Question about roommates

[TheWinterStorm]

So I'm hoping to hear from people who have experience with roommates. Any success stories or issues that commonly come up in such situations.
And maybe some suggestions about good places to look for a roommate. I know there are adoption places for people looking for parents/kids/family. Are there places like that for looking for roommates.

I'm considering looking for a roommate but not really sure if it would be worth it. I'm just getting bored being on my own. We wouldn't have to always do things together or be best friends but it would be great to have someone to chat with and kind of touch base with.

I'd prefer pg living arrangements and not have to come home and interrupt any adult activities.

[Freya Mokusei]

I share my land with others for free, does that count?

We each have our own spots - organised by altitude - but there's a lot of cross-movement. I might go upstairs to find one of them, and any of them can find me down on the ground. I'm not sure I could imagine living in "the same house", or being limited in what I could build by using walls. Just explaining because our experience (and what makes us happy) will differ.

I can't imagine there's places set-up in-world to find roommates, all of my stayovers are just 'mates'. As in, friends. Organic social structures are best!

The only real thing to bear in mind is not to teleport around without asking - my place isn't at all PG or family-based (admittedly I don't really know how such structures work in SL - do the parents still send the kids "to the movies"? I dunno, still sounds like interruptions), and popping in unannounced happens. Usually it's good for a giggle, none of us really mind, but it's polite to ask.

Another important thing is that depending on how you set up the land, not everyone may have permission to ban or eject, or other moves to get rid of undesirables (you can use groups, but these have limitations). In this case you'll want a scripted solution, something that allows people to protect themselves while not pestering new visitors or random passersby.

Also - don't share finances unless you're happy to lose the land. If your roomie can't/won't pay rent one time your place will go byebye.

[Amethyst Jetaime]

The first real house I had in SL that wasn't a newbie skybox I shared.  We got along great because we were friends and respected each other a lot.  We had known each other for a few months before getting the house.  I've also had roommates in RL too.

Here are some things I'd suggest:

Before they move in, discuss and agree on what the rules of the house will be.  Both should contribute to this, it shouldn't be just you dictating them. Both should be able to voice what they consider deal breakers.  If you disagree on something try to work out a compromise if you can't then go your separate ways.  Write what you agree to down, not as a set in stone contract but as a record of what was agreed to refer to in the future.  Be flexible too.  As time goes on either of you may have issues that come up that require a change or addition to the rules.

Be clear on how many prims the roomie can use and if they are allowed to furnish their own room and if they can contribute to the public rooms decor.

Have a reasonable probationary period to make sure you are compatible.  Either party can change their mind without a lot of rancor or having to explain things.

Charge rent.  It will make you both feel better about the situation. You won't feel your being taken advantage of and your roomie will feel like a roomie and not a sponge.  Rent should be divided equally if your roomie will get the same benefits and authority that you have.  If not then each persons share of the rent should reflect it. 

Be clear what amount your roomie will be responsible for paying toward the rent and when it is due.  It's best if both parties can afford to pay the entire rent if either can't.  Even though you are the owner, you never know when RL will throw you a serious curve ball, making it difficult for you to pay your share either because you just don't have the money or you can't log in to pay it.  Limit the time period that one person should have to foot the bill though and have an agreement on how and when it will be paid back. 

Lastly, roomies are great company, but sometimes people need their own space too.  Neither of you should rely on the other to entertain yourself.  Neither of you should get upset if the other decides they want to do something with other people or by themselves.  There should also be respect for each other's privacy.

If you are going to share a house, it is great if you can have a skybox that is available to both of you should you wish privacy or want to entertain people when your roomie isn't up to it.  It doesn't have to be elaborate, a simple box with a tp from the house, furnished like a rec room with minimal low prim furnishings is fine.

[Aislin Ceawlin]

Excellent post, Amethyst! I've only had one room mate in SL through the years (aside from 2 SL husbands) She has been my RL best friend since we were about 6 or 7 (and that's a loooong time, lol) so, there's never been an issue with anything. If I have a home, I always make sure it has 2 bedrooms in case she needs one, and she does the same. We never charge the other rent, just because. It's just one of those "If I have a home, so do you" kind of things.