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When I think of the term “primal fear” many things run through my mind. The wonderful movie Primal Fear that starred Edward Norton and that awesome ending scene that gives me goosebumps to this day. Admittedly, I looked at mankind a bit more animalistic in nature after watching this movie. This movie comes highly recommend to adults. Another happy thought that comes to mind is the German speed metal band Primal Fear. The music is full of raw emotion and oftentimes makes me feel a bit primal. The vibes that the music gives me is almost animalistic and a kind of no holds bar feeling. Music is a big defining factor for me when creating a experience that is life-like and as real as I can make it. Having a person blindfolded and bound while listening to screams can be a bit terrifying to some. A very memorable primal play scene was in the movie about the band, The Doors but the movies main focus was on Jim Morrison. I remember a scene in which guy playing Jim Morrison acted as if he was a wild beast and pounced upon this vampire-like lady who oozed sexual primal energy. I believe she was some sort of photographer or writer. In one fun scene they chased each other around her house naked and leapt into the air on top of one another while sometimes biting one another or scratching each others bodies in this powerful sexual exchange between two very primal beings. Do we relate any of these types of behaviors has primal or just plain wild? Is the feeling of being primal feel freeing to you? Do you love how frightened you become during this type of play depending upon who you are in the D/s relationship or your place on the food chain of life. The fear that one might feel in primal play is one that is truly scary and heart dropping and sometimes has no boundaries once they have already been set and discussed prior to play. You are free to now be who you have always wanted to be. Free to prey and roam the world mark your property if you so wish. As a Professional Dominatrix I admit that I do enjoy feeling primal truly dependent on whom the sub is. I enjoy the freeness and lack of high protocol at times and want to feel wild. Being a bit out of control at times and everything not so precisely calculated and more spur of the moment while acting upon your natural instincts. I enjoy biting and maybe I like pretending to eat flesh which could scares the hell out of people but makes me feel good. Sometimes, I imagine what it would be like if I could actually draw blood with my teeth and take a bite with a willing participant.. Would you consider this, being primal? Sometimes I view myself as the predator in a game of catch. I may outsmart my prey using my mind and creativity or tackle them down physically with force or using restraints like ropes, chains or cages to confine my victim much like an animal does to its prey with force or agility. It’s a survival of the fittest. Some of the subs that I work with are part of the puppy play community. They enjoy sleeping in a cage, eat what is given to them, and rewarded when demonstrating good behavior during training or play. If they make a mess on the floor then a reward or even a smile is NOT given. The human dogs in this kind of play usually seek their owners/head of the class approval and acceptance. Do we as humans take responsibility for our instincts that we were genetically born with? The answer is yes because we are now educated and able to communicate with words and able to speak to just about anyone online. You can’t go around biting people. Taking people down physically will land you most likely in jail. We as humans have laws and morals. For example we cannot kill our enemies. Morally and financially you cannot mate with all the women in your neighborhood/pride. In BDSM, it is important to know your sub and to both have a clear understanding of what the needs and wants are and defined in your D/s relationship. Soon you’ll really get to know each other in this type of play and know what one wants without words and through gestures. Reading a physical beings facial expressions and gazing into ones eyes for the answer without words is very intimate. When I think primal the term primitive comes to mind and primal tribes. It’s amazing to see their ritualistic practices using dance, herbs, hunting, body scarification and piercing, and sometimes marking their territory as those in the wild and practice a real life survival of the fittest from day to day. In BDSM, we practice many or the ritualistic primal practices that primitive tribes did and some still do to this day. Ask yourself if you can procreate without choosing a life mate rather than moving on to the next one? Even though this is primal instinct we do have ramifications with our actions and responsibilities as a parents as animals do when teaching young about life. Primal Fear the band was playing in the background. I enjoyed listening to Blood, Sweat and Fear. Written By; Mistress Lydia D’Ouleur AKA LydiaDee666
It is important to clearly define your D/s role for a healthy BDSM relationship, you must have a consensual, and trusting relationship that is formed from the beginning and goals defined. As a new submissive explores this type of relationship. The sub will be expected to schedule time with their Mistress and go through appropriate screening measures expected from the Professional Dominatrix. Each Mistress may have a way of screening and taking sessions that is different from one another. Respect their individual ways of doing this. Personally, I do not take clients who do not sound like fun. I want the experience to be entertaining for myself mostly and for the submissive to feel at ease with each new experience with me. Do a little research before scheduling time with a Mistress. If you want to try something specific find out if the Mistress even caters to that request first. Also, keep an open mind as a submissive when trying new play techniques. Discuss limits upfront from the viewpoint of both roles in the relationship. If I accept a newbie into my dark and the sometimes twisted world consider yourself extremely lucky as a submissive. Never take your time with Mistress for granted. The knowledge and training your Mistress has is not even worth one minute in currency terms. Always keep that in mind when serving. If you’re lucky enough to get an exploratory session together and meet together in a safe and sane environment consider this gold. During your first few encounters in your new D/s relationship, you should ultimately feel more at ease and giving up your control to your counterpart. During the initial phase of playing the Mistress is evaluating you on many different levels to include things such as tolerance level to different play types. You will be discussing intimate details of your medical history/medications and honestly giving the feedback your Mistress needs. For example, if you are on blood thinners it's important for your Mistress to know this information up front. Taking into account that a person is on this type of medication would notify the Domme to take special precautions during certain types of play that may involve skin breaks. Discussing your mental health background and medication list with your Mistress is very important to know from the start so that healthy boundaries are set for future progression of the D/s relationship. For example, if you have been through a traumatizing event in your life that caused you to be diagnosed with PTSD this information is very important to disclose upfront to your Mistress so that she is aware of any triggers you may have before playtime begins. Expect as a submissive to possibly go over formalities and safe words in the beginning to define your safety concerns in your submissive role. Let the Mistress define to you what she expects of you. Do not play director to your Mistress or act like a know it all. Your Domme will talk with you more in-depth as to her expectations such as formal ways to greet her and exiting after a session. The Mistress may test your knowledge during the session to see if you were paying attention. A submissive must be a good listener and be able to take in the information given and process it the way the Domme as defined their role. When first playing in your D/s role as a submissive it may take your brain several days to process the information and get absorb the feeling that you had while serving. How were the chemistry and internal discussions you had while serving your Mistress? Did you feel more at ease towards the end of your first session? The chemistry in each D/s relationship is vital to growth in the future. It’s good to know if the match is not successful from the beginning. If the match is not good then consider this when moving forward. Your personal experience will make the process a little bit easier when meeting another Professional Dominatrix in the future. Having different styles and ways of playing is what makes this world of BDSM so great. When trying new play that is not familiar to you in a submissive role the Mistress is most likely keeping tabs in her head. I myself like to say, “ try it you might like it.” It’s important to not judge yourself if you find something that once may have been taboo to you. It’s also good to talk about your feelings after the session with permission of course. During the initial meet and greet phase of the D/s relationship the Mistress is making mental notes of questions she will need to know the answer too. Can this person have marks? If so, what experience does the submissive have and tolerance today to this type of play? Is this play something they may want to continue? As a Domme how could you make your slave progress in the future with this type of play? Mentally, is the submissive taking in the experience well or not? The lines of communication should be respected and open in the first two sessions but may be different from each Mistress. No question is a dumb question unless you like humiliation but always listen when your Mistress gives you the answer. Repeating the answer is okay if you did not comprehend it but if you just were not listening then more discipline and training may be needed from the slave in the future? As a Domme, discussing a slave’s bad behavior before it starts and correcting the issue immediately gives both parties a better understanding of the expectations set. As for punishment, I do not believe in giving the submissive a punishment they like. Why would it be a form of punishment then? During the initial evaluation of the slave, the Mistress will take mental notes during play of likes and dislikes of the slave. The slave’s punishment at the beginning of a new D/s relationship may be as simple as ignoring the slave or having them tied down while tickling them. As the relationship progresses the punishments may be more intense because you already know what is expected of you in the submissive role and you just did not follow through with the Mistress’s commands. Overall, the initial meet and greet is exciting to me and challenging at times. Personally, getting to know each person individually and explore the fetish world together is something that your submissive will never forget. It’s important to have a connection to your Dominant partner so that trust is gained when playing more intensely in the future. The song that was playing in the background when writing this article was Korn, Freak on a Leash which is appropriate I believe but who defines a freak? Written By: Mistress Lydia D’Ouleur AKA LydiaDee666