I'm rubbish at making friends

[Kat Pollemis]

Hello! I've had SL for 3 years but only been playing it for 2, I've only recently started coming back on so all my old friends have disappeared/ move on... I've always been rubbish at making friend's in the inWorld, I hate being the first to IM someone and hardly anyone IM's me.. All I do is shop around, explore places and sometimes stand in a music sim doing nothing, I need a friend/s.

I don't have anything to write in my profile either, :S

How can I be more approachable and chat to peoplee?!?

[Monti Messmer]

Hello, i am a shy person in both lifes, maybe not the best to give advise.

Search for places you are interested in, friendly people will say "hello, welcome ..." then you can start a chat about the location.

Most of my friends come from ballrooms. What to say ? "Hello, fancy a dance" - Obvious question :matte-motes-wink:

If you like a club (location, music...) keep coming back until people recognize you then they will start talking; not working always but most.

Shopping might not be the best way to make friends. Everyone is busy looking around waiting for rezz ...

Monti

[Sidnella Riler]

empty profiles, give the impression that you are an ALT hiding from his/her other SL  life so to speak, and so people stays away from them, write whatever comes to mind, about you, what do you like to do? click the interests, and when you are standing around, make picks, with a picture of where you are in, and maybe writing your thoughts at that moment, anything that makes people wants to know more about you really

[Celestiall Nightfire]

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Kat Pollemis wrote:

I don't have anything to write in my profile either,

How can I be more approachable and chat to peoplee?!?

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Hello, Kat!   The other SL residents here in this thread have given you some really good advice, and I'll add a little more too.

I suggest writing something very direct in your profile like this:

"HI!  I love to meet new people, if you'd like to talk, send me an IM.    "

OR:  

"Hello, if you're looking at my profile, I'd love to hear from you.  Send me an IM or talk to me in chat. I'm friendly!"

Spell it out for them, tell people that you want them to IM you, that you love to meet new people, and that you're friendly. 

Also, take a critcal look at your own avatar, and compare it to those that look "friendly".   Try to make sure your avatar looks friendly and approachable.  By this I mean not scary, or agrressive.  

Good luck, and hope you soon have people talking to you inworld.   

[tastyempress Naxos]

i understand im in the same situation u can add me if u like

[Czari Zenovka]

I echo what everyone else has said about profiles.  When my profile was designed more for meeting people than it is now I regularly received IMs from people *because* they liked my profile. In SL there are a lot of people who enjoy reading profiles, affectionately referred to as "Profile Pervers" - this recent thread contains some great info about the types of things people like, or don't like, to see in profiles.

One area I see neglected a lot on profiles is the RL section.  Many people wish to keep their RL separate from SL and it is definitely unwise to put major identifiers in there but, as an example, years ago I had in my RL section that I loved rollercoaters.  I was asked to dance one evening.  The conversation began with the typical small talk until my dance partner made it to the RL section of my profile and exclaimed, "You love coasters??? I do too and have never met a woman who did!"  Thus began at least an hour discussion of the best coasters in the US, which ones we each had ridden, pros and cons of wooden coasters vs steel coasters, etc.  All from that one little RL interest I put on my profile and....

...that man became my SL partner of three years.

[Celestiall Nightfire]

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Czari Zenovka wrote:

One area I see neglected a lot on profiles is the RL section.  Many people wish to keep their RL separate from SL and it is definitely unwise to put major identifiers in there but, as an example, years ago I had in my RL section that I loved rollercoaters.  I was asked to dance one evening.  The conversation began with the typical small talk until my dance partner made it to the RL section of my profile and exclaimed, "You love coasters??? I do too and have never met a woman who did!"  Thus began at least an hour discussion of the best coasters in the US, which ones we each had ridden, pros and cons of wooden coasters vs steel coasters, etc.  All from that one little RL interest I put on my profile and....

...that man became my SL partner of three years.

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What a wonderful story of how RL and SL intersect!  Thank you for posting that rollercoaster bit....you've put  smile on my face.   : )

[Pamela Galli]

I thought at first she meant the singing group, then that she collected those things you set drinks on.

 

Are these guys the coolest EVAH???

 

 

I think I will put that in my profile.

[Syo Emerald]

I really agree with the profile thing! I have discovered that especially those people read profiles who are really interested in getting to know others. They are more fun to talk to than the average "hi ... how r u?"- guy/girl :cathappy:

I have made 3 new friends just because I was in the same group as they are and the wrote me an IM, because they found my profile to be interesting and friendly.

 

[Ren Toxx]

By all means, do fill up your profile a bit... I just wouldn't make it my first priority; especially if, after doing so, you kinda decide that 'ok, now that I have a good profile, I can really sit comfortably and wait for others to contact me without having to move a finger myself'. That would only compound the main problem, which is this:

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Kat Pollemis wrote: [...]

 I hate being the first to IM someone [...]

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[Pamela Galli]

Agree -- to make a friend you have to be a friend. 

[Burciaq]

I ve never made a close friend with a convo which started with "hi how r u etc." all the good ones strated with something written on my profile so you better write something about yourself there.