In the heart of Colorado, along a quite suburban neighborhood, kids aren't in their homes, screaming can be heard from the park nearby and parents are in their homes paying their bills. Everyone is trying to be bronzed. It’s the quintessential new America many glorify, and others detest. Read about it in line at your local grocery store. Few signs of other cultures remain. But on a corner, there's a post sign, it tells us the street. It's pointing out onto a few neighbor and directly towards the small home of one of the neighborhood’s more peculiar residents: Meylin.
on the first floor in total darkness with only a single candle burning around old drinks, I'm cotrolling a virtual cat around Second Life and lounging on my disshelved bed. I like to compare making animations to imagination, and while Second Life is in no way a job or a valid excuse for creativity I like to use it to express fashion, and help me get over how shy I happen to be. I’m always trying to make a connection from real life to Second Life, which nobody really reccomends as the blurred lines have been said to become dangerous. But, I've always been directing my own personal tragedy, and I'm now, following a years-long downward spiral of being antisocial with an unshared virtual home. I'm trying to hit a new upswing here, meet likeminded people. And recently I've discovered that If I don't try now it won't ever happen.
Everything needs to have an up and a down; otherwise it’s just gonna be a straight line—and that’s boring, I don't want to be boring. My life is setting a theme of life’s up and downs. The synchronicity that has always been a big part of my life is stronger now. But I lost it for a while.
I moved to America with family a while ago, as an escape from a particularly trying few years. I have trouble trusting and frankly I've suffered heartbreak, and I'm done looking for love. **bleep** people. What I'm really looking for is someone kind and courtious who's willing to just be there. I often fuel some sort of rock star persona on Second Life, and then I guess that lead to some sort of lack in connections. Virtual one night stands.It never ends well. I'd blown so much linden on girls who just never mattered and then I'll spend my Christmas nailing my brain to the cross of stupidity. I was struggling to deal with being alone, I have fantasies every day about smashing some of their skulls in with a sledgehammer.
Now, for the first time ever, I've decided to try to make real connections, productive things on a game with endless possibilities and, it appears, composure. I seem happy.
I went from discovering the game, being a noob and then I lived on adult sims. And then I had three different online relationships, ending with the last one with someone who wasn't even real. Basically I had to realize that I don’t need to be around other people romantically to fufill that social desire that people need. Okay I know we need this because it's a need on the Sims, and **bleep** sometimes I think I am a sim.
I'm starting to realize Second Life is a place where you could create whatever you want at any time, but not have any distractions, and when I started I thought nothing of Second Life. There is nothing, but really, Less is more.
My house is usually dark. Sure, that’s what you’d expect from my parents. But it’s even darker than that. As I invite others over I usually have to warn my friend that inside,their vision might be a little warped. Bring a flashlight. Often people don't heed my warning and realize they can't see anything. loosing their belongings somewhere on the black carpet. Finding seats is hard. Like playing trust games at my house.
You would have to sit legs touching to see my face. But with the light of my computer screen eventually your eyes adapt. My Second Life home really reflects this. Very traditionally Japan and the lights are at low temperatures.
However it's always very warm looking around Lily White unlike my home. you gotta fill that with something.
I draw for a living. I animate but along with it I play seven instruments which I've taken piano and violin into Second Life. I think it's safer haha.. I was playing guitar, in real life, and I got electrocuted by grabbing a lamp while I had the guitar. It literally left a black stigmata in the palm of my hand, and my thumb was numb for a second, so I was really worried I had nerve damage. Which I don't think anyone in Second Life has created a HUD for that yet.
I rediscovered a lot of my young childhood on Second LIfe, which both influenced the start of a fashion blog by someone who really never did anything of that sorts since I hit puberty around twelve. Musically, I also turned to my toddler years for inspiration; Lily Whiteinfluenced by the likes of David Bowie, the Stooges, Revolting Cocks and Ministry—my favorite records growing up, which really bothered my Japanese father. You see, my mother is Japanese as well but she was born in America and when she came to Japan to raise me she brought along her totally tubular music taste.
I feel like I work better socially in Second Life as well, because although I'm small and young I always happen to end up intimidating everyone else which with a new sort of persona I can't do that anymoe, and if I try, It doesn’t work. Lily White is adorable and unlike real life within 20 minutes into a conversation, any tension or anxiousness slips away.
I’ll always remember realizing that Second Life has opprotunity, petting a virtual cat, Buzzy on one of her many passes. because I enjoyed doing it, even the rough patches. And by escaping the drama of my past, and the self-loathing that followed, I've found a new perspective on life and music. I realized that you’re supposed to have fun. That’s the whole point of making art. It’s not supposed to be painful. Life is painful. Second Life is your way of pissing it out.
I think even Lily goes through growing-up phases, like me.
That included finding solace in (and giving back to) my real friends in this virtual world. You should feel fortunate if you have friends that still care about you after all the **bleep** you’ve done to them, I thought, ‘Well, if they see something in me, then I need to see the same thing. So I had to make this about confidence and determination. I was not going to accept anything less from myself.
I really just want to find someone I can think about and successfully say 'Yeah, "__'s" my friend. We’ve known each other for years. I’ve spent a lot of time with them, I cherish "___"'
I once saw an interview with Guillermo Del Toro, and he said the score reflects what the director wants to say. That song reflects what the actors, the characters are feeling. I thought Lily White would make the perfect statement because in Second Life Lily White isn’t about anyone else. she’s about me, and I know myself that I hate being without friends.
I notice my emotions through Lily. I'm expressive. Lily has started becoming her most violent—and some online commenters say too depressive—Lily White's style. I use her fashion to express my emotions. I never realized it until recently.
It doesn't matter. I still really like who Lily White is. I’m really proud of her. She was written as a sarcastic view of my life sometimes. With the people in my life, there’s the one that you pick and they poison all the rest, then as you try to save the one you pick, they poisons themself, so you have to kill them and then you’re left alone. That's romance. That is a very wide metaphor for everything that’s happened in my life. You make choices and sometimes you pick the wrong one, for the wrong reasons. So, recently I just want a friendship. Nothing so stressful.
I’m not afraid to say that I have those feelings. But I’m not simply like the Little Rascals—I’m not in the Emo Love hating club.
You’re supposed to make things that are a question mark, not an answer.
I've realized, maybe I just like being apart of things. I go to this church in Second Life. I’m not religious. But it was great to have a family setting because nobody is here. The way they approach religion was enjoyable. It was more about the tradition of family. I don't find Christianity agreeable. It was fun—it was essentially a drinking game! I was sad when it closed.
I like things like families although i've never had one because there’s a person that, on the surface, they’re dicks, they’re assholes. But they’ve got something in them, and everyone can be realised. Families see potential. They see a chance for redemption. Sound familiar?
A lot of people don’t think I have feelings like everyone else. But I do, especially for the people that stuck by me during my hard times and new people who are willing to be there for hard times to come. I was making this post for people I don't know. And that’s probably the hardest goal. People I don’t even know hear this stuff. So if I can impress or move or anger the people that I'm not close to, that’s probably the hardest challenge.
The villain is the most important character in the story—it’s the character that creates change, I think. That’s how I see my life, that's really how I see Lily White.
I’ve rediscovered myself, where I'd never be able to in real life. I think that I was buried somewhere. It’s about the up and downs, this idea of birth and growth. I'm looking for people who can almost help in my discovery.
IM ME AT CANISMERCY ON SECONDLIFE c:
i will contact inworld