Coffee Pancake

May 13

1 minute ago, Kathlen Onyx said:

Like most D/s relationships IN Second Life. That's the part that is scary. You might be a responsible adult and know how to navigate these types of relationships but men playing Master and Women playing victim are dangerous things to play in Second Life.

Women play Mistress too.

Mistresses with straight female subbies is not uncommon, what could that be about ....

May 13

7 minutes ago, BillFletcher said:

You and you friends are decent guys, but have you ventured into SL as a female, It can be very educational.

See, here is why I called this white knighting.

First up .. every guy worth 2 beans has a female alt. You do know girls have guy alts too, for exactly the same reasons, right?

Second, you're only concerned about women. Men in your vision, can't be victims of abuse or if they can, it's not what you're interested in.

A man only interested in protecting fragile and vulnerable women is huge red flag. This path ends in said man taking advantage to serve his own ends. If a women needs understanding and sanctuary from a man, she's going to another woman first.

May 13

1 hour ago, BillFletcher said:

every girl who comes to SL opens herself up to guys demanding that

Mind your own business Bill.

We're all grown ups. We got this.

May 13

12 minutes ago, Kathlen Onyx said:

No I don't need a lecture on D/s relationships or BDSM.

I'm sorry you feel that way (not because I was itching to deliver a good lecture!) Personally, this has been the basis for the happiest, most secure, and most deeply loving years of my entire life. Relationships that seriously and thoughtfully approach consent, trust and everything else from a lifestyle D/s perspective is very much thanks to SL, as is the RL partner of over 15 years I first met here.

I sincerely hope you are as happy in whatever style of relationship suits you best.

May 13

Just now, Love Zhaoying said:

This doesn't stop most people, you're probably doing a fine job.

I know I'm not. I know that for a fact.

Second Life - Come for the existential crisis, Stay for the survivors guilt.

May 13

4 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

I have very mixed feelings about Governance. In general, I probably have less faith in them than you do, but I tend to think that their problem is less that they are overzealous (as I think some here fear they will be) than badly understaffed. My complaints about them have tended to be regarding their failure to act upon obvious violations of the ToS, rather than about them possibly being a little trigger-happy.

That said, a major and repeating griefing problem I had last year -- the cause of many of my complaints -- seems to have been resolved as there has not been a repetition in some time.

I DO think they are going to be a bit more vigorous and proactive on the a*eplay front for a bit, as they try to establish the new rules. But I think they'll only be coming down hard on very obvious violations, as they work to clean up the grid in the wake of recent allegations. I think they'll be much gentler with edge-cases, with a focus upon what we've been here calling "education."

Mostly, however, none of this will be visible to most of us. Including, I suspect, to most of those in the child avatar community.

I tend to agree with this, they are understaffed and under pressure to fix a problem that for all intents and purposes, they can't.

What I find most problematic is that with a single act, they seem to routinely disconnect people from their SL because they didn't know the rules, didn't think they were breaking them, step by step built an avatar that when all combined it didn't pass or just straight up made a crappy avatar and failed the landing.

I am not a trained therapist, suicide or crisis counselor.

Yet this responsibility has been dropped in my lap more times than I am comfortable recounting. Gov have torched accounts of friends and I have had to watch them spin off the rails as a result. The 'banned and handling it badly' end up on reddit & reaching out on discord, because they are banned from here! Cut off from their entire social graph, loved ones and support networks... the few people who really get SL, kinda get sucked in and invested.

Sure there are bad actors who are here to intentionally use the platform in harmful ways. But a perma-ban doesn't stop them. They are right back and we all know it. For those, the first ban stings and then it turns to anger and defiance, then they're back with a copy bot, they aren't shopping, the only investment is sticking it to LL. This whole mess becomes a game.

Ever escalating suspensions would be a far more effective punishment. Every suspension double the one before. Let them come back, account as they left it, purge only contraband, avatar reset to something from the library. Let them keep their investment. Let them run into the wall till the size of the next ban is more then they can stand, everyone has a limit. And so long as they can be lured into this game, they aren't undermining the actual platform.

This also ticks the box of justice being seen to be done.

We all like to moan - "I don't wanna get banned again" is a pretty solid whine, makes the actions of governance visible without LL needing to breach anyone's privacy AND educates!

May 13

1 minute ago, Luna Bliss said:

Just no...

For many here, this is a fantasy and an escape and a role play.

Spinning pages from pulp romance, for the thrill of living it .. but not actually living it. Story of O, or 50 shades or Gor would be horrifying in real life, but in a book, or here, it's something else entirely.

Talking about difficult relationships formed here can help to deal with what play brings up. For the overwhelming most part, that is what's going on. No matter what it looks or sounds like.

It can still be very intense and moving when caught up, things can progress incredibly quickly but we all have our limits.

But in the real world, there isn't an X at the top of the screen. There isn't the decision to engage again or the ability to distract and evade.

Anyone can make an alt and start over, maybe that shouldn't be so frowned upon.

May 13

1 minute ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Surely you don't mean this, Coffee. It sounds very like the unsympathetic response one sometimes sees to people who've been emotionally abused or griefed in SL: "It's not real! Just hit the 'X' at the top right!"

There are several sides to this, rarely, someone will be in an actually abusive relationship and its a problem.

The rest .. well .. a conversation I had with someone once that went a little bit like this.

> My Master is a misogynistic *****.

> Why did you submit to him, stay with him, wear his collar?

> because I respect the institution.... because hes a misogynistic *****. But he can read me like a book, move me with a word, is having none of my *****, and I love him for it. .. and I know it won't last.

9 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Are you really suggesting that all relationships in SL are so shallow and superficial that simply logging off represents an always-applicable "solution"? The deeper the emotional connection, the more the opportunity for real emotional abuse, gaslighting, coercion, etc. SL relationships can be very deep indeed. And unfortunately they can also be very emotional unhealthy too.

I understand and fully appreciate that, been there a few times myself. But that's important to note .. a few times.

I've been here over 18 years, I know myself and it's all be learnt the hard way.

19 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Is it not just possible that he is speaking from personal experience, and not "white knighting" at all?

The white knights lament .. I offer her security, sanctuary, safety and adoration. Why doesn't she see that .. it must be the evil controlling abusive guy who has his hooks into her.

The reality .. as soothing and safe as that sanctuary might be, it's unfulfilling and carries greater emotional investment.

It's easier to break a jerks heart to save oneself.

It's easier for a white knight to become the real abuser.

May 13

4 hours ago, BillFletcher said:

Lots of people come here for personal gratification, and get angry with those individuals who say no to their requests. This sort of thing is rampant in SL and the fact that those are exceptions to this really doesn't make up for it.

Yeah .. this is just white knighting.

If anyone is having an "unhealthy" time in SL, they can close the viewer, or do something/someone else.

I guess you've not ever considered that an unhealthy looking time can be performative, right .. part of the role-play. Or a the couple that seem to fight or complain about each other all the time, yet never break up .. that's part of the dynamic. Drama can be intensely enjoyable, role-playing difficult or disturbing themes can be challenging and cathartic.

You're seeing trauma and wondering why those involved aren't leaping to safety .. because that would be boring. They are here for the trauma. It's all part of the game.

May 13

I'm trying to come up with something nice to say, if it was (almost) anyone else it would be easy ... sorry dude.

May 12

Dig up !!

May 12

52 minutes ago, animats said:

This is why mirrors are so popular in VRChat. There, you're in first person view and can't see much of yourself. So hanging out with others in front of mirrors is common.

Mirrors are popular in VRC as they provide feed back to the 'avatar puppeteer' regarding limb and face tracking etc.

May 12

28 minutes ago, Qie Niangao said:

But they'll be increasingly obsoleted by content that's only PBR-visible. To wit:

per ModemWorld blog's summary of Friday's TPV Developer meeting. Content that also has the Blinn-Phong fallback materials (or only those materials) will still be fine, but this greenlights omitting those materials and using solely PBR materials, for expediency.

I don't blame Firestorm for not wanting to handle all the support questions that will arise from a flawed PBR implementation, but as anybody can attest who's watched the beta group chat scroll by, there would be plenty of support questions even if PBR worked flawlessly. The better the product the less the support demand, but also the later and more urgent that demand, so release timing is a tradeoff.

They really need to have a lot of support material ready, and most of it is going to be "this isn't us, here is a link to the linden feedback page"

Sure, PBR can do awesome things, but most of the time, it's not a step up with the world as it stands, and most of that world is never going to stand any different.

May 12

4 hours ago, Bryte Starlight said:

You nailed my concern here, Coffee.

I'm getting poked a lot over this and all I can do is listen, refer to Linden docs, and try and express the hurt and concerns.

No one wants to stick their neck out, least of all here.

May 12

Amazon drivers who lie about deliveries.

Amazon drivers who lie about giving packages to the building receptionist or mail room. That we don't have.

Amazon drivers who fake my signature and dump the package.

Amazon drivers who misspell my name when faking the signature.

My catfood order not being good enough to bother stealing, so it gets dumped in the hall.

May 11

1 minute ago, Katherine Heartsong said:

Of course with no one to report you, you wouldn't be.

[14:19] Keira Linden: We are also in the process now of evaluating several different products and systems to help with proactive moderation.

May 11

1 hour ago, JUSTUS Palianta said:

Back to the topic i always thought putting a business on a adult sim is bad for business because it restricts access.

It seen as the most permissive for a store to be on. Even if a store isn't selling explicitly adult content they might opt to in the future.

May 11

11 minutes ago, brodiac90 said:

LL haven't directly addressed that, but they did address a similiar situation where what would happen if a child avatar was reported for being a child avatar whilst wearing an adult avi. I would hope they would base it on what the child avatar is currently presenting as.

[14:51] Keira Linden: Jenni, if you are reported and you are in an adult avatar that is how we will evaluate the report.

So if you're in one location as a child, having sexy time in IM with someone somewhere else, and no avatars are involved or can even see each other .. are ya banned ?

May 11

Stop using AI to age check pictures of SL avatars.

They have not been trained on SL avatars. They will hallucinate and vary based on lighting, camera angle, background, etc etc.

May 11

If feels like the ToS has been written with a specific internal goals in mind, and so as not to tie the hands of governance, has been written with a broad brush.

The freak out is everyone suddenly affected by the scope of the rules knowing full well the grid is opinionated guys ready to hammer the letter of the ToS, knowing full well LL will honor that interpretation.

Players are pulling out over this, tier is being dropped, account renewals downgraded, expectations reduced. And not just the child avatar community, but family RP in general. Furry already had one mass migration and were slowly starting to come back, same for the Anime community who are finding VRChat to be very welcoming, even for private adult content.

Why have a family here with a gun to your head when you can take them all to discord and go play another game without breaking the dynamic at all. Why get involved here as an Anime avatar when you can lurk AFK all week and spend weekends on VRC (a common pattern now). Creators are switching to VRC avatars if they have the skill and back porting here if they can be bothered.

If you're not on discord, you should be, because that's where the SL community has been congregating and where much SL related chatter happens.

May 11

We really need a revision of the ratings for G,M and A.

May 11

2 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

There is no law against virtual depictions of children being involved in violent combat. Equating combat to the ban on AP is kind of pointless because the legality of AP is at the root of the whole discussion.

Would I want to see cartoon children getting blown up? Not especially but there's nothing illegal about it.

Who cares what the real world law says .. the SL Law says "Nope."

May 11

1 hour ago, UnilWay SpiritWeaver said:

...

Gonna say it again .. do not leave your avatar unattended. Ever.

Also, you have not read and understood the new rules and faq.

May 11

4 minutes ago, brodiac90 said:

Bringing the topic back to gender and non binary avatars, what modesty layers do you think the following three avatars would need under the policy, particularly the middle one?

Also If you disagree with the current policy then state what you think they should be as well.

Underpants. As would be normal and age appropriate.

Some might wear a vest rather than wander about topless, but that is personal / parental choice.

May 11

4 minutes ago, Sadvhi said:

'm not a legal expert but it seems like the same regulations that govern AI art should also apply content creation in SL

You've also not thought this though ,, AI art can't be copyrighted.

5 minutes ago, Sadvhi said:

Is it legal to create digital art and videos that depict children in violent scenarios using programs such as Sora and Midjourney?

Yes, it is.

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