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Madelaine McMasters wrote:

7-23-2012
   Hippie Bowman sleeps in and is scooped my Madelaine McMasters.

7-23-2013
   Responding to increasing evidence that workplace dogs reduce stress, the US Postal Service introduces "Postal Pooches" to accompany carriers on their appointed rounds. The experiment quickly produces even stronger evidence that dogs truly don't like mailmen.

 

Whew I am here!  Sorry I am late today!  Today is July the 23rd.  Here is today in history!

 

 

 

Peace!

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Good morning all!  Today is July the 24th!  Here is today in history!

 

 

 

Peace!

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7-24-2012    On the 115th anniversary of Amelia Earhart's birth, TIGHAR researchers, hoping to find evidence that Earhart and navigator Fred Noonan landed at Nikumaroro Island,  head back to Honolulu after encountering unexpectedly difficult exploring condictions. Meanwhile, Earhart welcomes Sally Ride to the hereafter, where they both suit up and go barnstorming through the heavens.

7-24-2012    Pope Benedict XVI denies rumors that he and Joe Paterno were college fraternity brothers.

 

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LOL Maddy!  Good morning all!  Today is July the 25th!  Here is today in history!

 

 

 

 

 

Peace!

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Good morning all!  It is July the 26tjh!  Here is todays history lesson!

 

 

 

Peace!

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7-26-2016    Penn State's football program celebrates its return to bowl game eligibility by hosting "Nittany Nipple Night". Drunken students doff their school shirts and Jell-O wrestle for season tickets.

7-26-2020    The Texas State Legislature passes the United States' first mandatory concealed carry law. All Texans over the age of fourteen are required to carry semi-automatic handguns. The Texas Rangers promptly relocate to Juarez, Mexico and rename themselves the "Hombres Asustados".

 

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LOL Maddy!  Good morning everyone!  It is July the 27th!  Here is today in history!

 

 

 

 

Peace!

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7-27-2012    The great US drought of 2012 claims another victim, as online gaming company Zynga, creator of Farmville, watches both its user base and share price wither on the vine.

7-27-2012   Chik-fil-A announces an all you can eat buffet for Boy Scouts who prove they're "all man" by belching "God Bless America" in tune.

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Good morning all!  Today is July the 28th.  Here is today in history!

 

 

 

 

Peace!

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Good morning all!  Today is July the 29th!  Here is today in history!

 

 

 

 

 

Peace!

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7-29-2009    One year after joining Second Life, Wisconsin native Madelaine McMasters is berated by her widowed Mother for allowing the family estate to "go to pot". When the younger McMasters notes that the advancing greenery is "not pot Mom, it's kudzu", the elder McMasters replies "Kudzu, schmudzu! Get off your fat ass and do something about it.".  The younger McMasters immediately turns her back and escapes to her Second Life island, where her partner berates her for allowing their tropical hut to be overrun by noobs in search of sex furniture. When Ms. McMasters points out that their island has no sex furniture, her partner exclaims "Get off your fat ass and do something about it".

Kudzu House.jpg

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Good morning all!  It is July the 30th.  Here is today in History!

 

 

 

Peace!

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7-29-1956    US President Dwight "Ike" Eisenhower, unravels Harry Truman's "The Buck Stops Here" and sheds personal responsibility by signing Congress' resolution authorizing "In God We Trust" as the U.S. national motto.

7-29-2021    Daisy Outdoor Products, manufacturer of the famous Red Ryder, Carbine Action, 200 Shot, Range Model Air Rifle introduces the Rumsfeld Model One Fully Automatic 20,000 Shot, Laser Guided, BB Gun. The gun, affectionately known as the "Rummy", is capable of firing 3000 rounds per minute. Within two years, preschoolers across the US are using the Rummy to defend their lemonade stands from attack by maruading packs of hungry, pot smoking teens,  college football coaches, and priests.

7-29-2025    Fifty years to the day after vanishing from the Red Fox restaurant parking lot in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, the remains of Jimmy Hoffa are discovered under a tremendous clump of wild daisies growing in the middle of the abandoned restaurant's tarmac. Retired Detroit Police Detective Vinnie Moskowitz recalls seeing a corpse in the parking lot on the day of Hoffa's disappearance, but said "We seen so many of doze tings, we din't tink it was impotent."

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Good morning everyone!  It is July 31st!  Here is today history lesson!

 

 

 

Peace!

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7-31-2012   Half of India goes dark when Rajesh Warrior falls off the roof of an overcrowded commuter train approaching Mumbai and knocks over the small Honda generator that's been powering a large portion of the World's second most populous nation since 1991. In a hastily convened press conference intended to allay American fears that its aging and decrepit power grid might befall a similar calamitous fate, US President Barack Obama explains that this sort of freak accident is impossible in the US, where the passenger rail system is in worse shape than the power grid, and so nobody rides it.

7-31-2019    Veterinary epidemiologists discover a proponderance of abnormally large and muscular farm animals along the 2018 Tour de France route. Blood testing of the animals reveals high levels of performance enhancing drugs. Soil testing along the route unearths abnormal concentrations of the same chemicals, leading scientists to conclude that roadway runoff of cyclist's perspiration is the likely cause.

 

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LOL Maddy!  OMG!  

Good morning all!  Today is August the 1st.  Here is today in history!

 

 

 

Peace!

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Good morning all!  It is August the 2nd!  Here is today in history!

 

 

 

 

Peace!

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8-2-2012    Ignoring that the expulsion of eight badminton players from the Olympic games for throwing matches to face easier opponents in future rounds marked the strategy as a failure, the United States decides to play to lose against China in the race for world economic supremacy, with the hope of going up against Brazil, India, Russia or hopefully Canada, at some later date.

8-2-2013    CIA operatives reveal the most sinister terrorist plot to date when they infiltrate a madrasah in western Pakistan where young men and women are taught to use cell phones to text unsuspecting western teens as they drive in their cars. The ramshackle classrooms are filled with mimeographed "1337 pr0n" dictionaries. One year earlier, the US National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) announced that texting while driving was the number one cause of teenage deaths.

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Good morning all!  It is August the 3rd.  Here is today history lesson!

 

 

 

 

Peace!

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8-3-2012    In a last minute attempt to ensure gold in the Olympic 100 meter sprint with a sub 9.4 second goal, Jamaican runner Usain Bolt, having just witnessed Sarah, an 11-year-old cheetah, clock the 100m in 5.95 seconds at the Cincinnati Zoo, decides to have Sarah chase him during practice.

8-4-2012    One day after the ignominious start of Usain Bolt's cheetah training, Olympic officals deny a request by the US Track and Field team to allow Bolt to "carry" Sarah in the 100m sprint, stating that "Residing inside the stomach of a cheetah does not constitute carrying."

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Good morning all!  Today is August the 4th.  Here is today in history!

 

 

 

 

 

Peace!

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