DQ Darwin Posted March 10, 2011 Share Posted March 10, 2011 This is nice to see. A plus to the establishment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quinn Morani Posted March 10, 2011 Author Share Posted March 10, 2011 Ladies and gentlemen, this thread is back in business! I respectfully BEG everyone to do as Genn Moderator requests and keep posts here on topic so that it can continue to thrive. I am going to modify the OP to bring in the OP from the original thread so that newcomers here can understand what it's all about without having to click back to the archives (unless they want to). Thank you, Genn Moderator. A million public thank yous! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DQ Darwin Posted March 10, 2011 Share Posted March 10, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dillon Levenque Posted March 10, 2011 Share Posted March 10, 2011 Thanks, Genn. Much appreciated. And I loved Quinn's 'diversity' pin collection (Keli must be pushing the 100 pic limit already). /waves to D1 and D2 (numbers assigned alphabetically). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quinn Morani Posted March 11, 2011 Author Share Posted March 11, 2011 Mags Indigo wrote: Great story Quinn, somehow though I'd love to scratch beneath that self effacing surface and see what pops up - as it were. /me coughs - I mean that in a purely intellectual way. :smileyindifferent: Just skimming over this thread and realizing that I never replied to this post before the lock. Mags, you are welcome to scratch beneath the surface any time. :smileyhappy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dillon Levenque Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 This is possibly Off Topic for this thread; I most fervently hope it does not count against its survival. My subject has to do with both my real life and my Second Life, and how in some cases Second Life can impact real life in ways that possibly no other medium can. Last night I had a long talk with a very good friend about relationships in SL versus RL and what that all means. My friend is partnered in SL and RL to the same person. That's not unheard of but in my experience it is not common; I know personally only a couple of other people who are with their RL partners in SL. I do not have a partner in SL, but I am permanently partnered in RL. There'd been a thread started earlier in the day having to with SL versus RL relationships. One of the main thrusts had to do with fidelity. If a person with an RL relationship develops an SL relationship with someone else in SL—with or without the RL partner's knowledge—is that person being unfaithful? To me, the obvious answer was "Yes". My friend felt the same way, not at all to my surprise. The difference between us in this case is that I might go ahead and enter into a serious relationship (okay, enough with the euphemisms: love affair) with someone in SL whereas my friend would never consider that. I hate to tell you this, but the previous two paragraphs are background only. I've yet to get to the point. It's next. We both wound up inworld later in the day. Sent each other some IM's about it all and then met for a chat at my friend's house. In the course of the conversation we talked about a lot of our real lives. In my case we talked about my transgendered-ness and whether that was known about in my RL family and several other things. I would NEVER have even allowed such a discusson with the people I know in real life (other than fellow TG's that I talked with in the past: I've dropped out of the scene in RL; SL is my release). After thinking today about the frankness of our conversation, I was reminded of something I'd read. A reference—I think in a novel but it might have been a biography—to someone who had just lost the last member of his nuclear family. The author called it something like "..the last person he could be truly comfortable with..". It resonated with me at the time; I have thankfully a good relationship with my siblings and I know exactly what he meant. But it seems to me that in a way Second Life can provide something very like that comfort zone. Our parents and siblings can overlook our faults, at least when they're dealing with us, just because they are our family. They will ignore the opinion of the rest of the world. Our Second Life friends have the luxury of not having to even deal with the rest of the world. They can just relate to us, person to person. I've said other places that I believe the best thing about Second Life to be its contribution to tolerance of the different. I'd not thought about how that could lead to friendships that might otherwise never have been. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quinn Morani Posted April 14, 2011 Author Share Posted April 14, 2011 Off topic for this thread? Of course not. What could possibly be more relevant to strengthening the community than a conversation about how we relate to one another and build friendships in SL? I'm so glad you posted this here. I think you've hit on something very important about SL's ability to strip away societal barriers and simply get to know a person for who they are—their character—with no preconceived notions or prejudices. As you said, it makes it easier to just relate person to person. Dillon, you and I have had conversation before about tolerance in SL, and I've said in another thread that I think one of the beautiful things about SL is the ability to become friends with people you would never have crossed paths with in RL. I just tracked down that thread and this is what I said then: "Even if I'm not personally engaged in their areas of interest within SL, I treasure the diverse friendships I've made and appreciate the glimpses those friends offer into their worlds. These are friends I'd never have made if SL wasn't exactly what it is." So your point about friendships that might otherwise never have been is spot on. At least, that's been my experience. I like getting to know the person behind the avatar. To me, that's what drives friendship. And community. Which brings us full circle to the reason this thread still exists. PS: I have it on pretty good authority that your friend appreciated the opportunity your candid conversation offered to build on a friendship, but regrets having forgotten to invite you to jump on the couch! :smileywink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lillie Woodells Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 Dillon what an awesome post! I have made my very best SL friends off of this very thread! Each of us is different and we all have our reasons for who we are, and what we do. We can reach out to each other in a more candid way because we have the protection of animonity. Still, at the same time, we're revealing ourselves as we have never done before. I've had a few different conversations with my friends online regarding our differences. With one friend we touched on how we are different from our avatars. After thinking about that conversation I wrote this: "You are your own story. You tell your story not always with words. Your story is told by your eyes, by the set of your jaw, by the lines on your face. Each line is a clue to the mystery of who you are, earned by some event in your life, inspired by true stories. Every journey, every victory, every tragedy, each love and each loss is etched on your face. Every moment makes an impact on us, making us who we are. Shaping our hearts, minds, and bodies. We become our story through choice as well as circumstances. This makes us unique and beautiful, it gives us our character." I kind of think the same thing applies to our SL personalities. Many of us, use these as an extension of ourselves that we can't project in real life, or even things we can't physically or mentally do! While some may feel that the community has not been strengthed by this thread, I have been, and MY community has been! So thank you to all who contributed. *kisses* Lillie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DQ Darwin Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 Being right in point can never be Off Topic - hugs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quinn Morani Posted April 21, 2011 Author Share Posted April 21, 2011 I am extremely happy to see this thread moved back to the "Make Friends" subforum, and I very much look forward to more stories shared by posters here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dillon Levenque Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 What a nice surprise to click on 'Make Friends' and see this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Clarence Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 Good to see this thread where it should be. /me offers you and the OP some deviled eggs with paprika - and a cat with bunny ears. They are left-overs from another thread, but I am sure you feel it is the thought that counts! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jo Yardley Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Hope I understood the subject of this topic. My story, part of it anyway. I've always been in love with history. As a little girl I found some old photos and asked my parents why on these strange black and white photos everyone and everything looked so much nicer and was told how time goes on and the world changed. I cried because I was upset that everything had gotten uglier.... well it was the 1970s, so EVERYTHING was very very ugly My interest in the past never left, I always kept looking around me wondering how things used to look, how life used to be. My family history is very very interesting and I live in a very old city. History is everywhere. I always wanted to travel back in time, I dream about time travel. I've had a pretty good life, lots of friends, did ok at school, but never really fell in love with my own era. The music and fashion my friends were obsessed with just didn't interest me very much. I've never felt at home in the time I grew up in. So eventually I decided to go retro big time and now have a vintage lifestyle. So, one day I tried SL, just out of curiosity. Being very old fashioned you can perhaps imagine I didn't see much I liked, modern music everywhere, lots of naked pixels and hanky panky, etc, etc. So I left soon after. A few years later I was given a sexy new macbook and to see what my new computer could do I tried SL again, just because I remembered it demanded a lot from a computer. SL worked fine on my new computer and seconds before leaving SL again I decided to try looking for something vintage in search. I discovered the vintage lifestyle and was hooked. Weeks later I started the 1920s Berlin project, without any building or sim managing experience whatsoever. So now I finally have my time travel machine, not perfect, not real... but a close as I can get it at the moment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venus Petrov Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quinn Morani Posted April 22, 2011 Author Share Posted April 22, 2011 Storm, thank you for the thoughtful housewarming gift in this thread's new home. While I'm not personally fond of eggs, they are appropriate for Easter and I'm very delighted to share them with the other posters here. How kind of you, thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quinn Morani Posted April 22, 2011 Author Share Posted April 22, 2011 Jo, thanks for sharing your story. I've actually always been curious about what prompted you to start the 1920s Berlin project. I visited your sim once and keep meaning to go back and explore in more depth. I know from your previous posts that you have a passion for history, and I always picture you as a sort of living history expert. I'd love to know more sometime about your vintage lifestyle and the challenges you face living that out in a modern world. I'm captivated by things that represent a simpler time and a simpler lifestyle. Truthfully, sometimes in the rat race of life I think I long for that. But then I realize it means I'd probably have to give up my gadgets, and I realize I'm probably a modern girl after all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ossian1488303077 Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 What dominated most of my life was the Search. I mean, life, the universe, everything... why we're here. Now I know that the answer is 42, but even if someone had told me long ago, I would still have had to find out on my own. Where I lived, in suburbia, there were no gurus or unusual people as far as I knew, and this was long before the internet... So I relied on the public library and occasional books I managed to buy. At that time, even though a new paperback book only cost 50 cents, until I got a job at 14 I rarely had that much money. When I was about 12, I got permission to borrow books from the Adult section (meaning the ordinary part of the library) and started reading things like The Golden Bough, Ouspensky, books about psychic research, astral projection, Edgar Cayce, yoga... anything I could get my hands on. But as far as doing anything with other people, the only available avenue was religious, so I got involved with pentacostal christians, and later (when I was old enough to drive) with some very extreme ones... but before you start imagining, I have to tell you they were not like anyone you know about. These people were mystics, quietists, and they were really far far out. It was like climbing on the Cloud of Unknowing and jumping off into the Who Knows What, trusting that something would... well, not catch you, but rather be close to you during your fall. Jumping, falling, was essential. The goal was to throw your whole life into the air and let it blow away so God could put whatever "He" wanted in its place. I tried... I really tried... but it turned out to be a leap that I couldn't take, so I pulled away. After a year of trying to digest what happened, I got involved with a group, something like a cult. It ended up being an enormous scam, but at the same time it helped me enormously. It gave me a focus, access to materials and people and information, and a way of finally figuring out the big questions that had bothered me since I was a child. Chiefly, it put me together with a large number of people who had the same questions I did, but very different histories and experiences, and we all worked together in remarkable ways. The people I knew then were just so... out of the ordinary, incredible. Even though the group was created to skin people like me, it was a net that caught people like me, so I found exactly the kind of people I was looking for and needed. And yeah, the group took a lot of money off me. I never sat down and added it all up, but I'm sure I'd faint if I did. As wrong as that was, it pushed me to get a better job and career than I would otherwise have had. It also (since it was worldwide) it gave me a way to visit and live in some unusual places I wouldn't otherwise have seen. I stayed in that group for a long time, until, after many years, I gradually drifted out of it. Most of my friends who were in it are now waging war on it, still in a way centering their lives on it, but since I left, it's hard to work up the interest... and I don't resent it, honestly. Now, I'm more interested in my family, my life, the things I'm doing now. Anyway, it feels so long ago that I can think about it without wincing. Edited to add: I decided to write about this because I think it's the last thing anyone would guess, even if they knew me fairly well -- in either RL or SL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dillon Levenque Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Thanks, Storm. Those kind of leftovers never last long enough to go bad. A Happy Easter to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dillon Levenque Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Jo Yardley wrote: Hope I understood the subject of this topic. So now I finally have my time travel machine, not perfect, not real... but a close as I can get it at the moment You understood the subject perfectly, Jo. And I like that for you SL is a time machine; it is for me now and then as well (I've even been somewhere that looks and feels astonishingly like Berlin between the wars, believe it or not). Letting yourself spend time in your imagination is a good thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jo Yardley Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 /me grins so much it hurts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dillon Levenque Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 That was fascinating, Ossian. Not least because you can overlook the fact you were being scammed since the associations you gained were so positive: Even though the group was created to skin people like me, it was a net that caught people like me, so I found exactly the kind of people I was looking for and needed. It's nice when the unintended consequences of an action by someone with less than honorable intentions turn out to be a benefit to someone else.:smileyhappy: Edited for spelling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ossian1488303077 Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Thanks, Dillon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quinn Morani Posted April 22, 2011 Author Share Posted April 22, 2011 Well, dang it. I step out for a rendezvous with a pedicure (taking advantage of our our office closing early today), and Dillon steps in and perfectly captures the essence of the very point I was going to come back and make. Ossian, what you say about your experience with this group illustrates something important about your outlook on life. You could have carried a lot of bitterness for having been scammed, but instead you take learning from it and see the positive ways the experience impacted you. Life's a strange journey sometimes, isn't it? I'm inspired by people who can make peace with the bad and focus on the good. @Dillon, I think this very thread is a case study in the positive effects of unintended consequences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dillon Levenque Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Quinn Morani wrote: @Dillon, I think this very thread is a case study in the positive effects of unintended consequences. I rather thought you might. :smileywink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quinn Morani Posted April 25, 2011 Author Share Posted April 25, 2011 Now that this thread has been returned to its original home here in the "Make Friends" forum, I'd love to see more people step forward with their stories. It's probably apparent to anyone wandering the forums that there are some good friendships between various posters here. And I know that such friendships can make it feel intimidating to jump in, when there is clearly backstory that one knows nothing about. That was certainly my experience during the many months I lurked before finally joining in the conversation. However, this thread is a good place to share some of that backstory. Friendships take root in many ways and in many places, but some of the current forum friendships were seeded by things people have learned about each other in this very thread (as well as its predecessor on the old forum, linked in the OP), and often from people who were otherwise new or infrequent posters. Nothing would make me happier than to see more such camaraderie develop among those who visit here. This thread is, of course, just one of many places in the forum and elsewhere to discover others with whom you may share something in common. But it's a friendly and welcoming stop for anyone who wishes to share a little about themselves, so that others here can get to know you a little better. I personally look forward to getting to know many more people here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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