Looking back on 3 years SL...

[Alicia Sautereau]

Been watching and just had to reply now as i`m guilty of doing the dissapearing act because of rl and boredom :matte-motes-bashful-cute-2:

You can only give what you can give, if people expect more from you with no returns, they are simply leechers(material or emotional, same crap)
I`ve given to a few people with no expectations what so ever and still do at my, SLob?
I`d do it for free as something to do and help residents with no emotional attachements under "support" tag  unlike when helping a random person directly

I`ll stop typing here :matte-motes-wink-tongue:

[Sonja Smedley]

Hey!

Yes I remember you well, you helped me out in the past and I am still very thankful that I met you...and yes suddenly you dissapeard.But I see you always at the forum here and I hope you are doing well, we had some nice talks and somehow I miss it.:smileyhappy:

[Sephina Frostbite]

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ImaTest wrote:

When I give freely from the heart, regardless of what it is I am giving, I set no expectations of a return, of any sort. A lesson I learned in rl a very, very long time ago. When there are expectations of a return on the part of the giver, the giving wasn't done freely.

That probably sounds a bit more harsh than it should, but I still find it to be the best philosophy when it comes to relationships with others. No matter how big, small, long or short, if I stick to this philisophy there is never any disappointment on my end. If I don't, I leave room for possible disappointment. When that happens, I don't feel so good about myself. Knowing I cannot control the actions, thoughts, feelings or words of another, I stick to controlling my own.

I cherish the friends I make. I cherish the ones who stick around as much as the ones who up and leave. It's not often a person just ups and leaves with no clue, or warning, they intend to do so. It happens, but not often. We usually just choose to ignore any clues, or warnings. Usually because we have an invested interest in the person. The invested interest is because of the expectations we set.

So, that's my advice, don't set expectations. Life life freely. Give of yourself freely. Let the world give itself to you as freely as it wishes. Be happy with what you receive in return. Don't focus, worry or even think about what you're not getting in return. You'll only disappoint yourselves. Others aren't the ones disappointing you, it'syour expectations letting you down. A relationship that has expectations on either side, isn't an equal relationship at all, imo.

A rough life lesson to learn, yes, but if I hadn't learned it, I'd still be a very bitter man. I was left a very long time ago to raise a newborn son, by someone I had no reason to believe would ever leave, much less leave her son. I was angry, for a long time, then I realized how pointless it was to be angry. I can either accept this, or not. But either way, I had a life to live, and a life to raise. Since then, I've eliminated my expectations in others and simply taken life, and people, as they come. Life is much happier now.

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I have also learned that lesson as well. You put it into words beautifully.

[Poenald Palen]

There is no answer to what you seek. There might not even be a "place" at the end of seeking. Surely there is death and unkowable things. So, you take your chances and try to learn from others experiences. This may be a quest in of itself, to seek knowledge.

I have none, but basically people must be different because the whole world is changing. It is a function of life. Without movement, we are dead. Movement means variation. Variation invariable leads to incompatability when you have something like humans beings, who delight in catagorizing and experiencing. Thus, there is no thus. Choas begats choas and we fight that for some unkowable reason, or maybe you believe in something as a reason and that is enough. But many of those beliefs do seem to also say you can not know the other side, but should not worry about some things. Others are worried about and we seem to see reasons for those worries, they program use to survive something....but since we are not allowed to choose anyway but to travel along a path of some sort because we are pushed along it by time itself....then, we worry and try to adjust or make as much choice as we can. You are living. You have the freedom to be hurt and the freedom to heal. This is valuable to you, if you value it. If not, then I can't tell you otherwise and I can't explain why your ability to react and interact freely could be imortant....I am not really sure any of us are really free in anyway and many seem to resemble an extremely complex member of an ant hill or termite mount. But, termites fixed the mound warming issue, evolved to be better defenders and survive so much they challange our very own shelters! So what if they are brainless maniac slaves! Ignorance is bliss.....maybe we should all chew on some 2 by 4's today and await our fate as the system takes us into a trash heap of ruined bombed cities instead of the matrix dream world people may wish for? yeah, things can be worse so enjoy yourself some and don't waste your time building up a massive memory of this person and letting them take over your mind.....but if I say that will you hate me because you WANT to remember, you want to learn.....you want to be upset? The ritual of being upset ='s learning ='s avoidance and successfully protecting oneself? I am good at cutting my self off....should be all start a mountain avatar club and live cut off from many people and disapear from all communications for months? If I do that, I wont tell you and if you do that you wont tell me, so what is there to discuss? Carry on.

[Poenald Palen]

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Pamela Galli wrote:

I try to pick friends that are much nicer and have far better character than I do. The mystery is why they seem to be okay being friends with me. 

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This statement is broad, your definition of freinds I mean. The strange thing is, if you think about it they could tell you to go away the minute you open your mouth and the choosing proccess for both of you is not linier or instantanious.

Maybe friendships are built, maybe the word friend is just misunderstood. Try arguing shakespear called himself and idiot and be shunned for it, unless you have a decade of talking under your belt. From the ridiculus to the succint, you have to read it all and slowly soak it in if you are slow like I am.

In fact, one of the only things I could have done fast was typing and other finger based stuff...now I simply fear losing my fingers a bit now and then...ironically form the tasks that may be the only thing I am good at. It is sad to be alive sometimes. But thoughts are a dime a dozen, even one word can waste hours of many peoples lives....even if they don't ponder that word it may lead to this happening anyway. This is why I like it that most people learn they are useless? But if they think words are useless....maybe I might not be able to fiind water in the future and die? But if they are useless to help me anyway, what point is the simpler and more understandable or basic subsistance vocab worth anyway? Bah, I don't even know the exact meaning of the word "subsistance" and don't remember what it includes....does it include spicy foods and TV or just grubs dug out of dirt and cooked in the sun under a magnifying glass and washed down with river water? Wiat, if thre is a river then why the grubs? Surely muscles taste better than grubs? Murcury poisening! Ah....knew something was present in the thinking....sad, slower than myself? Maybe just resourceful?

[Poenald Palen]

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Perrie Juran wrote:

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Pamela Galli wrote:

I try to pick friends that are much nicer and have far better character than I do. The mystery is why they seem to be okay being friends with me. 

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"Please accept my resignation. I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member".

Groucho Marx

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That was in regard to him being involved in a look alike club.....sort of more narrow than the broad meaning people expect it to mean. Strange story. He changed, didn't look exactly the same as well...I think, but reading up on it will surely lead to more wisdom than random babling drivel from me on a forum!