[Tasty Malts]

I need t make a male alt, I could do some serious damage with a male alt.

hmmmmm

[Women's expectations: Unrealistic]

7 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

Some men may see women as sex objects but women use sex to get what they want, too.

Absolutely, both men and women do it. I don't think either holds the torch on that one. What they want might vary but both are equally capable of treating people as objects of conquest, rather than people. 

I do not, in any way, want to seem like I am suggesting only men do this, so I hope it doesn't seem that way. I absolutely know women do too. In fact, someone I know quite well, both in rl and sl, but no longer associate with, does this same kind of crap to guys. It's not the only reason we are no longer friends, but it's definitely part of it. 

Then again, maybe some people like it, or it works often enough for some that they keep it up. It usually makes me laugh more than anything, but sometimes, it bugs me a bit. 

[Women's expectations: Unrealistic]

1 minute ago, Arielle Popstar said:

Now I do tend to dress more conservative when out shopping or doing other activities but still, I just don't experience this and it makes me wonder when certain people are always going on about it like it is a regular thing.

I think it would depend on where you go.

I like clubs in sl, different kinds. Although none of them are adult clubs, in the sense that one might expect suggestive and maybe even downright XXX messages. This sort of thing does happen, in my experience and certainly those shared by others, a lot in some of those places.  I've seen, and received, all sorts of messages from people, mostly male avatars. Some of them, ok, not so bad. Others, absolutely horrible way to introduce one's self, lol.

I take most of it with a grain of salt, honestly. But sometimes, it's irritating when it doesn't creep up until you've "known" someone for a little bit and then all of a sudden, you're a conquest and no longer just a person getting to know another person or have a good time somewhere.

The whole anonymous nature of most places online does tend to have some effect on the level of nerve some people have in this respect too.

Ftr, when people send extremely graphic or ridiculously emoted out messages that transform me from the person I am, to the conquest they want, I laugh. I think it hurts their feelings. If they press their luck, they get an ego check, in local if necessary   
 

 

[Women's expectations: Unrealistic]

22 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

I don't really see that inworld where I am treated like an object

I see you've never been treated as an object of conquest then. I have, not just in sl, but also rl. In rl it can be way worse, but sl has no shortage of this too. 

I am not a thing which one can obtain. I am a person and I come with all of the various bits and pieces, tangible or not, that make me said person. I happen to like treating others as if they follow that same wavelength. Although I have run into many who do not.

I literally got told "now I have a hot gf with a real last name" once, by a guy who was most definitely not my bf, nor would he have ever been. He was extremely excited by the mere thought. Yes, it was stupid and really weird at the time. Add in other things he had said (which I won't share, lmao) over the course of 2 days and, clearly, I stopped being a person quite early on. Obviously, he's not the norm, but I can't say I haven't seen men that treat women as an object of conquest, including myself. 

Women can be just as bad as men, I won't discount that at all. See a male avatar that looks (ymmv) physically appealing in any club or sim who isn't already with someone, and you'll likely find women in that club who would likely treat him as a sexual object and conquest rather than the person he is. Men do it, women do it, not all, but enough that conversations about expectations get brought up more frequently than some might think they should.

[Women's expectations: Unrealistic]

15 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

I generally reject the argument that one's emotional responses to interactions are less relevant or "real" if they happen here.

Yeah, I can't be hit or beaten up in SL. But I can be insulted, condescended to, complimented, etc. And it's real people doing that, just as it is in RL. I can't really see a reason why I should be less insulted or upset about being called a "b*tch" in SL than if it happens in RL?

My earlier response about my personal expectations are applicable to both sl and rl (except in rl I do have the bits with which to mash, should I choose to do so, lmao). Just using your post as a jumping off point.

Feelings can be every bit as real even if their cause comes from an online source. That's not to say they all will be, or the same interactions/responses with others, causes I guess, will be the same for everyone. But online interactions with people, even objects, can very much have a real effect. There are people who try and do their best to separate rl with sl, even trying to separate potential feelings caused by sl interactions. I don't know how successful they are, some may do quite well. I do know how not successful I am at it though. 

You know how hard it is to get kids to understand this concept? Sometimes some adults are a lost cause on that one.

[Women's expectations: Unrealistic]

2 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

In other words, they are arguing because someone hit a "sore spot"? "The truth hurts"?

Might be that the truth wasn't actually presented, at all.

Exactly which expectations are unrealistic? Why are they unrealistic? What expectations does OP, or any other man (woman too I suppose) actually bring to the table themselves? Are they really unrealistic or does OP, or other people, just not like that some women have some expectations they can't meet?

The OP is too vague, and we ran with it. I'm pretty sure everyone expected that. 

[Women's expectations: Unrealistic]

23 minutes ago, Silent Mistwalker said:

You've been lucky then.

I can definitely concede that I have been. If I ever encounter a jar I can't open this way, though, this thread will certainly help!

[Women's expectations: Unrealistic]

I just rap the side/top of the jar (lid) with either a butter knife or the handle of whatever utensil is in my hand. Works like a charm on even the most difficult of jars. I've never had it not work. 

[Women's expectations: Unrealistic]

I think overall, equal numbers of both men and women have unrealistic expectations. That's not to say all or even most people do. I believe those with very high expectations are also a minority in the grand scheme.

The experiences I have had in sl have contributed greatly, along with rl, to me figuring out myself and what I want, in both worlds. It may sound like I have very high expectations, but in reality, they're pretty tame. I've just yet to meet anyone in sl, or rl, that checks all the boxes. I won't compromise on the very few expectations I have, just because someone, anyone, thinks I should. They're extremely reasonable and if someone doesn't meet them, we simply won't be compatible and I won't pretend we will eventually (been there, done that, wore the shirt then burned it)

My expectations:

-treat me and others with the kindness and respect you expect

-good sense of humor. I can be crass af, I can be punny as hell. I tell bad jokes, and I don't just mean nsfw bad, but groan-worthy bad. 

-yes, you initialize the convo. I rarely ever do, and when I do im someone, it's either already a friend or something important. I'm terrible at initializing a convo, a flaw I have always had and clearly don't intend to fix. I consider it a feature now. I can only turn it off at work, anywhere else, you better start chatting first or it's going to get awkwardly silent. 

-don't just start messaging with how, sexy, cute, etc you think I am, or anything else stupid. I, unlike many, don't mind a hi, hello, or brief greeting. As long as you don't start off with a pickup line from word go, especially one revealing your actual intentions (see next item), you're golden.

-not looking to jump into my pants the first time we meet. I've said this before, but I'm not looking to mash pixel bits, I'm perfectly capable of taking care of my own rl needs. I'm not a nun. Should that event ever be put on the table, it won't be within days of meeting. Go find virtual satisfaction elsewhere my dude, you've got two hands, make use of them. (also, I have no pixel bits with which to mash, and I don't intend to spend $1kL or more on them anytime soon for someone to polish their knob). This is the expectation most men take serious issue with and suddenly have connection issues, lmao.

-if looking for a relationship (sl) that intends to be more than friends, there simply has to be some physical attraction (not sorry, everyone has preferences and I know what I bring to the table, lol), I enjoy looking at nice things, and I'm sure others do too. Plus who can resist a sweet cuddle or sensual dance with someone they find attractive? Some people can I suppose, I'm not some people

-not looking to change me, or have me change them, of course minds are forever changing, but the basis of who we are, not looking for (nor offering) mod perms on a whole person here. although I did once help a male friend fix his av, he was trash at making shapes and he looked like a dorito, he asked, I obliged and now he's cute af and his bf thinks so too (surprise!) 

-enjoy exploring, and all that entails. I like to click things. I like to sit on things and I love to explore, sometimes slowly, sometimes not. I enjoy having fun, and also winding down.

-enjoy cuddling, dancing, chatting (about whatever we're comfy chatting about)

-not have a rl, or sl, partner. I know, this is a big one, but I will not be "the side piece", or be with someone who needs one, nor will I contribute to another woman's woes because her partner is spending time with me-even just emotionally.  Been there, done that, great friends with his now ex-wife in rl. 

My expectations are not that high, they do however make very good use of the fact that I know my worth, my likes, my desires and every single boundary I will never cross or allow. That knowledge sometimes can be a problem, and why I remain woefully, or happily (depends on the day) single in sl and have been so for years.

To me, this is common sense and everything I'd be willing to fit others' expectations too. Anything more may come in time, depends on the relationship, but as a foundation, I'm not budging on these things. I wouldn't expect a man to budge on theirs either. If this is unrealistic, then call me a unicorn and I'll forever remain unrealistic....but still cute af, so 😛 

 

 

[Oh hell yes! -- Pet Delights!]

Pet delight of the day

I absolutely love my job. It's tiring, a lot of hard work, long hours, absolute chaos at times. My coworkers have selective hearing often, they can also be pretty mean. Cohesiveness is rare, I treasure it when it appears. I often come home splattered with some known, and maybe unknown, substance(s), countless added germs and random odd gifts in my pockets. I have a lot of "really cool rocks"  and "neat things". I'm supposed to be in charge but you'd never know it if you stopped by.

Yet it is still the best job I have ever had. I won't be all cliché and say I don't do it for the money. I like having a paycheck so I don't, you know, die. But the rewards beyond that, incalculable. 

Today just reminded me how friggen lucky I am to have a job I love, which brings me an immense amount of joy, even when I need a nap., and probably a snack too. 

[Ban lines - a proposal]

7 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said:

When should ban lines show up? 

For me, I don't see a reason to restrict the distance at all. I'm not sure why the lab hasn't yet figured out how to add that sort of slider as someone else suggested and then people can choose their own distance in the same way we do draw distance. 

8 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said:

How long of a delay is necessary before ejection?

Usually the 15 second and up ones offer me ample time. I've been caught by some 10 second ones before that didn't give me quite enough time. Anything under 10, I'm way more likely to get caught unless I'm moving super fast. It's not the land owner's fault, or problem, though. This is what I call a me problem. It affects me and only me, so, I think people should set their security to whatever they want or think they need. I would never dictate what they SHOULD do, because I'm not paying for it, lol.

10 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said:

Is it necessary to Send Home an avatar, when a simple ejection should be sufficient?

This likely depends entirely on where someone is ejected to. The one corner I was talking about used to eject people right back to the corner, but on the wrong side sometimes which causes a perpetual loop. I don't know that there'd be a fix for that or not. I think it just sent it to the next closest parcel which happened to be right there, but on the border, which is where the problem sits. That's probably way less common than just being sent to the next parcel over. Another component to that though is the person could be ejected to a parcel they can't be on either and they could get stuck in a loop there too. This one's probably way more subjective and dependent on the situation at the time. I don't think there is a universal answer.

12 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said:

Also, can we get objects to bounce off ban lines instead of getting stuck in them?

Sometimes this happens, and sometimes it doesn't. Banlines have no rhyme or reason to them, they do whatever tf they feel like doing at that moment I think. That probably lends a lot more credence to why estates and property owners don't want renters using them. Not just because they're ugly, but because they're also a bit unpredictable and you can't always assume one thing or the other will happen. You really don't know until you hit it. 

[Ban lines - a proposal]

I just wanted to say, in case I didn't make it clear, I don't mind banlines or security devices, at all.  I think everyone should have whatever level of privacy they can get that they desire. I do wish some people didn't do the zero second warning, only because things happen and people can easily accidentally cross your borders without trying to. I think those zero second warnings are a lot fewer now than they once were. But if people think they need them, then they do. 

My only  real complaint at all is that I can't always tell, sometimes until it's too late, where the security, including banlines, actually is. If it were easier for me to tell, it would be easier for me to nearly never encroach on others' land. Making it easier to see is a responsibility left up to the ones that run the place, the lab, though, not residents.  Just because I like wandering definitely doesn't mean I should be free to roam the grid wherever and whenever. I don't pay for others' land, they do and they make the rules, and I do my best to respect others' rules. 

That said, if I accidentally end up in your yard because a sim crossing or ill-tempered vehicle decides to go homicidal on me and thrust my lifeless body through time and space, accept my sincerest, probably, apologies now. Feel free to boot my behind home, to the cornfield or wherever else you wish. I certainly won't take offense, even if it's intended, because that poo is funny as hell. I'll probably be too busy laughing at myself to leave of my own accord anyway. 

[Ban lines - a proposal]

2 hours ago, animats said:

If you find one, bug LL into putting up guard rails or traffic cones or something by submitting a support ticket

I think that might actually be what this little triangle is supposed to be, a fix to let people cross that 3 sim crossing. It works as intended, as long as you're in that little jagged area. But if you're even the teeniest bit outside of it, BAM, lmao. It's quite funny actually. I lost a plane there once that just kept right on going without me. I didn't pay attention to where it got returned from, but it took off like a bat out of hell. You have to go a bit slow, or at least I do, and doing it in aircraft can be a bit more tricky, but doable now that I know it's there. It'll probably still catch me now and then, it's a stubborn little beast, but I'm way more stubborn. Even if it's annoying, I'll just laugh and try again.

[Ban lines - a proposal]

53 minutes ago, Silent Mistwalker said:

I'm sorry but it was funny to watch. It took him a while to figure out he needed to relog.  The jerk did deserve it.

Oh it IS hilarious, no doubt, especially when someone deserves it, lol. I was lmao at myself when  got stuck, I looked ridiculous and it was awesome. It's definitely not the first time. I love the sl quirks sometimes. 

I nearly always just relog back into plum or some other empty sandbox place when it happens, just in case. If I forget and log back in the same location and get stuck again, well, it's my own damn fault, lmao.  I laugh at myself, log out and change location lol. 

[Ban lines - a proposal]

5 minutes ago, diamond Marchant said:

However, the mini-map does not show the banlined parcel as pink until you also see the yellow banlines inworld. This occurs when you are approximately 8 meters from the parcel border. That's right, EIGHT meters. The video below demonstrates.

Oh, thank you for that info!

So really it's the same problem, not enough distance between the "don't go there" indicators and when you might potentially hit them, especially in any kind of vehicle.  I never realized they turned pink at all, just the white parcel boundary lines. Maybe I haven't paid close enough attention. I mostly use the minimap for navigating through channels, and around people when I go places. Some people get really mad if you accidentally bump them, lol. 

When last I ran into banlines they definitely didn't appear at 8m out, I would've seen them before I hit them. But that could just very well be one of those individual things like any other issue someone might run into with sl. Lag of some sort, not the most optimal pc specs, anything and everything that might be client side, or the fact that they sat right on a sim crossing even. Those all may contribute to why I don't see them until I come right up on them. It could just be a me issue, I definitely can't discount the possibility. I do know it's annoying though, lmao. Security devices are a bit less so for me, because most give me ample time to gtfo, lol. I like that people can have their security, so I totally understand it.

Is there a debug setting one can alter that makes it so banlines show up from a further distance? I know draw distance has no effect at all on them, but I haven't scoped the debug settings enough to know if maybe it's in there. I should look, maybe there is a setting. 

 

[Ban lines - a proposal]

38 minutes ago, Fionalein said:

Unlike orbs they do?

I'm not sure what you're asking, but I wish all security options, banlines or devices, showed on minimap. It would make things far less problematic for everyone, I think.

[Ban lines - a proposal]

35 minutes ago, AmeliaJ08 said:

Ban lines clearly indicated on the map would be useful wouldn't it?

If they showed up on the minimap it would help a lot. If they already do, I'm not sure how to turn that on. I always have minimap up.

I'm pretty sure that one of the driving forces with all of the different huds created for travelers is the lack of advanced notification that "hey, you can't be here". Those huds are really helpful in some areas especially if you're flying or sailing because some security devices extend further than they need to. Those huds make it much easier to avoid those areas or at least navigate them a bit better. Vehicles in sl can be tricky and sometimes do wtf they want. 

There's an edge by one of the big mainland (the peanut one) where 3 different sims meet. Those crossings can be a pain all on their own, but the worst part about that particular crossing is that you MUST cross right in this one particular corner on one of the sims, within this little jagged sort of triangle shape or all sorts of things go wrong. I don't know if the people who rent or own that area still use a security orb, but there was one there that had a zero second immediate removal. Aside from the zero second warning, the main problem with that one is that it didn't send you home. What it did was send you right back to the corner where the three sims meet, but right on the inside edge of that triangle instead of the outside edge where it's safe. Then you'd get stuck in a loop. It will usually remove you from your vehicle, possibly remove stuff from you and once it put me in a perpetual fall I couldn't get out of because the crash was taking forever.

Thankfully the minimap shows land boundaries nicely, so you can see that little shape while still moving, if you remember to turn them on. It's a bit more difficult to navigate with the full map up, but minimap, it's easier. It took me a few times of hitting that loop there on different occasions to figure out turning on land boundaries on the minimap would save me a lot of headaches. That's when I realized the triangle was there. 

[Ban lines - a proposal]

1 minute ago, AmeliaJ08 said:

Think of the average parcelled up estate though, you're never more than a few meters from your neighbours so you do see them if they're right next to you.

A parceled up estate is where I ran into them. I was running in some town that has multiple sims and ran from a park into what apparently was someone's yard. They didn't appear until right when I hit them. If they had appeared even 3m from where they were, I would've seen them and stopped running. 

I've rented in plenty of places where people have them. Usually the only thing right on or near parcel boundaries would be fences, surrounds and landscaping, people don't tend to stand right there on the boundary. Unless I was really close to the parcel boundaries (2m or less), they did not appear. They have never ruined my view of anywhere else on a sim. So unless that has changed, and my experience since coming back suggests it hasn't, they still can't ruin a view from one parcel to the next. The excuse that they somehow ruin the view from one parcel to the next is a bit silly, because they really don't.

The excuse that they can cause people problems when they encounter them though, is very valid, because they can and they do. That's why I say the only visual problem they really present is that people can't see them fast enough to avoid them. Visually, they're far less of a problem than they are functionally. 

[Ban lines - a proposal]

21 minutes ago, AmeliaJ08 said:

Just curious what issues they cause on the average estate?

The same problems they would cause any land they're on. They don't just stop misbehaving because it's an estate. 

 

21 minutes ago, AmeliaJ08 said:

Are people driving vehicles around those?

Sometimes, yes. I've been to many estates that have public access that have things like vehicles, horses, bikes, hot air balloons, etc. that can be used to traverse the land. Those aren't just restricted to mainland. Not all estates are just properties where people rent homes and stuff. There are even groupings of estates that form one continuous form of land where people can travel between them. Even avatars can get stuck and smacked in the face by banlines though, you don't have to be in a vehicle for them to be a problem. I got stuck in one the other day when I hit it and I was just out running. I hit the perfect storm of both a sim crossing and banlines. It took off my hair and eyeballs as it caught me like a fish in a net, lmao, and crashed me. It sucks not seeing them in advance. I wouldn't have crossed the sims there if I had seen them before I got right to it. 

 

21 minutes ago, AmeliaJ08 said:

They do ruin the looks though, especially when an estate is parceled as efficiently as possible.

How do they ruin the look if you can't even see them until you come right up to them? I do understand people thinking those yellow lines are ugly when you get right up on them. I don't agree they're ugly, but from a distance they absolutely do not ruin a view.  If they could be seen from a further distance, I might understand, but they can't be. They don't show up until you're close, which is part of why they present so many problems. People can't see them in time to stop, change trajectory or just move over even in some cases. This is why people have made different kinds of huds for travelers. They often map where security and banlines can be found because the inworld indications are often far too late. 

[Ban lines - a proposal]

36 minutes ago, AmeliaJ08 said:

the visual problem they cause

Aside from people just thinking they're ugly (I understand, but I don't agree), the only real visual problem they cause is that we can't see them as well as we should be able to. They don't show up from far enough distance, which makes them invisible until it's nearly too late, and in some cases until after it is. Being able to see them isn't a problem, regardless of their design, not being able to see them presents way more problems than their ugliness. Although the lab could make them look prettier if they wanted, globally speaking, I'm sure.

Being invisible doesn't make them function any better, they're still rife with issues regardless. They would be even if the lab chose a design that more people thought pleasing. I think that's actually why some estates don't want people using them, not because they're ugly (even if they say that's why), but because they can cause too many issues.

Their function and behavior is what the lab really needs to work on, if they can, but that's really a different topic. 

[Ban lines - a proposal]

I've traveled around the mainland a lot. Honestly, I'd rather see a big wall and KNOW for certain it's there, it would make things easier. Most of the security systems I run into give ample warning 20-60 seconds now it seems, which is nice. I still run into some zero second ones, but they're a bit less common than I remember them being in the past.  

I'd still rather have orbs that give me enough time to get out of wherever it is I'm not supposed to be. But if banlines are used, I really wish they were even more visible so I could avoid coming even close to them. I don't want them invisible, because there is no rhyme or reason to how things will behave if you hit them. It's frustrating to get un-sat, lose attachments, get sent home, have your item  returned to you (or not in some cases), crash hard, have to relog or any other number of things that happen when you hit them. I don't care if they're giant neon bars covered in penii, the visual clue that "hey something is here, you probably can't come in" doesn't bother me one bit. I know some people think they're ugly. I don't personally care about how they look, just that I can  see them. 

[How Does Your SL Look Today?]

2 hours ago, Orwar said:

   People put such weird things on their pizzas. Can't everyone just have theirs with onions, gorgonzola, and smoked horse sausage like normal people?!

Nay

[How Does Your SL Look Today?]

8 minutes ago, Istelathis said:

A witch!  She turned me into a Newt!

You don't look like a newt

You must've gotten better

[How Does Your SL Look Today?]

20 minutes ago, Istelathis said:

There are many sins against nature, most of which are forgivable.. but pineapple on pizza is just morally bankrupt. 😜

So what you're saying is that I'm never going to be Scrooge McDuck on the morals front?

I think I'm okay with that. Bring on the pineapple!!

[How Does Your SL Look Today?]

I went back to Lake Oblivion (think that's the name, slurl below) today. Ok, so I don't really FIT on the horse, lmao, still it's a really pretty sim. Also, these horses are homicidal, we went through the woods, off a bridge and through a river with some, I'm pretty sure, homicidal ducks (or maybe swans, they never really rezzed lmao)

 

Yes, those are goats on yoga mats. If you stand here long enough, they'll push you too.

slurl in case you're wondering where it is, it's a nice public sim (I think it's public, if it's not, they don't seem to mind my intrusions, lol) http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Chronotis Empire/131/215/23