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Scylla Rhiadra
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Posts posted by Scylla Rhiadra
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29 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:
I suppose that I often think in terms of what someone wants "from me", what they insist on discussing (even if it is firmly rooted in RL), whether they insist on "poking" me by making fun of something about me or something we disagree on, etc.
This is easy to compare to why I may choose to block / ignore someone on the Forums. So for examples:
If someone insists on asking me a lot of RL questions about my religion without being respectful..
Or if someone wants to poke me about my RL "politics"..
Or if someone disrespects the fact I choose to be a Neko..
Or if someone says insensitive things about the LGBT community..
I tend to assume they know better but are just selfish and entitled to behave however they want, don't care about my feelings etc. While I COULD choose to assume they actually lack empathy (or similar), which would make it "not their fault" technically..
Bringing this to my point in the topic, I suppose that it's possible to have compassion / empathy for such a person in SL, while still recognizing that "they are toxic" and there's nothing wrong with avoiding / ignoring them in SL. "They are different" sure, but I don't have to "suffer that difference" to prove anything.
As you say, you don't have to "suffer" the difference if it is making you angry, upset, or whatever. There is no moral imperative that insist that we hang out with people who irritate or upset us.
Again, I think that it's usually pretty easy to judge those who "poke" or deliberately provoke us because they are nasty, and those who are doing so without intent, or just to "tease." In the latter case, a simple comment, like, "Could you please not say such things to me: I find them upsetting" is generally enough to stop the behaviour. If it doesn't stop, then that's a pretty sure fire indication that they are being deliberately (and, now, knowingly) unpleasant.
I'll use an example. There's a fairly prolific forum poster here (I'm sure he'll recognize himself if he reads this) who very deliberately posts slightly trashy misogyny -- often in response to something I've said. There is zero question that it's deliberately provocative. BUT my familiarity with him over the years here provides important context: he is "teasing" and doing so in fun. I think he probably IS what I might term a little "sexist," but not obnoxiously so, and I recognize that his provocations are actually, well, "affectionate." And I respond in kind to that, even while groaning inwardly at some of the things he says, because it's clearly not intended to be nasty, but has instead become a kind of friendly banter between us. I like him, oddly enough, in part because he says trashily sexist things that he really only half means: they are part of the way in which we "connect" here. I like him.
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10 minutes ago, Madi Melodious said:
BlueBerry is a huge brand in SL. I hope she doesn't just decide to pull the plug on it and vanish as a number of creators do. If she decides to not be involved in the line any more I hope she passes it on to another owner and creator. Sad to just let a successful business and brand vanish.
Interesting in that regard is that Siddean Munro, who closed all of the Slink stores and the company MP, has put the bundle for Hourglass back on the MP in response to requests to do so (and with the warning that it is no longer supported).
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Oh! And Happy Birthday, Love!
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2 hours ago, Ayashe Ninetails said:
Thinking back, I can't really recall any situations where this is true for me. Most instances of me actually not liking someone usually results from them being a total *insert non-PG language here*.
If someone's very different in some way or another, we just won't have a lot in common and lack reason to hang around together. It takes more than that for me to say I don't like someone, and in every instance of that I can think of, there's always a verrrrrry good reason.
Yeah. I actually don't find this particularly complicated most of the time.
Different is, mostly, good. Who would want to spend all their time with people just like me?? I certainly wouldn't want to!
Difference sometimes can mean irritation, or just a lack of connection. Being irritated I can handle, although it may mean I choose not to spend a lot of time with someone: that needn't be judgmental, but rather just a form of self-care. Where the difference means that there isn't enough in common to sustain a relationship, then, well, there isn't one, and that's generally a mutual thing.
Sometimes "difference" manifests itself in ways that can seem socially awkward or even anti-social. I can think of friends who are just a bit cringy in a social situation sometimes. It's pretty rare that that's reason enough on its own for me to avoid someone.
What I cannot handle, and will not tolerate, is someone who is deliberately and consciously nasty, cruel, mean-spirited, or hateful. And usually it's pretty clear, I think, where the "nastiness" is an inadvertent result of awkwardness or or remediable ignorance, and where it is targeted, deliberate, and unrepentant.
But in those cases, it's not "difference" that's the issue: it's toxicity.
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On 4/8/2024 at 2:55 PM, Kylie Jaxxon said:
I do wonder though, who still used Genus
/me raises her hand
I own at least a half dozen LeLutka heads (and the one freebie Catwa one), but I've never been able to achieve the look I like, so I've stuck with Genus.
LeLutka are really nice heads, but there are things about them (e.g., the lips) that drive me nuts.
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1 hour ago, Robberinthemuseum said:
Before, beautiful avatar = attractive person. Now, beautiful avatar = shopaholic, blogger or slex addict 🤣.
Don't be absurd.
I am utterly GORGEOUS, and I'm none of those things!
(/me quietly tucks her shopping list away under her keyboard.)
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Because one can never post too many pics of @Laurel Aurelia, here's another shot.
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In my humble view, @Laurel Aurelia has one of THE most interesting and photogenic faces I've ever seen in SL. I've used her for pics before -- in fact, one of my favourite shots I ever took is of her -- but I wanted to experiment with a new photographic style a bit, and she very generously sat quietly for like 45 minutes while I took about 30 shots of her. So expect to see more.
Here's a first try though.
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24 minutes ago, archangel969 said:
It's a movie with a totally different background, but the lighting, the colours and your looks remind me of Faye Dunaway in Bonny and Clyde.
Hah, thanks! And yes, I played with the hues and tones to get a 70s vibe for the pic.
I'm really good at aging things! Photos . . . cheese . . . partners.
You name it!
PS. And I'm not at all averse to be compared to Faye Dunaway!
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Found this old pic of me on my balcony in a shoebox under the bed as I was packing.
Such a scenic view!
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4 hours ago, Midnoot said:
- Political correctness.
- people who use the word "SLetiquette".
- The future that Demolition Man predicted accurately.
- The future that Anger Management's plane scene predicted accurately.
Have fun being arrested for using terms that someone has chosen to delete from the official language because it hurt their feelings.
🙄
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7 hours ago, Ayashe Ninetails said:
I want to say she did a fashion show, didn't she? Oh, Metaverse Fashion Week, and partnered with Teletubbies for a line. "House of Blueberry" - that's super cute.
Arguably, at one point she was probably the best known SL creator off platform? Lots of stories about her.
7 hours ago, Ayashe Ninetails said:Yeah, Blueberry was a giant. I'm not sure how it is now that we've got numerous stores filling a similar demand and a random mix of new/old bodies and mods that only some continue to create for, though. That always complicates things.
Yes, as others have noted above, there is probably more competition now than there once was. It'll be interesting to see if any of the other higher profile creators (other than Addams) can fill the void. I just hope it doesn't mean trying to do the Sexy Soccer Mum thing that Blueberry had really taken to specializing in over the past few years.
7 hours ago, Ayashe Ninetails said:I do hope she's alright, though. I feel like she's been grinding forever now, so a break is definitely warranted!
Agreed. And I'd be sorry to hear that the store wasn't doing as well, if that's the case too. I really only bought a few staples there -- simple tops, jeans, etc. -- but I wish her well, whatever the cause.
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7 hours ago, Anastasia Loxingly said:
Blueberry -was- huge, the store has lost plenty of ground over the last couple of years due to new bodies needing to be supported and the ever increasing use of body mods. Not to mention there are probably giant swathes of users that prefer a certain style of dressing that probably have never even heard of Blueberry at this point.
That may be so. And I think we've all noted some shifts in the way things were being packaged for sales now, with inexpensive fatpacks being replaced by selected singles. I wonder if there is a connection?
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6 hours ago, Cristiano Midnight said:
I don't say this enough, because I am usually responding to your comments on my pants, socks, and various body parts, but you are truly an artist. It is a wonderful thing to witness your evolution over time. You are a beautiful reminder of how SL can be used to create art ❤️
Thank you, Cris! That's a lovely and very generous thing to say!
But then you're a lovely and generous man, and in that regard you epitomize why I like posting here: everyone in this thread is so wonderfully supportive of everyone else.
Even of the people who forget to wear pants sometimes. 😏
(Actually, maybe especially of such people!)
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Well, that's very sad and worrisome. I hope Mishi is ok. She's always been very personable and approachable, and she has a public face in a way that most SL creators don't.
Blueberry is HUGE -- surely the largest single maker of clothing in SL? And, unless it's pulled back, it had expanded into other platforms as well.
This is roughly analogous to something like The Gap ceasing production in RL, I suspect. I wonder if the SL economy will take a hit.
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If you step out onto my back balcony, and lean over one side to peer into my kitchen, this is what you might see.
Yes, yes, the windows are filthy, but I'm damned if I'm going to dangle precariously out into space (I'm on the fifth floor) to clean them. I assure you, I've registered a complaint with the Comrade Antonova, who runs the residents committee, and I've been promised it will be taken care of sometime . . . next year.
Probably.
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2 hours ago, Bagnu said:
OMG Scyll !!! I AM older than you!!!
I totally understand why you would have wanted to live in Voroznia. I have, on occasion, wondered what my life would have been like if my parents hadn't have left Hungary during the 1956 revolution, and I had been born there.
Your post also struck a note with me, since I have some Ukrainian heritage as well, on one side of the family.
Dahling, you're only as young as your attachments and BOM add-ons!
I am, to be clear, extraordinarily grateful I was born when and where I was. Certainly, living in Ukraine these days isn't a lot of fun, and I have no misty-eyed illusions about what it must have been like to grow up under Soviet communism, especially as a member of an oppressed minority -- a sentiment I'm sure that any Hungarian would share. And actually, one of the things I like about Voroznia is that it doesn't glamorize the era or its culture. My wallpaper is faded and peeling, and the region pretty bleak in some ways. In that sense, though, it "feels" relatively authentic.
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8 hours ago, archangel969 said:
I love those places on SL with themes where they have put a lot of energy and time into atmosphere. I didn't know Voroznia, but there are many special places on SL that I don't know yet. Too bad you are going to leave the appartment and I can imagine it makes you wistful, such a decision to leave. I once had the same thing with a sim I once rented from, but it was disbanded because the owner quit due to health reasons. I have now bought land but I also rent at Hotel Chelsea. In SL, the old bohemian hotel can still be visited in its former glory. In RL, it has become an expensive hotel. The bohemians of yesteryear who made Chelsea famous could never have afforded the rent of today. So I still stay there as a tribute and support to the creators of Chelsea in SL though I rarely visit there anymore. I will still come there if I want to buy art, as there are dozens of art galleries nearby. And sometimes a poetry meeting, but although I love poetry I find poetry readings in SL fatally boring, unfortunately, so have fallen asleep a few times during such a meeting, yes really! 🙂
Yeah, agreed. There's a great deal of "bland" in SL, but also some wonderful places that capture a particular and identifiable ambiance. And sometimes they build a community around it, as the Chelsea has.
I used to go to the Chelsea relatively regularly. It's not the best build in the world (in fact, it looks and feels pretty dated these days), but it definitely does generate an atmosphere and evokes a distinctive place in an equally distinctive era. Actually, I was there again a few days ago to catch a very good live performer. It felt a bit like visiting an old friend.
As to the Voroznia apartment -- well, maybe I'll chicken out and extend my stay there. I am reluctant to leave, certainly. But no, I'll probably go. I can always visit.
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So, I've decided it's time, finally, to lose my apartment in Voroznia. Which saddens me a little: I am really very fond of it, and it's cool and a bit different, because the regions in which it's located are set up as a Soviet Bloc style residential development from the 70s, complete with Brutalist architecture, Soviet propaganda, and crumbling apartment blocks. It's been my "residence" for a couple of years now.
Why would anyone want to live in such a place? Well, as I say, it's different. And I set up my apartment as the residence of late 70s / early 80s Ukrainian graduate student, a kind of homage to part of my heritage. Happenstance doesn't work this way, of course, but I have a sort of fantasy that this might have been me, and had my grandparents not emigrated to Canada (and had I been born 15 years earlier -- I was only 16 when the Berlin Wall fell).
Anyway, as fond as I am of it, I can't really justify the cost: I just don't use it very much anymore. But I'm going to keep it at least another week so I can get some pics of it, just as keepsakes.
Here's a pic of me (wearing a vishyvanka, a traditional Ukrainian peasant blouse) in front of my favourite part of the flat, my "office" area. On the wall is a small shrine to 19th and early 20th century Ukrainian writers, feminists, and intellectuals, including most prominently (bottom left) Taras Shevchenko, Ukraine's "national poet." I'm actually not terribly keen on Shevchenko, but you're not really allowed to be Ukrainian unless you pay homage to him; my Baba, who I doubt ever read a line of poetry in her life, had a small bronze statue of him I remember well as a child.
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1 minute ago, Luna Bliss said:
Pet Peeve: I return after but a couple hours and discover an interesting thread is closed! I see @Scylla Rhiadrahad started posting a lot toward the end...no doubt this is the cause...she must be restrained....
-is joke
Haven't we already established that I'm instant death to any thread I touch?
Which means that this thread . . .
Oh dear.
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Peeves: condescension directed at posters here (generally, not just at individuals).
It's unnecessary to imply that we are all recalcitrant schoolchildren.
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1 minute ago, Ayashe Ninetails said:
I gotta ask why. Despite enforcement in various online games being pretty lackluster in many instances, there are some rather strict rules surrounding all of this stuff on platforms not named Second Life and there's a pretty good chance if someone unleashed a hateful rant, made a guild name filled with slurs, ran around with offensive usernames/appearances, etc., they will eventually get banned. Eventually.
This is why I generally feel much cozier playing Guild Wars 2 or hell, even WoW than I do browsing search/groups here in SL. The number of times I encountered a plantation-style RP or anti-woman guild in an MMO is a big fat 0. Perhaps they exist, but they certainly don't go around blatantly advertising themselves if they do.
Yeah. I get it. This stuff is literally hurtful, and it does have a social cost.
The extreme stuff has upset me sufficiently that I've produced two exhibitions on the subject over the years, and that I can expect to be shocked (although god knows I shouldn't be) and enraged on a reasonably regular basis here.
I honestly don't know, Ayashe, which is why I'm hedging my bets with a lot of "probablies" and "perhaps."
I don't think that either reductive "complete freedom," or "rigid restrictions" are the way to go; what is required is, dare I say it, a "nuanced" approach of the sort that requires actual thought and consideration on a case-by-case basis.
Which we aren't going to get here. I don't think there is any justification for a Proud Boys group in SL -- we're talking literal criminals here. And yet . . . they're still here.
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Coming to Accept "Different" people in Second Life
in General Discussion Forum
Posted
Yeah, all of this, especially maybe the last bit.
If I'm wandering around with the bottom of skirt accidentally tucked into my panties, and I'm flashing the street without knowing it, I'd want someone to tell me. Why wouldn't I similarly want to be told that I was upsetting or making someone uncomfortable?
(Not that that has EVER happened to my skirt. 🙃)
Yeah, also this. Life would have been pretty miserable were I not able to just sort of mentally block obnoxious comments in RL, and the same applies here, mostly, and in-world.
Threatening or hateful language is, maybe, a bit different, as is harassment.