Lack of friends...

[Wesley Spengler]

35 minutes ago, Zallia Creeley said:

My friends joke "Zall, you need to get out more." At this point I think it's because of the hilarity that ensues when I try and meet new people, or they try and meet me.

I'm hoping that either way, it stems from a place of laughing with you, not at you! 😉

For me, so much of this is dependent on my mental state at any given moment, which can be highly variable. My brain seems to spend a lot of time in some weird, in-between place where I want to be alone, and yet socialize with people. Somehow that doesn't seem to work very well...

And, as @PheebyKatz said:

17 hours ago, PheebyKatz said:

I do think SL is a good place to practice extroversion to some extent.

...which is another excellent point. Sometimes that comes so naturally, I wonder if someone else took over my computer keyboard. And then, of course, there's the rest of the time... 🙄

[Zallia Creeley]

Just now, Wesley Spengler said:

I'm hoping that either way, it stems from a place of laughing with you, not at you! 

Oh with, for sure. I am part of the laughing.

My friend I joke "this on on-brand" when the hilarity ensues.

2 minutes ago, Wesley Spengler said:

My brain seems to spend a lot of time in some weird, in-between place where I want to be alone, and yet socialize with people. Somehow that doesn't seem to work very well...

Yeah, this also. It's like I want to be alone with other people.

[PheebyKatz]

9 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Many of us are "lacking in the friends department", having put many of our potential friends on "layaway"; not quite ready to make a purchase - but unsure of whether to use credit, a "one-time payment", or to add a maintenance agreement with extended warranty.

Sometimes you want to take your potential friends for a test drive, kick the tires, etc.

I myself have many friends on my "wish list", but am not sure of their utility. It could be due to keyword SPAM, or it could be that I wish there was a Demo option available.

A lot of hurt can be avoided by being patient, and just seeing what develops. I do think there's wisdom in not rushing things and actually getting to know people before deciding they're your peeps.

I think it was C. S. Lewis who said it but I'm not sure. I'll quote it anyway.

"A friend is someone who knows all about you, and still likes you."

It's important to remember it goes both ways though, and not everyone who would otherwise make a great friend might enjoy knowing they're being judged for fitness while getting to know someone. Kinda makes one feel like an object, being treated like a car, or other purchased item.

I also think a friendship/acquaintance that's more open on one side than the other might tend to get stressed more easily than one that's just left open on both sides. This is why in the majority of cases, even if I end up blocking someone and defriending them, at some point I unblock them and will greet them in passing, and see what happens.

That's part of the patience thing. If they bounce back and show any openness towards me in return, I open back up and see what develops again.

There are people who despise me, whom I would be open to friendship with, or at least amiable acquaintance. I only ever really close someone off if they spit in my face too many times in a row, so to speak.

If I see them later, and they're not spitting at people anymore, I close the umbrella and give them another chance.

I'm just really slow to do it, sometimes.

Edited February 28 by PheebyKatz

[SpiritSparrow Skydancer]

Just start throwing lindens around people will love you 🥰 

Edited March 1 by SpiritSparrow Skydancer
Er, Linden dollars, not the actual Lindens… that would be bad .

[MinkBlueleaf Fyrewik]

As an extroverted person, I thrive on social interactions, but my social skills sometimes hold me back. It took me a considerable amount of time to connect with people who share my sense of being an outcast in real life. While I draw energy from groups, I don’t feel the urge to engage in voice chats or explore VRChat (perhaps because I consider myself a bit “old” for that and the goggles make me feel ill). Texting and role-playing suffice for me.

My imagination is a powerful asset—I used to be an artist, and I still enjoy putting together avatars and acting out in various roles. Fictional characters captivate me; their stories and complexities fascinate me deeply. Being extroverted doesn’t mean I never crave solitude; there are moments when I intentionally pursue activities alone. After all, not everyone shares my interests.

Ultimately, companionship matters most to me. Whether it’s discussing the real world, engaging in role-play, exploring, or simply enjoying music and dancing with other avatars, I seek connection. Unfortunately, life doesn’t always align with our desires; people have their off days. Second Life provides me with an avenue to communicate, especially since I often feel hopeless in face-to-face interactions. As an extrovert, I don’t always need to be the life of the party or have an entourage. I stumble at times, and I’ve never been one to confine individuals to tiny, cramped boxes—that seems unrealistic to me.
 

[PheebyKatz]

3 hours ago, SpiritSparrow Skydancer said:

Just start throwing lindens around people will love you 🥰 

Actually, I think that depends. When I was making money and buying L$, and was sort of SL rich, I got nostalgic for the old days when me and my SL mom would go out and find new people who were broke, and take them shopping and stuff.

I had a friend who owned a sim, and a lot of people liked to go there to fish. Obviously, some of them were broke, and probably were saving up L$ to get themselves nice things.

I began doing random flyovers, dropping random amounts from 10 to 1,000 L$ on people.

Some probably never even noticed. Some probably thought it was an accident, and just kept shut about it. Some (a very few) said wow, thanks, and about as many messaged me things like, why did you do that? Like, accusingly.

I've had people that I helped with money turn around and five minutes later speak to me like I was a piece of garbage, when every other interaction before I gave them money was polite, courteous, and completely decent.

Like anything else people do, giving away money is going to provoke a different response from everybody. Some probably even hate it. No idea why. I wish people dropped money on me at random.

[Persephone Emerald]

23 minutes ago, PheebyKatz said:

Like anything else people do, giving away money is going to provoke a different response from everybody. Some probably even hate it. No idea why. I wish people dropped money on me at random.

I was in SL early Tuesday morning when I saw someone had given me money. I got all excited, wondering who could've done this. Maybe my ex bf who's still friendly with me?

Then I remembered...Oh. yeah, the Tuesday stipend. 😆

[PheebyKatz]

15 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said:

I was in SL early Tuesday morning when I saw someone had given me money. I got all excited, wondering who could've done this. Maybe my ex bf who's still friendly with me?

Then I remembered...Oh. yeah, the Tuesday stipend. 😆

Be glad they pay it in L$, and don't just look at people's wishlists and gift them things out of nowhere. I could see that freaking some people out, not even getting a "u prty grl" IM to go with it.

[Persephone Emerald]

.

Edited March 1 by Persephone Emerald
Changed my mind

[PheebyKatz]

2 hours ago, Persephone Emerald said:

.

Careful, I don't know if we're allowed to talk about our periods here.

[Zallia Creeley]

9 hours ago, PheebyKatz said:

Careful, I don't know if we're allowed to talk about our periods here

Ba-dum, tish.

[NipahRika]

On 1/31/2024 at 9:30 PM, PheebyKatz said:

This is super important. When I see an empty profile, I assume they want to be left alone, or they're a predator.

 

Oh, I never really thought of it that way. My profile is still empty for now, but may add a picture of my avatar and then some stuff in my bio.