Death and grief ritual in second life

[MargieG]

Dear second life participants,

I have an avatar (or 2) and to be honest am pretty crap at it - call me technologically challenged if you will but I am a good writer (I hope) and would like to capture your experiences, ideas and attitudes about death ritual and grief in Second Life. So this initial forum post thread is about asking many of you if you would be willing to be part of a research project I am doing on death ritual and mourning in virtual worlds and communities.  I am an academic, a sociologist teaching and researching in School of Humanities, Griffith University, Australia.

I have published quite a lot on death, grief  and mourning in modern life. If you are over 18 years of age and willing to answer my specific research questions I would be very grateful and delighted Please feel free to respond to the forum threads I post or indeed feel free to email separately about this research. Hopefully this research will inform a  book publication on Virtual Cultures of Mourning and Memorialisation. 

regards and thanks, Margaret Gibson (MargieG)

 

[MargieG]

 

If so, what was it like? Did it move you? Who was it for?

Also, to give more context can you answer some or all of the following (only if you are comfortable with this information - otherwise you could email me separately

 

1. Your date of birth

2. What country you live in

3. How long you have been a member of Second Life

 

[Knotter Blogfan]

We now mourn the death of a poster called Void who has had her heart ripped out by Mister Linden.

Please return after the period of mourning.

It will be a long time.

Knot

[Knotter Blogfan]

It is difficult to email you if your email address has been deleted.

It is specifically allowed for you to advertise yourself with an email address in your signature so perhaps you wish to do that.

Knot

[MargieG]

Thanks Knot for replying - my email address: Margaret.Gibson@griffith.edu.au

 

Would love to hear more.... 

regards, MargieG

 

[MargieG]

 

Hi Knot - not sure what this means but story sounds intriguing. Do tell me more.

MargG

[Knotter Blogfan]

---

MargieG wrote:

 

Hi Knot - not sure what this means but story sounds intriguing. Do tell me more.

MargG

---

There used to be a Void in our Second Life.

Now there is a void where a Void used to be.

Look

here

and

here

.

Perhaps we have a wake.

Knot

[MargieG]

 

thanks for response and links. cheers, MargG

[Treasure Ballinger]

Hi, maybe a little clarification as to what you're looking for.   Are you speaking of when an avatar leaves Second Life?  Or, when someone dies in RL and you happen to know that and a memorial is held in SL, for the person who died in RL?  (whew that was complex).    Many times someone dies in RL and if no one tells us, and we have no RL connection, we have no way of knowing what happened to them.  All the SL memorials I"ve attended, were for people who died in RL, and, I had some RL connection with them at some level.   Their families or friends have held memorials in SL.  Of course it's moving.  Friends are friends.  You love them. 

[Scylla Rhiadra]

There was, at one point, a memorial chapel at Four Bridges for those who had died in RL (I believe).  Might I suggest that you contact millay Freschi in-world, and she should be able to provide some more information on it.

[Treasure Ballinger]

Or Mike Burleigh, owner of Remembering Our Friends, for an in depth look at this. 

[Perrie Juran]

If you do a search In World for "Memorial" you can find many places and groups under this category.

For instance, Remembering Our Friends,   "Since its inception in 2007, hundreds of plaques have been created to memorialize those who have passed. There is a story and real feeling behind each one. The the people come from all over the world, from many cultures, demographics, and lifestyles."

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Remembering%20Friends/91/129/21

And there is the 'official' Linden Memorial Park: 

http://wiki.secondlife.com/wiki/Linden_Lab_Official:Linden_Memorial_Park

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/San%20Michele/76/152/21

How we respond or react would or could be as varied as how people respond or react in RL.

Recently a well known and loved DJ passed away.  An evening at several clubs was dedicated to his memory with many DJ's playing the music they knew he loved best.  We celebrated the joy that he had brought us in SL with his love of music. 

Other than that, at least for me, it is a difficult question to answer.  Many people tend to keep their 1st life separated from their 2nd life and hence we'd have no way of knowing. 

I am only aware myself of one person that I knew in SL passing away (tragically in a car wreck) and it was six months after it happened that to my knowledge any of us who knew her found out.  We had already noticed her absence and missed her.  I guess we always will.  She was a bright spot in our lives.

 

[MargieG]

Thank you so much. This is very helpful and I will follow up links and suggestions.

kind regards, MargieG

[MargieG]

 

Brilliant - thank you.

[MargieG]

Hi, 

I am actually interested in both forms of loss and grief - SL and RL and how the two might relate to each other or even integrate. I did read about a man, a son, who held a funeral for his father in SL because he wanted his SL friends to be part of his grief through a formal ritual. I found this really interesting as a sign of the depth of friendships in SL. I am also curious about if family and friends of someone who has died in RL have a attended a SL funeral because they are want to be part of this aspect of someone's life and acknowledge its importance.

Also, there is the question of a second life family - someone in a second life relationship with a family.... what is the impact of a RL death in this instance? What are the repercussions, what happens to the house, property etc.? Do avatars have Wills in SL? 

I guess also when someone leaves SL the reason may be a RL death or not. I know from reading posts that people are suspected of 'faking' their death because they just want to extricate themselves from their existing SL relationships. And sometimes these same people turn up again in different guises and people recognise them for their personality traits showing through.

I believe that friendships in SL can be very strong where a sense real connection (feel free to comment/pick up on my use of 'real' here) and trust is built up over time. But I guess I'm interested in the question of what or whom is grieved or mourned? If someone in SL dies in RL, SL friends are presumably mourning the loss of the personality embodied in the avatar....Is this kind of loss and grief different from the kind of grief and loss experienced when someone we knew and loved in RL in their bodily being dies? Does the absence of a face-to-face history of embodied relationship make a difference to the grief experience? Finally, If anyone can speak to these questions or ideas - have a discussion, debate or raise further questions - that would be great.

OK, this is a huge post and I might have to repeat and go back over stuff but here it is for now.....

[Treasure Ballinger]

My group just attended a memorial service for our group membr who passed away in RL.  His son hosted the service, perhaps that is the one you heard about.  Fairly recent, few weeks ago at most.  When someone is a sim owner in SL and passes away, unless they left a clear and true RL will, the sim passes back to Linden Lab.   (It's business you know).  The avatar's objects, things belonging to the avatar, stay in the avatar's inventory if not rezzed, and remain rezzed until returned if they are rezzed.   The person I am speaking of above, we hosted a small memorial parcel on my sim for awhile.  One of the many talents he had in RL and SL was sculpting.  We kept his sculpture art out for a month or so so folks could come by and remember him in his place.  After the memorial was done we returned the objects to the avatar. 

A well known avatar who passed away a few years ago was The Sojourner.  Many, including here on the forums, knew and loved Soj.  Her sim Dreams, still exists today, and Virtual Ability also has an ampitheater named after her.  I don't see any difference in my feelings when a friend dies, whether RL or SL to be honest.