Posts: 1,276

SL isn't RL?

So this is something that I've never seen answered very well.

I often see people with profiles that say that SL has nothing to do with RL, or that they're a different person in SL than RL, or something. Someone even said that voice was terrible for SL.

I don't understand it, though.

I readily admit that I come from a gamer background. I've played shooters, MMO's, and various different XBox games. My username is generally the same across all of them. People that know me and play with me call me by my first name, RL name. We've used in-game and out of game voice clients for hands free chatting, to make it easier to play and not type. People that play with me recognize my voice across all platforms.

So when I hear someone talking in voice in SL and look at their profile, and it says that RL isn't SL, or whatever... I get confused even more. That's even worse than the ones that stay chat only, and act that way.

In no other online community that I've ever been part of, did the people seem to think they were different people in-game than in the real world. Why is SL treated differently?

Honored Resident
Posts: 93

Re: SL isn't RL?

Reply to Gadget Portal - view message

I've been online for about 15 years and have joined many sites.  On most of those, I have a regular screenname.  One that if you find it in search, it's me.  But, that's my screenname.  My personal info is shared with very few.  Even if it were a video/voice program.  They knew me as a screenname, not *my name.*  When I came into SL, I chose not to use that name because I wanted SL to be something seperate.  

I don't share my personal details (hubby and kids names, info on where I work, what I do, etc.) with everyone.  Just as in RL, some people get some of it, but few get all of it.  Normally chat is about whatever is going on at that particular site.  I might say "Grrr, dang kids/hubby annoying the crap outta me, brb".

I am the same person, I'm just as nice/*itchy/crabby as I am in RL.

So for me, SL is in SL until I know you well enough that I choose to share my rl voice/pic/name/whatever with you.  But for me, that's been the same for the past 15 years.

Posts: 8,597
Registered: ‎05-21-2009

Re: SL isn't RL?

Reply to Gadget Portal - view message

Maybe because most people don't consider SL is a game but rather a virtual world where people can lead a second life or the life of their choosing or even a life they can't lead in RL?  Maybe their avatar is a character to them that has nothing to do with their RL.  Of course everyone, even the most serious RP'ers brings something of their RL self into SL, but that doesn't mean they want to or have to reveal anything about it to just anyone. 

I have no problem voicing, but my profile has something similar to it in it because frankly I am not going to answer any questions about my RL to just anyone for the sake of privacy and security. Without that statement in there strangers ask me all kinds of things, including some very personal stuff, and then get mad or rude if I don't want to answer their questions.   I do however, mutually share some of RL with close and trusted long term friends and think most people do if they are lucky enough to have them.

As far as text vs.. voice, its a personal choice. Not everyone lives alone in a quiet home.  Who wants to hear the TV, kids and other people in the background of someone's voice? I don't. I also don't want people calling me in voice unless they IM me first to see if it is OK.  I can talk to several people at a time in IM but only one person in voice.

Also consider that people use their cell phones to text more than voice anymore.  Why do they do that when they can just call?

Posts: 11,261
Registered: ‎10-16-2009

Re: SL isn't RL?

Reply to Gadget Portal - view message

Short answer now because really I should be in bed.

I don't try to keep RL out of SL, only personally identifiable information.

I have used voice but prefer text...partly out of long time habit on the Web.  Personal preference.  I do highly recommend against voicing under the influence.

How much different people know about me varies.  A few of my SL friends know my RL identity and visa versa.  But that is very few.

I'm not a gamer, have never played them, but from comments I've heard from others it is different.  Though I don't know how I would explain it.  One of my family members met her RL husband in a MMO and they've been happily married going on four years now.

Posts: 396

Re: SL isn't RL?

Reply to Gadget Portal - view message

Thats why its called "Second Life"! You can be what ewer you like in here,create totaly different persona than you are in RL!Be what ewer you like,from plywood box that just sites there and looks inert or superspeedy alien that buzes around,you can be male in RL and female in SL,or other way around,you can be 80yo rl and RP as 12yo kid in SL! Choice is yours to act like something/someone you are not in RL,personality/look/gender/species or  be same as you in RL!!! SL is not a game,games have a goal,fixed characters with limited development ability,levels that are premade by game makers ect.SL does not have that,it is 3d world with comunity of various residents,it is 99% resident made content and endless posiility of your second persona development,you coose what you will be and how will you act!!

Ewen broken clock shows correct time 2 times a day
Posts: 1,365
Registered: ‎09-22-2009

Re: SL isn't RL?

Reply to Gadget Portal - view message

As said before - no one can keep RL 100 % out of SL.

Funny that people are so bloody scared reveal even a tiny bit about their RL but then millions have a FB profile where you can find everything even phone numbers, partner names, work ....

It is a good practice to not put all your details open for everyone and decide who knows what about you. That´s what we all do in RL, right ?

I do not look like in real or have the same work or .... but my avatar acts as me - 99,95 %   ;-)

So, with all the information 10.000s easy share with all the world on Social Platforms, SL is the only they become scared and tight. Don´t go into FB privacy settings, they are useless ! See what happened to MZ sister.

If i know you and think you are genuine i will answer most questions about my RL, there is nothing to hide.



Stay calm - Just smile and wave
Posts: 1,444
Topics: 32
Blog Posts: 0
Registered: ‎12-10-2009

Re: SL isn't RL?

Reply to Gadget Portal - view message

I don't understand the OPs reasoning at all. Not because RL and SL are totally different but because I hate voice chat. I find the idea of wearing a headset and talking into my computer screen pretty silly, for me that machine must be quiet. I have the sound muted most of the time, no wind, no ambient sounds, no object sounds, not even my own gestures. I have iTunes running all the time and wanna hear the music not some semi-intelligent hogwash from other avatars. As an ESLer I often don't even understand what they are saying anyway, all those british accents and slangs elude me. And my answers would be sounding like a retarted person with mei häwwy djörmän akksent.

But  wouldn't even voice with other germans. Okay, I'm as antisocial as they come, don't own a cellphone, have no facetwitter, no skype, hate even the weekly phonecall by my mother ("kid, we never hear from you").

SL was and still is my first and only online game or computer game at all. Before I found SL I used my lappy as a typewriter and surfstation. Never even had a headset or anything like that.

SL and RL are very much the same for me, I'm basically the same grumpy person in both worlds. Only in SL I'm a tad more outgoing and less shy, richer, jet settier, posher ... oh and much younger and more attractive and oh my.


Orca's World is now »Thar She Blows!«
Posts: 284

Re: SL isn't RL?

Reply to Orca Flotta - view message

What I think is interesting is that two people -in this case the op and myself- can each say "gamer" but mean two very different things. One's experience (sounds like shooter/action gaming?) was one way and the other (roleplay) were basically opposite.

For me, none of the mmogs I participated in "appreciated" first life chat or diverting from role. It was very "immersive" (the word they use now). In the one I played the longest, (years) yes, people regularly felt that their game self had a life of its own to an extent. Immersion was very deep. Peer social control to keep it that way very high. And  so when emotions or whatever else ran high it ran high as [insert character name]. The typist felt fear/ anger/ lust/ whatever because its their mind thats engaged AND YET ration tells you its not "you"- you're not Baron von Klieff/the high paja/ whatever it is that the character is thats allotting the circumstance of the feeling.

In sl people fall in love, have families, buy helicopters...... But when rl Christmas happened where you able to run up your rl stairs and kiss that sl child goodnight? When you wake up, is your marketplace helicopter on the lawn of your rl house? So then you neither are that  parent you are in sl or megamilllionaire with the copter on the lawn. THAT (for me) is what we mean. Its just like those roleplays I described in paragraph two. The typist may very well feel x, or y, because its their mind engaged in interacting with your mind BUT its not occuring in the total realm of reality. The furry we also are in sl, we're not. The club host we're being, we're not a real life club host cuz this aint a real life club. Its a mentally engaging representation of a club on a computer screen.

Its very easy to "slip" into believing the club is a club. You have crowd and appearance and noise and all of your friends are gathered there. But thats the same thing that happens with that "immersion" I talked about. (grins) An official sl rp may or may not impose immersion. But sl as a grid often, inadvertantly, does. People start buying into their own identity here.

HERE they own the block (sim) but in rl they may be struggling to meet the teir  payment. So where's the mogul? Its not real. None of this is real. Except your feelings. And thats whats real in roleplays.

This is not your real life . Get over it. Loosen up
Posts: 4,147
Topics: 29
Registered: ‎05-30-2011

Re: SL isn't RL?

Reply to Gadget Portal - view message

I have a MMORPG background too, but people there never called me with my RL name. I don't have to tell a bunch of strangers my RL name, there is no need to do so and I'm also not really amazed by learning 40 new names and match them to 40 fantasy names (taking a guild in WoW as an example). That wasn't influenced by using teamspeak or other voicechatprogramms.

Now to SL. I once had a similar statement in my profile, but I deleted it because those that should have read it didn't care about profiles at all. Keeping SL sperated from RL doesn't mean for me to be someone else here than I'm in RL. But it means that I keep my RL private. I don't like how some people push for RL informations here or share theirs like its something really amazing or important. There are things I don't want to know, because they ruin the moment or the fantasy.

I don't share RL pictures of me, nor do I like conversations around the topic on how I look in RL or if I'm really female. Thats not my cup of tea. I'm not here for a relationship/love that carries over to RL....your avatar and character counts for me, not what or who you are in RL.


For many others SL is really a second life, a place that allows them to be what they wish to be. Too much RL informations disturb that possiblity.

On the internet nobody knows you are a dog.
Posts: 9,143
Registered: ‎09-09-2009

Re: SL isn't RL?

Reply to Gadget Portal - view message

In my RL I never come in contact with psychopaths and criminals.  I have carefully constructed a life in which I never attract their attention (yet I know they are out there).  SL, OTOH, there they are, with easy access to me. At least I want to do what I can to prevent them from showing up on my RL doorstep.