmate said: tough What if I let you bring the sword and I bring the sheath? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derekmate Posted August 13, 2018 Author Share Posted August 13, 2018 (edited) 1 hour ago, Talligurl said: What if I let you bring the sword and I bring the sheath? Surprise I guess. Edited August 13, 2018 by Derekmate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelindaN Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 5 hours ago, Derekmate said: Ok you won as it turns out. Well y'know, Talli has a better body. There I've said it..... It's mesh.........haha. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelindaN Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 3 hours ago, Alyona Su said: Cute thread (after the OP that is) LOL Okay, well, I'll throw-in my response to the OP on-topic since I think it is an important question (OP: indulge me here LOL): Honesty and truthfulness are two different things. The cartoon that @Nostall posted is a perfect example of honesty, truthfulness (to me) is far more important, to not be truthful is to intend deceit and I think that's where the real problem lays in SL relationships: too many can be deceitful. MAs to the question of how honest (truthful) you should be nearest the beginning of any relationship is really a moot point the way I see it. Always be honest within reason (as in the cartoon, you can be frank about it or you can soften it politely). You should, however, always be truthful. The thing is that we are just so impatient and want that romantic thing NAO! I've tried the AVmatch thing (a general waste of time) and I am propositioned often for whatever, "do you role-play?" as code for "Do you *copulate* at the drop of a hat?* LOL Hell, they can't even ask the question directly (truthful, but in a gray area of honesty, I think). As for "romantics": I'm approaching it the RL way: Man-friends: show me you're worth it to me, friend me, spend time with me, take me dancing, take me boating or sim-hopping to do other G-rated activities before any kind of cuddling starts (an long before anything more happens, go ahead, say it aloud how you'd like to 'bed' me, just don't make any attempt to LOL). Let me decide when a cuddle happens, which I did with two of my friends recently - and it happens spontaneously; I said "sit here" and *I* picked the menu choices, then I asked him to take control. He earned my trust at that point. He told me he was very tempted to hit the buttons in the "Adult" menu, but "restrained" himself, to which I laughed, but also allowed my "trust-factor" to go up a notch. All we did prior was chat and he (both of them) never asked to come to me, I always (after a while) invited him to join me wherever I was; I was always to one to offer the TP. In simple terms: a long-lasting romantic relationship is when you start out slowly and just let things build up. I state in my picks outright: "I'm not a trollop, but my friends have benefits" - and all my man-friends know outright that I see others, I am not monogamous, but they also know I don't do cuddling at the drop of a hat, either, much less anything more intimate. Now I can see who respects me (and couple of them are definitely trying hard to win me over) - does that mean I'm "playing hard to get" - maybe, but whoever wins out in the end, it will be because we click, understand each other well, and know each other's limits with regard to everything, including and especially the level of separation between SL and RL information, etc. To summarize: Too many are in too much of a hurry to 'hook-up' with someone ( a stranger, really) romantically and all we have in the beginning are written words or voice. That leaves a lot of blind areas. So instead of making cuddling or anything more intimate such a high priority, just make friends. The cuddles, snuggles, and more will come later (or not) but it starts with respect and friendship. That's the glue that holds it all together. And respect starts with truthfulness. I never lie to anyone myself. If asked a question I will always answer it. If it's something I'm not ready to answer directly, yet, then I'll say so ("I'm not ready to answer that just yet"). This ^^^^^^^ is really good advice about building trust and respect. I've rushed into this a couple of times and then regretted it. But there's advice here which I will take on board. Speaking of which I would like to try sailing and I've now come up with a plan.......... "Engage " Unless I get a better offer of course....*flutters eyelashes*...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talligurl Posted August 14, 2018 Share Posted August 14, 2018 22 hours ago, BelindaN said: Well y'know, Talli has a better body. There I've said it..... It's mesh.........haha. It is all the excercise I get pole dancing. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelindaN Posted August 14, 2018 Share Posted August 14, 2018 2 hours ago, Talligurl said: It is all the excercise I get pole dancing. Any other exercise?????? Just wondering........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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