So an update on this, around an hour later. I went to install Lubuntu 17.04, the new release. Sounded just fine.
Installer couldnt connect to my wifi network, it was using a driver for a device i did not have and it did not function fully. That already was a bad sign.
So i said screw it, ill fix it later, im installing alongside windows xp anyway. Partition out a 20gb space for it and let it go to work. I didnt want to lose some windows only applications like AutoCAD, Sketchup, a few other bits of professional software i have. Midway through partitioning it crashes. Just freezes up, spits out some fancy xorg errors and my computer shuts down.
woop
Windows starts back up, disk checking, let it run, disk partitions are borked. Windows XP is broken beyond repair, i whipped my usb stick out a window. Posting this from my phone.
Ive installed linux on machines dozens of times and never had a detrimental error on install, definitely not while partitioning.
Fantastic. As it turns out most of the 3rd party viewers dont support bento anyway, and the Linux SL viewer is buggy as can be.
Im just gonna drop my Gt 710 in another somewhat newer athlon machine i have lying around that already has windows 7 on it (i think).