CaerolleClaudel
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Posts posted by CaerolleClaudel
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1 minute ago, Love Zhaoying said:
The original post / topic question is delightfully..naive?
Most who've been in the Forums long, probably have noticed that many, many users admit to either portraying a "different gender" on their Main avatar / accounts, or their Alts.
If all these people admittedly portraying a "different gender" were not "good at" it, probably they wouldn't be doing it.
Could be another thread that's just innocently trying to get discussion going..? (Versus the threads nefariously trying to get discussion going.)
My take is that the question was a sincere one based on a genuine feeling that I will not name, whether I am right or wrong, as the OP did not state the feelings behind the question (IIRC).
However, if nothing else I love the take that @Scylla Rhiadra had on the more generalized context (if I understand her correctly) of gender essentialism and how it is expressed, read, and policed.
FWIW
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5 minutes ago, Amina Sopwith said:
I might be prepared to talk about it in IM but for obvious reasons it wouldn't be public!
I meant me, not anyone else, lol. I do not know that I have interacted with you enough for you to have a read, though. But if you do, would love to hear it here or in DM. I am not really emotionally invested in the answer, so don’t worry. Just bemused, lol. And do not feel pressured to answer, of course!! If you would rather not, again, not at all emotionally invested in whether you do or not. Just curious. 🤗
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4 minutes ago, CaerolleClaudel said:
Guesses on request?
And wow, my photo looks soooo tired compared with the wired ones I see people using now!! 😳
Perhaps I should just use a RL photo? Or is that frowned on, or even forbidden??? 🤔
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1 minute ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:
Well, yes!
But this is the origin of the extremely questionable belief, still held by many, that a hypersexualized or hyperfeminine avatar must, of course, be run by a man in RL.
I know lots of RL women who are hypersexualized and hyperfeminine. It's a thing.
When I was actively in-world, I knew a lot of women who claimed they could tell with 99% accuracy when women avis were fronted by men. Once-upon-a-time I would have mostly agreed with them, esp at the places I frequented. The biggest clue: always wanted...hmmm, probably cannot say it here, do not want to get the thread locked on you guys. Anyone who is curious is free to DM me though...
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5 hours ago, Amina Sopwith said:
I never say it when it happens, but there have been a few people on the forum whom I suspected were gender bending and I turned out to be right.
Guesses on request?
And wow, my photo looks soooo tired compared with the wired ones I see people using now!! 😳
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13 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:
things like emoticons or more "gushing" chat tended to be used by men who were trying to pass as women, rather than reflecting how women actually talk
Wow, I guess people who do not directly interact with me IRL tend to think of me as a man, lol. I love the crap outta emojis (and emoticons if emojis are not available, boo hiss), and even use them in my emails at work. 😄😄😄 (Oh no, just confirmed I am a DUDE!! *giggles*)
NOTE: J-O-K-I-N-G OF COURSE!! I know what you mean, just funny wrt me, to me.
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16 minutes ago, Sammy Huntsman said:
I know this may be controversial, but when it comes to all that. I simply don't care about celebrities' personal lives. I mean they are human and should be afforded the same privacy as us. But anyways, celebrities mean jack poop to me. I only like them for what they do. Whether it act, sing, make music, etc.
I have found that usually I do not want to know much about famous people I admire. Literary and visual artists are mostly horrible people, IME and IMO….
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13 minutes ago, Sam1 Bellisserian said:
Funny, I suggested such a thing and it was squashed pretty fast by most of the forum regulars as not a viable option. Anyone can make a discord channel though an invite others to join it.
Yes, the problem is that the person would probably have to be one of the Forum icons, not some nobody like me with no friends lol. PET PEEVE: I have spent a fair amount of time trying to find Discord servers of interest to me with absolutely zero success. The one server on which I am active belongs to an author I follow. I love it a lot, but out of the billions of servers it is the only one I frequent.
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1 minute ago, Solar Legion said:
On this ....
One - Second Citizen and its revival - Second Citizen MK. II is indeed gone. The other - Second Life Universe - was rebranded/relaunched as VirtualVerse One.
PET PEEVE: I do not know what that is like and am too lazy to go look.
Would you might just a short summary of what it is like?
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10 minutes ago, Cinnamon Mistwood said:
@CaerolleClaudel im not sure whether to put a like or a sad face on that. Forums are especially nice for introverts. We don't have to speak in real time and can gracefully step away when needed. No one sees our eye rolls. I made most of my inworld friends here.
I firmly believe that most introverts need to be adopted by an extrovert or we will never leave the house. I lost my extrovert a couple years ago when they moved away. Definitely a homebody now.
Sorry for hijacking your other post, I wondered if I was banned and was testing that. Probably getting to the end of this time back on the Forums, lol.
I dunno, I do have a lot of places I liked to go in the past, even with introvert friends or even by myself. I just got used to going to see movies by myself (not a fan of Hollywood movies, prefer indie/small/art films) and out to eat at non-Midwestern restaurants (I find ‘ethnic’ to be a bad term, but have never found a better one…). My mental health has just gotten far worse over the last couple years and I have no motivation for much of anything except reading and the internet.
Some of the reason I am posting here now is to get a little social interaction, but honestly I far prefer interacting in human space. I can be really extroverted one-on-one. More than two other people is far too much though. I guess I like online discussions because I can have 1:1 with individual people even on a site that has a lot of people (such as here or Discord). However, the biggest reason is that I am finding some sub-threads here quite interesting, and am enjoying the absence of personal attacks. One outcome of whatever LL is doing with the forum now, I suppose, lol.
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8 minutes ago, Cinnamon Mistwood said:
@CaerolleClaudel im not sure whether to put a like or a sad face on that. Forums are especially nice for introverts. We don't have to speak in real time and can gracefully step away when needed. No one sees our eye rolls. I made most of my inworld friends here.
I firmly believe that most introverts need to be adopted by an extrovert or we will never leave the house. I lost my extrovert a couple years ago when they moved away. Definitely a homebody now.
Apparently all my posts are blocked…was just trying to ask for specific book from Scylla’s rec and no matter what I did it would not go through, kept going to hidden. As far as I know there were no bad words or nothing vulgar in it…
PET PEEVE: This nonsense is why I left the Forums the last time.
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12 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:
Goodness, Caer, of course I didn't take it that way!
I'd totally say the Decameron is "real" literature. And Pope definitely has some good dirty bits too, especially in The Rape of the Lock!
One of the things that I occasionally teach is libertine literature, especially Aphra Behn (who was the first professional woman writer in English). It's absolutely scabrous, a lot of it, but really fascinating and clever, especially if you are interested (as oddly enough I am) in the evolution of cultural perceptions of women's sexuality.
And now I'd better shut up for a while. 🙂
Wow, tried to ask which book to start with, and no matter what I do it goes to hidden. My biggest PET PEEVE, the same reason I left the Forums in the past, is that kind of stuff. Ridiculous.
I guess I will see if this gets through. Perhaps I am banned…
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12 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:
Goodness, Caer, of course I didn't take it that way!
I'd totally say the Decameron is "real" literature. And Pope definitely has some good dirty bits too, especially in The Rape of the Lock!
One of the things that I occasionally teach is libertine literature, especially Aphra Behn (who was the first professional woman writer in English). It's absolutely scabrous, a lot of it, but really fascinating and clever, especially if you are interested (as oddly enough I am) in the evolution of cultural perceptions of women's sexuality.
And now I'd better shut up for a while. 🙂
Which book by Aphra Behn is best to start with? I see a lot of (banned word???) listed on Amazon..
Thanks! 😋
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6 minutes ago, Cinnamon Mistwood said:
You should go chime in over there. I love non-reactionary responses to questions. Some people take everything as a personal attack or a comment from some perceived moral high ground when it's not. The instant defensiveness is tiring and does not get questions answered. Oh, that's a PEEVE to stay on the topic of the thread.
Also, peeve: I wish I enjoyed classic literature more, but I read fantasy, sci-fi, and the occasional trashy romance.
I avoid those threads, or posts that come up related to the Life in non-BDSM-specific threads for those reasons. I just stay out of it. I seriously hate conflict and just give up.
I like love and read a lot of what seems to be colloquially known as ‘classics’ these days, as in one English literature, from Chaucer up through modern times. My faves are generally 19th century novels by women, though. Also, I read loads of lesbian fantasy, lesbian romance, contemporary literary fiction (a lot of which, esp best sellers, seems to me not far above some genre literature I read). My TBR is pretty large, lol.
If I did not have to work I would spend most of my time reading. It helps that I have no friends IRL, so spend all my time doing stuff alone, I suppose. I have always been a bookworm, and usually only had one or two friends, though I was really close with those. The last few years I have had none, so more time to pursue solitary interests.
ETA: To keep on-topic, my PET PEEVE is that I do not have more time to read!!! Related PET PEEVE is that I resent not being financially independent so I can spend all my time pursuing my own interests!!
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Sorry, really only came her today to pull out that rec of the old English writer that Scylla mentioned. 😳
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I wish there was a Discord server for people from here to meet up and have discussions that while moderated, was more moderated to quash personal attacks and discussions that got too heated and were obviously not going to resolve, just get worse. My understanding is that a separate forum outside LL used to exist, but degenerated and died.
I would just like to have more adult conversations, and not the ‘talk like you are talking to your Grandma’ restrictions. Some of the word and topics that used to be autobanned were just ridiculous to me.
FWIW.
Oh, and please, someone call me out if I am at all saying things that might get this thread locked. I would feel horrible about that, and would rather stop posting than risk destroying this place people love. I have a lot of personal experience on the receiving end of that, and do not want to visit it on others.
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2 hours ago, Seicher Rae said:
This and ditto. My timing of returning kinda sucked.
I'm not leaving, but "fading fast" indeed. I like the techie threads, to scan and learn (or try to), but I have little if anything to contribute. Apparently BDSM in SL is becoming the new "must show up in every thread by largely uneducated but loudly opinionated" folks. I don't have the energy to take on that onslaught, and as that is something that is fundamental to me, the constant onslaught has a negative effect on my health. Rome fell. Everything has a season and a time. The last of the old forum community is hanging tightly to the leadened, late winter, branches of the place.
Bright note: I'm glad I returned when I did, because I got the biggest prize of all from this venture into the Forums.
Sorry for the bulk quote…
I find pretty much all BDSM posts here make my eyeballs roll over in my head. IMO just such bad clueless takes. Just makes me sad. I know people have extremely different ways of conceiving BDSM (even how they pull things out of the acronym) and highly divergent feelings about it, with a lot of people repulsed, I just hate to see misinformation out there, and people reacting based on superficial understanding of the practices and the community (which I realize is quite divergent itself).
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6 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:
While I'm sure you're right, Persephone, that it would be possible to produce interesting threads that stay within the guidelines and get some engagement (we've had a few, in fact, already) . . . we are reaching, I think, a point of diminishing returns.
I put a fair amount of thought and care into the threads I start. I'm sure others do too. And I try to "curate" them for at least the first few pages, answer each post, etc. I put some work into them, in other words.
But I don't know that there's the critical mass of interested posters here anymore to make that very worthwhile. How long can interest be sustained, given the low level of engagement we're seeing here now?
In addition to which . . . how do we produce enough "interesting" threads to keep people here, or coming back? Divvy up the responsibility? Produce a kind of duty roster?
I'm not just dismissing your idea. I'm not walking away from the GD quite yet (although I feel it's taken a few steps away from me, to be honest), and I'm sure I will try to start a few new threads over time.
I just don't know that a few threads here and there that are "fun" and "interesting" are going to be enough.
There are people here who seem quite happy with the current state of affairs. They have every right to be; there is no reason that my preferences should have priority over theirs. Maybe it's best, in the long term, to let those who are enjoying the "new normal" here . . . enjoy it?
Sorry for the bulk-quote, my iPad will not let me quote just part.
I totally agree with you. And I think I have told you many times that when I have ever come back to take a look at the Forums I always search for you and look through your posts to find some interesting discussions. I love your deep, well-considered, well-written posts. I guess part of the reason I like your posts, too, is that my values and interested are aligned with yours in a lot of ways. You are far braver, smarter, more well-informed, and a far better writer than i am, so you say a lot of the things I think but will not post.
So, you have always been a big reason I come to the Forums, and I have appreciated your threads and your posts. Sad that important discussions are no longer allowed, but given my past experience with the Forums, and the drama I saw over a long stretch recently, I am not in the least surprised.
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11 hours ago, Persephone Emerald said:
Peeve #1: I haven't been able to go inworld for the last 3 days because my computer is in the shop. My friend kindly lent me his, but I'm not using it because it would never be able to run SL even if the password he gave me for it did work.
Peeve #2: People on these forums complaning about how boring they are instead of posting threads that could be interesting. I know most of you are smart enough to figure out topics that are SL related or to figure out ways to dance around the current restrictictions.
Peeve #3: I enjoy these forums sometimes more than I enjoy SL itself. The 2 platforms are related, but they're different for me. I tend to not be very social in SL, but if I can compare these forums to inworld groups, the forums are like group chat on steroids. Many of you are clever and funny. Some are kinda weird or irritating. But this diverse group feels like family.
On my iPad, somehow will not let me quote just part, sorry.
Related to #3, to me the Forums are a lot of what I lost in SL that made me leave. The places I loved closed and the people I knew left, and I could not find new places or people to talk to. Really, most of what I loved about SL was the social interactions. I tried new places, but people would not talk to new people, and people quickly moved to talking in IM to their clique instead of talking in chat like they mostly did the first several years I was in SL.
Interacting with others is the whole point of the Forums, and I always found it far easier to have conversations here. In the end, I got frustrated with how uptight the autoeditor was here, and the moderation that combined made the Forums so prudish. And also the policing of the photo threads by 2-3 people. But to me the Forum is still better than SL for my interests.
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3 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:
Goodness, Caer, of course I didn't take it that way!
I'd totally say the Decameron is "real" literature. And Pope definitely has some good dirty bits too, especially in The R*pe of the Lock!
One of the things that I occasionally teach is libertine literature, especially Aphra Behn (who was the first professional woman writer in English). It's absolutely scabrous, a lot of it, but really fascinating and clever, especially if you are interested (as oddly enough I am) in the evolution of cultural perceptions of women's sexuality.
And now I'd better shut up for a while. 🙂
Thanks for the rec!! I will look into her.
And at least you have added to the forum post count!
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Just now, Scylla Rhiadra said:
Ah, but it's not . . . well, ok, it IS crude and vulgar, some of it. Martial, Catullus, Petronius, Ovid, even Lucretius, all have very nice filthy bits (so to speak), but it's also really interesting and artful stuff. Even if it is crude and vulgar.
I'm sorry, I did not mean to imply that it wasn't artful. Sexual, sensuous, lusty stuff can be arty, at least to me (I love the Decameron, but perhaps that is not really literature, is more popular fiction, just old?), it was the word 'filthy' that sort of led me off in the direction I went. I never could get through a lot of Pope because of the endless couplets, but I guess he had some really clever and creative naughty stuff. Shakespeare's sonnets, lots of very sexual stuff that is considered art.
Anyhow, I apologize, I did not mean to demean the things you liked, sorry...
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Just now, Scylla Rhiadra said:
Well, especially the absolutely filthy bits, of course. (And there are a surprisingly large number of those!)
I had no idea. I never had much interest in the classics. I would guess humans being humans though every culture had its crude, vulgar (in our sense of the word, not the Latin one lol) and prurient visual and written communication.
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2 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:
Thank goodness! There are deck chairs that need rearranging! 😏
I'd probably be more inclined to play in the band.
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1 minute ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:
I HATED Old English. I still hate Old English.
BUT I actually quite enjoyed learning Latin. It's a very regular and logical language, and once one has grasped the foundational concepts, it's mostly a matter of memorizing the vocabulary, and handful of "special cases" or idiomatic usages. Latin is the only language I've ever done really well at in school.
Sadly, my Latin is pretty rusty now, but I can still, as occasion requires (and it sometimes does) claw my way through a passage with a dictionary and my battered copy of Wheelock to hand.
PS. Roman literature is WONDERFUL.
I am glad you liked Latin and that you enjoyed Roman literature! 🤗
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If you use an avatar of a gender you are not, are you good at portraying that gender?
in General Discussion Forum
Posted
That’s fair! Sorry if I put you on the spot. I feel that you likely have a much better idea about Forum regulars than you would with someone like me whose participation is extremely episodic, lol.