Shyness & SL - The terrible games your mind can play!

[Perrie Juran]

Reading back through this I was reminded of this, what I would call "great opening lines in literature."

From Tom Robbins 'Half Asleep In Frog Pajamas.'

Rather drunkenly, you contemplate the bad sign under which you are sure, you were brought forth. Although self-pity usually annoys you, you are mainlining a veterinary -sized syringe of it when it registers on you that Larry Diamond has left his station at the bar and is shuffling toward your table. How disgusting, you think. He walks like a derelict.

"How's it going, Larry?" asks Phil.

"Mr. Diamond, I presume," gushes Ann Louise. Suddenly, she is as bright as the tip of her little cigar.

Mr. Diamond ignores them both. He just stands there for while, shuffling in place, looking as loose as the collar around neck of eternity. Then, he says to you, "I'll wager you and I have something in common."

"Oh, I doubt that," you say. "I haven't been canned-----yet."

His grin is alarming in that it is simultaneously violent, generous, antagonistic and admiring. His red eyes, which resemble Spanish peanuts, dance demoniacally as they look you up and down.

"I didn't come over here to talk shop," he says. Then, grinning, he nods toward the spot where your dinner plate recently sat. "I ate asparagus, too," he confides. "Do you realize that for next five hours, our urine is going to smell exactly alike?"

[Jinx Requiem]

I have the same problem .. except y'know,

I can't actually will myself to message anyone or say anything in the open chat.

I'm a scaredy cat for the most part, haha.

 

- Snowfox.

[Czari Zenovka]

An intriguing thought came to me as I read your post, Jewels.  I am not shy at all, in fact I'm one of the approximately 2% of the population who LOVES public speaking; I am energized when I can stand in front of an audience and...well, speak.  I'm the type person in RL who starts conversations with strangers in grocery store lines.  Have you ever noticed that when people get on elevators they tend to stand a bit stiffly and look blankly at the door, never glancing right nor left?  Enter Czari who begins talking generically to whomever wishes to answer.  That seems to freak people for some reason. 

Now although I am outgoing, I am not an extrovert. After all these years I recently realized I had been equating "introvert" with "shy" which isn't the case at all.  I am an introvert in the sense that I am energized by alone time whereas extroverts are energized by being with people.  My preference in socializing is with one person at a time or, at most, 4 total - including me. 

So back to the thought that came to me while reading your post - in 5+ years of being in SL I have never initiated a random conversation or even a random "Hi."  By this I mean starting a conversation with someone outside of an "activity."  I take a lot of classes and greet fellow classmates; when I worked at a club years ago I welcomed customers, etc., but have never begun a conversation with anyone outside of these parameters.  This provides food for contemplation since in RL I talk to random people I encounter all the time.  The only difference that comes to mind at the moment is that when I log into SL it is generally with a purpose - to build, work on my store, take a class, go to a specific activity, etc.  When I'm not doing any of those but still in SL then I'm usually in my SL home maybe listening to the radio while weeding out inventory or chatting with one of my good friends.

I admire you and others like you, Jewels, for wanting to overcome your natural shyness to reach out to people.  It's ironic that I don't have a shy bone in my body but in SL I am focused on "goals" and don't engage in the type of random talk that is second nature for me in RL.

Thank you for posting this.

 

[Revlyn Zackerly]

Haha, I know how you feel. Though, I don't initiate conversation. I'm the loner-type that just sits by herself in a corner until someone else finally starts a conversation with me. lol.

[Anita61 Anatine]

I'm just the same...

[Rival Destiny]

Oh I love that!!!!

Thanks for sharing.

Rival