Beth Macbain

I have a million utterly filthy ideas of how to ask this question, but I'll be good and just inquire as to what you do now.

I switched careers midstream. I fell into my first one, and did it for years until I finally realized I just freaking hated every single freaking miserable freaking second of it. Working in a pharmacy is a particular hell on earth and stressful beyond belief. I was moving to another state, and took a chance to try something different even though I had a (pharmacy) job waiting for me with a company I was completely vested in. Best damn thing I've ever done. I had absolutely no idea that taking a very low paying job in an interesting industry would turn into my second career in the nonprofit world. I did briefly go back to the for profit world and it was just as miserable as I remembered. Never again. It doesn't matter, though, what the jobs are, or the sectors, etc... what matters is taking the chance to try something new. You never know if something will be magical for you, or hell for you, until you try it. You might have to try several times and restart several times. I love what I'm doing right now, but I'm also pretty burnt out because I've been doing pretty much the exact same thing for almost 14 years now. I'm not sure, even at 50, that this is my final form. I'm not discounting the possibility of quitting this job, moving to another country, and trying something completely different. You have to keep a roof over your head, so you can't do it as flippantly as I first jokingly suggested, but never let a miserable job hold you back from finding your bliss. You will never look back on life and think, "gee, I wish I'd worked harder at that soul-sucking cubicle job." Get your resume all nice and shiny and send anywhere that looks interesting to you even if it's not even close to what you're doing now. You never know what'll happen and it just could be a HUGE turning point towards happiness and fulfillment!

I think that in the minds of men, and some women, the truck jokes, or kill/bang jokes, or bacon jokes, are the equivalent of all women liking pink, or all women cry and stuff themselves with ice cream when they have a breakup, or all women are dramatic and catty, etc., etc., etc. Gender stereotypes are bad on either side. I can't get angry at a man for making a joke about how women always have to go to the bathroom together if I don't also get mad at some woman for making a joke about how all men love trucks, bacon, killing things, and sexing things.

It was well-intended, and I do know there were men who were absolutely shocked when they were able to see the vastness of the problem. However, many women took it way, way too far and it became less about "this is a wide spread problem and most women have been a victim" to "with the vast number of women who are victims, there must be an equally vast number of men who are the worst and we should burn them all!" And not in the fun way that Maddy burns people. To me, the movement pretty much lost all credibility when the mess about Asia Argento came out. Women were using #metoo as a way to get publicity, and if that wasn't gross enough, some like Asia were using it to cover their own predatory behavior.

Same. I tried to search for it last night as well and didn't find it. If you're taking and posting pics to get little stars, you're going to be disappointed. Also, it's not "voting"... it's simply saying "I like your photo." I started on Flickr in 2013, and I don't think I've ever gotten even 100 stars on any photo. I don't care. I refuse to play the game that others play. I follow those who take pics that I like. I scroll through when I have time and give some stars. 100 or 1000 stars gets me nothing. They're absolutely meaningless. There are no rankings or prizes. And because of those who are playing the game, the number of stars a photo gets has no correlation to the quality of a photo.

We did get super far off course here, but I don't believe that really started until... no, wait, let me go check to make sure... hold please... Oh. Well. Huh. What do you know, the first swipes were taken by women commenting on how men only want two things... to kill things and to bang things. I believe that started things down the path of us vs. them, and isn't that a shame? Could have been a nice discussion where men were actively encouraged to share the things that they love about SL as well as things they wish existed, or how from their perspective SL could be better marketed towards men. Instead here we are, fussing as usual, getting nowhere, and we certainly haven't found anything that we could take to LL to suggest ways to attract the male audience. I apologize, gentlemen, for those who went with the original snide remarks, and for my part in the brouhaha that didn't need to happen.

Perhaps the topic should be changed to "Making SL More Welcoming to the Type of Males We Women Want" because as much as I'd love to see more men in SL, it would suck if they were all like Donald Trump, Boris Johnson, Sean Hannity, Matt Lauer, Harvey Weinstein, Tucker Carlson, Les Mooves, Louis CK, Woody Allen, etc., etc., etc., et al, ad infinitum...

I thought we had reached the point where we all agreed that generalizations are bad. At this point, as a certified card-holding feminist AND a certified card-holding man lover, I'm amused at the gentlemen in this thread who are so incredibly butt-hurt over what is essentially the same type of flippant, casual gender-biased treatment women have been experiencing for... well, forever, really, so you'll have to excuse the general lack of sympathy from the females of the species who have lived with this sort of thing since the day we entered the world. Suck it up, buttercups. That doesn't make it right but, you know, welcome to our world. You guys should just sit there and smile and look pretty while we women tell you what's best for you. #thatsajoke This thread has not been man-bashing. The point was made, and ignored, that women in RL and SL want respect. Some men are idiots and treat women like dirt. Most men do not. Some women are idiots and treat men like dirt. Most women do not. The first time Maddy set me on fire, I was horrified and offended to my core. I was about to report her when someone let me in on truth that when Maddy sets someone on fire, she's really just saying "I love you." The vast majority of men I meet in SL are freaking awesome-sauce. I have also met several men who should probably be institutionalized and/or locked in jail. I'm going to call out that behavior just the same as I'm going to call out women for their awful behavior. I've been accused of selling out my gender because I love and will defend men so much. On the whole, I adore the male gender and prefer their company to women. But holy crap, the ones that are awful are really awful and they do taint the male gender. If guys don't like it, then do something about the ones who should be an embarrassment to you.

Hi Gopi -Don’t listen to all the naysayers! Jump up, flip off your boss, and take the chance! Follow your heart and all that stuff!

I sometimes wonder if the mods get to work on Monday mornings, open the forums, see a topic that had like 10 responses on Friday when they left work that now has hundreds of responses, and just think, “Damn it...” Sorry, guys. 😬

I thought you liked it when the temp gets hot as hell...

Do you think maybe that’s part of it? SL is a safe place for women to stand up for themselves because we do outnumber the men and if it gets to be too much, we can literally shut it down by closing SL?

It’s all a part of life, isn’t it? We see someone that interests us for one reason or another, we say “hi” and go from there. Sometimes it doesn’t go beyond that, sometimes it’s a fun conversation with a stranger on a bus you never see again, sometimes they become an awesome friend, and sometimes they end up becoming the love of your life. Everything starts with saying hello. It’s literally a greeting - the way to greet another human. I don’t think it’s fair for me to assume every man who says hello to me wants to bang me, but I do take it as a compliment that there was something about me that made them take the opportunity to say hi. And, yes, I do IM men first a lot of the time. Sometimes I start by just saying hello, sometimes it’s something more. I wouldn’t be with my fella now if I hadn’t relentlessly pursued him because he was not interested in romance with me. Hello is innocent. It’s the next line that’s dangerous.

I am!! Kidding! 😝

I’ve had tons of internet arguments where it has gotten just rancid, but at some point takes a turn. It’s not ever happened, I don’t think, where we’ve changed each other’s minds, but plenty of times where it has ended with listening to each other’s points and concluding that neither of us coming from a bad place even though we are passionately on different sides. I use Twitter when I really want to get down in the mud. I love to argue politics, abortion, gun control, religion and like to pick someone as far opposite me as possible. More often than not, it’s just a screaming match, which can be cathartic, but there have been a surprising number of times we’ve ended up shaking hands at the end.

I was just curious. When I hear the term roleplay I automatically think it’s going to be sexual. Since I don’t RP, I actually have no idea if it’s sexual or not.

I really wanted to say argument, but thought saying debate would be a bit nicer. I love a good fight. I don’t set out to start them, but I don’t hesitate to speak up when I disagree with someone and don’t back down because I do find it enjoyable, especially when people get it all out and then start finding solutions or commonalities. Yeah, I’m weird.

Question-When you say “roleplay,” do you mean sex, or actually creating characters and making a storyline, etc?

I forget sometimes that not everyone enjoys a heated debate like I do. 🙁

I think, and I could be wrong, that what he was trying to say was something like, “Good try with that ‘no, you’ type of defense.” There are grammatical mistakes that don’t really make a difference, and then there are the ones that make a sentence virtually indecipherable. This was one of those.

But it’s fun to fight with the fellas! 😜

We all know, as do you, that everyone wants different things. In general, though, it’s a pretty safe assumption that women want to be treated as respected equals.

It’s three men acting like jackasses. I won’t give these dudes credit for destroying humanity.

No thesis necessary when your entire post can be summed up in one word - bullsh*t. Yet here you are...