Everything posted by Adrielle4
I. SL emanation experience: Your avi along with your verbal and your non verbal communication and its appearance emanates from you. In part anyway it is representative of yourself, an aspect of your mental self freed from your body a graphic-kinetic expression of yourself. Its likely not a perfect representation or expression but you may find it acceptable or even beyond what you could convey without the artists assistance. This visual is a strong aide carries or is canister for an aspect of yourself that often is not able to be expressed or appreciated by others. So when your avi along with your words probably far more expressively, your voice interacts with another great emotional connection is possible. But what is most unique here on SL unlike that of the phone with the added help of this visual, erotic or even romantic feelings are more enabled. As with the kinetic graphic that is well enable with romantic and erotic expression there is this tangible assistance. This adds to the focus and confirms any fantasy. This is a unique experience and can be discriminated from comments such as 'you are your avi' as its not a body for your full mind. It can not hold your mind. If it could it would be like you were in the 'Matrix' with full feelings and perhaps also die with death of the body. However it is this fun graphic expression and representation and with the control you do have and the combination of that and your voice carries an aspect of yourself. How much of an aspect or how accurate a representation will vary. One must choose and accept the visual and for that time and some effort and your personal tweaking of the image maybe needed for you to related and feel that what emanates from it is what is inside yourself. As an aside, an artist's drawing of you on a canvas is also maybe depiction and thus represents a small aspects. It may evoke feelings of you in another person. But there is no interplay no voice, no animation with another persons similar expression/representation of part of themselves. What does Fantasy have to do with it? Here your normal level of imagination and fantasy is already here. It need not be an more or less emanation of a part of yourself or what you wish to feel or how to connect. Fantasy can muddle that precious bit or self or can perhaps help to maximize the feelings you wish to elicit or both. II. Let's just talk already or where the hell is a real (voice) good conversation? So the above experience takes time and effort. This can be true even for half decent emotional friendship level connection. And for one to feel certain excitements such as romance or passion, one must be able to well actually have that ability or maybe have it in a way that its ripe or ready to be felt. For many its a lot more feasible to enjoy a basic connection or just socialize. At is base it is chat social platform and one should be able to come on SL and get into it with good voice chat or at least a pokey text conversation. But that often is not the experience. At least not a satisfying exchange that may be nice and direct or deep or interesting ect... Sometimes the experience is that too many are off in la la land or coupled up, not available for a good talk or just the dummies seem to be online at the moment. There is no interaction really, just blah and gibberish. This is frustrating. Some in perhaps wish for some emotional contact or something that feels remotely meaningful may attempt drama. I understand that from this frustration. Because the experience on SL can be confusing and this makes for uncertainty and anxiety in some even more fear having a real (voice especially chat) which is why i'm writing this and the other posts. So though seemingly bizarre, having a good voice chat sometimes takes some time and effort too even though on paper there are 3 thousand people on SL when you are on here and its basically a social platform. See also my post on friendship and connection and with more people seeing and clarifying how fun and social SL can be I think more will come out and get into some great voice group and individual conversations.. Please do:)
What makes for the best or that is the most intensive feelings of arousal are often for both genders the feelings of at least some passion being present before the more intimate physical visuals even begin. What is passion? It is when there is some emotional connection that often may have been initially ignited by a more simple intellectual chat or understanding. From more chat and flirting the emotional connection can deepen and some romantic or erotic feeling may already be in the works. Passion comes when this build up is then paired with the physical. It is the frosting on the cake and so very sweet. It is the celebration of what is already present. The physical pleasure is greatly magnified (by some only enabled) by this connection that is typically filled with attraction and some caring via the understanding or emotional connection. So a guy may not value the deeper connection as much, just want something quick but even for many of these men, such doesn't compete with what is felt when there is passion. Before however we get to the best or 'the hottest', gender differences to seem larger and well sometimes there seems to be a gulf. A man may experience plenty of basic arousal ( though void of passion) from his visual experience far greater than the typical woman. This distraction or low level enjoyment he may run with and not make the efforts for more connection. He may simply not see the reason for it or he may not be emotionally available-often already having a very close relationship. A woman wants to feel arousal and greatly enjoys it but to get there, the visual does not quite serve her enough and she thus seeks more knowing or connection or simply something more. She may also have discovered that should there be a great intellectual and emotional connection that the passion is so intense the physical erotic acts are robust. That is she is aroused even with the guy fumbling about or well less than optimally sexually compatible. The connection motivates both to make more effort in the bedroom as well there is desire to do so via the caring/concern present. She doesn't want to settle for playing around with animations which would be empty, and often maybe even only 1% of what she can experience should there be even a bit of passion. In their voice exchange or video chat they pick up quickly on the others complimentary traits, the ying to the yang, the strengths, the vulnerabilities, values, interests quickly related to, validation and compliments given and already some romantic flirtation. The fun is already begun. How is this connection, important for both genders attained? Well communication of course. What is the most efficient communication? Well that would be in-person chat where the help of non verbal communication is present. What is second best? That would be video chat. What is next best? That would be a voice chat where at least intonation, emphasis, cadence and other qualities of the voice greatly aide. And lastly email, instant message and other text chat -this is composed only of 7% of communication in a person to person and takes far longer and may never reach the quality attained by the other means. Interestingly in real life there is possible communication with only the visual and/or tactile without any words which could give connection equal to text. What are the pitfalls ? One person maybe avoiding or not open to a component necessary for this passionate romance and/or erotic experience. For example, he sees this beautiful vision of a woman and imagines her in his bed. While there is not much deep feeling (how could there be there's been little communication) the feelings of arousal are pleasant and he wants more. He approaches her and before there is much connection via voice and perhaps only nominal text they attempt sex. She doesn't feel much connection, he cares only for the sex and doesn't bother asking about her preferences. She is only responsive to the singular animation or maybe none and does not put out much emote or anything as well she doesn't feel much. She does not wish to be his passing entertainment. Its just a visual play as well there's nothing else that is built up. He may or may not be disappointed with the pixel sex he just got, but oh my, it could have been much greater. She could feel used or bored and he has a 'meh' experience. The potential may have been ruined or these two could use the experience as fun lighthearted way of getting to know each other using visual play. They may then continue likely including a good voice chat to actually get feel and understanding. Should positive feeling emerge and optimism with compatibility exist, next time they come to the bed with bit of passion, they far more likely some erotic feelings and arousal and maybe even that all elusive precious romance. How exciting!
Recently I read an in depth article on second life and while it offered details which were correct presented it more as virtual world falling short than what is great about it for majority of people and its other various offerings. So sure we can see it as interactive conversational venue and one that can easily compete with in-person gatherings but this is so broad and yet still not comprehensive so let's look at from what it does for people and just how that happens. I estimate that most users when asked what is the bread 'n butter for them are usually quick to mention "meeting people, meeting people from all over the world and connecting. Plenty expand a bit with "making friends", or "making real friends". Let's look at the most complex one here for if this is understood the others will fall into place. So I make 'real friends' here yes. Define 'real' you say. Ok, a real friend is someone you can talk with at length where there is mutual interest in spending time together. It is time that is both give and take, listening and talking typically where there is emotional connection, some level of intellectual compatibility a feeling of having someone there for you-could be for advice, a confidant, some level of emotional support or encouragement, and sharing of ideas or perspective. It would not be contingent on any sexual stimulation or service being provided. For many text chat, often fairly extensive is enough for this. For me texting while can be part of it is not enough as I don't feel enough connection or knowing or feel for the other person without voice. The option or openness for a video chat on skype maybe a plus but is not needed. Built in to second life are a few ways to voice and extend to private individual and group calls where each person/avi can be anywhere and in such conference (including areas where nearby chat is not supported). Once there is voice chat often the likes of which I engage far more than with my local friends, i certainly consider this a friendship. I think its more obviously one to the outsider when one can boast 'should each be local enough, we'd get together over coffee' and many SL friendships are like that. For this friendship to happen, much of the virtual world experience is not needed but may have had a role in each finding this friend or not: Each person may have for example met visually over a dance in specifically themed sim, perhaps drawn to it given some personal identification such as 'artsy, or hippy, or beach, association. They could have met when perusing profile of those in groups with whom they also already have something in common to have found the avi particularly appealing or interesting. So for someone purely looking for potential new friends, is second life feasible? Best one word answer would have to be 'depends'. If one is not able to negotiate the complexities of the platform and/or dislikes the the environment, is turned off by the interactions or the time that is typically needed for this, then probably not. Adult level conversational skills would also make connecting in such verbal way at least helpful. It would also greatly depend on what other resources or venues one has in comparison and perhaps also particulars in ones socialization or even physical presentation (advantageous or disadvantage). For myself, I work at home and while liking close friends and in depth conversation just have a few friends of which to engage me (usually on the phone). To meet knew people is far from making a new friend. Meeting someone is not difficult for me but meeting someone interesting is far more of a challenge. But even this is often driving to a social event which is a hit or miss and may involve additional expense. Most of the time , even after many such trips, an interesting friendship is not begun. In second life, its not magic either. One has to encounter someone of interest and for this initiative may be needed. However there are many people online, one can leave a message with for example "I liked you profile and am also interested in aging research or your music tastes'. Instead of being limited to a small group, you may very quickly be able to potentially engage a dozen people and the next hour rinse and repeat as needed. This is a far cry from a typical driving across town, from finally the best event of the week, being seated in chatting distance from 4-5 then driving home without so much as an email address. Ok, now what about dating and romance? For dating I think match.com and similar are the best bet. Its possible of course and sure people do meet future spouses on SL, but it relatively rare and not so feasible (distance, poor profile search protocol, sparse profiles). Now romance and or erotic experience many do experience on SL. Romantic feelings are a rare precious thing but my second month on SL to my astonishment I felt energized by such. So not uncommonly this came about as I connected and friended someone who worked for me in that way. Though fooling with the animations along with our talks we playfully discovered a highly erotic compatibility. So I did get to experience a bit of passion! So what are some of the pitfalls? Well depends on what you are seeking or how you use SL but from perspective of someone who is primarily seeking real friendship with perhaps any romance as a bonus, its encountering people who pretend to seek the same/value it but who do not value it much. Typically this would be the 'wanker', often a guy online for the singular purpose of added stimulus for his masturbation. Also encumbering are people who recognize you as a stimulating friend, and want at least lots of conversation with you, but realize such interest would unlikely be returned so are dishonest about themselves. For me little time is usually lost as where I require voice chat anyway, if it is not quickly available I do not spend time engaged and when it is, well I could understand quickly what I have or don't in this connection. Interestingly though some of the men with whom were quite focused on the erotic were so well engaged via a voice chat and the connection to a human that it provided, that they were subsequently engageable or more interested in a 'real friendship'. I think the key here is generally if you having a good time and especially if you are building a friendship, getting emotional stimulation, nurturing or fortification, intellectual stimulation or plain old having fun you are not wasting time.