Tari Landar

Good grief, why do you always do this, constantly, trying to flip flop what people say based on your.. oh forget it. I'm sure whatever I was going to say there would've been just mean anyway, lol. Pearl HERSELF said that it is causing her rl distress, aka, trouble. The advice to then separate once the sl gets turned off, is, indeed, valid and smart advice. If something that you can easily walk away from, and even turn off, is causing you stress, why on earth would the best advice to be... go ahead, chase it anyway, make more stress for yourself. That's essentially what you're saying. The harm is already being done, detaching form what's causing it, is therefore, good. I agree with others that there doesn't seem to be anything at all genuine about the OPs posts, intent, whatever the heck. I mean, whatever tickles your pickle and all that jazz. Go forth and post as you wish (really), though you should never be surprised at the responses you get, lol. I'm still miffed about another comment made, which I don't intend to let go (and yes it may make me seem childish, but I've every right to feel offended ad no obligation to anyone other than myself, to eventually let that offended feeling go, assuming I ever do). So I'm far more judgmental than I might otherwise be, admittedly so. The desire to be controversial may get someone attention, and perhaps that negative attention is exactly what they crave, but the moment they no longer want that negative attention, it's going to bite them in the ass. I have friends that are pretty controversial in their own right, sometimes willfully ignorant, sometimes flat out jerks. I'm still their friend, unless or until they cross a line that I can't accept. That's the point I distance myself. No one gives me ***** for being their friend, but I'm also the person that will tell my friend when they're being stupid. "I love/like you, but knock the ***** off already" is not that difficult a concept, lol. I wouldn't dislike anyone here for being friends with OP, or anyone else for that matter. I don't think most people would. I might take issue with someone who has a constant need to white knight, but that dislike is seeded way back before OP ever got here, and there's a lot more meat to that bone, it runs deeeeep. This thread was rather pointless to everyone but the OP who has already now told us she's only here for attention, which is only going to skew my bias ever further away given my already not so nice attitude/opinion (hey at least I'm willing to admit I have a bias).

Orwar actually uses the same one I do, lol (never met anyone else that actually uses it), the ana studio 5. I use that one because it's bright, not problematic for a system with lesser graphic capabilities and generally looks quite pretty, even on my worst days. Plus it makes building easier too, because it lacks all the extra junk. If I want to take pics, I usually use the atmosphere ones near the top : the 12:00, 13:00 and their corresponding cloudy versions too. I really like those settings for pics. I don't much mess with most others, because I can't really see them and personally I think the vast majority are ugly. That's not a knock on their creators, but is due in large part to the fact that I'm mostly blind, so of course a lot of things look ugly to me, that's a bit of a no brainer, a lot of things in rl look ugly to me too, lol. I loathe using region defaults in most cases, because the person that designed them usually didn't design them with people like me in mind (sometimes poor graphics, mostly blind), and I wouldn't expect them to. But the majority of them I have found to be extremely unpleasant for me. Darker settings are impossible for me, regardless of how much my desire to have a brighter atmosphere may offend the person that chose a darker theme for "ambiance". I actually did offend someone once when I mentioned I wasn't using the region setting. I point blank said "I can either change the lighting and see, so I can enjoy the sim, or I can leave, because I can't enjoy it otherwise". They threatened to boot me for offending them, so I left and never returned. That person wasn't alone in the belief that the sim just couldn't be enjoyed without the "proper windlight". For the same reason, I can't use the day cycle default, either, because it's too dark for roughly half of every 4 hour cycle and that's just too much effort on my part, lol.

First, let me say, there is no difference between here and rl, as far as "morals" are concerned, or the internal "right and wrong of it". There are legalities to what you share, how you share it, where you share it, which would fall under rules, but rules and morals aren't the same thing (and rarely ever actually match up across the board). At any rate, those are real people, whether you personally think of all people in sl as avs and pixels only, or not, the other party and any third party also involved, not to mention anyone you share that info/pic with...may not feel the same. It's still real people at the end of the day and I don't personally think moral compasses should ever go out the window regardless of one's take on "pixels vs real" This thread does pose some questions, though, which may or may not sound judgmental 1-Why is is so important for you to share these encounters you have with men at all, I don't just mean in pictures, you've mentioned that you also talk about them with your friends, I'm curious as to why you do that? 2-Do you REALLY always get consent, or is that more of a "cover my ass to make it seem like I'm doing things right" kind of deal? Do you actually ask them for their consent before you share anything about the encounters with others? (we already know you don't on the latter half, you've discussed some aspects of your encounters on the forums, so it's more of a "you might want to rethink your answer to the first part" than it is a real question) 3-Do you consider any other party that might be harmed by your sharing? Again this goes above and beyond pictures. Like I said before, I don't absolve a cheater of his cheating ways, in any way, shape, or form. But I am of the camp that holds two parties accountable for their actions in an encounter and the possible repercussions of said encounter. That also means I am of the camp that holds you responsible for what you do not only during, but after an encounter, on the same scale I hold the other person responsible. I think that's my nice way of saying, both of you are hurting another human being and it's not nice. It's very easy for someone in your profession, in sl, to not pursue encounters with those who are, clearly, "taken"-it might get a bit muddy if there is no clarity of that status. But it would be disingenuous to say that the male in that encounter is solely responsible for the effects it may have on that third party. She would be well within her "right"(not really a good term there, just not sure what to use instead at the moment, sorry) to be pissed off as hell at both of you. Not just for pictures, but just in general sharing of information. You said you keep notecards and you share information and other stuff in other threads with your friends also in the profession. That raises some serious red flags for me when it comes to morals, ethics and what this is all really about. It also raises questions about intent. Which is why I said this is a wtf kind of thread. You;'re already doing questionable things, and you know it, which is why you question them (good on you for questioning, not knocking that part), but you're kinda putting your foot in your mouth every time you do it. These threads you're starting tend to flip flop back and forth a lot. When it seems like you might be asking a genuine question, you go and throw something in that indicates it's not really a genuine question at all, but puts your moral compass out there for the world to see and makes it *seem* like it's lacking a needle entirely. I'm not sure that makes sense, I'm attempting to put this as kindly as I can without sounding judgmental, when internally, I am judging quite harshly. (I can fully admit I am a judgmental person when I feel the need to be, I just don't always express those judgments. I just happen to find it better to admit I judge then to pretend I don't) Your follow up posts aren't making it any easier when they make your intent seem to be hell bent to out others for their activities or, I dunno, maybe brag about your conquests to other people in a fashion that is, most definitely, more than likely, going to hurt someone else..I really don't know, but that makes me sad for all the third parties out there who might be hurt because you insist on getting your knickers knocked and then sharing info with ANYONE about it. That makes it seem far less like a profession of a sex worker and more like an intentional relationship/reputation wrecker who's proud of it. I'm not saying you ARE, I'm saying that's what it sounds like, and it may well be that you're simply not good at articulating your thoughts. I'm ***** at it sometimes, so, I can see that, maybe, being a contributing factor here.

Exactly. 100% exactly OK, while I DO agree with a previous poster that :dude "gets what he deserves". There is also another side to this coin that doesn't paint any better picture of you, and that's really, really sad that you don't seem to care about it. Yes, he should NOT be cheating on his significant other. He holds all the responsibility on his end for that. I don't absolve him of that, he deserves repercussions for those actions. But why in the hell are YOU also pursuing people that have a significant other and making that situation worse by not only taking pictures, but also sharing those pictures. What exactly is running through your mind that makes this sound like a good idea, and don't you think at some point it's going to hurt your business? I mean, even from a business standpoint, intentionally making an already existing problem (cheating) worse just seems stupid. You're literally admitting that you want to intentionally make a bad situation worse, just because you can. I don't get it. I'm not trying to be rude, but this is definitely a wtf kind of thread and is going to likely backfire on you inworld, even just from a business standpoint (ie, your'e going to lose johns when they realize you're not only willing, but goign to actively seek out a means to exploit your interactions with them). Come on now, you already knew where the thread was going to go and how it would be perceived. You're intelligent enough to know the responses you'd get. Do what you do and enjoy what you do, but don't compromise other people to do it. Even if those other people are already guilty of compromising their own morals, or doing bad things all of their own accord. That just won't paint you in a good light no matter how you slice it. It stopped being about artistic ability, and creating art, the moment you admitted you wanted to do it anyway and that it would cause problems for other people. If you know it's going to create problems, don't do it. That's just common sense, and anything other than that is merely trolling people. Whether or not those people are guilty of something bad themselves (and those men would be, again, I don't absolve them), that's no reason to "expose" them. You'll also be exposing yourself as someone willing to do whatever the hell she wants, regardless of the impact it might have on a third party. Have you considered how that john's significant other might feel? I mean you don't HAVE to, I suppose, you're not the one that made an agreement to be faithful to them after all. But if you think it paints you in a good light not to consider them, you're wrong. That just means you're willing to compromise other people too, aside from the cheating charlie and that's just not cool.

This will be a hard pass from LL (and probably most residents too, for different reasons, I'm sure). LL used to actually do something similar to this, it's precisely how I lost my first account, possiby my second (I can't be certain if I deleted that one, or they did, but it was deleted nonetheless). It wasn't a very long lived practice, but lasted at least a few years. LL used to delete old accounts that hadn't logged in for a while. The amount of time between logins wasn't super long, it certainly wasn't more than 2 years, though. There was a time when you could get them restored merely by contacting them, but now LL requires that people pay $9.95 (I think this is still the amount, I might be wrong, though) for old deleted accounts to be restored (whether LL deleted it, or you, doesn't matter to LL). I can understand the fee, actually, whether or not I like it, I can understand it. LL stopped doing the "delete old accounts" thing over a decade ago because it went over like a ton of bricks and didn't really accomplish whatever they thought it was going to. It just created more hassle for them in the end, and still is when people do come back and even if they pay the fee for an account restoration, LL seems to still struggle with the logistics of it. How much gets restored is hit or miss and most definitely not uniform across the board. It's actually a total spaghetti mess of inefficiency, which even LL would agree with, they've said as much in the past,...it's already very convoluted practice that they'd prefer not to have to do (restoring old accounts). They aren't about to mak even more work for themselves, lol.

. Let me tell you all a story, the story of a girl and her sl journey, complete with a few visuals. (oh, if you're not familiar...super long...not sorry ) (not a 2008 pic, its actually 2009 I think, but yes I really was reading a story to my bunnies, my chinchilla army, in my fav jammies EVER...I still have them) Picture it...second life, 2008... There was a girl, let's call her Tari, she played a game, let's call it, not second life. She had some friends, who also played this not second life game. Sadly, they were due to lose their beloved passtime. So they made the most of what they had while they had it. They played, they laughed, they listened to music, they jammed, they pizza'd, until that fateful day... The TSO would be lost...the TSO would be lost. (My first actual profile pic (I didn't say it was good, did I?)) Stranded, with nowhere else to turn, sl became a safe haven, sort of, kind of. Okay, it was good enough. Tari had been here before, but it had never held much appeal, for clearly obvious reasons, okay maybe not so clearly, or obvious, but for reasons nonetheless. The group of TSO refugees gathered together on an island and did the best that they could, with what sl had to offer. Sometimes the best sl had to offer, wasn't really what one might call the best. (ahh, missing image, how I miss you) (no effin clue, just random holes in the ground, one of sl's oddities, and no this isn't a texture or shadow thing, as you can see fr my graphics, they sucked...it was literally an sl mishap that happened now and then back then) Still, they pressed forward armed with a bit of knowledge, they forged the way for other wayward stragglers, and boy were they wayward... (power to the rangers!!, I'm the red one, btw...) (ain't he perty?, doc, if you see this... uhh.....yeah, not sorry ) (Oh zach, you poor ruthed dear....yep, thta's me standing next to him, lovely outfit, eh?) Then one day, this lolely looking pair showed up on the island. Tari, while trying to contain her laughter long enough to continue breathing, noticed just who this lolely looking couple of stragglers was. Both of them being good friends, but one of them holding a bit more significance for her. That, is where their sl love story began..... (my first clothing item I made, jammies, that's hubby and I, he WANTED to model them...crazy man, and yep, gnome's holding my boobs...appropriate) The rest of that part, my friends, is best left, for another day, another thread, and another topic. Or at least when I get bored and feel like typing a novel again Tari, being the ever inquisitive person that she is, decided she wanted to try and make things. What things, who knew, but things were her goal and her sights were pretty set. Her first creation ever, a 13 prim bench, still sits in her inventory today. It's her most prized possession, becuase it took her TWO WEEKS, yes, really, to make it right. There's something you need to know about Tari, in case you don't already, she's legally blind, so creation is a bit of a chore when you can't tell if things are actually crooked, straight, misaligned or generally as fugly as fugly can be. Her next creation was a changing room for the island, because damnit, we needed a spot to keep our bits hidden from prying eyes. Oh, the naivety of this dear sweet summer child. She kept creating, she made some stuff, it wasn't all good stuff, but it was stuff, and that's what counted. In between making stuff she went on trips wiht her fellow refugees, now permanent sl residents. They went to amazing places like xcite to work on their bits and get their nipples on straight. They went to castles to play tag with the most awesome set of vampires they had ever, or would ever, meet in sl. They danced, they played music, they explored, they went to events. They met people and gained partners, they held weddings, they commiserated when sl would have super bad days. They wore bling, they shopped, okay, anyone that knows Tari knows she merely went along for the company, they watched movies. They made friends, they went on expeditions. They sat on and clicked EVERYTHING. (this was during a hunt, when we have to wear something from EVERY location....sigh...bwaaaaahaaaa...I'm in the purple) (hubby and I sitting in a tree, high as a kite, laughing so hard neither of us could breath, poking a friend in a cat av with a long stick for no reason other than we could) (I need to look this place up, but for whatever reason, we sat in the fireplace, this might be Dharma, but I don't remember offhand) (I'm the devil, this was a gaming place way back when) This rather ragged looking group of former refugees made a home for themselves, and even if the years have separated them, the memories will always exist and be cherished by all. Slowly other refugees from their former home came, and some left just as quickly as they joined, but for a very long time, this first group of explorers were the glue that held the lot together, and held a home ready and waiting for any other stragglers too. Shenanigans were always welcome, and most of them, even if they have drifted apart, still partake to this day This story has no real ending...I merely ran out of room for pictures To be continued...eventually (obvs ) I'm gonna leave this one here, it was supposed to be up higher, lmao

Not warm and fuzzy, just funny as hell. Funny makes laughter and laughter makes me warm and fuzzy. So..

I don't necessarily think it's shallow (I won't lie and say that I don't ever think it is, in some cases, it very well may be, for some people) but I think this is where I separate from a lot of people on this matter. For me, sl is NOT all about illusions, alternate realities, escaping from everything rl, etc... it's just not for me. Yes, sl is an escape and it offers me so very many things I can't or don't have in rl, but it's not this entirely separate entity. This is also why it can be difficult for those who separate sl from rl, to mingle with those who do not..we tend to approach things on this level from completely different angles and it can, at times, lead to a lot of discourse. I can't tell you how many people I have offended by telling them that their avs don't matter nearly as much to me as the people behind the avs. I find it odd they'd be offended, and they find it odd that I care more about them as humans versus their pixelated presentations of self. It's not that I don't appreciate the work, effort, the av, whatever.. I do, I just have MORE appreciation for the person behind it (even if I don't know them, or anything about them..which that alone probably sounds odd, lol). I can understand why those who associate more with avs than the people behind them can have their illusions dashed. I don't have to agree with their stance to fully understand where they are coming from or why. More often than not those who don't separate the two get seen as the odd ones out lol. For the longest time, sl wasn't quite that way, but it has been slowly moving more towards a lot more people who DO very much separate the two and see them as two entirely different entities (and some who claim they do, but they only seem to actually do so under certain circumstances......man people confuse me lol)

I don't separate sl and rl the same way some do, so my answer may be different. I don't find it remotely strange whatsoever. Behind every avatar is a human being (ok, maybe only 99% of avatars, there is at least one alien behind one of our old forum regulars....but I digress..) and whether or not I know a lot, or anything at all, about that person behind the avatar, they are NOT just their avatar to me. Even people who don't want to be seen as more than their avatar, to me, are very much, more than their av. So keeping that in mind makes the whole idea of seeing "the person behind the curtain", not even remotely odd to me, let alone disconcerting. I suppose if I hung around or associated with people who were, themselves, the sort one might find to be questionable, I may think otherwise. However, I don't, so I don't have to feel any sort of way other than "cool, nice to meet you" with them. Of course that's not to say I'd meet in person with just anyone, but on the off chance that I did, it still wouldn't be all that odd to me to know that person is more than just their pixels presented inworld. It would be weird *for me* to feel that they should be only what they present inworld. Others may approach that differently, good on them if they do, but I prefer to remember that NO ONE here, even those for whom their avatar is really more of a pixelated representation of their rl selves, is actually their avatar. They're human beings, not pixels, and they comprise of all the things human beings do, not avatars. So my approach probably isn't as typical as some might be. I never met hubby in rl until a while after we came here, even though we had already known each other for quite a long time online, spoken on the phone and in voice countless times, exchanged all kinds of pictures and knew damn near everything about one another (we met elsewhere online a very long time ago). I was nervous when I met him because...OMG I LOVE HIM, not because OMG he's not his avatar self.. For me, that second approach, the one I have seen many mention, is the odd one, not mine, lol. But, that doesn't make either one universally right or wrong, just right or wrong for the individual that has it

I don't usually fit the patterns for these kinds of things (and don't here either). I don't shop the way a lot of others do. That is to say, I rarely ever shop for things like clothes, accessories, things for my av, etc. When I do shop for them, my demo to purchase ratio is pretty well balanced. I only demo things I'm already damn near certain I intend to buy. I would say out of every 10 demos (and that's being generous, I probably haven't demo'd more than ten things in the last four years lol) I have purchased 8 of them. I can really only think of two things I have demo'd in the least few years that did not look as I expected them to once I got them. One of them I was uncertain of to begin with and a demo just confirmed what I had already thought, and the other was an unexpected poor quality (badly rigged and poor quality textures). That said, I do help some others with finding demos a lot, and their ratios are probably more in line with others' listed here, so probably close to a 10 demos to every 2 or 3 actual purchases. I also know someone that seems to demo damn near everything she encounters, lol, but rarely buys any of it. Pretty sure she has a demo addiction, and hey, at least that's a free addiction, lol.

The same way everyone else does, by participating. If they make a faux pas, they own it, make whatever right they feel needs to be made right, and move right along. New folks come here all the time. Hell, I send them here all the time, lol. The vast majority don't have any problem figuring things out. Those that do, even if they take a bit, eventually seem to get it. Most of the people that have the biggest problems here are people that make no effort to figure out A-what the problem is, B-if, or how, they themselves contribute(d) to it, C--how to remedy it. I've seen a lot of issues on theses forums over the years, and all their former incarnations. I've been reading them since 2005, at least, and I'm always surprised when people say only negative things about them. Most issues DO eventually get resolved, honestly. It's as if people are only LOOKING for that, so it's all they find. There's a pretty vast wealth of posts and knowledge and experience and laughter, and...well, you get my drift, on these forums. Even if, ok, when, there is negativity, the positivity (why is that not a word mr spellcheck?) far outweighs it, you just have to be open to finding it. The same goes for new folks and figuring out the politics, as it were (I don't know that's the term I'd use, but I get the gist of what you're asking, so I'm rollin with it), you figure it out by sticking around long enough, even if you don't personally participate to either ask/post, or read, enough. That's how everything works, even out there in the scary world though. You learn how things work, and you can either challenge that knowledge, or accept it. Either way you go, it might go well, it might not, but giving up on the idea that it can go well certainly seems far less intriguing to me, and almost makes one's presence in such a negative atmosphere rather questionable. But that's a convo for another topic and another day, I think. TLDR; They learn, like we, humans, do everywhere

It wouldn't go in the employment section, you're not looking for actual employment or employees (just giving you a heads up, because it'll get removed and you'll get your hand slapped by mods if you put it there). If you own a club looking for employees in your profession, then you can advertise there, but you do not. Advertising on the forums isn't exactly welcome in the way you might think it is, for anyone. That's the only reason we're allowed signatures for it, really, it's not blatant "advertising your wares". The OLD forums, used to allow advertising, again in specific areas, but did allow it. The newer incarnations do not allow it, well, not really anyway. I would err on the side of caution advertising your services outside of the myriad of other advertising methods and your signature, merely because it probably won't go well. There may be an area in the adult section you can advertise, not sure, I don't visit that section (someone else might know better).

I originally came to the fora of yesteryear merely to read, and read I did, for a very long time, even when I wasn't in sl anymore. In 2008 I came back to stay, and that was my first REAL interactions with any of the fora as more of a regular. I spent more time reading them than I did posting on them, at least these community ones (well, their predecessors ). The xstreet forums is where I spent far more of my time, both reading and participating, they were a lot more fun than these ones. These (the oooold versions) were more informative than fun for me, back then, although a bit less policed as well, weird balance really, for those that have been around long enough to watch the various transformations of the different fora. I learned most of my creating skills from those old forums, especially in areas where more information was shared between folks, a whole lot of information actually. I also learned a lot from taking things apart and making wild guesses as to "what does this do?" and "hmm, I wonder what'll happen if..?" questions when making scripts and whatnot. I've always spent more time reading the forums than posting, in all their incarnations, but it's just in my nature to do that. I like words, I like using words, I like reading words...therefore I like reading forums. I learn a lot more about people just reading than I do participating too. A lot of things people probably don't even realize others can learn about them can be found on the forums, if you're here long enough to read more than the average forumite tends to do. (see, a whole novel just to say, I read lots, and I know lots, lmao). I do enjoy a good laugh and I get loads of them here, a whole lot of them are definitely not intentional, which is why I am far less likely to ever "react" to a post, because I learned long ago that those laughs at unintentional funnies are not welcome lol. (but, I still laugh, not gonna lie, even at things that most definitely weren't intended to be funny). I also like learning-which I've done a whole hell of a lot, on all kinds of things. I find the forums entertaining, even when not intended to be. Sometimes I also need something to give me a little push to gtfa(away, not out) from people for a while, and the forums can do that too. As negative as that sounds, it's not really. I like just about everyone here, really, even people with whom I regularly disagree, probably on just about everything, and people I know don't like me one iota. That keeps me coming back even if I take a break for a month or twenty.

This place, much like the rest of the world (virtual and otherwise) CAN lack civility. However, you're forgetting that street goes a multitude of directions. It's basically a giant bowl of spaghetti. Each time you point your finger at someone else for being uncivil, odds are good a whole bunch are pointing back at you (both those you possess without even realizing, and those of others). This place can also be a great comfort, a wonder of merriment, a place to share and receive a few laughs, a place to share, and most importantly, a place to learn. You can learn all sorts of things here, make new friends, but keep the old..one is silver..and the other gold.... Veered off track there a bit, let me hop back on. You really can learn all kinds of things, new skills, about the world around you, fashion if that's your thing, about other people and their cultures, find some new movies or music to watch/listen to. I mean the things you can learn here in the forums is damn near limitless, if you put in the effort to do so. It really is, and if you stick around long enough to stop making the same patterns here, you'll see it. Anyone that comes here and says they have nothing to learn, or nothing to gain from the forums, is most likely not going to ever feel welcome here, or anything remotely like this place. That person would also likely struggle with being in sl in general, and perhaps even with people in rl. (that's not me making judgments, it's just something that is). If you look at everything you see and read here as bad, because some things didn't go your way, all you'll ever have is a negative impression and you'll be blocking your own self from ever finding anything better to see, know, enjoy, whatever. Sometimes things going on in our lives outside of here can also have an impact on things we experience here too. I take breaks frequently for that very reason. I also leave topics when they get too heated for my liking, for the same reason. That's also what will happen if you continue making posts like this, which drag topics from one thread, ones that are already negative, and try to make them into new threads. It's just going to carry the negativity from one place to another, and you're going to continue to perpetuate the negative impressions people have of you, why you're here, etc...You'll only reiterate the negative things people have said, in fact, you'll solidify the truth in them, and more often than not, those that once thought more highly of you will slowly begin to think less and less. It's happened numerous times here and will continue to do so. That's also where my infamous comment stems from. Being infamous is rarely ever a positive thing, and it sticks with you. Also, no matter how many times someone says they don't mind being infamous, the entire world will know they're lying about that (assuming they're not an actual narcissist), it won't feel good and we all know it, because it only carries negative connotation. Reputations do stick with you, but you can change them if you so wish. I have a rep for turning what could be a few sentences into an entire novel of drivel. There was a time when I wanted to change that, but I eventually got over it (mostly because I realized it's ingrained in my very nature to not be concise, and it doesn't bother me), people eventually realized they can either skip my novels or not, and we're all living in that world now. At one point, many moons ago, in a distance too far off to remember...kidding, but, really, for a while it carried a more negative effect, and it still does in the eyes of some. I do think most eventually realized that it's a take it or leave it kind of deal and it doesn't have to be negative (whether they agree with me, read my posts, or not) it just has to be. If you want to change what you;re perceiving as people being uncivil (sometimes it is, sometimes I think its just your perception), you can always change how you participate in it and see if that has any effect. This thread, for example, isn't likely to garner you much positive results, and it is more likely to come across as if that wasn't the intended purpose. You can also change the company with which you keep, it helps to understand the backgrounds of those pretending to support you (that's a disadvantage of being newer around somewhere, but you'll eventually get there). Sometimes those folks are only making things worse for you by agreeing that the world is as you see it, you just might not realize they're doing so until you've been here a while.

As do I I am not part of any mob. I speak for myself. I have no ulterior motives, or any desire to do so. I have stated something, and someone, is being offensive, and you continue to defend it as if I, because I was offended, am in the wrong. Sometimes I don't think you can see beyond your own narrative, or desire to white knight. It may not always be a bad thing, but in this case, it very much is. I'm not a scapegoater, but I do find it ironic you feel the NEED to "defend" her, while making the conscious CHOICE not to defend those she is offending. That's a weird position to put yourself in and a very weird place on the fence to sit. Careful where you try and balance yourself, lest you may find one of those posts up an orifice, wherein the feeling may not be nearly as pleasant as whatever high you're getting from this faux white knight role you're playing. It's a proverbial dangerous place, on which to rest your laurels, and other bits. You do talk an awful lot about defending people, and spend a lot of time on the forums coming to the defense of others, for someone making the choice to defend someone who has now admitted she was intentionally making things up and not speaking in truths. But, if if makes you feel better, have at it, lol. It'll just make any future defenses you come up with for others rather pointless, if not entirely devoid of meaning and good intent.

This is what tends to happen when someone ends up realizing they're white knighting for someone that A-doesn't need it, B-doesn't want it, C-doesn't deserve it. It turns to this really weird attempt at passive aggressive responses because they've no more fuel in their tanks for an actual discussion. You know it's perfectly okay, pretty human even, to simply say "hmm, maybe I've been defending the wrong side on this one". She already admitted it was a line of horse crap she was feeding us, and not actually a misinterpretation by readers. She, herself, has said that the line about those with disabilities was something she made up or thought she read on the internet, but not something she's ever actually experienced, so, a lie each and every time she's mentioned it. Why is so hard for you to back down off your position and admit that maybe you picked the wrong horse? I do it all the time when I realize I'm defending something that I shouldn't, usually because someone helps me see the error in my thinking, but not always. I see all kinds of people do it all the time, actually, even here on the forums. I have seen minds changed, I have seen opinions change. I have seen positions change. But you..nope, always steadfast, no matter how wrong it's been proven (by the very person you're attempting to defend) that you're in the wrong and defending the undefendable.

I didn't misinterpret anything and you have been posting with me in these forums for many years. You know I will, and do, take words at their exact face value, not my own interpretation as such. We've had this round and round discussion about it before on more than one occasion, because of the very fact that I don't read into others' intentions, I read their words. Sometimes the intent doesn't match the face value of the words, and I totally get that. I am all for discussing stuff like that, coming to agreements, etc...In fact, I like those discussions, even when I don't agree. But, this isn't one of those kinds of discussions. No, what she said, and has now admitted, was a bunch of bollocks about those with disabilities feeling more human because of her. The two are not the same, but the end result for those reading very well can be, and in this case, it was, is and is going to remain so. That's good, for you, and them (really, not snark). There are loads of things people do and say in sl, well everywhere really, that don't offend me, but DO offend others. My not being offended, doesn't take away them being so. So why does your not being offended, or others not being offended, override those who are? If you're to assume that those offended are actually in the minority (and even if they aren't, really). Why do you get to dictate that they ought not to be, and because you declare it so, it must be so. I am offended, others are offended, that should be enough, but it's not because you are persisting with this need to white knight for someone that has now admitted it wasn't merely a misunderstanding, or misinterpretation, or even her simply expressing what her clients have told her, but rather her talking out of her rear. You're defending a defenseless position on this one. As much as I might commend you for defending others, in all kinds of situations (whether or not I always agree) on this one you are just flat out wrong.

That sounds like a number I'd definitely use.

Most of us are very aware that is is an expression, when WE, ourselves, say it. It becomes less so when someone says it FOR US, however. Context is important and you[re ignoring that part. I don't believe for even one iota of a second that anyone has ever actually said it to her. However, even if that was the case, there comes a point when it becomes a problem to keep "revealing their words". That point was reached the first time she was told it's offensive. It was reached again the second time. Now, we are waaay past that point. I get you think you're sticking up for her, but you're not. When you're told something is offensive, and you keep doing it anyway, it stops being a case of everyone else just being mean to you. (general you of course). How many times do we need to say something's offensive before you'll believe us that it's actually offensive, and we've every right to BE offended?

I tried not to comment on this part, and I failed. To the first part, go find a rusty spork, sit, and spin, while you think about this. As someone who has a specific handicap, which falls under the umbrella of a disability, I abhor everything you stand for, and it has nothing to do with what you have spent your sl life doing, but rather your attitude about every other person around you, how you describe it, how you speak about and treat others, all under the guise of being treated poorly yourself(which you are not, have not been, and should let go of that shpeal already). You, too, fit the definition of a narcissist, and you are most definitely not the kind person people have been attempting to portray you as when you say things like this. You have said this same thing at least a handful of times on the forum. Each and every time people have asked you, both politely and not to knock it the hell off because it's really, really, really offensive. I don't believe for two seconds ANYONE has ever actually told you that you make them feel human, I think that's your ego pretending your LL's sexual gift to the grid, which apparently you think you are (you're not alone, loads of people seem to think they are) speaking to you. Stop being so damn offensive all the time. People shouldn't need to keep pointing it out to you. Regardless of what one overzealous little wee willy might think, being infamous is rarely ever a good thing. If attention is what you crave, and negative attention fills that craving as well as positive does, then you have an actual problem (that's a general you, because it's also fitting for people who say things like "haters gonna hate" and "I make friends as easily as I do enemies, I'm proud of have both"). That's child-like, and narcissistic behavior that stems from some type of mental disorder (and I am NOT knocking mental health disorders, there is a myriad of them out there in the world, some are far more harmful to one's self and others, than other disorders are....narcissism is nearly always more damaging to others). People try to put it nicely, people have tried to ask you to stop saying things like this. People have pointed out just how offensive it actually is. Instead of listening to them, you're letting some wee willy help you stroke your ego, and continuing with, well, the exact behavior that causes people to say you're "immoral". It has nothing to do with your chosen profession, hobby, whatever gets you off..it has to do with your behavior surrounding that and this weird ego that seems ot dictate you can do and say whatever you want and should someone say anything against it...they're just being mean. No, how about you're being mean and you need to quit. To the second, bolding mine: Calling people who are disabled not human, is evil, knock it the eff off already.

I hope you can now understand precisely why narcissism (which we now know wasn't the wording you were going for) can be, and most often is, a very bad thing, regardless of the place within the world that one chooses to allow it to spread its wings and go forth majestically. Reality versus a virtual environment makes little to no difference, it nearly always ends the same way, with those majestic wings flopping about like a wee willy with no destination, a new found freedom from the looney bin, and a whole lot of drugs in its system. Sure, we might entertain the idea of watching it for a while, but eventually it not only grows tedious and annoying to watch, but may even prove to be harmful to those around it That's my long winded way of saying a huge ego, which at its base core is the most polite way to describe narcissism, more often than not doesn't pan out like the one wielding it thinks it does. And for the wee willy wanker floppin about

Wait....what in the actual hell? Do you know what narcissism actually is? How on earth does narcissism in sl, which is more likely to be a projection of the exact same trait in a person in rl (whether the person actively, or regularly, expresses it in rl or not) and nearly always has negative connotation.....help with rl aesthetic? How do you even correlate the two? I really don't think narcissism is very helpful to anyone 99% of the time, be it rl or sl, and I think it often aids people in being more harmful as humans in general-regardless of the recipient of the expressed behavior(s). I certainly don't think sl narcissism helps a damn soul with aesthetic in sl or rl, it's quite often a precursor to negative things, certainly not positive in most instances (and I believe I am being very generous when I say most) Not touching the other part of your post because I don't think every bloody post you make needs to surround sexuality, especially when you've been asked, more times than not, to knock that ***** off in this section of the forum. (I'm also not sure how you define morality to be honest, as it may not fall in line with what I think many define it as, and that's not a bad thing, I'm not necessarily sure there really are social norms across the board for such....so I'm gonna veer off course for the rest of this post) There are things people do, express, participate in, "feel" as it were, in sl, that can aid them in rl, which is where I thought you were going with the post, and am going to continue assuming you were going. Social aspects of sl can aid people in rl a lot, actually. People who behave more introverted in rl, whether they truly would be defined as such (by themselves or anyone else) may find that a virtual environment like sl, helps them overcome those issues (if they indeed feel it is an issue). For others still, though, it may be the exact opposite. Learned skills, within sl, in general, are things that can, often, assist people with rl things. Sl can be tremendously beneficial, tremendously damaging, and everything in between, all of it centers around humans regardless and what they deem to be right, wrong and indifferent. It's not often that all of those things match up across the board, though such things have been discussed here and prior incarnations of the fora, quite a lot, I doubt you'll find a whole lot of consensus on any particular tidbit, because humans, human nature and what people define as morals and ethics, will vary as greatly as humans themselves do.

This term self policing doesn't mean what you think it means. No one is asking you to police others, you're choosing to. The self part of that phrase gives its definition away. What LL are saying is... "hakuna your own tatas" (police your...SELF) Good thing you're not No they're not, which is how I know you either have never actually been through the new user experience, or you're talking out your rear lol. How does either hate or hustler fit that experience, which, I might add, isn't possible when rez rights aren't granted. What you probably saw was one avatar and another avatar having a jolly good time with this headshot thing a whole lot of us have that merely animates one's self, while another av clicks that person's head. I can assure you, no avatars are harmed in the making of this scene....I still find it funny, even over a decade later Very bad Paulsian, that's not the company's name Yet, you stayed for an entire year. If it was that traumatic, you wouldn't still be here, but nice try, lol. So quit reporting, no one's holding a gun to your head and making you. Sometimes threads need a bit of reality injected. It's all about choices Paulsian, and clearly, whatever ones you're making, are traumatizing your own self. I don't know why you keep doing things to harm yourself, but you should really stop doing that. There's a whole wide world of sl out there, and for whatever reason you're fixating ont he parts you don't like. I can't imagine there are NO parts you like (but if there aren't, again...why you here?). If you don't like infohubs, and I don't blame you for such feelings, don't go to them, super simple. If you don't like certain aspects of sl, don't participate in the, don't visit sims designed around them...find better things to do. It's not up to LL, or really anyone else, to entertain us here in sl. As nice as it might be to have an entire virtual environment catered to us, our individual whims, and no others, that's not remotely reasonable. If you want that, go to opensim and make your own. If, however, you want ideas on how better to experience sl, how to find the good parts, how to enjoy yourself.....there's a CRAP TON of advice you could be given. Although this isn't the way I would suggest to go about getting it, might I suggest finding things that interest you in rl, or would interest you if you could do them, and then find them in sl. In sl, I can parachute, go bungee jumping, fly and drive all kinds of vehicles, visit places I can't in rl, surf, ski, meet people from all over the world, build and create, it's endless, really. The world is literally at my fingertips and I.....ONLY I...control how that world goes. If I don't like something, I can leave. I have this amazing power, we all have it, and it's super easy to use. That doesn't excuse the poor behavior of others, in the least, it simply puts control in our own hands that we'd otherwise not have. I don't have to let any of the negative things others do, say, participate in, whatever, affect me, at all. If I choose to let it affect me, that's still a choice, right, wrong, or indifferent, it's a choice.

It's really not that complicated, involved, or some special skill one must spend dedicated time to perfecting. Like I said, it's really not that complicated. It only seems so because someone, somewhere, at some point, told you it was so, and you've deemed it so. Most people do it far more frequently than they realize. Not all lucid dreaming can be later recalled, either (most actually can't, not on command anyway), much like most human thought cannot always be later recalled, on command or otherwise, because we simply haven't the capacity to always multitask our grey matter in a manner we so wish (and those who claim otherwise are probably using even less of their grey matter than I do when I space cadet). That said, if it makes some people feel special or as if they've honed in on some special skill because they can remember manipulating their own dreams to their own will, and want to believe that it's a skill they have both learned and perfected...I won't tell them to their face they shouldn't feel special for it, or be proud of it I'm still damn proud of my 13 prim bench, my first ever creation in sl...and it, plus the skill required to create it, most definitely nothing to be super proud of in the eyes of most.

Back before hubby and I ever got to actually meet in person (we knew what one another looked like, just hadn't traveled to visit yet...LDR), and sl was one of our primary ways to spend time together.... I would dream of the things we did, said, were going to do, sims we visited or were going to visit, etc..... in sl and us doing them, which would morph into our rl selves doing those very same things, both within sl and in rl. Sometimes it would morph back into our avs doing it again both in sl and rl, sometimes it would morph back again....but that was just me manipulating the dreams (which is super easy to do and not that difficult of a "learned skill" as some would have you believe). We've actually done a LOT of those things since, minus some of the places we haven't yet visited in rl