The resident who provided the previous content, if any, has replaced it with this generic statement.

[Janelle Darkstone]

Meanwhile, the X-51 Solarian Interplanetary Battlecruiser rolled into a stable orbit over the tiny blue planet, its engines brimming with plasma energy as they powered down from its long journey from the Orion nebula.  A few, tiny earth satellites came into contact and fragmented harmlessly away as they collided at high speed with the ship's outer shell.

Commander Theramore sat in his captain's chair, his eyes on the large bridge display screen, his fingers absentmindedly resting on several lighted switches at his side, one marked 'Obliterate', the other marked 'Tea'.  The helmsman informed him that they were at their destination and ready to begin scanning.

"Very well," he nodded.  "Begin your sweep.  Find the fugitive Martian and destroy him, and everything around him."

[Tex Monday]

---

Janelle Darkstone wrote:

Meanwhile, the X-51 Solarian Interplanetary Battlecruiser rolled into a stable orbit over the tiny blue planet, its engines brimming with plasma energy as they powered down from its long journey from the Orion nebula.  A few, tiny earth satellites came into contact and fragmented harmlessly away as they collided at high speed with the ship's outer shell.

Commander Theramore sat in his captain's chair, his eyes on the large bridge display screen, his fingers absentmindedly resting on several lighted switches at his side, one marked 'Obliterate', the other marked 'Tea'.  The helmsman informed him that they were at their destonation and ready to begin scanning.

"Very well," he nodded.  "Begin your sweep.  Find the fugitive Martian and destroy him, and

everything

around him."

---

Wow...that took an unexpected turn...

*grabs another handful of popcorn and shoves it in my mouth, dropping a few kernels on the floor*

 

(yes...I know I'm not helping....):matte-motes-sunglasses-3:

[Janelle Darkstone]

/me plops down next to Tex on the sofa, grabs a handful of popcorn and steals the remote control.

[Tex Monday]

HEY!! Come on!!

Now we'll never know what happens to the Martian..why the ship is there...and what about that car??

 

*realizes there's now a pretty girl next to him on the couch*

 

Ok...turn on whatever you want....

 

Popcorn???

 

*grabs another handful of popcorn, dropping more on the couch and floor*

[161488303349]

Tex - wat about the car

well could pretend that it just a ordinary Nissan Skyline been lowered and set up for drifting but that not be the truth. the real truth. so...

+

the car senses the cat and martian nearby and remains silent. it feels the evil thoughts emanating from them. the car actual loves "Achy Breaky Heart" but decides is better to not say anything about it at this moment

bc the car have a sekrit mission. it a actual interplanetary girl guides ranger supersekrit planet savery thing

the car hopes the cat and martian will like slope off soon. bc it can hear the solarian spaceship making zzzzing noises way up in the sky and can know that its captain going to make a choice soon. Obliterate or Tea

it not a option is tea. the car must prevent at all costs. will be doom for the whole galaxy if the solarian captain choose Tea. solarians are interplanetary outlawed from having possession of tea. it do funny things to them. like way funnier than when they get obliterated by alcohol even

the car knows tho that Commander Theramore is no respecter of anything. bc he is a egg

[Dillon Levenque]

((OOC)) KITT? Is that you?

 

 

[Janelle Darkstone]

Meanwhile, on the far side of the planet the interstellar starship USS Hairball dropped out of warp, its own Cattoast IV engines creating a vibrating, purring sound as they powered down and the massive craft settled into its own orbit.  Dark and sleek, the ship was in stark contrast to the mottled gray armor plating of the Solarian Battlecruiser, thousands of miles away.

Captain Hissyfit watched the viewscreen carefully, his citrine-colored eyes darting to and fro watching the blue planet come into view.  Turning to his right, he addressed his first officer at the science console.  "Anything, Mr. Socks?"

"Yes, Captain," replied Mr. Socks.  "Our sensors detect the fugitive on the planet's surface, but he is not alone.  There appears to be an alien Martian being in his close proximity, and it appears they might be collaborating on an escape."

"Ensign Whiskers!" hissed Captain Hissyfit.  "Come about, bearing one nine zero, all ahead full.  We have to find that escaped telepath and return him to Felinea!"

"There's more, Captain," added Mr. Socks, calmly.  "I detect another alien -- this one a mechanical being from the Hasselhoff System.  It appears to be preparing to extract both of them from the area."

Captain Hissyfit narrows his eyes dramatically, scowling at the viewscreen.  "...go, Ensign.  We're running out of time..."

[161488303349]

the egg formally known as Captain Thereamore but known to his friends as Humpty goes oh! noes !! as this other ship suddenly drops down out of furry space and starts purring at him and his ship

he tell his ensign: quick quick broadcast on all channels that we are eggs. if that kitty kat furry whatsit ship cant take a yolk then we all be in big truubbl

aye aye captain sir says the ensign. and umm! btw can you get off my leg. you a humpty egg sir. not a humpty dog ok

sorry ensign says the captain. i get like that when is cats around. even without any tea

o.m.g!! says the ensign. they not responding to our broadcasts captain. they coming closer. shall i call all hands to put shells up?

wait! ensign. we see waht they do ok. like we not want any of the crew cracking up on us. we will need everyone to stay harden up before this days is done. methinks

k captain says the ensign cautiously. and tnks for get off my leg. np reply the captain graciously

meanwhile....

down on the planet the car goes hehe quietly to itself

the martian antenna pop up and goes all twitchity and pingery. and he goes shhh!!! what was that? and the cat goes what was what? and the martian goes: i heard something

 

 

   

[161488303349]

ooc (the car go hehe bc is the cheapo hasselhoff model. not a jasseljoff. which is a way more cool car but oh! well (: )

[Perrie Juran]

Almost everyone knows that a cat's Achille's tendon is fresh Tuna.

Few people know what a Martian's Achille's tendon is................................

____________________________________

 

Everything is quiet again on the street as Sharpie and the Martian stand there.  The Martian starts to speak but never gets a word out.  He has caught a scent.  An aphrodisiac so powerful no Martian can refuse it's call.  The scent of fresh popped popcorn.  And not just fresh popped popcorn, but hot buttered popcorn.

The Martian looks at Sharpie.  Then he looks at the tuna in his hand.  The scent of the popcorn grows stronger.  He looks at Sharpie again.  He tosses the tuna to Sharpie and says, "I'll be back."  Turning he heads down the street following the scent of the popcorn.  Sharpie stares at the Martian as he walks off.  Sharpie shrugs indifferently, picks up the tuna in his teeth and climbs up in his favorite tree to feast.

After a short walk that takes the Martian an eternity he arrives at a the house the scent of the pop corn is coming from.  Not even bothering to knock he tries the front door and finds it is unlocked.  Walking in he sees two Humans, a male and a female setting on a couch.

The two Humans stare at him in bewilderment.  The Martian walks over, plops down on the couch between them, grabs a handful of popcorn, starts tossing kernels in the air and catching them in his mouth.

Meanwhile, on the X-51 Solarian Interplanetary Battlecruiser, the Helmsman turns to Commander Theramore and says, "I think we've got a lock on the Martian..........................."

 

[Janelle Darkstone]

Meanwhile, on the X-51 Solarian Interplanetary Battlecruiser, the helmsman turned to Commander Theramore and said, "I think we've got a lock on the Martian..."

Commander Theramore nodded, his shiny dome head bright in the blinding "lens flare" lighting of the bridge.  "Very good.  Fire eggtubes one and four, full scatter, full detonation, on my command.  Aaaaannddd f--"

The massive ship suddenly lurched, throwing everyone from their seats, their tiny arms flailing wildly as they fell to the floor as they had on many, many occasions like this before because nobody had thought of inventing interstellar seat belts.  The bridge lights went red, klaxons blaring loudly.

Weapons Officer Yolkker stumbled to his station and switched on his viewscope.  "It's the Hairball, Commander, at bearing mark three four zero and they're firing on us!"

Another projectile streaked from the distance, bright with ethereal energy but also furrily with hair and spit.  The missle arced in a long trajectory, gracefully (but furrily) and moments later impacted against the X-51's hull, causing the entire ship to shudder and drift off course slightly.

Captain Hissyfit glared at his viewscreen.  Spinning in his chair he eyed Weapons Officer Patches and hissed angrily.  "What's wrong?  We're not doing any damage!"

Weapons Officer Patches returned his glare, his own eyes narrowed.  "...it's going to be one tough egg to crack..."

Meanwhile in Tex's living room, the Martian, Janelle, Tex and the bowl of hot buttered popcorn sat there enjoying themselves, practicing catching the kernels in their mouths and making a mess on the floor.  Suddenly the living room window shattered in a spray of broken glass and leaves and the Car looked in on them, its pulsing red sensor eye sweeping from left to right.

In a dramatic but also weirdly soothing voice, the Car calmly declared "...come with me if you want to live."

[Dillon Levenque]

The oddest thing just happened. Was out walking the meeroos and they were in a frisky mood. They led me to into an area of the forest I seldom visit. As we entered a clearing I understood their urge: I caught the scent of buttered popcorn, apparently coming from the small white house in the clearing. Although the doors and windows were boarded up it was obvious someone was inside.

I walked around to the back and noticed a small partially open window. I also noticed the popcorn smell was much stronger, and the meeroos were jumping up trying to reach the window. Just then I heard a mighty crash. I peeked through the window and saw a car had just driven right through the front of the house! As the dust settled I heard the car say (No, really. A talking car?) "...come with me if you want to live.".

At that exact moment, I heard a noise that sounded very much like 100,000 people saying "wop". I gathered up the meeroos and fumbled in my carry bag for the Thumb.

[Tex Monday]

The popcorn kernels fly quietly though the air as Janelle flips through the channels on my television set. The Martian is up 5 to 3 to 1..my luck was not so good. Suddenly the silent was broken by shards of glass flying through the room. Looking up, we see a car sitting in my living room. Wondering if my homeowners will cover this damage, the car suddenly states very matter of factly "...come with me if you want to live."

The three of us stand...quite slowly..and walk towards the car. The doors automatically open as we climb in and the vehicle quickly backs out of the living room, taking out my mailbox in the process. I sit quietly, thinking that I really need to get the licence plate number for my insurance claim. And the three of us flee quickly into the night. 

[Perrie Juran]

---

Janelle Darkstone wrote:

In a dramatic but also weirdly soothing voice, the Car calmly declared

"...come with me if you want to live."

---

Tex, Janelle and the Martian freeze when the car comes through the window.  Even popcorn kernels that were on their descent in the game of catch the kernel freeze.

Tex, Janelle and the Martian here the car speak.  They stare at the car and their eyes grow wide when they see the numbers on the license plate:  42-42-42.

The car doors open and they can here the sound of music from the car stereo.

Giddy up giddy up giddy up 409

(giddy up giddy up 409)

Giddy up 409

(giddy up giddy up 409)

Giddy up 409

(giddy up giddy up 409)

Giddy up 40.........

The three of them jump in the car.................

 

[Janelle Darkstone]

The trio climbed into the car and sat down in the comfortable leather seating, very plush for a robotic car, they mused.  Tex placed the bowl of hot buttered popcorn on the center console and reached for the window control, rolling the window down all the way.  The martian sat in the driver's seat, having only momentarily difficulty in adjusting the seat to accommodate his short legs and managed to find a setting in which he could just barely reach the pedals with his tiptoes.

An old Beach Boys song finished playing on the radio and the car spoke again.

"Welcome, friends.  I am CATT, a sentient mechanical being from the planet Hasselhoff.  You might not have ever heard of that star system..."

"Can I push the "Turbo Boost" button right there on the console?" asked Janelle.

"...no," replied CATT.  "Now, you may have never heard of--"

"What happens if I push it?" interrupted Janelle.

"....nothing happens," the car said.  "Now, listen---"

"I'm gonna push it," giggled Janelle.

"DO NOT PUSH THE BUTTON!" the car shouted, losing its cool.  The three passengers jerked upright, startled at the sudden outburst from the car.  "Listen!" CATT snarled.  "You are all in great danger, and it is my mission to transport you safely from this area as quickly as possible before we all come under bombardment from a starship currently in orbit around this planet!  Now sit down and shut UP!"

The trio sat passively as CATT put itself in reverse and backed off Tex's lawn, leaving a set of deep tire tracks in the lawn.  The car grumbled to itself as it straightened out and roared down the street, "I swear by her royal highness Queen 16, I will never accept another Earth mission again as long as I function!"

Janelle sat in the back seat, pouting.  Cocking her head to one side she glanced at each of her companions and muttered, "You know, I can't help but think we're forgetting something..."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Back at the tree, Sharpie swallowed the last bit of tuna and licked his lips, purring contentedly.  He raised his head and looked around, suddenly aware of how quiet the neighborhood had become.  He shrugged and began preening his fur.  He was not aware of the bright object in the sky fast approaching, a pale, egg-shaped projectile tumbling end over end.

High above at his station, Weapons Officer Yolkker grinned malevolently.

[Tex Monday]

The projectile continued its journey towards earth hitting, quite hard, at the base of the tree. Sharpie, who had just completed his 29th cleaning, stared at it curiously.

Weapons Officer Yolkker grinned malevolently. "Just a little closer, kitty.....That's it." His hand sat shakingly above the obliterate button.

Sharpie jumped down...and began knocking the egg around the yard. His claws making small scratches in the egg.

"Now Yolkker!" Commander Theramore shouted. The Officer quickly pushed the button, waiting for the Earth Shattering Kaboom.

Sharpie continued knocking the egg around...quickly becoming bored and heading back for the tree.

"A dud, sir." Yolkker stated.

"That is the last time we buy our weapons from the ACME Weapons company...." The Commander replied. "Find the Martian. I want to get away from this planet before The Hairball decides to fire again."

[Perrie Juran]

Sitting quietly between Janelle and Tex the Martian gathers his thoughts. 

All he wanted to do was find a way out of this Virtual World he had got trapped in after his space ship had vanished following a SIM crash.  And now 16 is telling him his life is in danger.

Suddenly he feels his stomach start to rumble.

He rummages around in his pockets and finds what he is looking for, the model B3-227249 Series Q collapsible portable gas mask.  He pulls it out of his pocket and fixes it to his face.

Janelle and Tex stare at him.

As we learned previously, Martians can not resist popcorn.  But Popcorn also has a dreaded effect on Martians.

The Martian sends a thought to Janelle and Tex:

"Popcorn Farts."

[Tex Monday]

Hearing the Martian's thoughts, Tex quickly rolls down the window. CATT rolls it back up again.

"No." it replies quickly.  "The methane trail from the gas will attract your enemies right to you. We must continue with the windows closed."

Suddenly we hear a small pop and a scent fills the car. Tex and Janelle hold their breaths. Tex inhales slowly.

"Smells like....Apple Pie??"

The Martian looks around, embarrassed and the car continues on its way.

 

(I'm not helping to advance the plot....or lack of plot...am I?):matte-motes-sunglasses-3:

[161488303349]

the plot of land under the car with the Martian and the Tex and the Janelle in it lets out a loud scream as the apple pie gas leaches deep down into its soil

it rolls and buckles as it try to reject the gas. but to no avail. the evol gas continues to burrow deep into the very being of the plot. the plot shudders and twists and dreams to be free. it offers up a silent plea to the whole universe. please may i be abandoned by this what afflicts me

the universe tho is indifferent to the torment and suffering of the plot. bc the universe knows what nobody knows. que sera sera. whatever will be will be. let it be. show me the way to amarrilo. and stuff like that

the plot of land sighs and goes still. is all over. the apple pie gas is the winner and giggles like only a apple pie gas can. then it start to blossom and grow. feeding on the nutrients in the soil

up in space the detectors on both ships start going crazy: like jingle bells. the noise is deafening as the ships anti apple pie gas shields start to power up automagically

o.m.g !! goes the Captains of both ships. doom is upon us !!!

hiss mode! everyone hisses Captain Hissyfit to his crew. hiss !!! go the whole crew as they jump in the billabong. shall i power up the Matilda asks the gunnery officer. yes do hisses Captain Hissyfit. Aye Aye Captain reply the Gunnery and salute smartly and zooms off to do that. bc she always fancied herself as a Kingsman. like a Holden. and not like a import 

shells up everybody yells Captain Thereamore. we in for a cracking time. fire up the Pans orders the Captain. scrambled poached or fried ??? whispers the Ensign in terror. fried over easy to start with methinks orders the Captain. we dont want to alert the enemy that we got all our eggs in one basket

meanwhile

down on the planet Sharpie who been playing lazy with this yolky thingy that fell out the sky. feels the plot underneath her shuddering. and just stretches slowly. yawns a bit. turns round. lies down. tucks her little paws underneath. and decides to have a nap

meanwhile more

in the car Tex and Janelle are blissful unaware of whats happening. except for the smell. they not notice the ground shuddering bc the CATT car has really good suspension system that makes for a pretty good ride. not as good as the jasseljoff tho. but still pretty good

the Martian knows tho so do the CATT. the CATT begins to ponder. do i eject the Martian and leave him behind to whatever fate will befoul him. and save these two innocents. after all am a girl guides ranger underneath and thats what we do? and while he seems to be a Martian and looks like a Martian. Martians don't do apple pies. figgy pudding yes. like heaps and heaps of figgy pudding. apple pie tho hmmm! ponders the CATT. all is not as it seems with this Martian

[Tex Monday]

(Since the last post was yesterday evening, I'm just going to end it.)

Unknown to Tex and Janelle, Martian popcorn farts cause humans to become drousy and fall asleep. As they inhaled the fresh scent, both fell quickly asleep. The Martain removed his gas mask.

Catt continued driving along the dark and winding road...avoiding holes in the plot (which you could drive a car through).

Meanwhile:

The the X-51 Solarian Interplanetary Battlecruiser and the USS Hairball stared each other down. Both ships on red alert, raising weapons. Suddenly, at the same instant, both ships picked up the Martain's location.

"Fire all weapons at the planet!"

The Hairball and Battlecruiser began firing all weapons simultanously at the surface. Catt dodging each blast until......

BLACKNESS...SILENCE....

 

*************************************************************************************************************************************

Sharpie heard the can opener and ran quickly towards the kitchen. Janelle slowly opened the can, her blouse covered in pieces of popcorn. Only Sharpie knew what happened. But now, everything was right again. Everything was as it should be. And....he had the tuna.

 

(ok..maybe not the best ending. I didn't want to leave it hanging)

 

[Perrie Juran]

The Martian slowly regains conciousness.

Everything is black.

He realizes he can not feel his body either.

Gathering his thoughts he sighs.

"Not another damn SIM crash," he thinks to himself.

He wonders how long it will take them to get the SIM back on line this time.

The Martian continues to drift in the blackness.

Martians can be very patient.

He starts thinking about Tuna Fish again.

---

---

[Tex Monday]

---

Perrie Juran wrote:

The Martian slowly regains conciousness.

Everything is black.

He realizes he can not feel his body either.

Gathering his thoughts he sighs.

"Not another damn SIM crash," he thinks to himself.

He wonders how long it will take them to get the SIM back on line this time.

The Martian continues to drift in the blackness.

Martians can be very patient.

He starts thinking about Tuna Fish again.

---

Great...thanks...you just HAD to one-up me, didn't you????

:matte-motes-sunglasses-3:

[Janelle Darkstone]

---

Tex Monday wrote:

---

Great...thanks...you just HAD to one-up me, didn't you????

:matte-motes-sunglasses-3:

---

( Don't post don't post don't post resist the urge resist the urge resist resist resist ... )

[Tex Monday]

---

Janelle Darkstone wrote:

( Don't post don't post don't post resist the urge resist the urge resist resist resist ... )

---

 

Go on, baby....you know you want to...just one little post won't hurt anyone....come on....do it...

:matte-motes-sunglasses-3:

[Marigold Devin]

---

Tex Monday wrote:

---

Janelle Darkstone wrote:

( Don't post don't post don't post resist the urge resist the urge resist resist resist ... )

---

 

Go on, baby....you know you want to...just

one little post

won't hurt anyone....come on....do it...

:matte-motes-sunglasses-3:

---

/me sits on the fence and whistles through fingers... yes, you know you want to :matte-motes-evil-invert: