Ima Rang

Ian Undercroft wrote: I did suitably qualify my comment, Ima, to cover your "not always" situation! Indeed you did, Sir. :smileyvery-happy:

Maryanne Solo wrote: I don't hesitate to acknowledge valuable contributions and a combined effort such as yours truly deserves special recognition indeed :-) I am glad that you appreciate my heartfelt message to you and by all means, if you require any clarification on those sticky technical or legal issues I pointed out, I would be more than happy to help. It is the least I can do for someone such as yourselve? dontchyathink?. I so look forward to your time spent onstage at H2. The site IS coming along wonderfully. I will drop a small original full perm clothing accessory item there soon for all to enjoy if it meets with Hippie and Keli's approval. Keli being the copyright holder of the original artwork of course. With all the borrowing going on within SL it is only fair I seek the permission of the copyright holders before using their original content Thank you for your kind response! 8^) In the four + years I have been in SL, Hippiestock I was the most fun event I have attended virtually. It brought about those nostalgic feelings of community that seemed more present in the early days of SL. What would be a huge **bleep**, both to Hippiestock as well as this informative thread, is if this petty, immature, passive-aggressive infighting, was to deter individuals from participating in what will no doubt be an awesome day of entertainment and community. Perhaps, this bizarre mating dance should be carried out in a throw away thread that no one else would care about?

I will be there! Looking forward to it!

Dresden Ceriano wrote: Venus Petrov wrote: Dres: I understand and agree with your sentiments. Body scent is separate from pheromones. I do not wish to confuse thread readers. You're right. Sometimes I forget some people need a little extra help. @Perrie: Mix that with some coconut and rum and I'm right there with you... lol. ...Dres A new twist eh? Alcoholic protein shake :matte-motes-big-grin-wink:

Perrie Juran wrote: Dresden Ceriano wrote: In the context of SL, I've often wished that I knew what someone I was seeing in SL smelled like, I guess that's where my imagination comes in. I also tell the girls that I love to drink pineapple juice. Haha! Brilliant! :matte-motes-big-grin-squint:

Mayalily wrote: Oh brother, it's called google for information. Well Miss Mayalily, since you are the one spreading the word on the forum that individuals can be sued for casting in print that you may be posting from your work place...you provide the proof, or, you could simply retract your statement and cease your fearmongering.

Mayalily wrote: It's not difficult. You get a supeona for an IP adress, and that sets the ball rolling. Luckily, I don't work Sundays, but that person could be setting themself up for something else if he/she says something to hurt somebody and their job. I work Sundays, eh Wicked, well were is the money for this Sunday job 'cause I'd sure like to know. Anyhow, how someone equates going out to lunch with working is beyond me. Wicked has never heard of people going to eat for lunch or dinner on the weekends? Bizarro post by Wicked.... wazz up dude? :matte-motes-sarcasm: That is just nutty. You can't sue people for insinuating that you were posting while at work. Your response to Wicked's post is more bizarro. But since you are making up internet laws, how about a forum restraining order where you can't post within 100 threads of a poster that finds you irritating?

Carole Franizzi wrote: Imagine reading this…. “Black people are different from white people no matter how much some want them to be equal. Should a biology teacher be accused of racism simply because he teaches children about the inequality of the biology of black and white races? Just because a few million blacks were enslaved against their will, raped, beaten and killed during the slave-trade, why try to stop some black people from selling themselves if they need the money? Yes, okay, in lots of places blacks are still being kidnapped, sold and brutalised - even young children - but why let that cast a shadow on the purchasing of black people in areas where it’s been decriminalised? Racial equality activists want to take away the freedom of choice of blacks who want to sell themselves to pay debts and they victimize them by insisting that they must be victims, and seek to deprive them of their own opinion on the matter as well as their right to sell themselves, because many black people actually really enjoy selling themselves. Blacks should be allowed to keep selling themselves because often their only alternative is cleaning toilets. Biology and related sciences are inevitably racist and politically incorrect, because that's what nature is. Blacks are either work mules or studs – har! har! Aren’t I funny?” I hope that sounds appalling to you. I hope you manage to finally hear what it is that offends me so – for the exact same sentiments, but about women, are contained in your posts. I hope…but I’m not holding my breath. Yes, it is appalling...appalling that you posted it, and appalling that you compare such to a legal work trade that is not gender specific.

Caitlin Tobias wrote: Ima Rang wrote: Mayalily wrote: wiked Anton wrote: hmmmmm, what bothers me is why are you logged into SL when you are at work?.....I dont know why eric linden did that...perhaps you can ask him? What on Earth? I wasn't at work. How in tarnation did you get that idea into your head? People have been sued on the internet for saying people are at work whether it's on Facebook or wherever they print that. Where, pray tell, did you ever get such an idea? I do real life with real life people called family on weekends, but I would like an explanation please of this nonsense you have printed here. LOL! How does one get sued on the internet? I would love to see any article you could produce citing a case where someone was sued for having falsely claimed someone was on the internet during working hours. I am going to sue YOU now. You are on the internet while at work. No need to deny it! OMG! You caught me! I'll trade you a vintage SL torch and a stick tongue out gesture in exchange for your silence.

InspiredJohn wrote: Hi all nice to be here! I have been hearing varying things about Second life for a long time now and finally decided to take the plunge. I am like I am sure many of you are here, self employed (in the real world) and currently run an IT firm/consultancy. Iv'e decided to come here to explore and create a second life for myself and my business and really just see how it pans out! any tips? advice? Hi! Pro Tip: Unless you build IT infrastructure for pron sites, don't locate your business in Zindra :matte-motes-big-grin: Welcome!

Mayalily wrote: wiked Anton wrote: hmmmmm, what bothers me is why are you logged into SL when you are at work?.....I dont know why eric linden did that...perhaps you can ask him? What on Earth? I wasn't at work. How in tarnation did you get that idea into your head? People have been sued on the internet for saying people are at work whether it's on Facebook or wherever they print that. Where, pray tell, did you ever get such an idea? I do real life with real life people called family on weekends, but I would like an explanation please of this nonsense you have printed here. LOL! How does one get sued on the internet? I would love to see any article you could produce citing a case where someone was sued for having falsely claimed someone was on the internet during working hours.

Storm Clarence wrote: Willow Danube wrote: Storm Clarence wrote: /me blinks You're blinking as if it is a bad thing... :matte-motes-bashful-cute: /me kneels on his beautiful Persian carpet, reaches for a vial, unzips, and pees in it. Shakes. Zips. Takes a quick sniff of the vial; Iz perfect. 100USD, please. Well...that made breakfast a bit less appetizing ;D

valerie Inshan wrote: I remember my Mom telling me she would remember for the rest of her life where she was and exactly what she was doing when President Kennedy was shot. Almost 40 years later, before our very eyes on all TVs of the world, we were the desperate and astounded witnesses of the 9/11 tragedy. I am sure none of us will ever forget this until we die. I was on vacation in the south of France, laying lazily by a swimming pool on a bright an sunny day. I had forgotten my mobile phone in the house and went to take it. I don't why I turned on the TV at that time of the day (it was around 3:00 pm for me). At first, I thought it was another of these bad special effects movie. Then the second plane hit the other tower and I just sat knocked out. I remember I watched TV until 5:00 am that day, and could not stop crying. Where were you at that time? Do you remember precisely what you were doing at this very moment? Please share and have a prayer if you are inclined to do so. I was in a meeting when someone flung the door open abruptly, tears streaming down their cheeks,and turned the TV on as they could hardly articulate what it was we were about to see. The second plane hit not even a full minute after the TV came on. I was eight months pregnant at the time, my baby girl was born Nov 12, and like most overly emotional pregnant women, I cried for hours. We all sat in that conference room like we were nailed to the floor for nearly 12 straight hours. I remember rubbing my very swollen tummy and suddenly being very fearful of bringing new life into this world. You are right, it is not a day that will ever be forgotten.

Rabid Cheetah wrote: Things were already getting out of control even before the picture exchange. Boundries should be set, and if the other person doesn't like them, walk. The longer you wait to confront stalkers and control freaks, the harder it is. True. I don't think they were in "relationship" stage long enough for a clear picture to emerge. He really is a very nice man who loves SL for the creative aspects, and, well, the road to hell is paved with good intentions...but his true intention was not to cause any more hurt than was necessary. Ultimately, he lost a lot of good friends, and gave up something he really enjoyed for a long period of time. There was not a winner in the whole situation.

Ishtara Rothschild wrote: Ima Rang wrote: In my opinion, the most attractive thing in a woman or man is self-confidence, not arrogance, but self-confidence. Actually, the most attractive trait of a man is his smell. Women subconsciously analyze the male body odor and are able to detect if the major histocompatibility complex of a potential mate is similar or dissimilar to their own. MHC-dissimilarity greatly increases the chance for healthy offspring. Choosing an MHC-similar mate comes pretty close to incest and can have the same disastrous consequences for the offspring. So even if two SL lovebirds exchange photos and find each other sufficiently attractive, she might still instinctively feel that something is wrong with him once they meet in person. And that's a good thing, because nobody wants kids who spend their entire lives in a plastic bubble or have tails and twelve toes. Alas, this means that online dating is either pointless or potentially dangerous. Pointless in case that she can't stand his smell and breaks up with him after an RL meetup, even though the two appeared to be incredibly compatible in their online chats, and potentially dangerous because she might already have a crush on him and decide to ignore her gut feeling. It gets worse though. Pregnant women completely change their MHC preference and suddently seek the company of MHC-similar men. That's why pregnant women tend to be so b!tchy towards their poor male partners This instinct dates back to the time when humans lived in small clans of up to 20 related individuals. Horny and rebellious teenagers (there's another age-old instinct for you) left the family clan for a short and intense romance with an unrelated dark, tall and handsome stranger, and then returned to their relatives after the deed was done. Hence the post-conception preference for the company of people that smell related. Blood relatives are a lot more likely to provide for and protect a pregnant woman than the guy who fathered her child, seeing that many men use a hit & run strategy. Now, can you imagine what happens when women use oral contraceptives, which block conception by simulating a pregnancy? Exactly. Luckily, a woman has to lay off the pill if she wants to get pregnant, with the result that she can suddenly no longer stand the company of the guy who she fell in love with while she was on the pill, without really knowing why. Which probably explains why about two thirds of all divorces are filed by women Here is an interesting article on this topic, in case you want to learn more about it or verify that I didn't just make this up. Bottom line: Great looks, inner values and self-confidence are not going to cut it. Men also have to smell right. If you want to make sure that he's Mr. Right without scheduling an RL meeting, ask him to wear a T-shirt without using deodorant for a day, and then get him to mail you the T-shirt. But it's so much easier to just keep things in SL, never exchange photos and never ruin the illusion. Well that would explain why the hot and bothered occurs after my SO comes in from cutting the grass. Rarrrrw, and why we produced one very healthy and vibrant offspring

Lillie Woodells wrote: Interesting topic Ima. I've thought about this very thing often. I was married to a handsome man, but he was an abusive jerk, and in the end he became ugly to look at. I didn't see the hunky good looking guy that other women saw. I never have thought of looks as being the most important thing. It doesn't hurt to be with someone good looking, but to me it's the icing on the cake. I don't consider myself as attractive, but we are, as someone stated last night, our own worst critic. The most recent man who stole my heart did not consider himself attractive either. I found myself over time finding him more and more attractive, in my eyes he is a very handsome man. His inside characteristics built upon the foundation of his looks and made the whole package more attractive to me. I tend to see things differently though. I wrote this awhile back: You are your own story. You tell your story not always with words. Your story is told by your eyes, by the set of your jaw, by the lines on your face. Each line is a clue to the mystery of who you are, earned by some event in your life, inspired by true stories. Every journey, every victory, every tragedy, each love and each loss is etched on your face. Every moment makes an impact on us, making us who we are. Shaping our hearts, minds, and bodies. We become our story through choice as well as circumstances. This makes us unique and beautiful, it gives us our character. Those are my thoughts on it. I think the important thing to remember when speaking about looks is personal taste. Some people think Nicholas Cage is too damn hot for his own good, where I find his so incredibly unattractive I imagine he would scare the tide from coming in. I'm sure there are many who would find me unattractive, but just as many that would find me beautiful. Ultimately, as long as I am happy with my appearance and secure with myself, I don't have to cry myself to sleep because some percentage of the population finds me unattractive...because it all comes down to personal taste. And, as you stated, sometimes a person who is physically attractive can reveal themselves to be so full of **bleep**headedness, that you no longer see their physical attractivness. Just a big ol' walking turd. I have seen the RL you...and you are stunning

Ishtara Rothschild wrote: Jo Yardley wrote: Send someone an ugly photo showing someone else sounds like a great plan to check if the other party is shallow and cares about appearance too much. All people care about appearance, unless they're extremely desperate and/or have a very low self-esteem. I mean, inner values are all good and well, but appearance is important too. Nobody wants to undersell themselves. True, most people do not want to undersell themselves. Sex is an important part of a relationship, and if the bat and ball stay locked in the dugout due to lack of physical attraction....well, doomed...and that is not really something good values, money, and or a delightful personality can take care of.

Ian Undercroft wrote: I don't think the man can be faulted at all. This is just an example of human nature at work. The relationship depended on an image (whether based on her avatar or otherwise) that he had created in his mind. When that image was shattered by the photo, the relationship, as it had been, was at end. People such as her can choose to avoid being hurt in this way. Show a RL photo in your profile or at an early stage. This considerably reduces the scope for disllusionment. Of course, you may find you are less popular if, objectively, you are unattractive, but the relationships you do form will be stronger in that they will, likely, be based on your personality rather than your looks. That is excellent advice.

Madelaine McMasters wrote: Hate campaign? Ima, It doesn't help that the woman you describe is as ugly on the inside as the outside! Maybe I'm an exception to the "norm", but I'm highly visual and (usually) able to temper my emotions. What you are describing is just one part of the projection we do online. In the absence of RL cues. I imagine you all to be at least as pleasing to the eye as your avatars. I also imagine your voice is sexy, your conversational and table manners are impeccable and you don't get up to pee at 3AM. You, in turn, imagine that I'd tolerate all your foibles. Heaven help us if we meet in RL and you haven't previously disabused me of my fantasy. Your looks will not save you. Certainly there are many stories of couples transitioning successfully from online to RL. (In fact, I'm sure this has been going on for hundreds of years, starting with handwritten letters.) In the scenario you created, both people should have been dropping hints about realities and expectations along the way. The truly self-aware will understand the need to gently transition from the projection to the reality, both for themselves and their partner. We all know what happens when we fail to manage expectations. The "blatant honesty" you mention isn't something to be saved for the last minute. I'll let you all know right now that I'm not as good looking as Maddy (I'm not even as good looking as Snugs). I have vitiligo and by the end of summer I look like an emaciated guernsey cow in a sundress. If I catch you saying "like" more than three times in one minute with food in your mouth while you constantly stir the crushed ice in your glass, you'll wish you'd voted against "concealed carry". See how easy it can be to manage expectations?! Wow, I thought we might have something there for a moment, but unfortunately, sometimes I do get up to pee at 3 am. IMO, in this scenario, I don't think that it was an "at the last minute" kind of thing. In an effort to get to know the RL person better...before moving the relationship to exclusive...it started with a picture exchange. When in SL, you can participate in all kinds of activities and make statments like "I love to dance, and swim, and ski, etc." Sometimes a story of a RL ski trip may be discussed and an assumption might be that what you love to do in SL is what you love to do in RL. You may mistake these as hints of RL stuffs, when in reality, they stopped letting you on the ski lift 10 years ago when you exceeded the weight capacity, and although you like to dance, the residence in the apartment below you have called the police because it sounds like a flash mob when you get giggy with it, so you had to heed the cease and disist letter. My RL feet are not as ugly as my Ima's feet.

Jo Yardley wrote: I think it is shallow to end a relationship over it AFTER having been romantic for a long time and being very attracted to each other because of each others personality. Would you end a relationship if the person you are in love with had an accident that changed their face or if they gained a lot of weight and became unhealthy? And in SL isn't that all we can be attracted too as we have no idea what really is on the other side of the internet cable? If you love someone because of their personality, you should at least give things a try even if they don't look as you had hoped. Personally I avoid all this by simply having an avatar that looks like I do in RL hehehe, well that and that I don't care about any kind of romance in SL. Well, technically, prior to seeing pictures, you are attracted to the toons or the image of the person that you develop in your own head. The "relationship" was less than a month, which may be like what, 50 years in SL time? Why should you give it a try based on love of personality alone? If you know you are not physically or sexually attracted to a particular body type, why not avoid deepening the hurt by cutting bait instead of prolonging the inevitable? If you really know yourself, you know what your limitations are. If my SO was altered physically due to an accident, no, I would not consider leaving the relationship. If my SO gained a ton of weight, and refused to do anything about it after a gentle request that he do so, yeah, I would figure if he did not care about himself and his health any more than that, his care for me was probably equally limited. If he gained a little extra around the middle due to normal aging, no, I would not care. I avoid SL romance as well.

ErynnClover2 wrote: This is tough, when I read this I first thought, man up and tell her! Sure her feelings might get hurt but at least you don't have to go months with her stalking you, and plus she probably knows what's up. If before that the two of them were shagging every damn day and after he got her picture the shagging stopped and he didn't want to spend as much time with her, then I feel she would probably know. Plus people shouldn't get so butt hurt over what people think you look like and if they find you Hawt or sexy. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, if that person things you aren't attractive, move one, but don't go crazy and create a hate group. However, Im in a similar situation, or at least I could be. My partner and I have become extremely close and enjoy what the other has to bring into the relationship, we aren't exclusive in RL because RL is RL sl is sl, yaddah yaddah, if I got the 10k to ship myself over to the UK I don't know that I would so quickly just to be with him ANYWAY! I was talking with a friend and she and I talked about this. I know Im attractive and many guys and girls find me attractive, so no skin off my back if one person didn't think so. But if I saw him and he was Pounds and goofy looking I don't think I can have the same relationship. Humans are very visual, the reason we are sexually attracted to one type or the next is because our animal instinct is telling us "This person is a good mating buddy, have many babies with them" why do we not find 400lb men with goofy faces attractive? Because the animal instinct in us tells us that that's bad genetics. So Even I, a female have some visual needs. And Like wise if he didn't find me attractive, it wouldn't kill me, because I know Im pretty I feel pretty, more power to the haters etc. So Like I said its tough on one hand you want the guy to just tell the girl and you want the girl to not get so but ass hurt, but I know many women who are my friends and I've said "Man your sl boobs make you look a little thick" (not obese or fat or lard ass) 'thick' and they've totally gone nuts over that little itty bitty thing. So tough question, tough answers I guess case by case right? I agree. I think most women or men even, would get the message, but some simply do not. In my opinion, the most attractive thing in a woman or man is self-confidence, not arrogance, but self-confidence. I think in this scenario, had the woman had a high degree of self-confidence, she would have not persued someone who made themselves out to be a cad and player after being alerted to the fact, and alternatively, if if he had told her that he did not find her physically to be his type, she would have had enough intestinal fortitude to understand that looks may not be everything, but they are something...and simply continued to enjoy the relationship as a friendship. Spreading hatred throughout the group of mutual friends is, IMHO, very telling as to her true character and evidence that she was low on the self-esteem to begin with.

Jo Yardley wrote: Send someone an ugly photo showing someone else sounds like a great plan to check if the other party is shallow and cares about appearance too much. So one persons dishonest act to determine shallowness, is more acceptable that of the other persons dishonesty to prevent crushing someones self-esteem? I don't think it is shallow for someone to say, I'm not physically attracted to you. I am very into fitness, and healthy eating and appreciate a well taken care of smile, I can imagine that if a man that I was interested in sent me a pic and he weighed 500 lbs and had but a single tooth in his face, that while I might want to keep him as a friend and continue to enjoy the parts of our connection that were appealing, I could not and should not have to look past issues that are physically and sexually unappealing in order to be considered a person of depth.

Hayley Spore wrote: Physical attraction is an important part of any relationship. While the emotional bond may be enough to hold an existing relationship together once the physical attraction begins to fade, it is often (not always!) enough to get a new one started or move to the next step. Not only that but communication is the single most important part of any relationship. If you can't be honest and open about something as important as, "I am not attracted to you and do not wish to persue a relationship" then it is doomed to fail right from the start. I've gotten myself into a lot of trouble for being blunt and honest in the past, but it has also saved my bacon more times than I care to count. I would much rather that my significant other just outright tell me how they feel so we can deal with it right away, rather than danging around until I figure it out myself. Just my two cents! :matte-motes-bashful-cute-2: Yes, I am very blunt myself, and prefer the direct approach. However, I guess I can see that if you know someone is already down, that the desire not to kick them with that kind of honesty. It is kind of like the "Do these jeans make my ass look fat" question. No dear. is the appropriate response, but it is rarely the honest response.

SL always presents issues that are easily resolved and/or avoided in RL. After a conversation with one of the first people I met in SL in 2007, I thought it might be an interesting discussion. A group of SL residents hangout frequently and a male avi and female avi, find themselves drawn to each other because they share a similar set of interests and sense of humor. They start spending time together, things get romantic, they even take their first leap together into something different for both of them, yes, you guessed it, they took turns on the spanker machine! Things are going swimmingly, both are starting to feel some warm and fuzzy inside their RL body, he is her prince charming and she is the stuff his fantasies are made of....and then the female avi wants to discuss exclusivity, perhaps even a RL meeting at some point. The male avi is not completely opposed to the idea, but decides perhaps they should exchange RL photos of themselves and get to know each other on a more personal basis before taking such a giant step. Pictures are exchanged. She is pleasantly surprised, he is more handsome than she had imagined. He is mortified and his bat and balls haul ass for the dugout and his fantasy is shattered. So now the warm and fuzzy feelings have grown for her and his warm and fuzzy feelings died a sudden and violent death. He knows that she has been going through a difficult time and has no desire to hurt her feelings, He tries to continue the romance, but the image is burned into his minds eye. She asks about exclusivity again...he panics. He makes himself out to be a cad of a man, a player, hoping this terrible charchter trait of his will turn her off and she will think him not worth one more minute of her time, but, at least he will not of hurt her feelings on such a self-esteem battering level. The plan totally backfired, she could cure him of his evil ways and she emailed and IM'd with the intensity of a stalker. After a week or so of increasingly intense behavior on her part, he felt he had no choice but to mute her as the situation was interferring with his work and general state of happiness. She launched a widespread hate campaign against him amongst their mutual friends. He left SL for six months. Women are emotionally driven, are more apt to think that looks are not everything and he should love and appreciate her for her inards. Men are visual creatures. There is someone for everyone as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but you don't always want to beholden everyone...no matter how nice and/or fun they are. And some people don't want to "just be friends." Would, after a picture exchange, you prefer for your pixel dream to be blatantly honest and tell you that they are not physically attracted to you? How would you react?

My brother owned an operated an electrical service company, his tag line on his company vehicles was "We'll be glad to look into your shorts." :matte-motes-agape: