Have you ever had a midget lookalike who happened to be a gay porn star and was eaten by a badger?

[Ishtara Rothschild]

An odd question, isn't it? But this is a Friday thread, and that's exactly the kind of situation that TV chef Gordon Ramsay found himself in. His mini-me, who turned out to be an up-and-coming gay porn star (no pun intended), was found dead and partially eaten in a badger's den. The badger is still at large.

Apparently, Mr. Ramsay didn't take the news well and reacted with road rage. Tragic. How would you react in his situation? Has something like this actually happened to you and you would like to talk about it? And do you think that people with a badger fetish should be tall enough to fight off an angry badger? Discuss.

[Jesica Dragovar]

man if I had a nickle for every time that happened to me

[Maryanne Solo]

I will admit to being totally confuciosed by this event..

Was he badgering the badger or was the badger badgering him?

I thought the two types got along famously up until now :smileyindifferent:

[Ishtara Rothschild]

The two types? You mean badgers and midget porn stars? I have to admit, I don't have the sightest idea how well they typically get along. It probably depends on the species (of the badger, that is, not the midget). Honey badgers, for example, can be quite vicious and aggressive. But what would a honey badger be doing in Tregaron, West Wales? This is one mysterious case :matte-motes-bored: 

[Sy Beck]

I don't think that's happened to me, but I've asked my diary secretary to check back. 

I do know though that if there's one animal you definitely don't want to mess with then it's a honey badger.  It's mental mindset is usually set at a level somewhere between demonic beast of Hell and a psychotic on angeldust.  There is literally nothing this animal won't try to eat, however big, venomous or aggressive it may be.  They have been known to kill bulls, take numerous venomous bites from snakes and then eat the snake before going into a temporary coma to shrug off the venom.

Men beware though, when honey badgers decide to chow down on a human male they are reported to leap straight for the groin area and once those powerful jaws close then your meat is on a one way street to badger faeces.

And if the narrator of this video is a dwarf I think I've neatly tied it all together.

[Venus Petrov]

Badgers are fierce beasties.  I was born in the 'Badger State' so I have heard a thing or three about them.  They should not be featured in petting zoos.  Take care when hand feeding one (you may lose your hand).

Do not be surprised if Mr. Ramsay develops an entree featuring badger.  It is but one small way to cope with the loss.

[Ishtara Rothschild]

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Sy Beck wrote in part:

Men beware though, when honey badgers decide to chow down on a human male they are reported to leap straight for the groin area and once those powerful jaws close your meat is on a one way street to badger faeces.

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Well, they didn't say which part of Mr. Ramsay's pint-sized doppelganger was eaten It might have been a honey badger after all.

[Ishtara Rothschild]

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Venus Petrov wrote in part:

Badgers are fierce beasties.  I was born in the 'Badger State' so I have heard a thing or three about them.  They should not be featured in petting zoos.  Take care when hand feeding one (you may lose your hand).

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I've always thought there should be punching zoos too, with all the ugly animals that nobody in their right mind would want to pet. A couple badgers would be a great addition to a punching zoo.

[Storm Clarence]

This reads more like a 'headline' from Forum Confidential.  I am glad to see you brought some of their 'edge' here.    

[Nyll Bergbahn]

lol Ishtara, did you fall for this fake story too? It's a load of nonsense by an organisation than has a habit of making up stories although no doubt it will roll on for ages on internet sites.

 

[Melita Magic]

All I could think was, "this sounds like a very bad video game."

[Void Singer]

reminds me of another dwarf that people thought was eaten by a canadian trapdoor alligator.... (but eventually turned out to be ok, only to end up torn to piece by crazed nekos at a convention)