Tolya Ugajin
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Posts posted by Tolya Ugajin
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49 minutes ago, Lindal Kidd said:
Tolya has analyzed it in a way different from any other I've seen, and I've seen this debated many times.
A while back, I laid out the benefits in a blog post. It's a bit dated, but still relevant, I think. https://acrossthegridwithlindal.blogspot.com/2018/01/premium-benefits-creep.html
Why, thank you! I love it when I'm being original.
When it comes to money, I analyze things six ways to Sunday. I've never actually had a Premium membership, because my ego wouldn't let me live on a parcel that small, and even when I didn't own sims, I spent easily $100+ per month (and those were slow months). I'm extremely fortunate in that. Anyone who is going to make SL a regular part of their life should look at is as a budget item, and budget accordingly. Otherwise, SL becomes another stress point in your life any time money is tight and it's not something you're worked into your budget.
It would be very nice for those with a more midrange budget if LL would allow ownership of homesteads without owning the full sim.
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My girl and I are currently binging on "How to Get Away with murder". It's fun because I literally want every character to get murdered (I originally didn't want Oliver to, but, nah, through him into the sausage grinder, too, now).
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Nah, buy a full sim, upgrade to 30,000 prims, and rent out whatever you don't use for spending money...
...if your budget allows it. Which is the key. How much do you want to spend, total, per month?
$20/less - probably premium is best. You get a decent little house and a regular "salary".
$20-$200 - probably better off renting a private parcel that affords the space and prims you want, and buying $L as you need them. 300L/wk is a fraction of what your spending anyway.
$200+ per month - probably best off buying a full sim. You also get a higher level of service than with premium. Note also, this is a foolish idea if you don't plan to keep spending at that level for the long term.
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1 minute ago, Seicher Rae said:
I vote for genderappropriationsplaining. I've been the victim, the victim I say, of it several times in the Forums. In fact, I've been mansplained by women far more than I have by men (assuming gender that is). I dunno. I'm old. I get confused. BUT I'M NOT AS OLD AS PEOPLE WANT ME TO BE, DAMNIT!
Isn't "masplaining" limited to when men talk to women as if women could not POSSIBLY understand the "manly arts", such as fixing cars, sports, power tools, shooting guns, and surreptitiously scratching your gonads?
While we're on mansplaining, is womanspreading a thing now, too? I mean, there is a very good anatomical reason men generally sit with their legs spread a bit, and while I can only assume (since I lack lady bits and don't wear skirts) why woman don't do the same, I've heard a lot of complaining about manspreading but never see women do it.
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25 minutes ago, Seicher Rae said:
Yeah, sorry, going to disagree with this one. You are absolutely correct that #OKBoomer was a response to a behavior and not a slur. And for the exact reason you stated. The #OKBoomer was a funny and appropriate response to cloddish behavior on the part of said Boomer. They were well-deserved. However, things rapidly morph on the Internet, and that well-deserved snark, which was akin to rolling your eyes, has become a diss and a slur. Some people do still use it as you described, but the vast majority of the comments now are mean-spirited and absolutely dismissive and ageist.
Gensplaining goes both ways. Millennials, Xenials, Gen X, Boomers, are all guilty of having 'splained. (And women can mansplain
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If a woman mansplains, is it transplaining, or womansplaing? Or is it genderappropriationsplaining? Before today I'd never heard of "gensplaining" so I want to make sure I understang this new lingo.
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1 minute ago, Ashlyn Voir said:
Wrong movie. Pfft. It came from the movie Friday with Ice Cube and Chris Tucker.
If it didn't have lots of explosions, gunfire, and gratuitous nudity, I likely never saw it.
10 minutes ago, Amina Sopwith said:Oh fgs. You...explained the concept to me as if I'd said anything on this thread to suggest I didn't get it. I responded by saying I know exactly how it's received because, well, it doesn't take a genius to grasp the notion.
If what you actually meant, or are trying to say now, is "ah but you can never truly empathise with something you have not personally experienced in the exact same manner" then, well, you may be right but it's a separate issue. I know how it is received and I don't need any sort of splaining for it. I have no idea what I've said in this discussion to make you think otherwise. Anyway, plenty of people of all ages are full of s***.
As it happens, a young person in a time of economic growth would actually have a very different experience to a young person in a time of war, recession or pandemic. Doesn't give any of them the right to be rude or patronising, but don't pretend they're all the same.
As it happens, the only time I've ever used the term "ok boomer" was in response to you telling me that being a millennial makes me incapable of sustaining long-term relationships. You called me Junior as well.
Ah here we go with people misrepresenting what I said, whether intentionally or not. The instance you are referring to I specifically said that since you are young you MAY not have experience with long-term committed relationships, which is not at all the same as "incapable of sustaining them." If you're going to get upset at something I say, you may as well read it accurately, then I will not need to repeatedly splain it to you.
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2 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:
Says the man who has been known to pepper his posts with really generous and expansive terms like "SJW" . . .
Actually, that is not at all a redefinition. SJWs loudly proclaim they are fighting (which is what warriors do) for "social justice", so it's an apt term which, I suspect, they originally applied to themselves, as conservatives tend to be dullards when it comes to making up terms (although they really do meme far better than liberals). I'm not sure why you would be insulted at the term. It's sort of like being insulted by being called a card-carrying member of the ACLU - who isn't for civil liberties? You really should own it. Some actual redefinitions:
"Pro choice" - because nobody wants to say they are "pro prematurely and intentionally terminating pregnancies", and who wouldn't agree with being for choice (even when many of these folks aren't all that in favor of plenty of other rights to choose).
"Pro life" - because "anti-abortion" sounds so negative, and who would not agree with being "for life" (even when many of these folks aren't in favor of life when it comes to, say, capital punishment, or war).
"Gender" being used to replace "sexual orientation" when the word gender has, for centuries, specifically referred to either of the two biological sexes.
"Fiscal responsibility" - which apparently no longer has anything to do with responsible budget management. Not really sure what it means nowadays, other than "I don't want to spend money on that", but it sure gets used a lot.
"Xenophobic" which no longer means "fear or dislike of people from other countries", but now means anything that puts the interest of your own country first, or could have a negative impact on people from another country, regardless of actual justification.
"Mainstream media" - which oddly is used by people who mean "anything but Fox", the most popular (hence mainstream) cable news network by a fair margin.
"Socialist" - when they really mean "capitalist economy with strong social programs like Denmark".
I could go on, but every time I put up another example (specifically like the first, third, fifth, and seventh) I can already hear the outraged typing of myopic people who are offended, and it's far too nice a day.
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1 hour ago, Amina Sopwith said:
I'm sorry, LittleMe, but I honestly don't see how that post of mine was offensive. Tolya was.... explaining to me that the term was meant to be dismissive towards something said by a boomer and implying that they're out of touch. I already understood this concept and didn't need it to be...explained to me. I don't actually know what I've said on this thread or anywhere else that might give that impression. I've been concerned with the Bye Felipe meme.
As it happens, I do know what it's like to be insulted for your generation. Millennial, after all.
Actually, the only way you could truly understand it, Amina, is to have someone with half your life experience say it to you. It's sort of like how a white person can claim they understand how the "n word" (far more offensive, obviously) makes a black person feel, when they really cannot. On the flip side, Gen X-ers (or whatever), boomers, etc. CAN in fact understand how millennials feel being dismissed as "millennials", because the same thing happened to them 20 years ago, 40 years ago, etc.
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7 minutes ago, Amina Sopwith said:
About two thirds of us were born in the 80s, so yes, for quite a while now. Do you see now why we're starting to get a bit tired of it all?
Yep, I've been there, but it should also demonstrate to you how "ok boomer" is received by older folks. Imagine, for instance, how you would perceive a teenager today using such a term for people in their 30's?
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1 minute ago, Bitsy Buccaneer said:
Maybe you can help me on this question I'm struggling to understand: What's the point of the interaction supposed to be?
If it's to change attitudes, why use language which requires the recipient to understand this non-obvious redefinition of a word that already has a meaning? Do those who use this honestly think they're changing minds with it?
If it's to change behaviour without changing attitude, that's just a form of intimidation, or shouting over someone, bullying even. Which is one way of ending an argument and feeling like you've won. Is that the goal? Unfortunately bullying and intimidation become self-perpetuating cycles because they often do succeed in silencing the target.
Is it to nuture the sense of being in the know, an insider taking a chunk out of a foolish, unknowledgeable outsider?
It certainly works for putting someone down. The dismissive, "you're not even worth talking to" tone shines through loud and clear, whether it's intended or not. And what of passersby who were born in that generation but haven't followed the whole exchange and just see the put down? That kind of thing can wear on a person, even if they're in the know enough to go through the mental process of seeing it as referring to someone else. We understand this with every day sexism and how word choice can demean and dismiss women. Why is it excused here?
I fail to see how redefining a word connected with an intrinsic identity (you can't change when you were born) to an insider meaning isn't problematic.
As for your advice, it doesn't work. Disagreeing, having a different point of view is enough to be dismissed with whatever terse put down someone's inclined to throw. In the end, it doesn't matter whether it's "deserved" or not, it will be used by those who'd rather assume you're wrong than consider a different point of view.
So as tidy as the redefinition sounds, I think it's quite a damaging mode of discourse.
'
Bitsy, haven't you been paying attention? Redefinition is all the rage, because so many people would rather muddle debates or stifle dissent by turning the language on its head and resort to emotionalism, rather than debate honestly. This is merely a use of it to end any discussion at all.
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1 minute ago, Amina Sopwith said:
I'm a very typical millennial. I'm in my 30s with a mortgage, child, partner, occasional lumbago and a shaky knowledge of the origins of a crap meme from a couple of years ago.
Confession time: in discussions, I have sometimes let it be known that I'm a millennial just to see if someone will take the bait. They always have.
Good Lord, millennials are in their 30's now? I'm feeling old. Pretty soon you'll be joining forces against the new wave of young punks.
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Not that I generally credit Vox with much usefulness, but they were the first result when I googled "Karen". Kinda funny, and those sorts of people certainly deserve mockery.
Maybe "You're such a Tolya" will become a thing some day...
https://www.vox.com/2020/2/5/21079162/karen-name-insult-meme-manager
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13 minutes ago, Theresa Tennyson said:
Considering that you used the term "Junior" and said that I was speaking like a member of group of people defined by their chronological age...
Not an unreasonable inference...
and besides, you were right
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7 minutes ago, Amina Sopwith said:
No, it came from Bye Felipe, which itself came from online messages in which men become abusive after women turn them down. There was a particularly famous one from some plank called Felipe, if memory serves.
And they say millennials don't know anything useful.
Lol except in this case, as so often with millennials when they think they're being smart, you appear to be incorrect 😛
To paraphrase a great American philosopher, it's not that millennials don't know anything, it's that so much of what they know just isn't so.
You may be an exception to the typical millennial
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2 minutes ago, LittleMe Jewell said:
Everything I can find about the phrase, says that it did indeed come from the movie Friday. I can't find any other origin.
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Just now, Dano Seale said:
Same place as "bye Felicia" I think!
I'm not all that hip, but didn't that come from some movie like Boyz in the Hood?
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1 minute ago, Theresa Tennyson said:
I should hope so - I've been heading there for over fifty years now.
Oops, did you make an assumption about my age?
Nope, I just know that you sound like someone who hasn't reached the point where they start sounding like their parent.
Oops, did you make an assumption that I was talking solely about chronological age?
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Just now, LittleMe Jewell said:
The young versus old has always been a thing. The older generation likes to pass on what they consider to be wisdom and advice, things learned over many years. The young, typically think that their viewpoint is correct, that their way of new evolved thinking is superior. This has been going on for generations. It was the same when I was in my teens, and again when I was in my 20s, 30s, etc.... Sometimes the older ones really are correct and sometimes the younger ones are. (yes, lots of generalizations there)
I typically saw my mother in a negative light anytime she offered any advice on a situation when the advice differed from whatever I was doing. Looking back, as older ones tend to do, sometimes she was right and sometimes not. Yet we were both sure of our own viewpoints at the time. That didn't make either of us genplaining to the other or being condescending just because we refused to agree -- or because we just flat out couldn't understand/see the other point of view. Disagreeing with the point of view of someone younger/older than us or expressing our point of view is not necessarily 'gensplaining'.
Regardless of how 'OK, Boomer' started out, it has become a total put-down, a complete dismissal of the other person and their viewpoint. Anyone using the phrase, at least in forum arguments, loses respect points in my eyes -- and yes, I know that many don't care about that either. (side note - ditto for anyone referring to another person as 'Karen' if that is not truly their name).
Where the heck did this "Karen" thing come from, anyway? I don't actually know a single person named Karen.
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39 minutes ago, Theresa Tennyson said:
FIFY
Spoken like a true millennial.
I've been in the workplace long enough to see my own and 2 succeeding "generations" enter it. Each time, the older generations call the new generation lazy, full of unrealistic expectations, foolish, they don't listen, yadda yadda yadda. And each time the new generation claims the older ones just don't understand being young, they ruined the world for them, they're going to do it better, it's so much harder now, their world no longer exists, blah blah blah.
The only real difference is, the older generations have actually gone through what the younger generation thinks they know so much about, but really don't, and the younger generations don't realize this until they catch themselves sounding just like their parents.
Don't worry, you'll get there, Junior.
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8 hours ago, Mollymews said:
OK Boomer is not so much a slur as a response to a behaviour
like a younger person explains a situation from their pov. An older person then gensplains. Younger person: OK Boomer
gensplaining, like other forms of splaining, is where the older person doesn't actually listen. OK Boomer is a response to the gensplaining
Gensplaining is generally a response to young people with an inflated sense of wisdom and experience who don't listen and look like idiots when they roll their eyes at advice 😛
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It's the same with any stereotype, so why would one about age be any different. It's just the latest version of young people saying, "but ma, you don't understand!" as if mom was never young herself.
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51 minutes ago, Amina Sopwith said:
We get Netflix and McDonalds too.
Surely you're smart enough to not eat at McDonald's. I mean, I eat there all the time, but, let's face it, I don't make good decisions.
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2 minutes ago, Amina Sopwith said:
Do you feel lucky, punk?
(Although I was referring to my ability to rise from the grave, as demonstrated a little while back. Think I gave you a beer.)
lol A Brit (I think) quoting Dirty Harry? My my globalization has come far!
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3 minutes ago, Amina Sopwith said:
You must admit I managed it quite well.
You shot someone? You don't strike me as the shooting type.
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