Script Shark, the love of my life died yesterday.

[Billysue Bluebird]

He was a friend, I used to have a little skybox demo store there in 2010 or so . im sorry

[Vryl Valkyrie]

Looking back over old SL memories brings me to a song that I wrote many years ago, shortly after I met Paul (Script Shark). I filmed it in Kowloon in SL because it was one of our favorite places to go.

I wrote this song so many years ago but it seems the person who I wrote it for was Paul, except at the time I did not that until he died April 19, 2024. Love and miss you so very much baby!

Although other artists have recorded my song, and did well, in addition to me also doing my own recording of my original song, I still prefer this one best (performed by Mel Cheeky), who has the most amazing voice.

The story behind the song is that I was sitting on the toilet one day with the lights off, just relaxing, doing nothing serious (if you know what I mean). These words and melody just sorta came to me. That is how Evoke was born.

It's about a place that exist within us all. But in my little vision of it as I wrote the song, it was a kind of place in 1800's England., walking down a lonely cobblestone street on a rainy, foggy,  hazy night. It's about a love that may or may not exist. This person needing, wanting it so much that she evokes him into her life. It's not a witchy song even if it may sound that way. It's just all about want, desire, need and believing in something, or someone so hard that it happens. Evoke.

 

But in the end it is Paul that I "evoke".

"Evoke"

I'm falling to a place inside my soul
It's lonely.. far from your heart
I'm searching through the remnants of my mind

Bridge: its cold outside... its dark inside... i'm bleeding

I'm broken.. imprisoned by my fears
Forsaken.. lost somewhere in tears
I'm dying... haunted by the years

Bridge: its cold outside... its dark inside... i'm bleeding

I'm guilty.. drowning in my sin
I'm blinded... unable to see the light
My sorrow.... enslaves me to the night

Bridge: its cold outside... its dark inside... i'm bleeding

I evoke you... i evoke you into my heart
I evoke you... i evoke you into my dreams
I evoke you... i evoke you into my life.. my heart... my mind... my soul..

 

 

 

Edited April 22 by Vryl Valkyrie
added a sentence

[jimbo Attis]

Words alone cannot express my condolences to you on your loss or ease the pain in your heart. Remember the good times and know that one day you will be with him again.

[Luna Bliss]

Keeping you in my prayers, Vryl.

[Vryl Valkyrie]

Thank you Luna. I'm having a hard time. I don't want to log out of his sandbox but then I practically pass out. I tried to rebuild the sandbox back similar to how he had it.  Doctor offered me sleeping pills but for now I'll pass. Seriously all the love I'm getting from you and others helps a lot. I don't know what I would do without you all. SL community is amazing. Love you all.

[Vryl Valkyrie]

I Just received an official confirmation in my mail of his death. Devastated.

Edited April 25 by Vryl Valkyrie
removed screenshot

[NakedSummer]

I'm so, soo sorry *big warm hugs* I love Adult Sandbox. I was wondering why it looked different, so I was going to send him a message, and then saw that you owned it, and read your profile, and I am just in shock. I knew I could always rely on it being there. Obviously I care way more about you and him than the location in SL. I'm just so so sorry hun.

If there's anything I can do to help, please just let me know.

Love

[Vryl Valkyrie]

Thank you NakedSummer. I was devastated at the news of his death and basically just destroyed everything. I wanted a rollback but it took too long to process the ticket so the 72 hour time expired. I've tried to rebuild it in the same "feel" as he liked but it's not a carbon copy of course. Sorry for that. I had a few of his prims in my inventory so I used them as the foundation for the new build. Maybe eventually when I feel better and have more energy I can do better and try to recreate the ambience of Script Shark at Adult Sandbox.

I remember when the Lindens first rolled out Sondraman. There was a land rush because the prices were lowered and there were extra prims. Paul was originally going to get this tiny little spot nowhere near water until I showed him the location of Adult Sandbox. I said hurry Paul before someone else grabs it. At first there was a struggle to get it. The Linden wasn't going to let him have it but then eventually did, mostly surrounded by protected waters. That's the humble beginnings of Adult Sandbox. He did have other land in the past, private and mainland both. But he owned Adult Sandbox the longest so this will be his final SL resting place. 

Paul was good at taking care of people he cared about. He took care of so many. I tried to take care of him in my own way but honestly he mostly took care of me.

A lot of people will mourn the loss of Paul. 

I had decided that once I was better and out of the hospital that I've been in for the past year, that I was finally ready to take the big leap after all these years because life is just so short.  We decided that we would live together part-time here in France (which is what he wanted for all the years anyway) I was afraid if we lived together full-time we might get on each others nerves. Sadly that didn't happen.

I nearly died last year. I thought I would die before him.  But none of that makes our relationship any less real. Living together is not what determines the nature and intensity of a relationship. The fact that we were together all these years, even long distance is a testimony to that very love that we shared, even beyond death.

I think a 20 year friendship and an 18 year romance is something whether we lived together or not. It may not seem like much but I do take great comfort that at least in SL we were partnered. He was and still is my everything and always will be. You know it's real when someone just loves you unconditionally despite your flaws or what you look like or how you change as you age because we all do. Love is blind, at least for us it was and still is and it is eternal.

I was a co-owner in his groups as he was in mine so that way if anything happened I or he could take the property. This was what Paul and I wanted. I claimed his properties once I knew he died. 

Once again thanks to all the love and support from the Adult Sandbox patrons, from my SL friends and from the general SL community. You guys are all amazing and I love you.

Our love might sound complicated. But for us, it was just natural.

The only thing that really mattered to us is that we loved each other. Even when I got so sick and even gained weight from a rare form of lymphedema, Paul would just say, you're still Ginger. The love and care is there. We are soulmates so that can never change. He was coming to visit me at the hospital very soon but then life happened. He's been with me during the whole time at the hospital, calling me several times every single day. He even spoke to the doctors a few times.  I'm just devastated.

I just miss and love him so much.

Edited April 26 by Vryl Valkyrie
adding more

[Stephanie Misfit]

5 hours ago, Vryl Valkyrie said:

I think a 20 year friendship and an 18 year romance is something whether we lived together or not. It may not seem like much but I do take great comfort that at least in SL we were partnered. He was and still is my everything and always will be. You know it's real when someone just loves you unconditionally despite your flaws or what you look like or how you change as you age because we all do. Love is blind, at least for us it was and still is and it is eternal.

 

I think a lot of us here do understand the significance of the partnerships, especially long term ones, that are formed in SL. Not all SL relationships are just roleplay, many of them are as real as any other relationship. 20 years is longer than a lot of marriages. I hope you know that in SL, you can be surrounded by people who actually get it.

[Vryl Valkyrie]

I don't have access to my older photos and recordings since I'm on a new pc in the hospital. I did find this old recording from over 15 years on my old youtube channel. We were doing a mock up interview about whether SL was a game or not. He said no and at that time I said yes. We tried to do this for hours and kept messing up so finally I gave up and said let's just do it and post it even though it's a big blooper. Had trouble hearing his voice. The original video is still there but this version I have tried to re-master. It's not the best and there is noise and humming but at least his voice is audible. 

We had fun doing this.  Miss him so much! We had a lot of fun together. We also cried together. We fought too. But most importantly we loved together and each other.

I'm actually embarrassed how stupid I sounded back then. Yes, I said real life back then because everyone did.

Script was right and I was obviously wrong in this very funny and poorly done mock up interview about whether Second Life is a game or not.

 

 

 

Edited April 26 by Vryl Valkyrie

[Vryl Valkyrie]

On a completely different note. As I mentioned I nearly bled to death last year and because of that ended up in the hospital. Hemoglobin was 6.1 and gfr was 16. It was a near death experience. Paul helped me to be strong. I've been in the hospital for a year. I was about to be transferred to a rehab center before returning to hospital again for surgery. Now today the results of my uterus and cervical biopsy were returned. Cervix looks ok but because of the hemorrhaging they couldn't get a good result for all of the biopsies of the uterus. An expert said some of the endometrium tissue looked ok but other wasn't sure. He said either cancer or precancer but didn't know because too much blood in tissue. The thing is, I'm not even afraid. I will be strong because I know that's what Paul would want. Whatever happens, happens. I'm hoping for the best but I do have symptoms. My ca 125 is 38 and yes that's slightly elevated but doesn't mean cancer. My ca 19.9 is 266 so that's very elevated. I've also got swollen lymph nodes but that doesn't mean cancer either. Doctor wants to induce temporary menopause with decapeptyl 11.25 injection. I don't know if I will agree to that because I don't how hormone therapy will treat possible endometrial cancer. I just don't think I really want to deal with all the side effects of that either. I just wish Paul was here now more than ever. He was always great at reassuring me and guiding me with good advice. I guess at some point they will do another biopsy and ultrasound but that wasn't clear either. On a good note my kidneys gfr is now 52. My hemoglobin is 11.5 so that's much better than a year ago for sure. My iron saturation did go down to 10% but they said it's from the hemorrhaging for one month after the biopsy. I guess I bled so long and was so painful because they accidentally cut something, I don't know. That's what they said. They wanted to do an iron infusion but I said no.  I really don't have any negative vibe that things are going to go downhill but if they do, it's all ok. 

I just wanted to share my day with ya'll. Hope that's ok. Normally I would tell Paul but he's not here. Thanks for listening. hugs

Once again, special thanks to all the love and support from SL community.

 

[PheebyKatz]

I'm deeply sorry for your loss, I've lost a couple of people I love this month, too.

Not knowing what your personal beliefs are I don't know what I could say to make anything better, without possibly sounding stupid or offensive, but everything in me just wants to tell you that he will always be with you no matter what, and you will always be held in his love.

For what it's worth you'll both be in my prayers, and I believe with all my heart that you will see him again someday, where you will never have to part.