I know its the trend but...

[Sephina Frostbite]

Ive been confronted by quite a few people stating that I am too plain. That my arse and hips are way too small. No offense to anyone but I don't want to have a huge arse and hips. I have curves and feel no need to take them to the extreme. I understand this is the trend but its not for me. I wouldn't even bother with this thread if it wasn't for almost every male who I go on a date with ends up asking me to change my shape to fit the new trend. I'm obviously going to be who I am, I was wondering if any one else had this issue. Sl is becoming rather lonely now because of it.

[Lynda Baran]

I'm pretty much the same way.  And I've run into the same thing continually.   The only "extras" I have are the fitted mesh Lolas, and only because I can make them smaller. To me they just have a better shape than the slider breasts.

And I also refuse to switch to a mesh body.  I don't think they look as good and it's bad enough having to shop for clothing based on the Lolas, much less the body itself.

The bottom line is it's your SL, be what you want and make the way you look so that it pleases you.   If the guys you date can't accept that, you may be dating the wrong guys anyway.

[Ariel Vuissent]

Ignore them, and move on. Would you have plastic surgery for a guy in RL? Sounds like you might be going out with the wrong kind of guy.

I've noticed the trend. Most of us have, I think; there have been threads before about the "invisible pony rider" avatars that popped up a while ago, one of the features of which is wide hips and a large bottom. On top of that, with the mesh bum trend, things have gotten even more out of proportion recently. Still, while I've noticed many of these avatars cropping up, I haven't had an issue with it, myself, so again, I think you might be talking to the wrong people.

[Nova Convair]

Where is the problem? The opinion of others about your avatar is meaningless. So little self confidence?

If someone asks you to change your avatar that's good. Then you know it's not worth to waste another second with them. An easy filtering for incompatibility.

[Caitlin Tobias]

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Sephina Frostbite wrote:

Ive been confronted by quite a few people stating that I am too plain.

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Really?

 

My avatar is on the skinny side and by no means following any trends - unless I accidentally hit a trend, but I am usually not aware.

I have never had people telling me off for my looks.

You either need other friends or other places to hang out. Or you are just posting this to get some sort of confirmation about your look/yourself.

 

Have a great friday.

[Alwin Alcott]

reading this post i think you have the need to feel being liked by others and need their confirmation.

Be yourself and gain some confidence.

 

it's a bit like nearly all your posts start with "not sure it't the right place" ... just write, post and move on... if it's not right it willbe moved or removed. dont doubt so much  And second, don't think people who comment on it are mad, angry or blunt, it's just a response on a message, not your person.

[Sidnella Riler]

You should use what you feel comfortable with <3

[Sephina Frostbite]

Not sure where you are anyone else is seeing where I lack confidence. I have been in sl for a long time and I wont change for anyone. I was simply curious to see if anyone else was asked as well. Nothing more into this then that.

[Sephina Frostbite]

Most days I spend in SL I am completely alone. I am teaching myself how to build. If people like me awesome and if they dont.. oh well. Its called being polite. I havent been on the forum for a long time and I want to make sure I am not breaking protocol. 

[Sephina Frostbite]

If I wanted confirmation on my looks I would have posted a picture of myself and asked if this looks good. I didnt. I was simply wondering if anyone else had experienced the same as I. A simple yes or no.. or dont post would have been fine. 

[Ren Toxx]

I reckon most of us, if not all, have probably received avatar suggestions we didn’t necessarily ask for, Sephina. It’s just a trait of personality: some may be more careful about giving them or even completely avoid doing so, while others are more outspoken, perhaps at the expense of respect for the other’s choices. I understand that it may be disheartening that all your prospective partners seem short on such politeness, but really, there’s about a zillion ways in which a person can be a jerk... that’s just one of them, more a common flaw than a specific trend; and the side issue of whether you’re in fact meeting the right kind of guys can only be discussed if you wish it so ;-)

 

For me, suggestions fall into either of these two categories: either they tell me something I actually wasn’t aware of (in which case I’ll try their suggestion and decide if *I* like it better that way), or something that’s clearly their choice but not mine, in which case I’ll smile and not change a damn thing regardless (and, if they insist, I’ll start being secretly amused at their obnoxiousness).

[Pussycat Catnap]

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Lynda Baran wrote:

I'm pretty much the same way.  And I've run into the same thing continually.   The only "extras" I have are the fitted mesh Lolas, and only because I can make them smaller. To me they just have a better shape than the slider breasts.

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Interesting. I find the lolas just won't hold up if made small enough to be 'possible without silicone'...

Mesh bodies are always improving, and there are some good ones out now. But if you really don't want one, for the bosom there is the 'tatas' which are 'fitted and normal sized but shaped better'.

As for hips and butt - there is a lot of extremes in SL. Either comically huge, or boyishly slim - sometimes even LESS curve than a man. I've always favored curvy but humanly possible.

But if you have a look that works for you, fine.

 

[Marigold Devin]

By contrast, most of the chaps I have dated in Second Life have been far too into their own looks to comment on mine, and the one who did want me to change my skin/hair/shape wore the same outfit for most of the time I knew him.

In real life, a man who told me I needed to lose weight found that I did very quickly lose 11 stone - HIM!

I am sure your avatar is perfectly fine as it is. If you like it, and feel happy travelling around Second Life in your current form, then that really is all that matters. 

[LlazarusLlong]

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Sephina Frostbite wrote:

Ive been confronted by quite a few people stating that I am too plain. That my arse and hips are way too small. No offense to anyone but I don't want to have a huge arse and hips. I have curves and feel no need to take them to the extreme. I understand this is the trend but its not for me. I wouldn't even bother with this thread if it wasn't for almost every male who I go on a date with ends up asking me to change my shape to fit the new trend. I'm obviously going to be who I am, I was wondering if any one else had this issue. Sl is becoming rather lonely now because of it.

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The obvious conclusion is that your taste in men is as bad as their taste in women.

[Sephina Frostbite]

That's Funny and a good way to look at it. I'm not hurt by them. a I love my avi. Had her for 5 years. I have no problem telling then where they can stick it. I also need a better area to hang out obviously because the quality of men has falling apparently. Thanks.

[Ohjiro Watanabe]

I find the trend revulting and that thing with the lips as well.

[Syo Emerald]

The truth is, I even avoid avatars with enourmous hips, butts and breasts. Not only do I think its ugly (and I don't like looking at ugly things), but I also associate a very awful behavior with them. And its a bit dumb to blindly follow a trend because others do it. I bet many of them had ponyrider shapes before.