Questions For A Wallflower

[CanisMercy]

So, I've been on Second Life for about a year now and I've realized that I won't make any friends being as awkward and antisocial as I am. It's not that I don't want people to talk to it's just that I'm too shy! And I really can't just sit around and wait for the right person to IM me. So my initial question is, How do you meet people if you're so awkward? Does anyone else have this problem?

[Lindal Kidd]

This isn't really the right forum for your question...but I'll answer it anyway.

Notice that you just made a rather bold statement, right out in public, with your post here...so I have to say, I can't agree entirely with your self-assessment as a shy wallflower!

Now all you have to do is take that same attitude that you had when you wrote your post, and apply it to your in-world communications.  Walk up to people and say Hi!  Here are a few rules of Second Life Etiquette that may help you come across as a self confident, assured, and sophisticated person.

• Don't send out a Friends offer without at least some prior conversation with a person.  After you've talked for a while, you'll get a feeling for whether you like them, and possibly a notion of whether they like you.  THEN ask, "May I add you?"  and if they say yes, send the Friends offer.
• Start conversations in local chat.  If there is a crowd around and a lot of chatter, or when you want to speak more privately, then move the conversation to IM.
• Start with a compliment!  "I love your hair!  Could you tell me where you got it?"
• Don't ask for Real Life information.  Many people don't want to give that out, especially to people they've only just met.  Instead, offer information about yourself..."I'm from Scotland," or "I'm married and have an eight year old daughter."  Or "I like bluegrass music."
• Read their profile.  If that looks interesting and the person seems to have some interests in common with you, it's a good way to get a conversation going.  "I see you've been to Caledon Oxbridge.  Have you taken any of the classes there?" Or, "That group you belong to, "Waffle Stompers," looks interesting.  What's that all about?"

Go to places where there are people, and preferably ones who share your interests.  If you like roleplay, go to roleplay sims.  If you like couples dancing and old fashioned music, go to formal ballrooms.  If you prefer country and western, go to country bars.  If you like sailing, go to a yacht club, and so on.

Join groups that interest you.  There are groups in SL for just about anything you can think of.

Remember, even if your attempt to make friends with one person doesn't work out, keep trying.  Pretty soon, you'll meet someone (probably several) you like, and who like you back.  Also remember, there's no need to feel shy.  You are safe behind your computer monitor, no one can see you...only your avatar and your text.  That can provide a very comforting feeling of safety for a shy person.  And if things go really badly, you can always just teleport away, or log off, or Mute someone who's being a jerk.