[Do you all think that Second Life is less sociable now than before?]

5 minutes ago, Katherine Heartsong said:

Less? I think so. Certainly different.

I agree with you. 

[Do you all think that Second Life is less sociable now than before?]

On 9/18/2022 at 9:52 PM, Katherine Heartsong said:

Yup.

You should see some of the stuff that gets sent to me via IM. And those are the ones I know immediately have not read my profile.

I keep turning them politely down, but I swear if I was just a tiny bit less honest I'd start cat-fishing the worst ones, only breaking the gender thing to them after we, umm, "danced".

I was wondering Do you all think that Second Life is less sociable now than before? 

[Do you all think that Second Life is less sociable now than before?]

6 minutes ago, Randall Ahren said:

Low expectations is the key to happiness.

I agree. I know no one is perfect at that all the time. But once we practice day by day it does get better. And things seem to go along smoother with others then.  Are you willing do that with others? 

[Do you all think that Second Life is less sociable now than before?]

11 hours ago, blissfulbreeze said:

I'm mostly not parked and not doing something in the background. I'm people watching, reading profiles, listening to music and chatting with friends. 

I chat with others if am not busy. However, too many people think that people are on a buffet and they're there to serve you. Clubs are not a guarantee that anyone is looking for conversation. 

Yeah it's nice to have a conversation but if others are bitter or think that people are there to get their needs fulfilled, it's not right. 

So, imagine if you were busy doing things in SL, and people were IMing you. You're not in the mood to add more conversation because you won't be able to keep up. You're enjoying yourself at the club, chatting with some friends. So you put your busy response on so that you don't have to explain to every IM. Would it be fair if people got upset with you for not paying them attention? What if you got called names for it? What if they flipped out on you because they felt like you should be talking to them? 

Welcome to being a female in SL. Try it sometime to experience what we have to deal with. We're just trying to live our SL life, and we get harassed for it.

 

 

I agree ladies get IM's like crazy from so many people in SL. It's always been like that. And I know it drives ladies crazy. I know I wouldn't want that in SL all the time day in and day out. It would drive me nuts. I don't blame you putting your busy mode on. I would do the same if I kept getting IM's like crazy like that

[Do you all think that Second Life is less sociable now than before?]

20 hours ago, Randall Ahren said:

I typically add people with busy messages at popular clubs to my block list and derender their avatar so that none of my resources are wasted.

I am wondering why you put High expectations on others?  Maybe if you lower your expectations of others and live in the moment then there would be a chance people would start talking to you etc. I would think. But if you have all these high expectations of others and there not doing what you expect them to do then yes you going to be angry at them and then angrier at yourself. I mean only you can change yourself how you handle situations around you. I mean if you want to be the way you are that's ok. That is, you. Only you can change yourself. No one else can't change you. 

[Do you all think that Second Life is less sociable now than before?]

10 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

Just because I'm in a busy place and not responding TO YOU, doesn't mean I'm afk or in another window.  99% of the time, I'm reading profiles while listening to the music.  I checked out your profile.  I probably wouldn't IM you first.  If you IMed me, i.probably wouldn't have much to say.  Whether it's meant as a joke or not,  the part in your 1st life tab about "somebody please talk to me!" would put me off.  

Let’s all be mindful on this forum we are here to talk about the topic if second life being sociable now than before. We should not be slandering other people’s profile in this discussion. Let’s keep it respectful please.

[Do you all think that Second Life is less sociable now than before?]

2 hours ago, Randall Ahren said:

If you want to be alone it's pretty weird to go the busiest clubs in SL and park your avatar AFK with a busy message that you're working in Blender in another window and to leave a message.

It's also rude to use up resources and create lag at a busy venue. But then you don't owe anyone anything, including common courtesy.

 I am a firm believer that our experiences and interactions are solely what we make second life to be. We cannot depend on other people to make us happy. To be honest I think if your lower your expectations in people replying to you, your experience in second life would improve. People have their reasons why they don’t reply and if they don’t just move on till you can find someone that wants to engage in a conversation with you. There are lots of things to do on second life. Maybe self-reflect in yourself what you want second life to bring to you. Second life is no different than real life, because behind every avatar is a real person. Sometimes you have to do allot of digging to receive that trophy. I do wish you the best in second life and hope you soon find a club or group that you can click with.

[Do you all think that Second Life is less sociable now than before?]

15 hours ago, HeathcliffMontague said:

Yep. And that is the problem I guess. Just got back from a racing track and spent time  having to keep sorting my local chat and ignoring some because of IM having  to aplogize later.  They are there as long as SL remains. I have dragged them ,some of them along, but to similar things like I said. 

Well, if you're riding a motorcycle. It's hard to respond to IM's while riding. If you're riding a motorcycle by yourself, I suggest maybe put yourself on busy mode. That it's totally up to you. 

[Do you all think that Second Life is less sociable now than before?]

2 hours ago, Randall Ahren said:

I didn't make the rules. I'm just adapting my game play in response to how most other people play. Hate the game, not the player.

 

It wasn't a block message, so I wasn't being purposely ignored. It was an automatic busy message.

Well, for me when I message someone, they may have their busy mode on sometimes. And I may never get a response from them at all. Because they may have gone to RL or might have fallen asleep. And sometimes the next day I don't even hear from them at all. I try not to take it too personal if they don't respond back to me. Most of the time they do 

[Do you all think that Second Life is less sociable now than before?]

7 hours ago, HeathcliffMontague said:

Still a lot of social places. But it has changed, yes. It's narrowed, in a way.

Gotta find places for you. Wanna drive, drive. Many subcultures even in that realm. Speed, rideout? Drag racing? Bike, car? Both? I exist in all. But:

Wanna boat? Yes. Motor or wind? "Sigh... that again" 

Just one example. Suspect it might exist in other realms too. One of the first convos I had as a relativly new human male was with a tiny zebra. Made me feel welcome.

Oh, I agree with you can do all of that and more. But for me I like hanging out with people. I am a very sociable person. 

It's not really fun doing the things you listed by yourself. It's more fun with one person or a group of people. 

[Do you all think that Second Life is less sociable now than before?]

22 hours ago, Rowan Amore said:

Everyone is different.  I actually dislike being greeted when I arrive somewhere.  It gives me that flashback of "let's say Hi to our newest student, Rowan Amore". Don't like it at all.

My sociable IS going out and about regardless of whether I talk to a single person.  Just being amongst a group is plenty social for me most times.  I rarely ever chat in local.  Never have and really hate when others try to drag me into it by addressing me and asking anything.  I've been this way since day one so I'm no less.social now than I was before.

Now if you message me privately, I'll be more than happy to chit chat forever.

Different strokes and all that.  

I know for me I'll get in a group call with people sometimes. I don't mind that. But I do like chatting one on one as well. 

[Do you all think that Second Life is less sociable now than before?]

23 hours ago, Cate Foulsbane said:

Some of my earliest club experiences were fairly unpleasant.   I'd hear about a popular place, I'd go check it out, find it very crowded and local chat VERY quiet. If I bothered to stick around long enough, I might see some local chat by a small group. Because they knew each other and had common experiences, their chat was essentially private. If I had no clue what they were discussing, I'd stay quiet and soon leave. When I did find a club where new arrivals were greeted by hosts and others, I'd stick around longer and would often end up joining in on a discussion when I had something to add. Making friends came later as I would get to know the regular chatters. Two things I learned and felt from the beginning...it feels bad to be ignored and it feels good to be included. To this day, because of those early feelings, I am almost compulsive about greeting new arrivals in clubs and sometimes other places.  I make an effort to update that person if they arrived in the middle of a discussion (or round of silliness) and, if all works well, the newbie picks up the thread rather quickly.

The thing is, a lot of clubs are more about keeping the place crowded with people who tip...numbers matter...than they do with making customers feel comfy.  I like music, i like dancing, I like local chat. I don't go to clubs to talk to one person in IM . I go out into the world (clubs, etc.) to be sociable. If somebody wants to hear the music but NOT interact with others, they can often find the stream the dj is using and listen from home or while building or sailing or whatever. 

That is true about clubs. And they do make people feel comfy. I know when I go to a club I get greeted from the host and I get greeted from others in the club. 

[Do you all think that Second Life is less sociable now than before?]

On 9/13/2022 at 3:32 AM, Charolotte Caxton said:

I happily throw my friendliness all over. Sometimes my interpretation of friendly isn't the 'norm' lol, whatevs right?

Seriously though, I find SL to be very sociable now as ever. Most residents seem well informed on tech and social constructs.

I know clubs are very sociable and greet people as they come in. But the people on your friends list. Do they socialize with you sometimes? I know for me it's not like it used to be. 

[Do you all think that Second Life is less sociable now than before?]

On 9/12/2022 at 2:20 PM, Rowan Amore said:

And there's always one person in any given crowded.p!ace.who makes the same comment.  It does get tiresome.  No, we aren't bots.  Those would be all those avatars on a sky platform at pretty much every stripper/escort club.

 

The overwhelming local goings-on that used to happen when I started in 09 has thankfully calmed down since then.  I prefer private chat no matter where I go.  Always have.  I don't want to hear anyone's private 1 on 1 chit chat in SL.anymore than I do in RL.  Also, I almost always get a response when I send an IM.  I almost always answer IMs that I receive.  This has basically remained a constant over 12+ years.

I totally agree.  We aren't less friendly.  We just engage differently now.

I agree with you. I rather talk in IM instead of local chat. I may sometimes get in a group call with others. But I do prefer one on one chat. 

[Do you all think that Second Life is less sociable now than before?]

On 9/12/2022 at 12:40 PM, kali Wylder said:

People tend to extrapolate their experiences to conclusions about the world around us. Generally speaking, those conclusions are generally wrong. You were banned from a club where you insulted the owner.  To conclude that SL has become less social based on this experience is not necessarily accurate.  You state your conclusion here in the forum and are called out on it.  You conclude that this is further proof that SL has become less social.  Wrong again.

I agree it's not less sociable in clubs for me. I always get greeted from the host and the people in the clubs. Sometimes so many people say my name in local.  Like I said where the less sociable for me is the people on my friends list. I mean I do make new friends but then like the next day I try IM them and they say they are busy, or they don't respond at all. But some of my friends on my friends list have been responding to me and wanting to hang out. Like I said I do believe it's coming back to Second Life the socializing like it used to be.

[Do you all think that Second Life is less sociable now than before?]

On 9/12/2022 at 12:28 PM, Marius Darkheart said:

It went just that way. TP'd in. Said hello in local. No one said anything. 10 minutes later I kidded around due to the quiet and got the the female part of ownership yelling at me. I didn't engage other than stating it was kidding and left the club.

She was upset about my kidding around that avis that were there are bots. 
Also not uncommon for crowded clubs to have little to no one talking in local, as many others have said.

I didn't realize I was banned till there was a live singer that I enjoy who was performing there and tried to TP in to see her.

There is nothing more. She may have been in a bad mood that day. Sometimes we snap at the little things when we are having an off day. I have no reason to lie about this nor is it my way nor does it make any sense to.
Maybe something happened at the club before I got there and why people were quiet. Just sharing my experience as to why I feel SL is less social. 

This interaction I will also add to why SL is less social as your friendship with the owners seems to be the reason why you are here in this thread and replying to me in the way that you are.

We all have off days. It happens. We aren't perfect. 

 

Well, I am not sure what clubs you go too. But my experience of the clubs I been going too everyone greets everyone in local. And they chat in local to each other. But as far as being less social for me it isn't in the clubs. It's more like the people on my friends list. Some do respond to me when I message them. But some people on my friends list don't. I remember back when I started the people on your friends list would message you when you logged in. But now it seems like they don't anymore. Like it once was. But I do believe it's coming back. 

[Do you all think that Second Life is less sociable now than before?]

On 9/11/2022 at 9:43 PM, Sam1 Bellisserian said:

I have to say that there must be more to this story because I go to this club quite often, over 4 years and I've never known the owner to be like this EVER.  You can't expect to walk in a club and all of a sudden be besties with the regulars.  I've also never seen this club go 10 minutes without someone talking in local. I'm not a regular chatter in local but everyone that is has always been nice and for the most part polite.  The only time I've ever seen anyone get banned were when two couples were fighting because one guy accidently hit his girls spanker and they wouldn't shut up about it in local. They all got banned but that was the only time I've seen it.  So I highly doubt you made an innocent joke about everyone being AFK and the owner cussed and cursed you and you got banned. More to this  story for sure.

Well, when I go to a club. The host always greets people when they walk in, and people talk in local and do gestures. They have fun. I mean I been to some clubs like you said where no one is talking in local. Some people may be afk. I do message people, and some may not respond right away but they do after a while because they go afk and do RL around the house

[Do you all think that Second Life is less sociable now than before?]

On 9/11/2022 at 8:35 PM, Randall Ahren said:

So you agree SL is less sociable now, and we should adapt by being less friendly?

Well, for me I think it's coming back slowly. I notice a lot of old avatars are coming back. Some say they always been around. But will Second Life come back with the socializing like it used to be? I think it is slowly and will come back like it once was

[Do you all think that Second Life is less sociable now than before?]

On 9/11/2022 at 7:28 PM, vanettda Lassard said:

Resident from 2005-2022.  

Rule #1 in SL:  Things change. LindenLabs changes things. Sims change. Regulars who fill those sims change. Residents drop off the radar (maybe they create and alt, or take a SL break, or have RL social / mental / marital / financial issues, or just die in RL) Fads come and go. Lifestyles change. How we interact changes. I loved, and still do, enjoy a completely typing text connection. RP and emoting in text was an art IMHO. In order to keep up you had to be 100% focused on your partner's cues. It was incredibly intimate. I of course use voice now where appropriate in world, and, with the right group, I use Discord while building or dancing in SL. Out of all of this, most importantly, residents interests change. What was cool and exciting ten years ago (SLex? Greedy Greedy? -- although I still play GG to be honest.) is boring as hell. All of it is in a constant flux.

Rule #2 in SL: Let it go. Bend with the winds of change and adapt.

 

I agree with you that people change. But I think the people in Second Life have changed. Not like how it was before. Like I said before when I started Second Life you would be hanging with one group of people and then IMs from others wanting to hang out. I just doesn't seem like it's there anymore. Like it used to be

[Do you all think that Second Life is less sociable now than before?]

On 9/4/2022 at 1:06 AM, Robberinthemuseum said:

I would rather chat in local but some of my friends prefer to chat over discord, so I end up iming, chatting on Discord and chatting in local at the same time. It's not ideal. I think if you could share photos more easily inworld people would chat more there. 

Well, when I talk with some people in Second Life. I ask if they have Discord, and some people tell me they don't. So, we just chat in Second Life or voice chat. 

[Do you all think that Second Life is less sociable now than before?]

On 8/28/2022 at 3:39 PM, Han Held said:

 

I do that, though. The main reason I have an SL social media set up is so that if I go missing for several months I have a convient way to let people know that I am ok and haven't died.

What gets on my nerves is when people get annoyed that I don't contact them through FB instead of SL.

Well, if someone needs to get a hold of me. They can either send me a notecard or send me an offline message in Second Life. I would suggest you tell them that if they keep annoying you like that. 

[Do you all think that Second Life is less sociable now than before?]

21 hours ago, HeathcliffMontague said:

This is very true, and a bit weird. I wonder if folks actually use their RL social media in SL, or if they've created e.g. an FB account with their SL name? Hope it's the latter, using your RL social media in SL just seems very weird to me.

True. 

[Do you all think that Second Life is less sociable now than before?]

On 8/24/2022 at 5:09 PM, Marius Darkheart said:

In my experience it is less sociable. I went to a popular club that seemed packed. Lots of people dancing. Spent 10 minutes there and no one said a word. I asked if everyone there was a bot or AFK kiddingly. Owner of the club messaged me, cursing and insulting. I tried to de-escalate and was banned from the club [redacted].

There are a few clubs where people do chat in local but have found that people are angrier and easily triggered now. Hard to make friends or anything past that.

The chatty clubs tend to be clique-ish in nature and, from my experience, groups of friends that also spend time together outside of the club or on Discord. Seems you need to chat with everyone on Discord as well as in the club. I'm on SL so don't know why I also need to chat with them on Discord instead of group chat.
Not always easy to break into the circle if you aren't also active on the clubs Discord server and facebook and instagram and tiktok and all of the rest of the social media out there. 

Wasn't like this a few years ago. Just enjoying SL on my own and has been productive but do miss how things once were. It does get lonely at times. 

I agree with you also that I do miss things how they were in Second Life. But I do believe it's coming back in Second Life. Like how it was before. 

[Do you all think that Second Life is less sociable now than before?]

2 hours ago, Izdzan Enoch said:

Second Life has always been a mixed bag of sociable and anti-social people, and also very cliquish. There does seem to be less people on the grid now than there used to be back in the day, so maybe the fewer number of people around makes it feel less social. But even years ago there still tons of "get off my lawn" types that either put up no entry barriers making exploring random places a hassle while flying around, or using security system eject balls to orbit you 10 sims away and crash your client. So even then just as it is now, there wasn't a huge friendliness factor unless you simply parked your avatar at the same spot day after day and got to know the regulars.

I agree with you. I think there are less people in Second Life. Because when I started in Second Life and added people to my friends list it seemed like there was a lot to do with the people on your friends list. Like go do things with them etc. But I do believe that part of doing things with people on your friends list is coming back and even the people you just meet as well. 

[Do you all think that Second Life is less sociable now than before?]

16 hours ago, Rowan Amore said:

They're screening their calls.   A lot of people do that.  You IM, they check your avatar and profile and decide whether to respond or not.  Any busy response I've ever received was answered pretty quickly although it rarely happens at all.

Well, some do respond back to me when they are on busy mode. Not always but most when they come back from busy mode. Because some people on my friends list have their avatar's set on busy mode sometimes. Or if I see the person that wasn't on my friends list somewhere at a place, I'll message them again and they respond. So maybe some do check the person's avatar and maybe they check mine as well. I am not sure on that one.