The list is just too long.
I saw a lady showing off her new baby to people in the street. I walked over, pointed at the baby and shouted "N00b!"
I offer friendship to people I pass in the street. When they ask why I think we could be friends I say,"Well. I know we are the same timezone and that always helps."
I've started driving round and round and round the block in order to increase the traffic.
When next door's children kick their ball into my garden, I look in the phone directory for someone with the surname Linden, call them and demand to know what they're going to do about it.
When I got a phone call from a friend who told me that she was shaken up because she had been involved in a nasty crash on her way home from work, I said "Welcome back!"
I made myself a lucky chair. I wrote my intitial letter onto a piece of card and stuck it on the wall by my toilet. I put a box of clothes in colours I hate on the floor along with a CD player containing a CD of happy music. If I need to visit the bathroom, I sit on the loo, take an item of clothing and play the happy music. The only problem is that visitors get a shock when their request to use my bathroom is refused for this reason , "Your letter is not up".