SweetLadyMell Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 Hi all,Okay, weird weird. I just logged in and reviewed my friends list...and one name was missing. I thought he unfriended me, so i went in-world to further inverstigate and ... he was still in the friends list...Who is in the wrong? I hope the site's list, personally...Anyone have that seen yet?The reason is that we had a big argument (one of many lately, honestly) yesterday...and it went somewhat agitated. It's not going too well (anymore) between us, so i tried to patch things up...I have a lot of friends, and he wants more of me, and that I cannot give him that all the time. Eh, it's a relation thing I wanted to resolve...so I stumbled on the different friends lists...Eh, if someone wants to ramble along with me (I'm somewhat "un groomed" right now) they're welcome...Mellxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ren Toxx Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 The website's contacts list isn't quite 100% reliable (nor is the in-world one, in fact, but the website's far worse), so if you still have it in your viewer's list, that's it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetLadyMell Posted June 17, 2014 Author Share Posted June 17, 2014 Hehe, that is the answer then, and the website being worse...hmmm, oh well....goes to prove thene's nothing more reliable than a simple good in-world hug Mell xxx (still leaves the underlying question...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tari Landar Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 I don't know if they have changed this aspect, or not(although I do believe they may have). But for some time, when someone is offline to you inworld(meaning thye have that little checkbox by your name, alllowing you to see them online, not checked) the person's name did not show up in your friendslist on the website. However, the way some got around finding out if that person was really online, without going inworld themselves was to check the friends' profile on mysecondlife. The little green indicator button would show up there, even if the person was not showing as online to you inworld, or on the regular secondlife dashboard friendslist area. I wouldn't trust what the website says regardless, it's notoriously ripe with issues on and off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetLadyMell Posted June 17, 2014 Author Share Posted June 17, 2014 hmm, you've got a point Tara, nonetheless...after our arguing, I though he unfriended me... I do have to keep all this in mind in case I see a missing name and start to wonder...if it were just any friend, I'd have looked in the "glitch corner", but after last night... Thanks Mell xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sassy Romano Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 Note: it's called a contact list, not a friend list. It's worth breaking the notion of it being a friend list., it will reduce the drama quotient. I have plenty of friends who are not in that list and plenty of people in it who I do not know. Seriously, change the way you think about it, you control who your friends are, not some dumb online/offline indicator list. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetLadyMell Posted June 17, 2014 Author Share Posted June 17, 2014 @ Sassy - thanks, this is an answer that does help with the underlying drama of yesterday... Contacts versus Friends How could I have missed that nuance...thanks Mell xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drake1 Nightfire Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 Sassy Romano wrote: Note: it's called a contact list, not a friend list. It's worth breaking the notion of it being a friend list., it will reduce the drama quotient. I have plenty of friends who are not in that list and plenty of people in it who I do not know. Seriously, change the way you think about it, you control who your friends are, not some dumb online/offline indicator list. Funny, if you look at the first tab it says friends... not contacts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freya Mokusei Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 Drake1 Nightfire wrote: While you're clearly intent on missing the point of Sassy's post (which is fine), you're also reading the tab-title of that sub-form, not the title of the floater itself. The title of the floater reads: Conversations - Contacts and can be found at the top of your image, exactly where you'd expect to find it. C'mon buddy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sassy Romano Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 And above that it says contacts. Either way, my sentiment stands, I for one don't let my friends be defined by a list and the amount of drama that surrounds membership of these lists is somewhat off the scale. As I used to say to those who asked to "friend" me, "if contacting me is important, you'll remember my name, finding it in search only takes a moment". Those who forgot me, well I was never important anyway and thus being in a contact list would have made no difference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drake1 Nightfire Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 Freya Mokusei wrote: Drake1 Nightfire wrote: While you're clearly intent on missing the point of Sassy's post (which is fine), you're also reading the tab-title of that sub-form, not the title of the floater itself. The title of the floater reads: Conversations - Contacts and can be found at the top of your image, exactly where you'd expect to find it. C'mon buddy. No, I got her point. For her it is a contact list. While the main tab may say contacts the tab within the tab says Friends, which is what i use it for. It's like the clothing folder in your inventory. I have sub folders for different types of clothing. Contacts.. Friends, Groups and Contacts Sets. Personally i think the contacts sets is a silly thing as you are just organizing your "friends". If we had a separate tab next to that that said contacts it would make things easier. Having two sets of lists, one for actual friends and one for the rest (business contacts, customers, and the like.) Being able to dictate which list a person you "add" goes. hmmm, perhaps that should be a new feature. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freya Mokusei Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 Drake1 Nightfire wrote: Having two sets of lists, one for actual friends and one for the rest (business contacts, customers, and the like.) Being able to dictate which list a person you "add" goes. hmmm, perhaps that should be a new feature. There ya go. Welcome to Sassy's point. The problem isn't needing a new feature, the only problem with the current set-up is the terminology used by the viewer, and the inability to differentiate between relationship types (say, by organising them into folders) on a Contact List. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imnotgoing Sideways Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 I want to categorize my list by the quality of their butts. () Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drake1 Nightfire Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 Imnotgoing Sideways wrote: I want to categorize my list by the quality of their butts. () Yours would top any list.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetLadyMell Posted June 17, 2014 Author Share Posted June 17, 2014 Umm, guys... Werhter or not it's a friends or a contacts list is secondary to my underlyinig question: what do I do about a friend/contact that I agrue with all the time, that wants things from me I cannot always give him and starts to behave jealous ogf my other friends...and that I still like... Please dont make this any worse...as Sassy mentioned it's called a contacts list, whatever the tag ot title says, YOU determine werther those names are names of people you want to interact with...and now, one of them wants me all the way... sigh...Please font fight here ...thanks... Mell xxx Edit - "I want to categorize my list by the quality of their butts. ()" - thanks for this funny note Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sassy Romano Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 SweetLadyMell wrote: Werhter or not it's a friends or a contacts list is secondary to my underlyinig question: what do I do about a friend/contact that I agrue with all the time, that wants things from me I cannot always give him and starts to behave jealous ogf my other friends...and that I still like... This is easy to resolve, either:- 1. Delete 2. Say "Buy me new shoes daily!" If he says "NO!" (or variations of)... Delete. Sassy. (solving relationship issues since 2008) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetLadyMell Posted June 17, 2014 Author Share Posted June 17, 2014 Thanks Sassy that I need to learn: tuffen up lov' ya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drake1 Nightfire Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 SweetLadyMell wrote: Umm, guys... Werhter or not it's a friends or a contacts list is secondary to my underlyinig question: what do I do about a friend/contact that I agrue with all the time, that wants things from me I cannot always give him and starts to behave jealous ogf my other friends...and that I still like... Please dont make this any worse...as Sassy mentioned it's called a contacts list, whatever the tag ot title says, YOU determine werther those names are names of people you want to interact with...and now, one of them wants me all the way... sigh...Please font fight here ...thanks... Mell xxx Edit - "I want to categorize my list by the quality of their butts. ()" - thanks for this funny note I look at it like this, if he wants more from you than you are willing to give and refuses to accept that. Show him to the curb. like ASAP. He is acting creepy stalkerish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetLadyMell Posted June 18, 2014 Author Share Posted June 18, 2014 Well, something is strange, unless he's using a setting I dont know about, and for a reason I dont understand. He still does not show on the site - online or offline - but does show in-world. The thing is that I'd like to stay in the friends phase, he apparently wants more the "relation" phase...and I'm not ready for that... I dont want to kick him from the whitelist of my home, rfr my heart, and I'd love to settle things with him... Mell xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tari Landar Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 SweetLadyMell wrote: Well, something is strange, unless he's using a setting I dont know about, and for a reason I dont understand. He still does not show on the site - online or offline - but does show in-world. The thing is that I'd like to stay in the friends phase, he apparently wants more the "relation" phase...and I'm not ready for that... I dont want to kick him from the whitelist of my home, rfr my heart, and I'd love to settle things with him... Mell xxx As for the not seeing him on your list... Is he on your list inworld, but not showing as "online"? If that is the case, he probably has the pretty little checkbox next to your name on his list to show you he is online, empty. Meaning, he doesn't want you to know whether or not he is on or offline, at this particular time (that's my best guess, as that is what the feature did for quite some time, whenever someone would uncheck the "show online status" box-or whatever the heck they're calling it these days, the name would poof from the list on the site, but still remain inworld.) Otherwise, I have no idea, as there is no setting to magically make your name disappear from your contacts/friends lists on the site, yet remain inworld. as for the rest... talk to him. If you want it fixed, then you need to talk to him. No one can fix your problems but you, and if you truly want to resolve conflict, you're going to have to work for it, plain and simple. If he doesn't want to fix things, then parting ways, even if only temporary, may be the best for both of you. However I do want to say, before you talk about this with him, think back on to your own actions, thoughts, and words, and see if, perhaps, somewhere along the line, you gave off the impression that you could, would, or wanted to, offer more-which may be why he wants that. We always should be mindful of our own actions and words to ensure we are not giving off the wrong signals to people, which is what tends to lead to problems like you're experiencing now. It is entirely possible to have our actions or words misconstrued, but we cannot fix those misunderstandings, if we're not willing to talk about them. And before anyone goes off half-cocked about that, I am not blaming the OP, lol. I am merely saying that we contribute to our own problems, more often than not, and it takes reflection and communication to fix them...should we desire to fix them at all. Avoiding problems doesn't make them go away, and will likely only create even more confusion. If someone wants something you cannto give, make it known, don't string the problem out continuously until it blows up in your face(assuming you want to keep the friendship, that is) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetLadyMell Posted June 18, 2014 Author Share Posted June 18, 2014 hmm, well, I guess we're in a relation-situoation alreday, then. Talk has to be possible, first, I need to gain his trust. He seems to "suspect" things that are'nt there... It's all a matter of trust...and that's gone... Mell xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetLadyMell Posted June 18, 2014 Author Share Posted June 18, 2014 I know what is happening...he blocked me...I guess to take some "timeout" Tonight we spoke...all is well again... Thanks for all your kind thoughts...you're friends... Kisses Mell xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dresden Ceriano Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 Drake1 Nightfire wrote: Imnotgoing Sideways wrote: I want to categorize my list by the quality of their butts. () Yours would top any list.. Um... you haven't seem mine. :matte-motes-wink-tongue: ...Dres (No offense, Immy.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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