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  1. Hello, the "ruth" glitch hit me on Monday too. First of all, try Character Test. To do this, enable the Advanced Menu option, then in that menu go to Character Test > Female (or Male) Character Test > and enter... you will be retored as a day one noob avi, which for female is the polka dot dress look. From there, restore yourself by dragging a ready-made folder of your look from Inventory. If you don't have a look saved as a folder, be sure to do that for quick restorations in the future. However, it won't drag onto you if you are still in the "ruthed" mode because you will get the error that says your clothes are still loading. OK, once or twice the Character Test routine didn't work for me, but i did find a workaround--you will need to download the official SL viewer if you don't already use it. Log in with the SL Viewer, and then select a ready-made avatar. They are available at first login on a panel at the upper left. Just click on any one of them--the vampires are human forms. Voila! It's such a great feeling to finally pop back out of that cloud!
  2. Thank you for the Words of Torley, and to Czuri and everyone that keeps them alive. It helps me to see i'm not the only one who thinks everything is as real as it seems. [CORRECTION--meant to say ty Perrie and also Dillon for Words of Torley] This reminds me of this bit of internet wisdom-- "Sometimes people put up walls, not to keep others out....but to see who cares enough to tear them down" No idea who said that first, but our avatars are all that, mirrors, walls, windows into our souls. As the OP, just wanted to pop in and show appreciation, continuing to follow. When i originally posted, i did so because i do take it that seriously, and the feelings of others. Frankly, some people need to stay at the shallow end as far as feelings go. That's how they protect themselves, and they put their own feelings and ego before the other person.. People have all kinds of language and reasons about how it hurts or why it shouldn't, and it's absolutely no different from "real life" so if you are married in real life, and you think this is a role play that you can just turn off and ignore, good luck. There are all kinds of accomodation people make in real life marriages, all kinds of trade-offs. Generally, we stand in respect of whatever it is to the couple, and it's nosey to speculate. Here you can be shaken to your core by something as innocent as talking cartoons. I don't think it's the unreality of it that is so confusing. I think it's the voluntary suspension of disbelief and the fantasy motif that allows us to craft an "extra" reality and experience the Garden all over again. My problem is taking a bite of the proverbial fruit and snap, i wake up, feeling naked, just feeling mind you. "The psychology of it intrigues me deeply." indeed.
  3. great idea, Perrie, and i'd like to add: Build Buddy or Business Partner
  4. That is a powerful message, Dillon. Yes, I would like to have a copy and will IM you inworld. Thanks so much.
  5. well it's not in the Knowledge Base. i didn't see any mention of cost in the faq on partnering but it does state 25L to unpartner. however, i found this on New World Notes Blog "" The "Partner" option in Second Life enables you to list another Resident as such in your avatar profile (if that person accepts your proposal, that is), and doing so is a bargain deal, literally costing pennies: listing cost is $L10 (around 3.7 37 US cents), and L$25, if the couple decides to get divorced. "": That quote is from 2008, so not sure how many pennies that is now. So, yes. 10L to partner and 25L to unpartner
  6. hmm, where did i get that? i've never sent one myself. maybe it's 10L to accept? i'll check the knowledge base?? ;p
  7. Feelings are probably the most real thing that can be experienced, whatever we call them. emotions. heartbreak. disappointment. it's all absolutely personal. fiction is our tool here, and some of us jump right in, others sooner or later. actually, from what i've heard, it seems it's not at all unusual for the role play head to real life. So there is no place to check your heart at the door, and no sameness of everyday reality to keep you grounded. Very much like a drug. It only takes 10L to partner, and 25L to unpartner. Now that's a funny way to show a sliding scale. Maybe it should cost prohibitively more each time a person does it.
  8. Czari, one more time, i absolutely agree. Faking death to escape an internet relationship is probably as morally bad as hacking their account, even their bank account. Your details about the history of it from your perspective were fascinating. Now i'm afraid i'll not believe it's real when anyone here supposedly dies, and that is the real shame.
  9. Jeanne, i do appreciate the humor about the mountain lion. And i somewhat agree that in these kind of sl romances, where there is no intent to take it to real life, no matter how real it feels, and no matter what the other person says, it really is a sort of role play. You guys have done a great service grounding me, personally. I appreciate your spirit of sharing and not being afraid to dust off the personal anecdotes to shed some light. Jeanne, i read your last couple of posts more carefully to get the spirit of what you are saying. I think i would add that while it may sound cruel to say that anyone silly enough to believe in the reality of the second life romance deserves to be jarred awake, it is also true that we can get hooked on even the drama we pretend to hate. Finally, when we just want to take our blanket and go home, we are tired and hardly able to separate fantasy from reality, because no matter what any of you say, it is TOTALLY BLENDED in Second Life. The partner and i have had this conversation quite a few times, and even though he has agreed that what we do is "officially" role play, there is no doubt that he treats it like a real "relationship" and i have been flattered by that. So, yes i've been swept up in it but then i snap out of it when he gets caught up in his real life for awhile and I feel left alone.
  10. Pfft, i hear you and i feel your pain. Woke up middle of the night and found myself searching for information about the event he's attending which prevents him from being on this week. Trying to tell myself it's a veracity check. I'm moving on no matter if it kills me, because this is somewhat unhealthy for me. At the moment, Perrie's humorous suggestion about making an alt to be the partner is lighting up the problem solving side of my brain. What if my real life husband decides to join me in sl??? Hmmm, not such a bad idea now, is it?
  11. ouch, Perrie. "You made a mistake here entering into this relationship when you were either not ready to or didn't think through the long term ramifications. I'm not going to let you off the hook on this." Whew, that knocked the wind out of me. Thanks for being direct this time. Do you know, this has all been very cathartic. He'll be back soon and i'm realizing that i'm missing him. Perhaps i'll find some uforgiveable fault someday but for now, after weighing the options here, I think the only problem is my own discomfort with feeling fettered by it. Not because i want someone else, but because i feel there is almost a stigma from some quarters, and a couple of friends unfriended me and left my group since i partnered, and i have no idea why after all this time. Someone mentioned earlier the social awkwardness of going to events alone, but oh well i always have. Not sure why wearing an extra name on my profile feels like it weighs me down, but people do treat you differently. But no, no, no, i don't ignore him and he has full access to me. Meanwhile, yes i am regaining a sense of personhood in my alt. Don't worry, no relationships. I am keenly aware of the suspiciousness of using alts, and so is he, so he has a full view in my group. However, the alt experience is pretty therapeutic for me so far. Finally, to be fair, he may actually tire of me first. For now, i've tried to blow it up, burn it down, and roll it over. It didn't budge. There is something more to be discovered in it, and new depth by degrees.
  12. Czari, this would be a funny story if it weren't kind of sad. Definitely true that a person who has a tendency to lie will lie even when telling the truth would be easier. Reminds me of that saying about someone, "he/she would lie about what time it is" even if you're both wearing a watch. What the liers don't realize is that even though this is a big playground, lies are not limited to the little box of text where one types them. It's a great place to build, not just objects, but also social skills and maturity. One is never too old to grow young here.
  13. Thanks, Rayse. This one wouldn't stalk, but he might mope. I know this because of prior discussion about it. As to the block aspect of the mute feature, i do know from elsewhere that blocking someone on skype may completely block them here, even if not muted by you in sl. I don't know this for sure, but i believe it may be that skype blocks from your computer to the other person's. If anyone has any experience with that, please comment.
  14. Madelaine, Very good observation. Yes, i'm giving it to the winter solstice, when the Mayan calendar restarts a 26,000 year cycle, and hoping it all falls into place then. Yes, trust the gut and don't expect an easy answer. Also don't complicate the simple truth by sugarcoating a lie. When and if anyone unpartners here, it should be with some thoughtful discussion and a firm resolve, but not cruelty or lies. In the mean time, it has been helpful to hear from all of you here in the forums.
  15. Thanks, Tex. Yes, i agree, it would be horrible to just unpartner and then mute someone simply because you dread the fall-out. I also believe SL teaches karma, or allows our imaginations to experience it. It's a world of imagination, full of fantasy and wonder, but the feelings are as real as anything in our so-called real life. When we partner, unless there is a pre-agreement about the nature of role-play, we are accepting some responsibility for the other person's feelings. I think it's a perfect mirror of real life another way, too. We tend to project alot and fill in the unknowns with our own imaginings. Really i think this has been more about how to disconnect my real life from sl. For me, they remain one in the same. Because i cannot control real life well enough to satisfy myself, i tend to obsess about every small thing here. I appreciate your thoughtful response.
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