Bored, tell me a cheesy joke. (nothing offensive)

[Osforia]

Wanna hear a bad cat joke? Just kitten. 

Edited February 1, 2021 by Osforia
more fun

[Osforia]

What four-legged animal can jump higher than a house? 
Any, houses can’t jump.

 

[Osforia]

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fsh.

[Osforia]

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..

[Osforia]

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

[Osforia]

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

She looked surprised.

[Osforia]

Did you hear about the burglar who fell into a cement mixer?

He was a hardened criminal

[Osforia]

I ate a watch yesterday, it was extremely time consuming.

[Osforia]

Ghost walks into a bar and orders a shot of rum.

Bartender says, sorry we don't serve spirits here.

[Karl Herber]

My grandad had the heart of a lion.

And a lifetime ban from London Zoo.

[Rowan Amore]

Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory?

All the was left was de brie.

 

You did say cheese jokes, right?  😄

[StevenBautista]

A block of cheddar and a wheel of swiss walk in to a bar.  The bartender says "Hey what are ya having?" The block of cheddar says "I'll just have a water." the Swiss looks at the bartender and says "If it's gouda nuff for him, it's gouda nuff for me."

[Osforia]

When I said cheesy, I meant as in 'Dad joke cheesy' but yeah keep on with the cheese, I wanna make a toasty. 

[Osforia]

Why was the cheesemonger lopsided? He only had one Stilton.

[Osforia]

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese

[Osforia]

What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror? Halloumi!

[Osforia]

A kid threw a lump of cheddar at me. I thought 'that's not mature'

[Osforia]

Why didn't the cheese want to get sliced? It had grater plans

[Osforia]

What is Jay Z's favourite cheese? Brieonce

[Osforia]

What music does cheese lovers listen to? R n Brie 

[Osforia]

What's the best cheese to tempt a bear out of the words? Camembert

[Osforia]

What cheese is made backwards? Edam

[Osforia]

What is a lion's favourite cheese? Roarquefort

[Nynali]

How do you make a fondue without one of those special pots? You Fondon`t

[shireena1]

A man was driving along a country road one day, and his car suddenly started to splutter and stalled and the car stopped. The man opened the bonnet of the car to have a look and see if it was anything obvious. While he was doing this, a group of horses that were in the paddock next to the car walked over. Then the man heard a voice, "The battery cable has dropped off!" The man looked around and saw no-one except the horses. Then one of the horses spoke and said "Yes it was me. Your battery cable dropped off!" The man was in shock, but he looked and sure enough the battery cable had dropped off. The man spluttered "Thanks" and got the car started and left in a great hurry. When the man reached the next local township, the man had to go to a bar to get get a stiff drink to calm his nerves. After a drink or two, he told the barman, "You are not going to believe me, but my  car broke down a few miles up the road, and when i got out a horse told me what was wrong with it!" The barman laughed, then said, "Was it the white horse, the dappled one, or the the brown one?"  The man replied, "Well actually it was a white one." The barman replied, "Thats good ! The others don't know anything about cars."

Edited February 1, 2021 by shireena1
I apologise for that joke having nothing to do with cheese.