Sorry your friend "poofed" I do a lot of the same stuff and I'm noticing it's not that easy to find other girls to talk to here in SL, message me anytime!
Yesterday I had a group flood my chat with spam, it took me a few steps to figure out what it was, when I did, it was a group that I did not "join" but it had me as a member. Maybe check your groups and leave any suspicious ones?
I can't log in either, keeps directing me to the grid status which says nothing about it, lol. I couldn't tp, so I logged out and can't get back in now.