I'm addicted to SL

[Melita Magic]

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AmberMisteryrouge wrote:

I think this is a real problem of mine, i've had several avatars before (like 2 years ago) and the reasion i quit wasn't because i grew tired of SL it was because i loved it too much and was scared that that would create problems in my RL...i abandoned alot of friends and i have a nice SL starting, very promising, but still i decided to quit.

When i created this avatar i told myself i would be more carefull (i missed SL) but i got so scared i uninstalled the viewer right after i created my avi and walked around for a bit, so i keep myself on the forums so i don't get addicted like i was before...

Is anyone there with a similar problem? What do you think about this?

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If  you have an addictive personality then that is a tendency you will always deal with, no matter what the context. So, you just might ask yourself: Does SL make my life better? Neutral? Or worse? 

If better or neutral then I don't see the problem. There are worse things to be addicted to, if you are even addicted to SL. Are you perhaps confusing really enjoying something with being addicted to? Perhaps you were subtly taught at some point in life that you are not supposed to really enjoy something just for its own sake - just for fun? Dig deep and ask  yourself why would you feel guilty about a hobby? Unless the hobby is hurting your life in some way - neglecting obligations that do help your life, just to spend time in SL.

For some, SL really helps them: break through social anxieties; be someone they cannot be in RL; do things they cannot do in RL; stress relief. Coping with traumatic experiences: it's been known to help people with PTSD in the right SL settings, by re-creating a traumatic setting in which, this time, they are in control.

The only red flag for me is the part about you abandoned your friends. RL or SL? I'm not sure how that ties into your SL time, because it's unclear what you meant.

[Vincent128]

In my opinion, if you have problems in your real life, you should solve these by getting involved in real life, not by living in a second.

If you get the priorities the other way around (SL = your first). I think it might even hold you back and create all sorts of problems in your real world. (hasn't this been proved many times already?)

And think this: Do you really want a hobby where you're sitting in front of your computer screen? To the real world, that's just what it is. It's a hard world, yes. But that's the thing; you can get much more satisfaction and pleasure out of it.

[Coura]

Actually I have to strongly DISagree with that... an alcoholic can quit but then something triggers the craving for alcohol and they relapse... so while for some people that could be the case, not so much always.

[Coura]

Read and apply this to your life, and I promise you it will help any addict if followed correctly. It is long, but what I have to say cannot really be shortcutted or things cut out very easily, as there are so many aspects to cover and for some it has to be broken down in order to be understood...

yeah take it from someone whos been highly addicted to SL. I have been set back financially, poor performance at work and in every day life due to massive sleep deprivation (when that "few more minutes" turned into "few more hours" on days when I had to go to work the next morning)... the list of RL detriments to my health goes way on. From someone who knows what its like to experience addiction to SL, my best advice for now is

1. first and foremost
"There is a way to forsake much and lose nothing; and to do this is to gain much, much more."( -Me)

What that means is, and what I personally believe that God showed me when I quit before is that you have to see that you're gaining more than you're forsaking when you leave an addiction behind.

Think on the things you gain by losing the addiction, think of the bad things the addiction causes for you (and dont forget and only remember the good in it because if you do, you start to want to come back... people do this with partners too).

2. Keep making RL personal goals and striving for those because when one stops making goals, one falls behind. (Or as I like to say, "If you're not moving forward you're moving backward.") This, too, makes room for relapse.

3. Small doors lead to big doors.
For any addiction it starts out as just a little bit.
Then a little more...
A little more...
Until eventually it's a full fledged problem.
It's easier to say no to going through, or actually to shut the smaller doors than it is to close the bigger ones... trust me, they get heavier with size.
For instance, I cannot play computer games, video games, dress-up apps, draw furries or nekos, because it is a trigger effect for me and makes me want to return to Second Life. Everything I look for from those things is what I actually find in SL, so because the want for those triggers is not as great as my want for what the triggers lead to, I have to shut down those triggers.

4. one more thing... 
I've noticed that literally every. single. addiction. releases dopamine / seratonin / "a happy chemical" in our brain. If we didnt find pleasure in it, we wouldn't want it to begin with so this makes sense.
That being said, I believe one thing that is VITAL is to find healthy replacements for that pleasure, such as spending time outdoors or spending time with family / friends. If not, one often becomes miserable for lack of pleasure and seeks out that addictive pleasure once again.

Regardless of who on this forum doesn't believe you're addicted, deep down you know whether you are and probably how strongly you are/have been as well. If you know you are then dont let anyone convince you otherwise because you have to admit it in order to solve it; if you're not solving it you're causing yourself troubles. If you're admitting it and you quit before stick with it.
Me personally, I always say, "Am I really going to let some inanimate object have control over me??"
Funny thing is, it can't. It's an illusion. I am in control all along but choosing to do what I strongly desire to do because I see value in that way I am choosing. Thats why it is soooo important for addicts to utterly uproot their beliefs and change their priorities and what they see value in.
If you dont control yourself, SOMEONE is bound to come in and control you for you. (example if you have attendance problems because you are playing SL, there are consequences; loss of job, etc.)

I hope this helps others along the way. I know it's a lot to read but thanks for sticking it through and reading it anyway, to all who did. Good luck and best wishes to all. :cathappy:

[xatuliko]

You know i thought that i was addicted to SL too,but i m taking some kind of breaks from SL. there are some cases when i see dreams with my SL avi and main Charecter in  my dream is My SL avi,SO it makes me stop playing for some time, and after my head is finally relaxed from it i m starting playing again :D Maybe person who will read this will think that i m so Idiot and Crazy but i m normal its hard to belive but i m absolutly normal and its just phsicology of every persons mind in my case it like that and there is nothing unnatural in it !