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Angelique LaFollette

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About Angelique LaFollette

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  1. Madelaine, and Ganelon: The whole reason alternative lifestyles use the term "Vanilla', a Flavor, and Yes, a Popular one is it IS a Flavor. There is no such thing as a right or wrong flavor. One cannot argue the ethical or moral character of a flavor. It is what it is. Some people like it, some don't. Nothing wrong with that, Just differing tastes and preferences. It's about as non-insulting as any label can be (And given many of the labels the alternative lifestyles have had to bear over the years, Vanilla is actually very complimentary). No, it's not intended to be pejorative but people ARE sensitive to labels in general, Others will always see them in their worst possible interpretation. It may also be a new experience for a lot of people who have always considered themselves "Normal' to realize that a label, ANY label could be applied to them, and they see it in the same light as the labels THEY tend to apply to others. After all is said though, Whatever the reason, there IS a segment of society who find the appellation "Vanilla' offensive when applied to people, and I would rather err on the side of caution since this IS a more or less public forum. Angel.
  2. Syo Emerald wrote: Yes, I know what you mean. Vanilia downrates the people who get labled with it. Its like people with exotic kinks or just very different likes say everything other is boring, mainstream, deep like a puddle and absolutly less worth than what they have. :matte-motes-confused: I told myself after Syo's post if his opinion was shared by enough people on the Forum, i would in future eschew use of the term. I think I've read enough, so you all have my promise, As long as my own, and other's lifestyles are respected in the same way here, I shall return in kind and no longer use the term "Vanilla' Ganelon, Do you care to join me in this? Angel.
  3. Sammantha, I wrote a somewhat different response to you than this one I'm posting now, But as i applied Your point of view to my own situation, and relationships over the years I have to concede your point, and I Feel no shame in doing so. Even the woman that I Force collared, accepted the collar becase, even though being owned by One person was not something she initially desired, I had EARNED, and she has Granted me the Autority to do so. All my Girls, however they came to me had and have One thing in Common. I Love them with all my heart. I do, very much take my Lifestyle to heart, I've been in it RL since i was 16. I care for those who have put thier trust in me, But i'm going to Confess that i have probably fallen prey to a certain arrogance, and i Thank YOU for the Reality Check. I always said We as Dominants, and submissives are Two sides of the same coin, Each filling a need in the other. In future i shall Remember that more readily. Angel.
  4. Syo Emerald wrote: I know its not part of the topic itself....but I'm not sure if I would like to called "vanilla" just because I'm not into selling my whole existance to someone or treat someone like he or she is under my level. :matte-motes-bored: The term "Vanilla' isn't primarily a D/s usage, you will find it in Most alternative lifestyles and is generally used to describe strict hetrosexuality, with no more "Flavour" than a few alternative positions. It's used in Lieu of the terms "Normal' or "Mainstream" mainly because these terms are very inaccurate descriptions as the number of people with "Kinks' or alternative sexual practices far outweight these sort of people, so they can Hardly be described using either term. Also use of the term "Normal' suggests that anyone With an alternative sexual practice or desire is somehow "Abnormal", A far more pajorative interpretation that people in alternative lifestyles no longer choose to accept . Vanilla is suggesting a position in a spectrum of "Flavours" that is perhaps a more basic one, but by no means the Only one. The problem here is it's Always been hard to come up with a description that will satisfy everyone, I'm sure we would all be happier if we could just accept one another without need for labels, but as long as people feel the need to deliniate the differences between "Us" and "Them", there will always be disagreement on the most appropriate ones.
  5. Sammantha Koppel wrote: It really isn't so hard for most submissives to find our way safely. Most of us have working brains. We know what (if anything) we are looking for just as dominants know what they are looking for. A submissive absolutely decides to whom they will submit. A dominant can't just choose who will submit to them! People choose each other. It doesn't matter if it's a D/s relationship or not. I did not suggest that Subs did not have thier own brains in this matter, But over the years i have spent months, or years repairing the damage done to subs (Yes even experienced ones) by the Dominants they chose to submit to, only to find themselves being systematicly torn down. Head and heart don't always pull in the same direction. When i was Practicing the lifestyle in "The Sims Online" years ago, it was a relatively compact group, and almost all Lifestylers IRL. It wasn't a game. But over the last five or six years in SL with the slow turning of D/s into a Role Play game we've seen an influx of persons who don't take the lifestyle for the Art, and Commitment it is. It doesn't mean they cannot be charming, or even compelling, but it Does mean they don't see serious D/s for what it is, Nor do they take it seriously enough to feel thier responsibilities, and live up to them. I've heard far to many times "It's just a Game" From Dominants who have harmed subs and slaves who were looking for a real commitment. Experienced subs have an easier time negotiating this minefield. Thier training, and experiences with thier own Dominant as well as thier exposure to other Dom/mes while in collar, whether good or bad will have will have armed the experienced sub with the perceptions to choose effectively (But remember, experience is not a 100% armor against being deceived). NEW subs, those exploring the lifestyle for the first time DO need to be very cautious, and I usually reccomend they seek the councel of more experienced subs, or Dom/mes who are recognized in a given community as trustworthy mentors. Sammantha, it's true a sub may choose to submit to me, may decide it quite emphaticly in fact that they WILL belong to me (And this has happened to me many many times in the past), But, I, as the Dominant will be looking for several things in a sub (I could list several firm traits, as well as suggest an extensive list of intangables that I look for), Traits i find desirable in general, But i am ALSO looking for "red flags" (And this is something i always urge subs to do as well when seeking a Dominant) that warn me a sub will likely be unsuitable. The filter I use is very fine, because each sub is an investment in time, planning, care, and affection. The D/s relationship a deep symbiosis that will, when done correctly enrich the lives of both Dom/me and sub to a degree most vanilla relationships can't ever come close to. Ultimately however, it will be the Dom/me, who will decide, even if the sub is very willing, even eager, whether there will be a relationship or not. I could tell you stories upon stories of my own experiences as a Mistress (RL and OL). The sub who was Given to me, by a Master, who cared more for her wellbeing than his own selfish desires (She served me for five years). The sub who laughed at me when I told her quite reasonably that I would own her one day (She's worn my collar for over almost six years now). The sub I basicly forced into my service to protect her from herself (Over six years now). here was even one I Trained so well on-line that when she went RL as a sub, her new Master found it hard to believe she had never served RL before. In each case, these were and ARE all Intelligent, Strong willed (and at times rebellious) women that I selected. I mentioned before that I look for certain traits in my girls, I'll sum it up in Three words. I Train Tigers. Kelly May, When i Interact with people outside the lifestyle i treat them for what they are. I don't "Try anything" as such, But as a Dominant, a certain amount of control is in my nature, But that control is over MYSELF, not those around me. I'm confident, and calm, and i demonstrate a greater self control, by being in all situations courteous, Never losing my temper. After all, How can one master others when one cannot master ones self? By "TRY anything" people are referring to those rude or Outgoing Dom/mes trying to treat Everyone they meet as a slave. They never think if they are attracted to, or "Intregued' (I love that word) by someone, That they are feeling the personality of a Real Dom/me. If you read my profile in SL, you will first see a quote "Discourtesy is unspeakably ugly to me" Followed by a verse from the Song "Moon over Bourbon Street" My Picks,, all women I love, or who serve me are all described in Song Lyrics that have personal meaning to me. Even my Group memberships give no indication of my Lifestyle. Being what i AM however things do come out in conversation. Talk of "My girls' or more commonly "My Babies" raises a few eyebrows. There are the inevitable questions, which i answer directly, But i then return to the conversation at hand, and say no more about it. Being matter of fact, and Not making an issue of it myself is my way of trying to put people at ease. I'm not the sort who tries to "Rule the room' or be a "Conversation Crusher". I've always found such behaviour Boorish. I don't think my lifestyle is for everyone, but i DO think even if people aren't in it they can learn from it. What i want them to learn from me is the Grace and Artistry our lifestyle represents. Angel.
  6. I'm a Domme of many many years experience. By nature i'm friendly, helpful and outgoing with people in general. I am definately a social animal. i DO tend to be reserved with other Dom/mes, But that is the nature of our kind, Like poker, it's best not to show ones full hand. With subs and slaves who are the property of another, I am polite, cordial, but again, somewhat reserved. I must always remember that i am dealing with the "Extension" of another Dominant, and one always has ones reputation to consider, and gaining a reputation as a "Poacher" is definately NOT desirable. With Unattatched subs, and slaves I am concerned, helpful, and at times rather protective. I guide, and advise, But i am careful to not give the impression that i am "Scouting" them for my own household, because i am not currently seeking additional service. I know the number of people out there calling themselves "Master' or "Mistress' who are completely unworthy of the title so i Know how hard it is for subs or slaves to find thier way safely, and as a Mistress i DO have to occasionally discourage subs or slaves who are not fully aware that it is We, the Dominants who do the choosing, It is the place of the sub, or slave to make themselves desirable, and wait to be chosen. When interacting with people outside the lifestyle, it's been my experience that it is They, who are reserved around ME. I believe many have had experience with loud, aggressive or arrogant Dominants who lack in any of the social graces, and are, when they realize what I am, somewhat intimidated, Expecting me to attempt perhaps adding them to my "Stable" Interpersonal relationships for the Dominant OR the submissive can be very complex. I try where ever possible to put people at thier ease around me. Angel
  7. Storm Clarence wrote: The U.S. has never defaulted; we have an impeccable credit rating. Ok, Two points here,, First it hasn't defaulted "YET", But if things continue unabated, it eventually and inevitably will. Second, it's "Impeccable credit rating" has already been downgraded once. Cracks are beginning to show. We are accountable to the world bank - who do you think funds this institution? Unemployment has been extended for years - people have been receiving checks for years for not working isn't that accountability? Well considering the Chinese hold between a quarter and a third of your national debt I'd say it's THEY who are funding that Institution indirectly by shoring up the US, and again, they have warned that it cannot continue indefinately. All the cheques written to cover these debts are being written with borrowed money. Eventually SOMEBODY is going to demand payback. What then? Will the US elect to submit to the same levels of foreign regulation and control the Greeks are being asked to accept? At present, i think not. No other world power has ever reached the 'development' point that the U.S. has attained in it's very very short history ergo the U.S. is setting the precedent. Let the U.S. not make the same mistakes that 3000 yr. old Greece are making. Immigration, education, innovation, and the defeat of terrorism is how the U.S. will survive over the next 50 years. On the contrary, EVERY empire in history has stretched the limits of territorial influence, and economic and technological innovation. And every empire in history, has eventually surpassed thier ability to cover this expansion with it's available resources. If you read documents from the Roman Senate on the subject of foreign aid, Infrastructure maintenance, government debt, insurgency, immigration, or ANY other problem faced by the United States today, you will be amazed at the similarity of the political concerns and responses. Same holds true for the parlimentary records of the British Empire as it approached the inevitable downturn facing it. The U.S. IS making the same mistakes the Greek empire made 3000 years ago, Only the Scale is larger, and the time frame shorter, as Each successive empire has gone from inception to peak to collapse in successively shorter intervals. You demonstrate a great deal of national pride, and well you should. America has reached peaks No other world body has attained before, BUT if they keep the course they are on, thier fall will be equally impressive. I Know it's a sore subject with a lot of people, but History is an unmerciful B*tch Those who forget the errors of the past are doomed to repeat them. Angel.
  8. Whenever I Introduce anyone to SL, the first piece of advice I give them is to get away, and stay away from Ahern and ALL the other "Welcome" areas. I've been in SL for over six years now, and they haven't been fit for civilized interactions for at least five and a half of those years. They are now gathering places for Con Artists, Griefers, and the Socially Stunted of SL. It seems the Lindens have long since abandoned the welcome areas to these elements, and no longer know or care what first impressions these areas make on new SL residents. IMO the Lindens should either restore active policing of these areas, or dismantle them. Angel.
  9. victoriacatherine wrote: I am trying to get my friend on a pose ball. Well I got her to sit on it but only sit. She is not dancing. we are trying to see if she has to allow her avi to be animated. Such as if she is not at her computer can I make her dance. Thanks for any help Have her turn off any AO's she might be Wearing. Some poseballs won't override an AO, and some AO's simply cannot be Overridden. Angel.
  10. Many years ago, a strange woman followed one of my girls home (She was Curious about me from my girl's descriptions of me). There was a Sadness to her, as well as a Sharpish, Distrusting edge. We talked, and she spent time in our Home that day,, But when it came time in her estimation to leave, I asked her to Stay. There were no hearts and Flowers in our conversation,,No magical Love songs,,All i Knew was, I wanted her to Stay. Not just that day, But for as long as i could keep her. I Knew I needed her. We were together for several months, when i asked her to marry me (Marriage being something i swore i would never do again for reasons too long and complicated to log here). She was shocked, But she said Yes. Over the years we've had our Ups and downs, Our fights, and our good times. I simply Can't Imagine life without her. I may not have said "I love you" on that First afternoon, But it would have been as true then as it is Now. I Love you my Ikuko, I have from the Moment we met, and i will long after i draw my last breath. Keli, ma chere, It's NEVER too soon, as long as it's true. Angel
  11. Deltango Vale wrote: I am perfectly willing to accept the possibility that I am insane, but, just out of curiosity, how does the Unites States plan to survive the next 50 years? The U.S. Government is working along the lines of one very simple premise; "Sure we Owe,, But who would dare forclose on us even if we default?" The Chinese, who hold the largest amount of the U.S.debt have already warned the American Government that their ways have to change if they expect to survive, a sentiment that has been so far sneered at and dismissed out of hand. They believe that they are a Law Unto Themselves, accountable to no one. Not thier creditors, Not the world banks, And certainly not thier citizens. Like so many other World Powers that have reached this point in thier developement, They won't change, and only History will demonstrate if they are right (And so far, Historical Precident is NOT on thier side). Angel.
  12. Robeyn wrote: I jsut had a disastrous short experience as a sub slave. The master was all excited to have a slave and then pretty much ignored me once he had me. We had sex a few times but mostly he was busy. i was expecting more than that and feel like I missed a point someplace. Did I miss a point someplace? It wasn't like his being busy was part of the rp, he just didn't get around to me. What do you think? I just wrote, then deleted a long rant on this subject, Instead I'll just say this. Speaking as someone in the D/s lifestyle both RL and SL; If You are just role playing as a sub/slave, then it's No harm, No foul. One bad game round, and you can move on. You've just been doing it as a game, and your hurt. Imagine how it would feel If you had Comitted to him for real. In RP, or Lifestyle; -A Good Master (Or Mistress) has a history of longevity with thier slaves, Not a new flavour each week. -They have something to offer OUTSIDE the bedroom (Sex used as a training tool, NOT a Goal). -They should be guiding you to be a better slave, and a better person. -Most of all they should make you feel Proud that they selected YOU above all others to serve them. I hope this advice helps you in future Angel
  13. Let's see,,, My SL Daughter; Nine years, give or take. Two Current slaves, Six years roughly. And my SL. Wife Five years this December. And we have other members of our family as well, all measured in years as well. I love them all dearly, and count myself fortunate that i have thier love and support. Angel.
  14. The best way to test whether thier disclaimer has any validity or not is to wait until they quote your IM (Or do anything else that contravenes SL-TOS) and Respond by Filing an AR. When (And i mean when, not IF) Linden Lab sanctions them for violating TOS you will have your answer. Regardless of land ownership status, No party within SL may unilaterally exempt themselves from TOS, No matter how many "Disclaimers" they post. Angel.
  15. Deltango Vale wrote: That the book ends in June 2007 is significant. The author missed the huge culture war resulting from Linden Lab's strategic, philosophical, and policy reversals of 2007-2010. Second Life 2003-2007 was a very different world from Second Life 2007-2011. Most interesting to me, therefore, is that the research was conducted precisely when Second Life was in its prime, when it was a model of free-flowing human interaction, unsullied by Linden Lab managers and RL reformers. For that reason alone, the book is probably worth reading. Deltango points out one of the most prevalent flaws in any study of this kind. At some point the anthropologist, or sociologist decides thier work is concluded, then publishes thier findings all the while neglecting the basic principle that human cultures are dynamic, and constantly evolving, and the conclusions they draw will become outdated over time as the culture they examine grows past thier observations. If one reads a sociological study of America written between 1950, and 1959 one does not gain an accurate portrait of American society in 2011. Of course we also have to accept that no culture exists in a vacume, there will always be outside influences effecting change. In this case, the LL Administration. In a nutshell, it's wrong for any study of mankind to be considered at any point concluded or complete. The kind of social and more accurately named "Cross Cultural" developements seen in SL are very new when viewed on the greater scale of human developement. Perhaps a decade old at best. On line interactions like SL, The Sims Online, World of Warcraft, and several others can best be viewd as "Emergent Cultures", A society, Or Societies in thier infancy which may, or may not grow into distinctive seperate cultures, growing in independence from the RL cultural frameworks of it's new citizens. Again this is where the various anthropological and socio-political studies being conducted in SL (And other venues) would best be served by NOT attempting to draw any "difinitive" conclusions, Rather they should record contemporary conditions and developements over a certain period of time, Then do no more than speculate on the possible futures based upon the current observations, and past trends. Angel.
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