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Orionsix
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There is no way to log in without people being able to find out that you are online...even if you block that visibility for people on your Friends list.  Or even if you have no friends at all.  It's possible for people you don't even know to determine that you are online.

There are only three ways you can be totally private.

  1.  Create an alt, a second account, and use it for when you vant to be alone.  Do not tell anyone who your alt is, and don't talk to any of your regular acquaintances or go to your normal hangouts.
  2. Use your normal account, but log in to the "Beta" grid, a version of Second Life used for product development and testing.
  3. Create your own private stand-alone region on your own computer with the free OpenSimulator software.  You can access this region with many SL-compatible viewers, and can even give your friends access to it.  But, while it will look very much like a Second Life region, and work the same way, it will not be connected to Second Life at all.
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As Lindal says, it isn't possible.  Anyone that is in the same group as you can look at the group and see all memebers that are online.  There are also ways for scripts to determine if any specific avatar is online or not.  Even if you appear offline to a Friend, if they IM you or offer you inventory then they would immediately know that you really are online.  There are likely more ways that I'm not even aware of. 

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