[Bringing Teens to Second Life’s Main Grid]

Hi everyone, I have been following this thread and sometimes contributing to it, for a few days now. Ironically, I was just wandering through Sistiana and then on to Miramare (G rated, mind you) when I came up close to what I thought at first must be some really poor attempt at a statue. It was a male avi, completely naked, on a pose stand in a public area with an enormous pixalated appendage which he appeared to be stroking (is that possible? Is there an animation for that?)

Anyway, yes, I did file an abuse report, after giving him the benefit of the doubt (initially, I thought maybe he didn't realise his clothes were missing - i.e. that they didn't rez fully - but that was not the case at all). This incident just brought up what so many of us are saying here about the problems with kids on the grid.  This will be one of the "appropriate" areas in which they are allowed to roam freely. And although this is a virtual world, your brain experiences as real what it is taking in through its senses. I am a full grown, married woman who has seen plenty of naked men and boys in my time, but I find this offensive and it feels not much different from when someone flashes you in public ... like you've been taken advantage of in some creepy horrible way without your consent.  I don't want to over-state the case, b/c I am not of course traumatised by seeing some naked creep who's overestimating his attractiveness.  But, just as in RL, this is an act of sexual aggression on his part, exposing himself to others without their consent and in a public place.  I am aware that this could feel really terrible to a vulnerable kid coming across it (esp if they already have an abuse history, which I can tell you, plenty do).

Colette

[Bringing Teens to Second Life’s Main Grid]

Sorry, I also meant to say that, I agree with so many of you who challenge the ethics and legality of this, regarding the safety of minors.  It is ironic that LL understands that they must make an effort to keep kids off of the moderate and adult sims, but how are they going to keep the predators off of the general sims? They can't do that now, and I can bet there will be a lot more of them there once the grid opens to teens.  How many abuse reports can LL manage in one day or week? And will the kids feel confident in filing an abuse report, or will many just feel too intimidated to do so? I work with sexually abused kids in RL. I can tell you that most never report incidents of abuse even when it is graphically real, physically destructive and devastating to their minds, bodies and souls.  So why would they feel confident enough to report *virtual* solicitation and violation of themselves?  Many will think they have no right to complain, no sense of entitlement to a safe and appropriate place to relax and enjoy themselves with friends.

[Bringing Teens to Second Life’s Main Grid]

I agree with what everyone is saying regarding SL having been established as an adult domain and wanting to keep it that way. If you want a good example of what teens can do to an internet forum, look at FB or My Space.  All the adults left My Space b/c the kids made a mess of it as far as adult standards go.    I think adults and teens need their own places and FB is a good example. I do not ask teens that I know and love in RL to 'friend' me on FB, because that is their private domain with their friends and I don't want to interrupt that.  However, I have accepted a few friend requests from teens in my life, because I don't want them to have an experience of being rejected by me, but it absolutely does affect what I choose to say and how I choose to say it.

As for protecting them from sexual content? Well, I know many teenagers. It is teenagers who taught me about a lot of explicit group and couples sexual game playing that I didn't even know about before they told me, which has been in the course of my working with them therapeutically, or when they were otherwise confiding something in me for help with personal life.  I think they are pretty up to date on that stuff.  Nevertheless, the difference is that they were having these experiences with other teens, not 45 year old men pretending to be kids.  That will always be a risk with internet use, in or out of SL.  I have worked with quite a few kids who have been impacted by malicious and predatory behaviour from other kids and adults via MSN and FB.

The young people that have posted here seem to be intelligent, thoughtful and considerate teens and I can't blame them for feeling defensive when people are saying outright 'Go away. No one wants you.'  I think it's a shame that people are being so hostile to them, because they cannot help that LL is closing down the teen grid.  It is LL we should take issue with, not these kids.

 

Having said that, I wish we could keep the worlds separate too.  Case in point: For the first time a few weeks ago, I rented a place on a sim rated General.  I have other houses and own other land, but this sim appealled to me for a variety of reasons, and I wanted to support it.  I have been there only a few weeks. On four occasions now, while in my own house (not on the common ground of the street) young male avis with guns have tp'd past locked doors, forcing an encounter with me, and refusing to leave when asked.  Judging by their behaviour and the way they spoke, I would place them at about 14-16 years old.  I have spent a lot of my life immersed in the lives of adolescents, so I am a pretty good judge of this.  They each claimed to be 18-20 years old.   Why me and my house? Well, I have since realised that they probably just select the sim because they can access it without verifying age and without having payment info on file and b/c it is named after a world-renowned city that a lot of people might look up.  One of them had an RL pic (or, he claimed it was) that I think he thought made him look quite mature.  He looked and acted 15.

When I questionned him about his age, he sulkily replied, "I am 20 years old!"  Right, sure; me too (well, I was once). Anyway, these kids were involved in the kind of things young boys like to do, which is running around the grid shooting at each other and trying to get attention any way they can.  I did not immediately mute them b/c I have only ever muted one person in SL my entire time here and that is someone I found to be rude and inappropriate, who kept IMing me long after our conversation had ended.  As i said, I like kids and I don't want to reject them outright.    I have since had a very robust security system put in.  However, I don't really want to live on a sim where the idea of a good time is going around hunting each other with guns and badgering people.  And of course I think with the grid opening up to teens, this is likely to increase rather than decrease.  It would be nice if something were left for the adults in virtual life, as many of us are not going to use Sony games, PS2s or X-Boxes.  Let's face it, most of us adults give much of our time, money and attention to young people, who are first and foremost in our lives in the real world.  We use SL for some time for ourselves, we have invested our real and hard-earned money in it, and now it feels as if that is being compromised in a big way

[Bringing Teens to Second Life’s Main Grid]

@ Kirk Sweetwater ...  re: “Get involved!” Who are you talking to, Kirk? Do you even know? Many of us in SL, including many who have commented here) are heavily involved with kids in RL on a daily basis, through our families, friends, communities and professional lives. You really need to check out who your audience is before you dust off your soapbox and step up onto it. There are a lot of educators, helping professionals and parents on SL.  Personally, I have been a specialist working with children, adolescents and young adults for well over a decade now.  What makes you think people are not INVOLVED? Many of us are involved up to our ears, in real life.  We come to SL as a place of respite and to be with other grown-ups and we don’t owe you or anyone else an apology for that.  When we signed up for SL and paid our (sometimes significant amounts) money, we were told it was a virtual world that required participants to be 18+ and for those of us who wanted it to stay that way, this is a loss, not an enhancement.