You are NOT alone! I feel most certain that I know the club you are talking about. I, too, saved logs of the chat in which this clubowner's language was absolutely uncalled for and I should have AR'd him for harrassment and anything else I could find in TOS.
He has banned me twice in approx 2 years - once for saying I was 'advertising', because I had a pick in my profile concerning some land that I was thinking of developing. I guess we are all supposed to clear out all of our picks if we want to go to his place, let alone be sure to remove any tags above our heads declaring that we belong to another club or own some property somewhere in SL. After reasoning the matter with him he did let me back in.
The second, final ban (final as I would not knowlingly, ever again, step foot on any property owned by him) was after a conversation in his group chat where someone directly asked me a question about a very hot topic at the time. I tried to direct the conversation out of the group as it had nothing to do with the club, the question was initiated due to a display name I was using at the time - it had the potential to lead to ugly discussions. That's when I received my tirade from this 'gent'. He IM'd me using the most vulgar language and informed me that he was banning me and 'my alts'. (I still wonder who he considers my alts and I hope some poor souls have not been banned on my behalf.) So much for 'class'.
SLIfe does go on, quite well actually, without any need for me to spend any money or time at this person's venues. There are plenty of other, deserving folks/places, who do not handle their clientele in that manner and who do understand that SL is a large and diverse place. Those are the places I choose to spend my time and money.
Should I have AR'd him? Probably so, but I do feel better having taken the high road. I kind of feel sorry for him actually...then again, ehhh, maybe not so much
Hope by sharing this, it helps you move forward and dissipate your anger. I was at that point too, until I realized that it really isn't all that important in the grand scheme of things. I'm in SL for entertainment, not for wasting time on people like him.