Good reply Q.
In dealing with people shrinks use a concept of 'mirroring' or technically; transference displayed as projection. People see their behavior in another whether it is there or not. Many posts reveal more about the one placing the post than the person targeted in the post.
One can most often see this when people describe another’s behavior and motivations. They move off the topic issue and stop discussing whether the options are good, bad, necessary, or just evil. Instead they discuss things like the Lab being disassociated from customers. There is no evidence ever provided that is true, it is just opinion provided as fact. I suspect such people are unaware of the personal projects various Lindens have in SL. But, when one is projecting facts are irrelevant.
On axes to grind… some do. Some people have agendas and past grievances. Others are just in their stuff and projecting. Their preferences and viewpoints are not met so obviously the Lab has no clue. While the Lab runs usability tests and reads through the forums, emails, OH responses, JIRA’s, backlogs and more the derogatory poster usually posts from a limited viewpoint.
I've been around SL for about 3 years now. I like lots of the current changes in the development side of the Lab since Phillip's return. That you have taken the time to make this post is nice and I think it a good example of the new openness in LL development and communication.
I read the Office Hours Meeting transcript where this came up. I thought it was clear then that options were not the first solution you wanted see and that better planning could remove the need to some option settings. Nor did I take it new options would never be added. Your OP seems to be consistent with what I read in the transcript. Unfortunately no matter what you do some are not going to get it.