Nico Vasiliov Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Hello I would like to touch on a taboo subject in SL residents don' t really seem to like touching on. As the world is supposed to be a fairytale for many.I would like to hear your experiences on those so called friends in SL.People who spend time with you, act and pretend that they like you. It can be a few days in a row or weeks.But than within a few days they suddenly have no longer time etc. (when they before said they want to do rping etc the next day they act as if they never said so, you get the idea)Would you consider such people as friends? Keep them on your flist? delete? etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syo Emerald Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Just because someone is on your friendlist doesn't mean they are a friend and just because you have been chatting with someone for a couple of hours doesn't make them your friends either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helllor Highwater Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 I wouldnt really consider them friends.. but more aquaintances.. I've added many many people that Ive only really talked to once and still have them on my list. Why I'd keep them on there? I dont know.. I guess I'm a name hoarder. There have been occasions where a friend will become a good friend and itll be an easy friendship where theyll message you and talk to you hours on end or vice versus.. but those are few and far between. most people are there to kill momentary boredom I guess and you have to be ok with talking to them for a day.. value the experience no matter how short or long it is.. there will come a time when someone will come along and the friendship will be a strong one and you wont have to worry about "fake" friends Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nico Vasiliov Posted March 29, 2015 Author Share Posted March 29, 2015 I've added many many people that Ive only really talked to once and still have them on my list. Why I'd keep them on there? I dont know.. I guess I'm a name hoarder. yes. Thats where I also struggled. To keep them or to delete them. most people are there to kill momentary boredom I guess and you have to be ok with talking to them for a day Thats the feeling I also have gotten over the time there. But I guess my issue was that I took them as a friends meanwhile they didnt give 2 cents but instead just to kill their own boredom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madelaine McMasters Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 I don't think the subject is taboo. Though I don't spend much time in-world these days, I've got friends I've kept in contact with for years. I chat with some of them more often and at greater length than some of my RL friends. I've had very few experiences like you've described. And I'm not sure how to determine if someone is pretending to like me, nor do I understand why they would do that. I think it's more likely that someone finds me interesting at first blush, less so as time goes on, then fades away. I'll enjoy the initial attention if I get it and miss it when it goes. Similarly there are people I've found less interesting as I've learned more about them. That's life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Jetaime Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 For reasons I never could fathom people offer and accept friendships in SL far too fast IMO. The result is what happened to you. You talk to your new friend for a while, then never hear from them again. It could be they are just too busy with other 'friends', or maybe after talking to you a while they decide there is no real basis for friendship. Also they could be what I call 'friend collectors' whose only goal is to add as many friends as they can so they can brag about their long lists. Get to know someone for a while before adding them to your friends list. Have some rules for yourself for keeping them on your list. Say if you don't hear from them or if they keep putting you off, after a certain amount of time drop them. Being friends in SL is like RL. You'll meet lots of people that pass quickly through your SL or that remain mere acquaintances. Out of all the people you meet, only a few will turn out to be real friends, and only a few of those will turn out to be true long time friends. Just remember it isn't quantity but quality that counts when it comes to friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Six Igaly Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 I stopped accepting friendship offers long ago. Especially when it is offered only because I answered someones question or even better, talked with someone for 2 whole minutes. Even when it feels good and all, when you feel there is some connection, it still is not a friend. Some might become one, sooner or later. What I do since I stopped accepting (usually), is giving my calling card so one can find me back easily. 9 out of 10 never heard from again. Works great.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nostoll Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 T Nico Vasiliov wrote: Hello I would like to touch on a taboo subject in SL residents don' t really seem to like touching on. As the world is supposed to be a fairytale for many. I would like to hear your experiences on those so called friends in SL. People who spend time with you, act and pretend that they like you. It can be a few days in a row or weeks. But than within a few days they suddenly have no longer time etc. (when they before said they want to do rping etc the next day they act as if they never said so, you get the idea) Would you consider such people as friends? Keep them on your flist? delete? etc they are,fake,they are not my firends if they act so,they have to respect their words,and to be here when i need them,i don't need actors ,my life is not a movie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LlewLlwyd Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 I don't have any "friends". ***What's the point*** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Markham Weatherwax Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 You have friends. You have close friends. You have work friends, social friends, casual friends, and others you are not friends with but are on friendly terms with. They are not all equal. SL friendships are another version of these kinds of friendships. Some people take it too seriously, some not seriously enough. RL and SL isn't that much different in regards to this. You meet people, you connect, you have a good time with each other or whatever, and then the marriage is over pretty quickly. They get bored or you get bored and it's on to the next adventure and the next friendship. I think that most friendships in SL are casual friendship where you run into each other at the same places and chat for a bit. They don't need to be on your friend's list and your don't need to be on theirs. You run into each other at the same places, after all. In most cases you can join a group, be it a social group or whatever, and then you can see when other members of the group are online or not. You don't need to friend them all. SL friendships are easier than RL ones on most levels, but much more complicated. You can a great friend here who suddenly becomes distant because of something that happened in RL that you know nothing about and never will. Just remember that finding close friends in RL is hard and it is no different in SL. You will have lots of people you will be friendly with but who are not really and truly friends. People are people, even when that person is controlling an avatar. No difference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LlewLlwyd Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Markham Weatherwax wrote: You can a great friend here who suddenly becomes distant PROBABLY because you canned him. ***Or maybe it was something you wrote that he misunderstood*** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IvanTwin Rogers Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Don't ask about a fake friends, they are horrible BOTS AND GRIEFERS!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sassy Romano Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I've always had a simple view on this. The people whom I can think of as friends, are the ones who do NOT appear or need to appear in any contact list. I remember their names, I know when they're likely to be online, I know how to contact them, I know what to say when I do, I know what we have in common and I know, *they* also know the same. The ones in the contact list are just that, contacts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perrie Juran Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Part of the problem is it can be hard to keep track of people in SL. You chat with someone and think maybe you'd like to chat with them again so to facilitate staying in touch we use "Friendship." Which brings us to the subject of Calling Cards. I really don't understand why they were not more popular and used more. They were and are IMO an easier way to keep track of casual acquaintances. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenMichelle Lane Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I have many acquaintances in my SL Friends List because the SL Acquaintances List feature is still broken. The hallmark identifying feature of my close friends, from that same said list, is found in the Notes: section of their profile and in the 1000's of lines of historical chat exchanged with them in SL and usually in one or more RL Social Media applications. I usually don't suffer well those folks whose reason for being is to drag me into their SL and RL manipulations & dramas. But once you and I are close, then we end up sharing all sorts of insanity together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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