Bored, tell me a cheesy joke. (nothing offensive)

[Nynali]

People hate my cheesy puns. But I'm quite fondue of them 

[Karl Herber]

Swiss Cheese Paradox.

• Swiss cheese has holes.
• The more holes you have, the less cheese you have.
• The more cheese you have, the more holes you have.
• Therefore, the more cheese you have, the less cheese you have.

 

[shireena1]

The following one was in the newspaper a while ago, it also has nothing to do with cheese lol.

A duck walked into a chemist and asked for a chapstick.

The chemist asked. "Credit card or cash?"

"Neither" said the duck. "Just stick it on my bill!"

[Annalise Evergarden]

did you hear about the crash involving an ice cream truck?

The driver said it was the... Rocky road.

[KymeLeconfield]

What hotel does cheese stay at? The Stilton.

[Chroma Starlight]

[Rat Luv]

How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?

Wi' jam in 

[Jordyn McGregor]

My fav joke of all time...just a lil bit naughty.

What is the difference between a hooker, girlfriend and wife?

Hooker says "Aren't you done yet?"
Girlfriend says "Was that it?"
Wife says "Beige, I think we'll paint the ceiling beige."

[Osforia]

when should you keep an eye on your cheese?

When its up to no gouda

[shireena1]

What do call a deer with no eyes?

No idea.

[shireena1]

Chocolate contains cocoa.

cocoa comes from a plant, so technically, chocolate is a salad!

(anyway, that's my story and i'm sticking to it!)

[Osforia]

What do you call a careful Wolf? 

Aware wolf 

[Rat Luv]

[Rowan Amore]

A wife sent her husband a romantic text message… She wrote: “If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you.” Her husband texted back: “I’m on the toilet, please advise.”

[Karl Herber]

19 hours ago, shireena1 said:

What do call a deer with no eyes?

No idea.

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no idea.

[TT120]

The World Health Organization just declared that dogs cannot carry the CoVid19 virus so they can be let out of quarantine.

 

Just to be clear, WHO let the dogs out.

[Ceka Cianci]

19 hours ago, shireena1 said:

What do call a deer with no eyes?

No idea.

I call it Venison

 

ETA: Oh wait, now I get it.. hehehe

Edited February 2, 2021 by Ceka Cianci

[TT120]

Did you heart about the sexy new pirate movie that just came out?

 

It's rated ARRRRR....

[Osforia]

Once I farted in an elevator.

It was wrong on so many levels.

[Ceka Cianci]

A man walks into a bar,  then takes two steps back and vigorously rubs his head and yells.. I hate when that happens!!

[TT120]

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?"

[Amina Sopwith]

A priest, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"

[Love Zhaoying]

Knock Knock

Who's there

Cheese

Cheese who

Cheese Whiz!

[Paul Hexem]

I was told I should get in touch with my feminine side. 

So I crashed my car!

[Rat Luv]

A white horse walks into a bar and the barman says, "I've got a whiskey named after you!"

The horse says, "What, 'Dave'? 🐴