I think, though don't quote me on this, that sexual harrassment in a setting like SL is different than it would be in RL...like most other things. I could understand her being upset if you had approached her that way in RL, say, at work...because that would be considered sexual harrassment in most companies.
Here though, especially on a roleplaying sim that is specifically about sex, I would not say you harrassed her in any way. You initiated conversation because you assumed she was there to roleplay, and that's why the subject came up at all. When she told you she wasn't interested, you left her alone.
As for your second question, there are a couple of blog posts addressing just that, and from what I understand any chat logs taken and posted outside of SL or secondlife.com is not a TOS violation.