Luna Bliss

I know a guy who was hiding away his talents as a musician. He began cautiously giving concerts in SL, received much affirmation and praise, and with his newfound confidence was able to take it to RL where he ended up performing all over the world.

I designed a couple of sims for those experiencing DID (dissociative identity disorder, formerly known as multiple personality disorder), and led a support group at one of these as well. It amazed me how some experiencing this condition would become aware of formerly unknown parts of themselves via their SL experiences where these parts were free to come out and 'be'. Integration requires visibility, whether in RL or SL, and so SL functioned as a source of integration for them that transferred to RL -- integration of those lost parts that became hidden in themselves due to experiencing such trauma in their past.

I think that's an admirable goal -- helping others like yourself who are not neurotypical. And it's brave of you to be so open about it, because as you know, people will call you names and try to take advantage of you, or troll you (as we all witnessed with the griefer who was doxxing you on the forum repeatedly). I see you demonstrating perfectly how people can heal or affirm themselves via uncovering their hidden parts and 'coming out'...whether they reveal themselves only to you or decide to come out publicly. In either case, it's a step moving away from the shame foisted on you by a society that often does not understand those who are different from the norm. And to be clear, I'm not saying anyone should do this, with this condition or any other, or that it's not okay to hide any facet of ones life one chooses to keep private -- I'm only pointing out the potential of SL and how some take advantage of this opportunity in order to change or be more 'who they are'. Of course I'm speaking to those who experience SL more as an immersionist (they are not strictly roleplaying or treating SL as only a game).

This is how you, personally read it. Many other native speakers read it otherwise. I'll just say English can be tricky and leave interpreting what is "correct" or "incorrect" to those with strong opinions. I think an interesting question is more "why do some people choose one meaning over the other"? For example, why were you offended (taking it personally) with his opening paragraph while I did not feel offended? Perhaps I wasn't offended because I've actually known a lot of people who do hide in SL, and although I wondered if he was believing more people hide than actually do, and so projecting a bit, I never thought he would not consider or be open to the fact that other people are different than he is. *Perhaps you only read this one thread...perhaps only the first post (as you seemed not to see his 2nd post where he clarified by saying he didn't mean EVERYone), whereas I have read more of his words from a couple of threads, and he just doesn't seem like an imposing person. And so, that is another reason why I didn't think he was ruling out all other perspectives with his OP.

Yes, that is the most important thing...to arrive at an understanding. However I stand by my statement that many on this forum are too picky (this does not mean you specifically, but apparently you took it this way even though I said "there are way too many people on this forum who are overly picky") I wish you had read the OP's 2nd post on this thread where he clarified he did not mean EVERYbody, and then we would not have had to discuss it again. My main point in bringing it up was to point out that there really is no difference between his language and the English language in this regard -- I didn't want to leave him with an incorrect perception of the English language.

I was way too nice. There are way too many people on this forum who are overly picky and pedantic, looking with a microscope in order to find something to criticize another over. * I will add that it takes time for people to trust a stranger, and so they are more likely to assign a 'less than positive' meaning to someone unknown. Most likely a known forum member could have gotten away with what Wili said -- they would have given the poster the benefit of the doubt as to whether their feelings were also being taken into account.

People do express themselves in the U.S. in the way you're describing, and for the life of me I don't understand why some on the forum don't get it. For example, just the other day I saw an article in, I think it was theAtlantic, and the title was "why were we so mean to Brittany Spears". Well, I never thought I was mean to her, and only assumed perhaps quite a few people were. Another example...people will write articles on "why Americans love baseball". Well, I hate sports and never watch them though I am indeed an American, yet I never thought they were meaning me specifically with their statement. I could think of a million examples. But...you are here on the forum...so good you learn the perspective of all people, and most especially those on the forum where you are trying to communicate...for a complete understanding of this (hopefully soon to be gone) mess.

Since the substance of your first post on the forum simply trashes another I have a strong feeling you are the perfect example of your stated adage.

He's fresh meat for the Borg....LOL

He clarified in his 2nd post though. In his 2nd post he said: "I did really reveal myself to my community and that has helped me on so many levels. I hope what I did with disclosure helps someone. Those that this is useful to will probably not post any comment about it but I believe my message can influence many people positively."

That is not what is implied by your opening post. You said: You did not qualify that statement or any of the statements before that with anything like "if you are one who hides or feels like they need to hide, then .......". Your words simply implied that everyone is hiding behind their avatar. He clarified in his 2nd post though. In his 2nd post he said: "I did really reveal myself to my community and that has helped me on so many levels. I hope what I did with disclosure helps someone. Those that this is useful to will probably not post any comment about it but I believe my message can influence many people positively."

You and the rest of the Borg needs a good spanking! lol

So true...it's variable...and worth examining. For example, if my perception of them changed via phone contact then it's an opportunity to examine the possible projection I had built up about them. Likewise, if someone's perception of me changed I'd want to know why -- I'd want to know what possible 'unreality' they had built up about me. Great opportunities for learning! It's also interesting that somewhere in our unconscious mind we developed a kind of 'voice' for them without much awareness of it, only becoming aware of it when it didn't match for us.

Bruh, I can't even tell if you're serious or not. The OP has a giant tik tok that says "Becoming a CEO DAY 2" on it! So are you saying the only reason he is posting here is to advertise his business? Am I only posting on this forum to advertise my business because I have a clickable link under my posts leading to my store?

Also a thinly veiled advertisement. Where's your proof...that he is advertising? Just because he has a successful business so many in SL would aspire to?

Yes, that's how I experience SL too. I think the difference, and especially meaningful and worthy of examination for those who 'hide', is the meaning they are assigning to the physical aspects of any world. For many, the physical aspects of reality are paramount, while for others the emotional aspects are.

I didn't at all. I'm saying exactly what I said: Because he experienced something that had meaning to him doesn't mean we should all follow his lead. Because ultimately.....we aren't here for the same reasons. Really, Janet...you don't think your following paragraph is dissing him at all? Give me a break. "Oh, I get it. So by challenging yourself to show your face, you're literally unburdening yourself of the belief systems society has imposed upon you. Therefore, freeing yourself to unlock the full potential of yourself, which would ultimately make you a better person because you've now taken yourself out of your comfort zone by engaging in a challenge issued by a stranger on the internet. Gotcha. See the thing about challenges are they're kind of odd and childish and don't really prove anything. There's the Tide pod challenge, the cinnamon challenge....I can keep going. How about you just make the choice to do better and be better, like you can do every morning when you wake up?"

I seen more of that when I was younger and in school.. Also when I was dating or in that kind of atmosphere.. But honestly, and I don't know if this is everywhere or not.. But for the most part, a lot of people, like especially at work, Give way too much information.. Especially guys.. hehehe I don't know, maybe it's me and they feel like, Hey i can tell her anything, heck lets tell her everything.. hehehehe All I know is , more than I have wanted to , I've had to tell people, That was way too much information!! \o/ Yes, people certainly do have differing needs for privacy, and often they don't jibe. What I see as a primary problem though, and one the OP is addressing, occurs if one feels like they can't be themselves because they think nobody would like them. If you do experience yourself in this way then a kind of 'coming out' is often necessary where you take back your power -- learn to be yourself no matter what other people think. Of course if people are playing SL on more of a fantasy level this might not apply, but the OP is not relating to SL in this way -- he is relating to SL in more of a 'real' way.

I don't think you should discount that this meant something to him -- it's kind of cruel the way you're attempting to invalidate his experience. Now insofar as he is imagining others are 'hiding' in the same way he has been hiding -- he's projecting, and yeah that's something we could confront him about, and many are doing so by describing just how they experience this whole thing. But no...please stop dissing him for his own experience and how he's happy about the change, as it is valid to him.

It's also been discovered that some people just don't want to have to sick their pack of big ole killer dogs on some stranger that shows up standing in their yard staring, that happens to be from the intranets.. hehehe lol...I hear you there. I've had a stalker. But I'm really talking about real life here, and on a psychological level, although of course this often does extend to SL.

Mother Earth is a Socialist don't you know...

Well, it has been discovered through Psychology that most people feel if others knew their real self, at the deepest core, they would not be loved. That's really sad when you think of it. And so people hide, in one way or another. Life really is, on one level, about learning to be who you are and accepting that.

How cute! I mean that is just cuteness overload...lol.