The World Cup: How Today's Matches Look

[LaskyaClaren]

July 1, 2014

Today sees some very interesting match-ups in the World Cup. I've analysed the opposing teams below, and (employing a very clever but top-secret algorithm of my very own) have set out my predictions.

The US team employs the national colours of its flag (red, white, and blue) in a way that is, as at least one commentator has noted, a little reminiscent of a barbershop pole. The crew neck, however, provides a casual touch, and the overall appearance, with the red shorts, of red surmounted by two broad stripes is striking and handsome in an asymmetrical way. We like manner in which the breast is kept spare, but the shoes have to go. Seriously.

The Belgian Team's jersey features a very pleasing palette of colours: red, gold, burgundy, and black, with a touch of orange. We like the piping very much, and the layout of the gradient on the breast, but are not quite so keen on the ghosted dark background at the bottom of the jersey, which leaves the unfortunate impression that the players were less than careful while drinking their morning coffee (or whatever beverage Belgians drink in the morning).

Prediction: This will be a close match, but we give the edge to the Belgians over the sparer American team's look. But this one may go to penalties.

Predictably, the Swiss team has chosen a red-and-white colour scheme. The shade of red -- almost a rusty crimson, really -- is however drab in the extreme, and we find the upper half of the torso busy, busy, busy.

The Argentinian team employs thick, vertical, evenly-spaced baby blue stripes on a white background (or thick, vertical, evenly-spaced white stripes on a baby blue background. Whatever). The colours work well together, although perhaps might have been set off with a nicer colour than black for the shorts.  Overall, however, the stripes are far too broad to be really stylish. I guess we can be thankful that they aren't horizontal. Nice swept-back cutaway collar, however.

Prediction: Another close match, if only because both uniforms are so meh. On balance, however, we give a slight edge to the Argentinians on this one, despite preferring the upper-body physique of the Swiss player.

 

What are your predictions for today's matches? Which shade of red will triumph? Can a cutaway collar prevail over a crew neck? How long is too long for football shorts?

[Kelli May]

"All other things being equal, the side with the simpest uniform wins."

Technically that rule was written for combat rather than sport, but can we apply it here? The USA strip is simple in terms of design, but a little busy in terms of colour. I also have a tendency to see it in terms of the French Flag rather than the Stars & Stripes. I agree entirely on the murky shading of the Belgian kit.

The Swiss and Argentine strips are classics. Extra points for the white stripe on the Swiss team's socks, and a huge bonus to the player for rejecting day-glo boots (or yet worse, two differently coloured day-glo boots).

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LaskyaClaren wrote:

...

What are 

your

 predictions for today's matches? Which shade of red will triumph? Can a cutaway collar prevail over a crew neck? How long is 

too

long for football shorts?

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Lest we forget the 1970's, at least we don't have to ask how short is too short.

[LaskyaClaren]

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Kelli May wrote:

"All other things being equal, the side with the simpest uniform wins."

Technically that rule was written for combat rather than sport, but can we apply it here? The USA strip is simple in terms of design, but a little busy in terms of colour. I also have a tendency to see it in terms of the French Flag rather than the Stars & Stripes. I agree entirely on the murky shading of the Belgian kit.

 

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Generally, I agree that "simple" is best -- unless simple means monotony. I find the Swiss uniform monotonous, for instance. And if it bores me, surely it will bore the players themselves, who won't be inspired by their own fabulousness. 

I hadn't thought of the French flag with regard to the American uniform -- I might have had the colour scheme been reversed, with blue the predominant colour. I'll give the Americans full credit for not doing the obvious thing, and going for tacky stars. Tasteful stripes might have worked, though.

The more I see the Belgian jerseys, though, the more I'm coming to like them.

 

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Kelli May wrote:

The Swiss and Argentine strips are classics. Extra points for the white stripe on the Swiss team's socks, and a huge bonus to the payer for rejecting day-glo boots (or yet worse, two differently coloured day-glo boots).

 

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True, re. "classics." I'll confess to not knowing the sport well enough to be able to judge them on that basis.

 

 

Could it be that ugly day-glo boots are supposed to dazzle and confound the opposing team?

 

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Kelli May wrote:

Lest we forget the 1970's, at least we don't have to ask how short is too short.

 

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Too true. 

 

 

No one wants their football players looking like English school boys. Particularly given how the English played in this tournament. ;-)

[Madelaine McMasters]

This is how to dress for "football"...

And if there's a place to be "busy, busy, busy", it's below the waist.

[LaskyaClaren]

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Madelaine McMasters wrote:

This is how to dress for "football"...

 

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Wait. This is actually a thing? 

Beats Lingerie Football. 

 

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Madelaine McMasters wrote:

And if there's a place to be "busy, busy, busy", it's below the waist.

 

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Oh my yes.

 

 

[Kelli May]

I just noticed, while watching the Argentina - Switzerland match, that the current Argentina strip is different to the one you posted. Here's how it looks, for your consideration.

 

Note that the vertical stripes are now narrower and have a fade built into the blue (close examination reveals this to be diagonal white lines superimposed over the blue). Not visible is a pale gold band underlining the rear yoke, and similar bands running vertically from the armpits to the bottom of the shirt. All improvements, to my mind.

[madjim]

As usual, Laskya's living in the past. None of those kit examples reflect the current "uniforms" being worn in Brasil this month, partly down to FIFA's interference - and colour blindness, as last night's dayglo green worn by the Algerians was considered a "dark" strip, since one team has to wear "dark" and the other "light", presumably for those countries which still have black and white TVs - and partly down to the venal commercial desire to wear something different to force fans with more money than sense to purchase up-to-date facsimile apparel. A bit like the migration to mesh.

Father "They are all V1; V2 is better" Jim

[LaskyaClaren]

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Kelli May wrote:

I just noticed, while watching the Argentina - Switzerland match, that the current Argentina strip is different to the one you posted. Here's how it looks, for your consideration.

 

Note that the vertical stripes are now narrower and have a fade built into the blue (close examination reveals this to be diagonal white lines superimposed over the blue). Not visible is a pale gold band underlining the rear yoke, and similar bands running vertically from the armpits to the bottom of the shirt. All improvements, to my mind.

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I would agree! Much more elegant than those somewhat elephantine stripes.

And, I note, a sufficient improvement to propel the Argentinians past the Swiss in extra time!

It is reassuring to see one's aesthetic preferences validated. :-)

[LaskyaClaren]

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madjim wrote:

As usual, Laskya's living in the past. None of those kit examples reflect the current "uniforms" being worn in Brasil this month, partly down to FIFA's interference - and colour blindness, as last night's dayglo green worn by the Algerians was considered a "dark" strip, since one team has to wear "dark" and the other "light", presumably for those countries which still have black and white TVs - and partly down to the venal commercial desire to wear something different to force fans with more money than sense to purchase up-to-date facsimile apparel. A bit like the migration to mesh.

Father "They are all V1; V2 is better" Jim

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Thank you. This is useful to know!

[madjim]

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LaskyaClaren wrote:

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madjim wrote:

As usual, Laskya's living in the past. None of those kit examples reflect the current "uniforms" being worn in Brasil this month, partly down to FIFA's interference - and colour blindness, as last night's dayglo green worn by the Algerians was considered a "dark" strip, since one team has to wear "dark" and the other "light", presumably for those countries which still have black and white TVs - and partly down to the venal commercial desire to wear something different to force fans with more money than sense to purchase up-to-date facsimile apparel. A bit like the migration to mesh.

Father "They are all V1; V2 is better" Jim

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Thank you. This is useful to know!

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You may find this even more interesting - the Belgian kit is based on the colours used by Jupiler beer.

Father "Whereas the yanks just look like they're promoting Pepsi" Jim

[LaskyaClaren]

Um. Beer???

I'd just like to point out, btw, that my system has been vindicated, with both Belgium and Argentina moving on to the next round. 

You're welcome.

:-)