Jump to content

If you have a problem. If no one else can help....

Richtea57

By Richtea57,
in General Discussion Forum

 Share
You are about to reply to a thread that has been inactive for 3361 days.

Please take a moment to consider if this thread is worth bumping.

Recommended Posts

Richtea57

Richtea57

Posted
Posted

If you can find them, and if they're not too pissed or hungover to answer the phone, maybe you can hire.....

Me an' my mate, Dave.

We're setting ourselves up in business as a, very slightly, less definitive version of Google or Wiki.

Between us, we reckon we can blag our way around, and come up with a solution to any given problem. Also, we offer fashion tips, (we are quite the hep cats), medical advice, emotional counselling, therapy, psychiatric assessments, along with cooking tips, gardening tips, racing tips, PG tips, tupperware tips and tips about taps.

Although we will, eventually, be charging thirty bob a pop for each answer, or for each minute, this will be a totally not-for-profit venture, any monies that we get will be immediately pissed up the wall.

Me an' Dave have different, but complementary, areas of expertise, so we feel we have everything covered. For instance, having read as many as seven books of various colours, with at least one of them in hardback, litar litterat, stuff that people wrote, would be a particularly strong point for me.....and Dave's from Cleethorpes.

He also has an Aunt in Bognor Regis, (although she doesn't talk to him after the aubergine and her Airedale terrier affair), so he's got geography sorted.

We had that woman from Relate in, the other week,(tall one, with a wooden leg and Deirdre Barlow spectacles), she was after a bit of advice, as her marriage was going down the jacks. Anyway, after empathetically listening to her whine on for ten minutes or so, Dave splashed on a bit of the old Brut, pulled on his best Farrah slacks and cheesecloth, took her down the Dog And Duck for a few games of darts,(501, double in), two packets of Walkers crinkle-cut and six pints of Bailey's and Pernod, followed by a ruby and a night at the Leamington Travelodge.

She hasn't been back since, so we're assuming she's another satisfied customer

Link to comment
Share on other sites
KarenMichelle Lane

KarenMichelle Lane

Posted
Posted

 

Oh thank Heavens. Can you both help my bar groupies and I with this brain teaser problem we have been debating over for years now?

The Two Envelopes Problem

Premise: Of two indistinguishable envelopes, each containing money, one contains twice as much as the other.

The subject may pick one envelope and keep the money it contains.
Having chosen an envelope at will, but before inspecting it, the subject gets the chance to take the other envelope instead.
What is the optimal rational strategy for maximising the amount of money to be gained?

Base Conclusion: There is no point at all in switching envelopes as the situation is symmetric.

The Twist: However, the story now introduces the so called switching argument that shows that it is more beneficial to switch.

The Problem: Show what is wrong with this argument.

After a few drinks we just give up and go swimming in our guacamole....

Link to comment
Share on other sites
LlazarusLlong

LlazarusLlong

Posted
Posted

zomg! Carole's dropped the Gorean Grannie persona, had a sex change, and is doing the forum agony aunt thing again.

[by the way, we know Dave is a figment of your imagination and just someone to blame when the lawyers come calling.]

However, since you're here, can you help? Yesterday I was driving to work and about half a mile from home my drive shaft failed; I walked back to the house and when I got back I found my wife in bed with both the milkman and the postman.

Now, my question is, do you know a good reliable garage which does Ford repairs in the Milton Keynes area?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
LlazarusLlong

LlazarusLlong

Posted
Posted

KarenMichelle Lane wrote:

 

The Twist:
However, the story now introduces the so called switching argument that shows that it is more beneficial to switch.

The switching argument relies on a revision of assessment of outcomes which denies the existence of a previous assessment of outcomes, and is therefore null.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
LlazarusLlong

LlazarusLlong

Posted
Posted

Dresden Ceriano wrote:

Are you hiring?

...Dres  (Or are you suggesting that ultra-perverted, homosexual activity is part of either of your or your
alter-ego
counterpart's vast knowledge base.  After all... that is my area of expertize.)

Don't limit yourself Dres. You could be the boys' consultant on year-long Mardi Gras celebrations.

[They don't have much experience of them in Cleethorpes.]

Link to comment
Share on other sites
DejaHo

DejaHo

Posted
Posted

Richtea57 wrote:

Ah, you see,
it's Dave that does the geography
. 

Oh, I have a couple of questions for Dave that have been troubling me for the longest time.

Did Tennessee the same thing that Arkansas? 

And did Delaware her New Jersey?

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
LlazarusLlong

LlazarusLlong

Posted
Posted

Caitlin Tobias wrote:

So a question for you, Richtea, and I am guessing this is in your field od expertise and not Daves:

Which biscuit is best for dunking?

Caity, Caity, Caity!

Why waste a critical discussion topic on a portmanteau thread such as this. And don't you dare go and ask them over in Answers!

This question deserves a whole Friday thread of its own.

[For our colonial friends "biscuit" is real English for what you call a "cookie".]

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Caitlin Tobias

Caitlin Tobias

Posted
Posted

LlazarusLlong wrote:

Caitlin Tobias wrote:

So a question for you, Richtea, and I am guessing this is in your field od expertise and not Daves:

Which biscuit is best for dunking?

Caity, Caity, Caity!

Why waste a critical discussion topic on a portmanteau thread such as this. And don't you dare go and ask them over in Answers!

This question deserves a whole Friday thread of its own.

[For our colonial friends "biscuit" is real English for what you call a "cookie".]

Oops.....I may post it again tomorrow and perhaps I could then also mention the Bourbon, which I do not like but are always in the majority in those packs with 'assorted' biscuits.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
LlazarusLlong

LlazarusLlong

Posted
Posted

Caitlin Tobias wrote:

LlazarusLlong wrote:

Caitlin Tobias wrote:

So a question for you, Richtea, and I am guessing this is in your field od expertise and not Daves:

Which biscuit is best for dunking?

Caity, Caity, Caity!

Why waste a critical discussion topic on a portmanteau thread such as this. And don't you dare go and ask them over in Answers!

This question deserves a whole Friday thread of its own.

[For our colonial friends "biscuit" is real English for what you call a "cookie".]

Oops.....I may post it again tomorrow and perhaps I could then also mention the Bourbon, which I do not like but are always in the majority in those packs with 'assorted' biscuits.

You can mail me your spare bourbons, I love 'em!

Just address the package to "The ASBO Man hanging around the outside of the Milton Keynes Shopping Centre he is banned from."

[Plus ca change . . . eh!]

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Richtea57

Richtea57

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Caitlin Tobias wrote:

So a question for you, Richtea, and I am guessing this is in your field od expertise and not Daves:

Which biscuit is best for dunking?

I want to sound all posh and fancy and say something along the lines of Hob Nob, but the truth is it's got to be the reliable Richtea. A Digestive has a far better soaking quality, but that is seriously offset by its fragilty. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
You are about to reply to a thread that has been inactive for 3361 days.

Please take a moment to consider if this thread is worth bumping.

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...