TarinaKhumbu

Hello Talligurl, And everyone else. I'm Ada, the OP of the Pro-Ana post..yes the anorexic monster herself speaking. The reason why I didn't want to return to my own thread is simple: I know how the common opinion is puked out. I know, if I returned there, I'd find something that upsets me personally. I'd feel as not accepted person. I'd be out of balance for days. And yet I needed to write that post. Because I am lonely, I'm very very alone with my thoughts. I want to thank you, LittleMe Jewell for contacting me. We had a very nice moment of chatting together. Thank you for not judging me. It was more than I ever expected. Talligurl makes a very good opening for this topic here. What do we accept in SL and why? I don't know much about the kinky side of SL, so I wont comment that. What I do know about, is obsession. I have an obsession in RL that fills my mind so much, I can't shut it down when I log into SL. I'm anorexic in RL and in SL, and my obsession is about feelings. We all know, feelings are the only thing that are transferred back and forth the two worlds. I found SL in 2009. I dreamed of a place where I can be myself, do what I want and look how I want. It didn't happen. I saw female avatars around me, so pretty, skinny and small-waisted, I felt I need to loose my pixel-weight to be the thinnest. The original idea of helping my RL mind was forgotten quickly. My obsession was stronger than the gap between the two worlds. I don't know if you can see it, but when you judge a person with eating disorders, you judge her feelings mostly. It's hard to find a comparison for this illness, but I think bi-polaric and depressed people are pretty close. They are very much steered by their feelings, and I think they are judged equally much as "bad role models for teenagers". I never wanted to be anorexic. I never wanted my lifestyle. More than anything else I'd want to be normal and healthy. I'm tired of not eating, tired of my disgusting body and mind, but even more tired of fighting back with my illness. That's why I call it as my lifestyle. I had to accept it to be my companion forever. Otherwise I'd have ended up with a suicide a long time ago. I do not encourage teens into this. That would be totally unacceptable in my opinion. I know teens have their "thinspirational" forums where they learn the tricks. But nobody becomes anorexic by learning. Nobody becomes bi-polaric or depressed by learning. There are traumas, genetic factors and god knows what beneath. So what do we accept in SL and why? I witnessed lately a sacrificial victim ceremony of virgins for Satan in SL. I have to say, I didn't feel well at all watching that roleplay. Yet..it's totally gross if I show my anorexic pixel-body naked on nudistic beaches. Life is strange. Take care! -Ada