Question about cub owners' behavior

[Freespirit Dumpling]

Has anyone had a club owner of a large, well-known , long-standing and supposedly classy club in SL call them rude names (stupid f*cking b*tch, for instance) for basically nothing?  I don't want to whine, but I'm angry and don't want to stoop to that level myself.

I accidently did something he says is against the rules, and I don't doubt it, and I don't blame him for banning me (and unfriending me), but when I asked what I'd done, and apologized when I was told, I was subjected to a lot of blue language and sexist slurs.  Some one got on his channel and was complaining about never finding dance partners (their club was not yet open for the night) and I offered to tp themto the club I was in.  Stupid, I know, and I didn't even think about it til he raised hell over what he called my "spamming" and accused me of being some alt out to steal his people.

I tried coming back to explain (still being polite) and got another cussing.  I dont' want back in and I'm not planning on nameing the club or the person/av at this time, but guess I'm just venting.  Anyone else have this sort of experience?  If so, IM me and we can compare names.

I belonged to his club for several years and used to send other people there, and I thought he was a class act.  I'm a little surprised to find out the public personna there is so totally out of whack with the real person on the keyboard.

I've always said that SL is not "real" and tried to keep my perspective, but I think this time I lost it.  And if I ever name the person/av/club he can't deny it, because I have the logs of what I said and and what he said. 

 

 

[Freespirit Dumpling]

CLUB OWNER not cub owner.....typo

[Keli Kyrie]

You can edit your Original Post by going to the top right hand corner and clicking on the Options Tab. Then pick Edit Message.

[Ceka Cianci]

there is no drama like club drama..

there is nothing wrong with venting..and there is nothing wrong with losing it once in awhile..people that say they never lose it are so full of it lol

we are designed to lose it or we start to lose hair from stress..the reason they call it venting is because you have to relieve pressure sometimes or you just turn sour and one day start to explode big time for little tiny reasons..

 

i used to work at one of the big clubs for a few years..trust me i know the the feelings you are having..

don't let some internet ego bug you ..it becomes hard for people that get way caught up to see anything outside of their sims..it all becomes about the club..anyone in the slightest having anything against it or hurting it in the slightest can all of a sudden have the whole team of dancers dj's and drama squad tearring at them for the smallest of crumbs of brown nose points hehehehe

just move on..it may feel empty for a little bit ..but you will later see just how silly some get and how cultish it can be to get way too inlove with some places  in sl..

just keep the experience as a guide in how far you will dig in next time..not so much as the last..i know i won't spend that much time in one place like i did with my old club..

there are so many out there that it would be a waste to spend it all in one place anyways..

 

here you can join my club..it's free and you stay free too.. it's the special  most exciting club in all of sl..

because you are

we all are *winks*

 

 

[Tini Jewell]

You are NOT alone!  I feel most certain that I know the club you are talking about.  I, too, saved logs of the chat in which this clubowner's language was absolutely uncalled for and I should have AR'd him for harrassment and anything else I could find in TOS. 

He has banned me twice in approx 2 years - once for saying I was 'advertising', because I had a pick in my profile concerning some land that I was thinking of developing.  I guess we are all supposed to clear out all of our picks if we want to go to his place, let alone be sure to remove any tags above our heads declaring that we belong to another club or own some property somewhere in SL.  After reasoning the matter with him he did let me back in.

The second, final ban (final as I would not knowlingly, ever again, step foot on any property owned by him) was after a conversation in his group chat where someone directly asked me a question about a very hot topic at the time.  I tried to direct the conversation out of the group as it had nothing to do with the club, the question was initiated due to a display name I was using at the time - it had the potential to lead to ugly discussions.  That's when I received my tirade from this 'gent'.  He IM'd me using the most vulgar language and informed me that he was banning me and 'my alts'.  (I still wonder who he considers my alts and I hope some poor souls have not been banned on my behalf.)  So much for 'class'.

SLIfe does go on, quite well actually, without any need for me to spend any money or time at this person's venues.  There are plenty of other, deserving folks/places, who do not handle their clientele in that manner and who do understand that SL is a large and diverse place.  Those are the places I choose to spend my time and money.

Should I have AR'd him?  Probably so, but I do feel better having taken the high road.  I kind of feel sorry for him actually...then again, ehhh, maybe not so much 

Hope by sharing this, it helps you move forward and dissipate your anger.  I was at that point too, until I realized that it really isn't all that important in the grand scheme of things.  I'm in SL for entertainment, not for wasting time on people like him.

[Imnotgoing Sideways]

Their land, their rules. ()y

 

 

[Mayalily]

No, I have not had your exact experience, so I can't IM you to compare notes, as I've never been banned anywhere.  However, one club owner or officer or I don't know what his trip was, but if anyone uses cuss words at me, I ban them and will not give another dime.  It's time for you to move on any time anyone talks to you that way.  Just do not give them any business whatsoever and pray they grow up one day. 

Also, some of the better clubs are run by women and they are just better overall managers and owners from what I've encountered.  And there are tons are clubs for you to enjoy and a fantastic live musicians scene. 

He sounds like he has mental problems and doesn't know how to control himself, but you do not have the mental problems.  Just remember the only person's behavior you have control over is your own.  We do not have control over other people's behavior.  If they are a jerk, kiss them goodbye because their behavior is NOT going to change.  Again, we can only change our behavior, but not others behavior.  That's just a reality of life and something we all need to accept about life:  We cannot change another person's behavior period.  Only they can do that.  You sound like a nice person, and there are lots of things to do and enjoy! 

Also make some friends that are just friends, even if women.  Make some friends you can talk to when things like this happens.  No one likes to be cussed out and you said it was an accident.  We all have an accident or two because SL is quite complicated.  If you want to go around to visit some clubs I hang out, send me an IM anytime. 

 

[Anaiya Arnold]

Wow, sounds like a real sweetheart.

Reminds me of that club owner that went on a sexist swearing rampage when someone found the RedZone unit he swore black and blue he did not have.  Coincidently, that chap sounds a lot like the fool Tini describes.

 

Some people appear to flip on a dime, when really, they've just been unmasked.  I think it's probably the case that folk like this all look pretty much the same under the thin veneer of respectability they swaddle themselves in most of the time.

 

 

[Tini Jewell]

So, when I am not on 'their' land, they have the right to message me and begin throwing vulgar epithets my way?  Sorry, I wholeheartedly disagree on that one.  Ban me, keep me off their land, I have absolutely no issue with that.  Even feel free to IM me and tell me why - but in a civilized, adult manner, thankyouverymuch.  No one has the 'right' to treat people the way this particular individual has and I'm sure continues to do.

[Ceka Cianci]

they sure don't have that right..thats harrassment..

turning the other cheek sounds all good and sweet and ethical and makes for really good setups to good movie endings..but it doesn't stop the azzhats from doing it next time to someone else..

sometimes a little lesson can go a long way..random things i will usually let go..but if someone is tailgating me back to my house..they are in my house now..i'll turn around and stand up for myself..

nope..you have every right to defend yourself as well as AR them if they were following you out into the street like  that..thats called rubbing it in..

in the real world they wouldn't have even came past thier doorway hehehehehe

 

 

[lovin Dexing]

In my case it was a group called :The Dominion" and they are female femdom group.  I was wanting to try this lifestyle and I am totally new at it.  I didnt kow what to do or how to talk.  I paid the membership fee.  The when I tried to ask questions, I forgot to use the word "miss" in each sentence i guess because the owner of the group thought i was being disrespectful by not incuding the name "Miss" in each address.  I was just accidentally trying to find out more using normal local chat speak.  Well, she thought I was doing it on purpose even though I tried to inform her i was totally new at this.  She banned me calling me names.  I want my membership fee back.  You cant just take money from people to join your group and then ban them for wanting to learn how to fit in.  These people in The Dominion have a chip on thier shoulders against males and i have already spoken to another user that was banned from there and he said he made small and seemingly human mistakes but was banned like me.  So what is happening is, they are taking men's money and then banning them if they show any sort of behaviour or shortcomming that the owner may disagree with.  I think they can ban someone for what they consider  a broken rule but to not return your membership fee is outright theft.  Especially if I was making a good faith effort to want to learn this lifestyle the Dominion offers.

 

I will report them to Linden Labs promptly.  Let this be a warning to other men.  These women are real bitches and need to be taught a lesson.  If they are forced to pay back all the lindens they stole they might wake up.  They should not be allowed to do this.  Return the money and all will be forgivien.